Loving an Idiot is hard
by WritingStoriesInClass101
Summary: Kagura has finally realized she likes Sougo but she wants him to make the first move. What better way to do that than to 'date' the one man that Sougo 'hates' the most? "Hijikata-san, please go out with me." Kagura breathed. Three hearts, three idiots, only one possible ending two routes: Hijikagu/Okikagu. Swearing and aged up. UPDATE: HIJIKAGU FINAL CHAPTER OUT. COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

**Kagura is 18, Sougo is 22, Hijikata is 31.**

 **Yes, I notice I like putting Hijikata in the line of fire when it comes to my OkiKagu stories, that's because he is probably the only guy that Kagura can interact with that will get the strongest reactions from Sougo. Plus, I love Hijikata and Kagura interactions. It's adorable in a reluctant big brother and little sister way. Hope everyone enjoys this story, It's a new premise I'm testing out.**

 **I appreciate criticisms and thoughts so that i can make improvements.**

 **enjoy.**

* * *

"J-jealous?" Kagura asked in disbelief, "I don't know if the sadist even feels such a thing."

"This 'sadist' is a man, is he not? All men feel jealousy." Tsukuyo told her in a matter-of-fact voice.

They were sitting together at Hinowa's. Tsukuyo smoked her pipe while Kagura sat nervously beside her.

Kagura had gone to the courtesan of death for some advice on a certain captain, that she grudgingly admits she now kind of, sort of, maybe, possibly likes.

She had began having strange emotions a while ago and, after consulting several of her female seniors and friends, they had given her the same conclusion: She had feelings for Okita Sougo.

Of course, Kagura was in no way going to make the first move. This was the sadist she was dealing with.

Her female seniors and friends had concluded that Okita harboured feelings for her as well, something they suspected for a while actually, but the problem, they pointed out, was that the captain might be in denial of them.

If she came right out and confessed to him now, he'd probably insult her, play it off as a joke or reject her outright. Possibly all three.

That was how Kagura thought of her only other option, which was to get him to confess his feelings first.

The first person she went to ask was Tsukuyo.

Normally she'd go to her Anego but, if she told Otae, it would probably be overheard by the ever present stalker Kondo, and that would ruin everything.

"So if I make him jealous, he will make his move?" Kagura asked, unsure of the suggestion.

"If we are right about his feelings, then yes, he will." Tsukuyo replied, blowing out a puff of smoke.

"Hey Tsukki, how exactly do I make him jealous?" Kagura inquired, "I don't have anything he wants."

The only jealousy she's ever felt were that of material envy.

Is that the kind that Tsukuyo meant?

"That's not the kind of jealousy I'm talking about. I'm saying, make him jealous with another guy." Tsukuyo corrected her.

Kagura made a face.

The older woman almost facepalmed when she saw the confused expression.

Kagura may be eighteen now but she sure was still clueless about certain things. Tsukuyo found it endearing.

She sighed deeply.

"Here's what you do, do exactly as I say okay?" Tsukuyo started.

She began putting together a plan.

* * *

At the Shinsengumi headquarters, Their main target was, as usual, napping on the job.

"Oy, wake up, Sougo!" A pissed off Vice-Chief yelled.

He pulled the young man's eye mask back and let it go, which resulted in slapping the Captain awake.

"F*ck you, Hijikata." Sougo said casually as he got up.

"Yeah yeah, get back to work, bastard." Hijikata replied, he wasn't in the mood to deal with a sadist right now.

He thought he'd gotten away safely when he arrived at his office, without so much as a bazooka shot at him or a sword in his back.

Of course, this was Okita we're talking about.

Hijikata only noticed the beeping when it was too late.

"Sougo, you damn bastard!" Hijikata yelled.

The whole headquarters shook from the blast.

"It's a nice day today." Sougo commented.

He watched as the blue sky became covered by plumes of black smoke, coming from the Vice-Chief's office.

* * *

A little while later, After being rescued from the rubble by his subordinates,  
Hijikata sat in the temporary office, he had set up at a spare room in the compound, and was half fuming, half working there.

In the middle of cursing Sougo's existence for the hundredth time, he received a visitor.

"Oh it's you, what do you want?" He greeted the new comer.

Kagura avoided looking at his face.

She shyly sat down across from him.

"Well?" Hijikata asked. This better be important, after getting blasted earlier, all he wanted to do now was finish his work today, fast, and relax over a Hijikata special and some sake.

Kagura fidgeted a bit.

While waiting for an answer, Hijikata lit a cigarette and took a few puffs.

"Oy, if you have nothing to-!" He tried to say but the girl cut him off.

"G-G-GO OUT W-WITH ME!" Kagura practically yelled.

Hijikata immediately spat out his cigarette and began having a coughing fit.

Was he hearing this right?

That blast must have really messed him up.

"Hah?! I what with you?" He spluttered.

"Don't make me say it again, I-it's embarrassing!" Kagura said with a blush, trying to avoid looking at him.

"Stop messing around, China. Are you trying to pull a joke?" Hijikata asked, "It's not funny. Go home, I don't have time fo-"

"I'm not joking, damn mayonnaise addict! G-go o-out w-with me!" she yelled at first but lost momentum near the end.

This was too embarrassing and something she had never done before.

Hijikata was starting to get pissed, Just how far was she going to take this joke?

"Oy, I don't know who put you up to this, but I don't have time for stupid jokes. Leave and try it on some other sucker. I ain't falli-" But he didn't get to finish.

Kagura, in a desperate attempt to get him to agree, had tried to grab his collar and plead further, but had lost her balance and, instead, fell right on top of Hijikata.

"Dammit China, what are you doing?" He growled at the girl on top of him.

He was just about to push her off when he noticed how close her face was to his.

Bright blue eyes bore into deeper blue ones.

"Hijikata-san, Please, go out with me." Kagura breathed.

* * *

Yamazaki was nervous.

He had just finished speaking to the contractor, in charge of fixing the Vice-Chief's office, and the verdict was not good.

"The Vice-Chief won't be happy about this." He muttered to himself.

Why did he have to be the one to relay the bad news?

"I'm gonna get beat again." Yamazaki cried.

"Hey Zaki, they say talking to yourself is an early sign of insanity. Be careful." a voice suddenly told him.

Yamazaki looked up to find Captain Okita in front him him.

Speak of the devil, the one who started all this was right here.

Why'd Captain Okita have to mess with the Vice-chief this much? It was Yamazaki who always ended up being hurt by the Hijikata when Okita did something.

"C-captain Okita, I'll keep that in mind." Yamazaki replied.

"Well, where are you headed off to?" Okita inquired.

"To the Vice-Chief, I have the result of the inspection of his office." Yamazaki replied.

The office you destroyed, He thought to himself.

"Oh? Then I'll go with you. I want to see his reaction." Okita said, looking a bit excited.

"O-okay." Yamazaki replied, he didn't know if this was a good thing or not.

With Captain Okita accompanying him, he wondered which one Hijikata would attack when he received the bad news.

* * *

The two arrived outside the temporary office of the Vice-Chief just in time to hear a commotion inside.

Okita, never having been polite, slid the door open a crack to see what had happened.

They were greeted with quite a shocking sight.

The Yorozuya amanto girl was inside the room with Hijikata, and they were in a very compromising position.

She was sprawled on top of the vice chief and their faces were only inches apart.

What the hell was going on? Alarm bells were going off in Yamazaki's head, they shouldn't be spying on such a private moment.

He was just about to slide the door closed again when the girl spoke.

"Hijikata-san, Please go out with me."

In that instant, Yamazaki saw a much more unbelievable sight.

Captain Okita was trembling.

Was he scared? Laughing? No, that wasn't it, Yamazaki thought.

He was angry. Captain Okita was trembling with fury.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: XTataraX: haha oops! sorry for making you fangirl, I advice you go into your room again before reading this chapter then. You might fan girl again ^_^**

 **Guests: thanks! and here ya go! more \^_^/**

 **kasmindag5: haha well here it is!**

 **Blue face: thanks! here it is! I tried as fast as I could.**

 **chantal027: thanks! hope you enjoy this one too.**

 **criticisms are welcome!**

 **fun fact: I was literally eating sukonbu while writing this. \^_^/ I'm hooked on the stuff!**

* * *

Yamazaki flinched.

Not only was the first division Captain furious, his hand had scarily gone straight to the hilt of his sword.

"C-captain, you mustn't!" Yamazaki whispered fiercely.

Okita turned to Yamazaki and instantly made the spy flinch again.

"Don't get in my way!" Okita growled.

Yamazaki could just stare, as Sougo turned his attention back to the two they were watching.

He whimpered a bit as the Captain began to slowly pull out his sword.

Yamazaki knew he had to do something, with the way the Captain was now, the Vice-Chief would most likely get seriously hurt.

Just as he was about to jump Okita, he saw the Captain pause, his breath hitched.

Following the captain's gaze, Yamazaki saw what had made the captain literally freeze.

Hijikata, whilst still having the girl on top of him, had leaned in closer and was seemingly snuggling his face into the crook of her neck.

The girl had responded with a blush and, to the shock of the one's watching, seemed to pull Hijikata closer by grabbing him by the shoulders.

The Vice-Chief then snaked an arm around her bare mid-drift and they stayed like that for what seemed like a long time to the one's watching them.

Yamazaki, after snapping himself out of the shock, immediately turned to look at the captain's reaction. It was not good.

Okita had his fists clenched to the point that they had gone white, yet, his expression looked confused; as if he didn't know whether to be angry, shocked or … was that pain that Yamazaki could see in his eyes?

A movement in the room once again turned his attention back to Hijikata and the china gi-!

"Where did they go?!" Yamazaki exclaimed.

The room was empty.

"Tch!" He heard Okita say before the captain rushed inside.

They instantly saw the opened door that lead outside.

Okita sped out first whilst Yamazaki stumbled after him.

They arrived just in time, in the courtyard, to catch a glimpse of the China girl's vermilion hair, disappear around the corner of a building.

They rushed towards it.

"This place should be fine." They heard Hijikata's voice.

Careful not to make a sound, both spies peeked at the two.

Yamazaki's mouth fell open.

The Vice-Chief had the amanto girl pinned against the wall and he was slowly putting his face closer and closer to hers.

What the hell?

* * *

The room incident was not exactly what it seemed though.

Back in the room, in Hijikata's and Kagura's point of view:

Truth be told, Hijikata was well aware that the Yorozuya girl was beautiful.

She had become gorgeous in the past year or so.

Yet, no way in hell was he gonna go out with her out of nowhere like this.

They didn't exactly interact much but they were on okay terms.

Which is why there was no logical reason she'd all of a sudden want to date him.

There must be something else to this, Hijikata thought to himself.

Looking into her eyes, she looked pretty desperate.

Her behavior ever since she arrived had also been pretty strange, when the hell did she NOT call him 'mayora'? Where did the 'Hijikata-san' come from anyway? It made him uncomfortable.

Maybe he should make her tell him what was really going on.

Just when he was about to ask her, he felt the presence of two people just outside the room.

Damn, he should have noticed it earlier. They were being spied on.

Geez, this will probably turn into the top gossip amongst the Shinsengumi.

The vice-chief was with an eighteen year old during working hours.

He looked at said eighteen year old now.

Something was definitely up, this girl, who he admits is a damn good fighter, would normally have noticed the eavesdroppers as well yet she didn't.

He sighed. He had no choice. He had to take her somewhere else where he could get the truth out of her.

Slowly, he leaned in closer to her ear.

"Someone's watching us right now, don't react. Just follow me when I move, okay?" Hijikata whispered.

He had to stop the blush creeping up on his cheeks.

A beautiful girl was literally on top of him and, well, he couldn't stop his eyes from gazing at her smooth neck or smelling the nice flowery scent that she emitted, as he whispered.

The sudden closeness of the Vice-Chief and his breath on her ear and neck, of course, made Kagura blush as well.

This was too much for her, she began to feel light-headed.

She subconsciously steadied herself by placing her hands on Hijikata's shoulders.

Crap! Hijikata thought. He had to get her out of there fast.

This was too much physical contact in his opinion. Whoever was watching them would probably interpret it badly and make the gossip worse.

He wrapped his arm around her mid-section, only to realize her mid-section was uncovered.

Just what the hell was this girl wearing? That idiot boss of hers let her go out like this?

Dammit all!

"Ready?" He whispered.

Hijikata swiftly got up, pulling the girl onto her feet with him.

Grabbing her wrist, he rushed out the door, that lead to the yard, with her in tow.

The equipment building area should have no one around this time of day.

Hijikata took a glance behind them before pulling her towards the back of the building.

He had seen no one.

"This place should be fine." He told her.

Now to find out what's really going on.

In a quick movement, he had her against the wall.

Why would she do all this?

Maybe she was sick?

Hijikata ignored the blush on both of their faces as he leaned in closer.

The girl looked almost surprised when his forehead landed on hers.

"No fever." He concluded.

"W-what? I'm not sick!" Kagura stammered.

What could it be then?

"Oy, what's rea-!" but before Hijikata could finish, he sensed someone watching them again.

Dammit.

Whoever was spying on them was good.

"It can't be helped." He said.

Once again, he leaned in real close to her ear and whispered.

"They followed us, if we run anywhere, they'd probably follow us there too. I-I'll just talk like this, got it?"

Kagura slowly nodded.

Why'd he have to be so close?

Strangely, he didn't smell like mayonnaise, like she expected.

Even though he was the second in command of a police force known to be country samurai and thug-like, he smelled ...pretty nice.

What the hell was she thinking?

His breath tickled too, and he was tall so she pretty much had her face almost buried in his chest.

Maybe she should just stop all this and go home?

"So? What exactly is going on here?" Hijikata suddenly whispered.

Why was he asking that? Was he so dense not to know what 'go out with me' meant?

"What do you mean?" She whispered back.

"I'm not buying it, China. Why are you asking me to do such a thing with you?" He asked.

Damn, he saw through it.

She wriggled a bit, enough to make him pull away from her.

Kagura needed to look at his face so she could read him

"Promise to keep it a secret?" She asked.

"Yes." He replied. She watched his eyes. He wasn't lying.

Kagura sighed, she had no choice, this was the only way to make the plan happen.

Bashfully, she pulled at his collar to indicate that he should get closer again so she could whisper.

"I-I like the sadist." She told him. Kagura felt like melting.

"Then why the hell are you asking ME out?" Hijikata growled into her ear.

He had a point there.

"Idiot, you really think that jerk will do anything other than insult me, if I told him my feelings?" She asked. He should know more than anyone, how f*cked up the sadist can be.

Now that Hijikata thought about it, she was right.

He had been suspecting for a while now that Okita had a thing for the china girl, but knowing how messed up that guy's thinking is, he probably either is unaware of it, or is in denial.

Sougo would most likely just break this girl's heart by doing something stupid after her confession.

"Then why ask me to go out with you?" He asked.

At this, the girl blushed again.

"B-because if you and I are 'dating' it will make that idiot jealous and he might finally make his move." She told him.

"Oy, so you're basically putting me in danger with that idiot, for your love life?" He growled.

"When are you ever not in danger with that idiot anyway?" She replied.

She had a point there. Cue flash back of his office blowing up just a few hours ago.

"Well, why would I agree?" Hijikata asked.

This sounded like a pain in the a** to do.

"Idiot, making the sadist jealous means you're annoying the hell out of him by basically doing nothing but acting like we're together, that's like really good revenge after all he's done to you!" She reasoned.

Hijikata's eyes widened.

He should have realized that sooner.

Then he remembered something.

"Oy, what about the others? That boss of yours and I'm pretty sure most of your district will be after me if I 'dated' you." He said.

He could already imagine the lynch mob of cabaret girls, the yorozuya, some homeless people and a few others, marching towards the shinsengumi compound whilst demanding for his head.

"Don't worry, I'll deal with them and if one of them does try something I-I'll protect you." Kagura said with a blush.

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed.

This would definitely cause waves of crazy reactions from all the people they knew.

Yet, the thought of annoying the hell out of Sougo was very tempting.

Also, if that idiot does finally make a move and start dating the China girl, he might stop being so damn irritating with his 'pranks' on Hijikata.

He had to consider the fact that he and the girl would have to work on being convincing as a couple though. That would probably be awkward.

He snapped out of his thoughts when the girl spoke.

"Please." Kagura said. She had nudged him a bit so that they were face to face.

Dammit. She was making puppy dog eyes at him.

He stared into her blue orbs long and hard.

Hijikata sighed.

"Fine." He said.

To his surprise, the girl hugged him.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed.

Kagura felt so relieved. She was just about to tell him what she thought they should do first as a 'couple' when suddenly, he had her up against the wall again.

"I'm still supposed to work right now, but I get off at five. Meet me at this location and we can discuss everything there." He whispered fiercely into her ear whilst shoving a restaurant call card into her hand.

Their discussion had distracted him so much that he hadn't noticed the increase in the number of people watching them.

"O-okay." Kagura replied.

"I think we're coming out as a couple earlier than expected." He whispered before swiftly taking out his sword and swinging at the spies' direction.

The whole corner of the building exploded.

The dust and smoke cleared to reveal a whole bunch of shinsengumi members injured and scared.

"We're sorry, Vice-chief!" They squealed.

"We weren't spying or anything!" one said.

"Idiot! Don't say that! It makes it more obvious that we were!" another shouted.

"Hey bastards, don't you know it's rude to spy on a couple just trying to spend some time with each other?" Hijikata growled.

"We're so sorry sir it's ju- COUPLE!?" the idiots exclaimed.

"Yeah? What about it?" Hijikata asked threateningly.

Suddenly, he grabbed Kagura by the waist and pulled her against him, "Can't a man get some alone time with his girlfriend nowadays?"

The shinsengumi members simultaneously coughed up blood.

"G-GIRLFRIEND?!" They wailed.

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed. He was getting pissed and, admittedly, a bit embarrassed.

He turned to Kagura, "H-Honey, sorry that our rendezvous got cut short, I'll meet you later okay? I gotta deal with some dead bodies."

Kagura blushed, "S-sure, D-darling. I'll meet you later. L-love you!" and with a face as red as a tomato, she planted a quick peck on Hijikata's cheek and rushed off.

"D-Darling!? H-Honey!? KISSUU?!" The members wailed again.

"Wait! Did you say 'dead bodies' just now, vice-chief?!" one of them asked.

"Y-you don't mean us do you?" another piped up.

Hijikata turned to them.

They flinched. Now they remembered exactly why he was called the demon vice chief.

"Hah? What was that? Dead bodies shouldn't be talking ya know? Let me fix that."

"GYAAAAAHH!"

* * *

Yamazaki silently prayed for his fellow members.

He had been smart enough to hide behind a small shed nearby rather than the more obvious corner of the building.

He hadn't been caught, nor had the captain.

Speaking of the captain, the vice-chief's and the china girl's interaction was so shocking that Yamazaki had forgotten to keep an eye on the Captain's reactions, Okita must be fuming by now.

Yamazaki paused.

Maybe he shouldn't look behind him, he might see the devil.

But wait, aside from the other member's blood curling screams at the hands of the vice-chief, it was too quiet.

"C-Captain!?" Yamazaki shrieked.

The sadist was gone.

Oh no!

"China!" Yamazaki exclaimed. Captain Okita must have gone after her.

Yamazaki quickly got up and ran to the gates where the China was headed earlier.

There! He spotted Okita standing near the entrance to the compound.

"Captain!" He yelled.

He was just about to shout again when he noticed the captain was not alone.

Just at the edge of the gate stood China.

The two were looking at each other venomously.

This was not good.

Yamazaki instinctively hid behind a beam and spied on them.

"What?" Kagura asked.

"As I said, what did you do to Hijikata-san?" Okita repeated.

"What the hell do you mean, sadist?" Kagura growled.

"Well, you must have drugged or cursed him or something. No man would willingly date a pig like you." Okita said with a sadistic smile

Yamazaki noticed something though, the captain may be smirking but his eyes looked furious.

"You must have done something to Hijikata-san or else he wouldn't so much as touch you. You're a disgusting woman after all. Ah! Did I say woman? You're not remotely close to one." Okita continued.

This was bad. Yamazaki was sure that the China girl would attack the captain.

Their compound would get seriously damaged if those two fought here.

But that wasn't so.

Yamazaki gasped.

Was he seeing things?

No way.

The China girl...was crying.

Suddenly, Okita's sleeve ripped open and deep crimson blood gushed out.

The captain stepped back, his sword instantly in his hand.

What just happened?

Yamazaki gasped again.

There, standing in front of the crying China girl, was the vice-chief.

"Oy, just what the hell do you think you're doing, bastard?" Hijikata asked.

Silent, cold fury burned in his eyes.

* * *

 **Sorry guys, you might have to wait longer for the next chapter after this one, I get busy again this week.  
**

 **and sorry if there's more HijiKagu than OkiKagu but hang in there! Just think, If I can write this kind of HijiKagu, just imagine the future Okikagu moments in the story ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hana-chan: yeah real life is hard T_T , and thanks! glad you enjoy my stories!**

 **Blue face: your wait is over! haha! and cool so you don't mind the HijiKagu yay.**

 **Gurako-san: I think a real jealous Sougo is scary \\!_!/**

 **Guest: thanks!**

 **Kasmindag5: T_T but Jealous Sougo is a meanie!**

 **Koukaz: Thanks! glad you felt the tension mehahaha! and yes! look forward to the Okikagu.**

 **Anusmita: thanks! and in this story, I'm not sure yet if I make Hijikata develop feelings for Kagura or not mehaha! but right now he is just a man that of course get's affected by a hot Kagura haha.**

 **XTataraX: ah even I'm wondering how I will write how Hijikata and Kagura get him to realize his feelings, his idiocy and sadism knows no limits T_T**

 **darkjeane: well here ya go! Sougo reacting to Hijikata mehaha! and don't worry, Gin will make an appearance in this fanfic _**

 *****Sorry if this chapter is not on par with the previous ones. I appreciate criticisms! I'm not as satisfied with this chapter as I am with the last two. So if there's issues in this one, please say so. I actually want to re-write and re-upload this if so.**

 **If not, enjoy!**

* * *

It happened in a flash.

At first, the two men just glared at each other, then their swords clashed.

"Just what d'you think you're doing to my woman, you little shit?!" Hijikata growled.

Sougo grunted and pushed the vice chief back.

"What kind of man makes a girl cry?" Hijikata taunted as he came in for another attack.

Okita narrowly avoided getting another injury to his already bleeding shoulder.

What was wrong with him right now?

Why did he feel so out of it?

He tried with all his might to not look at Kagura, who seemed to have stopped crying and, instead, was watching him getting his ass kicked.

* * *

Kagura's tears had instantly dried when the two started fighting.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing right now.

The sadist, whom was rumored to be THE best in the Shinsengumi, was actually losing to Hijikata.

Sougo could barely keep up with Hijikata's attacks.

By the time he steadied himself from the previous blow, Hijikata would already be coming in for the next one.

Dammit, Sougo cursed in his mind.

He narrowly dodged another attack from Hijikata.

Sougo's breathing became more ragged as the vice chief mercilessly bombarded him with swing after swing.

"Dammit all!" Sougo let out before something in him snapped.

Next thing he knew, he had the upper hand and was overwhelming Hijikata with non stop attacks.

"Stop this!" He vaguely heard China yell.

Oh so now that your precious boyfriend's getting beat, you want it to stop? I didn't hear you say anything when I was getting it from him earlier, Sougo angrily thought.

Damn Hijikata.

Why'd he have to jump in right when he still had something to say to China?

This bastard should just wait his turn.

Sougo caught a short glimpse of China as he came at Hijikata again.

That's right, she was his first priority right now, he wasn't done talking to her yet.

He took one big swing.

"You're in the way, bastard!" Sougo yelled before aiming a huge blow straight onto Hijikata's front.

"STOP!" Kagura screamed.

* * *

The blood lust in Okita's vision cleared to reveal that, sadly, he hadn't landed a direct hit at the bastard vice-chief.

There, in front of Hijikata, was Kagura.

She had blocked Okita's attack with that amazing umbrella of hers.

"What the hell, China?!" Sougo growled.

Kagura ignored him and instead, swung her umbrella so that his sword flew right out of his hands and landed a short distance away.

"Oy, " She began, "If you still want to fight, I have no problem with going two against one."

The look in those blue eyes showed that she was serious with the threat.

Sougo's anger boiled.

Why was she protecting that bastard like this?

"Like I'd let you do that, Honey." Said bastard finally spoke.

"I can take care of him by myself." Hijikata continued.

Just what was the bastard talking about? Hadn't Sougo been kicking his ass in the last few moments of their fight?

Sougo gasped.

Looking at him properly, every wound and injury Sougo thought he had dealt were all...gone?!

"What the..." Sougo let out.

Was he seeing things?

"Hah? You look confused Sougo. Did you really think you could land a hit on me while you were that distracted?" Hijikata asked, noticing the questioning look on Sougo's face.

"What the hell do you mean bastard?" Sougo growled.

"Something must have happened in that f*cked up brain of yours during the fight, sadist." Kagura told him, "You suddenly started to attack like a crazy idiot but mayo-! Ah I mean darling dodged all of it."

No way.

Okita looked at Hijikata for confirmation, only to find the vice-chief totally relaxed and lighting a cigarette.

"I saw no point in keeping up the offensive when I realized I was against a bastard that's out of it in a fight." Hijikata said as he blew out a puff of smoke.

Okita didn't know what to say.

What was wrong with him?

He couldn't believe it but the proof was right there in front of him.

Hijikata stood there without so much as a scratch while Sougo, well, he was bleeding all over.

"I had to stop you or you'd just make your injuries worse, Idiot sadist." Kagura told him when she saw him look at his wounds.

No way.

That means he lost to Hijikata.

Frustration began to overwhelm him.

Dammit all!

Why'd that bastard always do this?

He takes everything from him.

Now...now he was taking China.

In an instant, Sougo retrieved his sword and was once again in a fighting pose.

"Dammit Sougo, stop being so stubborn! You're lucky I didn't finish kicking your ass." Hijikata growled. He tossed his cigarette and he too got into a stance, ready for a fight.

"Let's just knock him out, that will stop him, yes?" Kagura suggested, getting her umbrella ready.

Just when all three were about to attack, a badminton racket flew in between them.

Wait what?

* * *

"Stop right there!" A familiar voice shouted.

There, Coming right at the three, were a bunch of Shinsengumi members and one Gorilla.

"Kondo-san?" Hijikata questioned.

The chief of the Shinsengumi charged at his two subordinates.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing!?" He shrieked.

To the shock of everyone else, Kondo gave Hijikata and Sougo each a smack on the back of the head.

"Geez! I did not raise you both to kill each other!" Kondo half shrieked, half cried.

"Oy, I don't remember being raised by a gorilla." Hijikata said as he rubbed his head.

"Just what were you two fighting about anyway?" Kondo asked.

He looked between Hijikata and Sougo.

The latter had not looked up since having been hit.

Sougo's face looked almost like a mixture of rage, shame and confusion.

Damn, Hijikata thought, this guy can really be an idiot sometimes.

"It just sort of happened." Hijikata replied to Kondo.

He didn't want to embarrass the sadist further by mentioning the cause of their fight.

Hijikata looked at Kagura.

Geez, just the first few moments into her plan and it already caused this much chaos.

The only consolation was that Hijikata had another win against Sougo under his belt.

"What do you mean it just happened?!" Kondo shouted.

"Geez, just let this one go, Kondo-san." Hijikata growled.

"I can't Toshi. This looked like a pretty serious fight." Kondo stated, he glanced at Sougo.

The gorilla definitely sensed something was up, It wasn't everyday that Sougo got that injured.

"Toshi, brief me on what happened. As you should know, it is stated in the Code of the Shinsengumi that personal fights are not allowed and is punishable by seppuku." Kondo said to his vice-chief..

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed. Great, of all times, it had to be now that the chief remembered the codes.

"So," Kondo continued, "either you provide me with a good explanation or I start the preparations for you and Sougo's double suicide immediately.

"Don't do that, Gori!" Kagura suddenly interrupted.

To Hijikata's and everyone else's surprise, she grabbed Hijikata's arm.

"It was my fault that the sadist and d-darling fought!" She pleaded.

"Huh? Darling? Who's that?" Kondo asked.

Hijikata felt the blush coming.

Dammit, he didn't want the chief to find out like this.

Yeah, sure, the men that had seen them earlier would have spread it around but Kondo-san probably would not have believed it. He had planned to talk with China later so that they could come up with a better way to 'debut' as a couple.

"D-darling is Mayor-! Ah I mean Hijikata-san of course!" Kagura told Kondo. She too was fighting off a blush.

"Hijikata-san? Ah! Did you introduce a relative of yours to China, Toshi?" Kondo asked, Still not getting it.

"Oy, you already know I have no other relatives. She meant me!" Hijikata growled.

Sh*t, he hadn't thought before he spoke.

"YOU!?" Kondo cried, "YOU AND CHINA!?"

The men who had come with Kondo also looked shocked.

Geez, was it that crazy?

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed. He grabbed China by the waist and pulled her against him.

"Yeah, me and K-Kagura, what about it?" He said, trying to keep a cool face even though his body temperature was feeling anything but.

The group of Shinsengumi had instantly began wailing about how a demon got a girlfriend first before them and what not.

Kondo, on the other hand, was not freaking out like Hijikata thought he would.

Kondo's eyes went from the 'couple' to the still unmoving Sougo.

The sadist had not so much as flinched ever since Kondo had arrived and reprimanded them.

So this new 'development' was what caused the fight huh? Kondo thought.

He had always suspected that Sougo had a thing for China, but he didn't think it was serious enough to cause a fight.

Toshi and China being together must really affect Sougo a lot or else he would not have gotten this injured against Toshi.

Kondo knew he had to do something.

First things first, he needed to talk to Sougo alone.

"You men, get back to work." He ordered the group he came with. They left one after the other.

"Toshi, you too, say your uh goodbyes then get back to work." Kondo told Hijikata.

"China, sorry but the work day isn't over yet for Toshi, could you meet him after?" He asked Kagura.

"Ah yeah, I was actually about to leave when this happened. I'll see you later then, D-darling." Kagura stammered. She was just about to give Hijikata a peck on the cheek when a sword came in between Hijikata's face and her lips.

"So this is really happening huh?" a voice came.

They looked towards it's direction, only to find Sougo glaring at all of them.

* * *

About half an hour later.

Kagura absentmindedly walked through Kabuki-cho.

Her mind was still trying to process what had happened earlier.

The sadist had stopped her kiss with Mayora. They had immediately expected another fight to happen but shockingly, the sadist just sighed at them.

"T-This is some sick sh*t happening but I don't give a damn anymore. Do whatever. Sorry for earlier China, hope you're happy with this mayonnaise bastard. Hijikata, hope you're satisfied with this brat. Kondo-san, I'm taking today off and going to get myself to stop bleeding. Well, see ya." and with that, the sadist just left.

Kagura didn't know what to make of it.

Maybe she was wrong about his feelings for her.

He did say he didn't give a damn.

Yet, Kagura had seen something that looked like sadness in his eyes when he left.

Perhaps she was just having some wishful thinking.

Maybe he didn't care at all that she was 'dating' Hijikata.

But why'd he lose to mayora then if he wasn't affected?

He did say though, that it was 'some sh*t happening', maybe that distracted him and made him off his game.

He probably doesn't like her at all.

He did say all those things to her.

She hadn't meant to cry, she always received insults from him, but somehow, those particular ones hurt a lot.

Kagura sighed.

"Liking an Idiot is hard." she muttered.

"Hmm? And which idiot might this be that you like? Tell Gin-chan so that he knows who to stick Lake Toya into." a voice came from behind her.

"G-Gin-chan?!" Kagura squeaked.

Uh Oh.

* * *

 **Since I don't have real life friends who watch Gintama (The horror!) I want to fangirl with you guys so...AH OMG THE NEW GINTAMA SEASON'S FIRST EPISODE WAS AMAZEBALLS! i literally watched just the opening three times, the ending twice, watched the whole episode twice and then looked at it frame by frame for three hours! and then spent half an hour screen shoting some scenes I liked. Nobume's new outfit was really pretty, Katsura was adorable and hilarious at the same time, Gintoki was straight-manning like crazy , Kagura was adorable and poor kid had to learn of another fight between idiot son and father, Shinpachi was seriously slacking off in his straight man role for that episode tsk tsk! Can't wait for next episode! because we all know who will appear..AHAHAHA AHAHAHA!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Chantal027: Thanks! and ^O^ sorry for the HijiKagu! haha. just bear with it a little bit longer \\!_!/. also, yeah, the way they say it in the anime made it clearer to understand Atlanta. Can't wait for the next episode!**

 **Hellooo: Thanks! whew, I thought the flow was choppy since i kept getting distracted when I wrote the chapter but glad its okay ^_^**

 **Akely: Yeah, the explanation in the anime made atlanta more easier to get, it actually cleared my confusion on it lol. And regarding the story: don't worry, kagura and Sougo will realize it...just not anytime soon mehaha-ack! *chokes on tears of her readers* _**

 **Kasmindag5: aw now i feel evil for giving him all this angst. ^_^ not really, mwahaha, hang in there, Sougo will be fine.**

 **Koukaz: really? yay thanks! I haven't really written intense stories before, mostly comedy or light ones. glad it got through well. here you go! next chapter ^_^**

 **SolitaryGray: ah nice to see you're reading this other story too \^_^/. Of course, I love Kondo and even though he's usually the butt monkey, there's a reason why he's the chief of the shinsengumi *_*. Here you go! thanks for waiting, new chapter!**

 **XTataraX: haha yeah I can't wait to see Sakamoto again. oh and speaking of Kamui, that's another idiot that give's Kagura a hard time. gah! anyway, here you go, new chapter! and gosh, can't wait for the next episode...monday is too far away T_T**

 *****I wrote an extra long chapter because first, I didn't realize the time and I kept typing lol, second, it might be a while til I update after this so hope this quenches you guys til then! ^_^**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Kagura froze.

She hadn't expected to be confronted, so early into her plan, by the one person she was wary of the most.

"G-Gin-chan!?" the poor girl squeaked.

Kagura debated whether or not to turn around, in her head.

With eyes pursed shut in anticipation, she faced Gin.

"Uh, Gin-chan?" She let out.

What she had expected to be a furious man, turned out to be a very drunk and barely conscious idiot.

"Yo." her boss said.

Gintoki hiccuped then promptly passed out in front of her.

Kagura sighed in relief.

He probably won't remember any of this when he woke up.

She picked up her unconscious boss and, just like all the other times, draped his arm over her shoulders and took him home.

As soon as she had dumped him onto his futon and tucked him in, Kagura dragged herself into her closet for a nap.

* * *

It has been quite a day for her and she just wanted a little rest before going to meet up with her fake boyfriend.

Kagura unintentionally giggled.

"What was that!?" She asked herself.

She knew she wasn't the girliest of girls, but, maybe the thought of having a boyfriend, even the fake kind, was sort of nice and thrilling.

Plus, she couldn't ask for a better fake boyfriend.

Kagura recalled how Hijikata had jumped in between her and sadist when she began crying.

She had to admit, it was pretty sweet of him to defend her like that, not that she needs defending much.

Kagura was quite sure she would have beat the hell out of the sadist, after she stopped crying.

"Damn him!" She let out.

Why'd he have to act so stupid sometimes?

Kagura hugged her pillow tighter.

Her heart hurt. It hurt when he's around and it hurt when he wasn't.

So this is what love feels like?

Or it could be from eating nothing but egg over rice, but she would consider that possibility some other time.

* * *

She had been avoiding thinking about how it would be like if her and sadist did get together.

Kagura's greatest fear was that nothing would change, that he'd continue doing idiotic things and saying things that hurt her.

She didn't want to be the only one serious and mature about the relationship.

True, she did fall for him through their childish rivalry, but a relationship needed to have some grown up thinking as well.

Kagura sighed.

It really was hard loving an idiot.

With Sougo in her thoughts, she fell asleep.

* * *

Back at the Shinsengumi headquarters, Hijikata was, as predicted, getting a hard time about his new 'relationship'.

Every time he walked passed any of the members, he'd hear them whisper about it to each other.

The amount of members going to his office for love advice had also increased dramatically.

Dramatically from zero that is, no had ever expected him to have a real relationship like this.

If only they knew it was fake, Hijikata thought.

He wouldn't have to deal with all this then.

The Vice-Chief looked at his phone for the time.

Four o'clock.

Damn, still an hour to go.

He needed a smoking break.

On his way to the tobacco vending machine, he caught a bit of the conversation two men were having.

"Yeah, they haven't found him yet." The first guy said.

"Well it is the first division Captain, if he doesn't want to be found, he won't be." the other replied.

Damn, Sougo had been gone for hours now.

* * *

After the the sadist left, Kondo-san had tried to go after him.

When the chief came back panting and unsuccessful, he ordered the men to contact all the hospitals to locate which one he went to.

Unfortunately, none reported admitting the wounded captain.

Since then, the information gathering division, A.K.A Yamazaki and them's division were sent out all over Edo to find the estranged and injured idiot.

"Geez, that guy is being so troublesome." Hijikata said to himself as he grabbed the cigarette packet from the slot.

"Ah Toshi, just the guy I wanted to see. Can you come to my office? we need to talk." Kondo's booming voice came from behind him.

Blank faced, Toshi turned to him with the pack in his hands.

They stared at each other for a while.

"Come to my office after you do that." Kondo said, breaking the silence.

"Be back in five." Toshi said, already on his way to the smoking area.

"Hey you two, take this down for me, it's a new Shinsengumi regulation proposal." Kondo told two members that were passing by, "Regulation 48: No taking smoking breaks during one's work hours, punishable by Sepukku."

"Oy, are we gonna talk or not?!" Hijikata growled, taking a sudden turn towards the Kondo's office.

The two men settled inside the chief's office.

Toshi sat facing Kondo, looking a tad pissed off.

"Well?" He huffed.

Kondo gave him a very serious look.

"Toshi, I think of you and Sougo as my younger brothers. You know that right?" Kondo asked.

"No thanks, I don't want to be related to a gorilla and a demon." Hijikata said.

"Toshi! Listen!" Kondo shouted.

Hijikata immediately took him more seriously, dammit.

Sighing, Kondo continued, "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that you finally found someone, Toshi. But why did it have to be the China girl?"

Hijikata felt like making a run for it.

How the hell was he gonna answer that?

He had planned to talk about such details in his meeting with his 'girlfriend' later.

He couldn't just do a gorilla and say "Kondo-san, you see...She turns me on."

Hijikata would rather not eat Mayonnaise for a week than say something like that.

Yet.

Yet.

For the love of mayonnaise, that was the only kind of stupid reply he could think of.

His options rotated from:

"She's beautiful, why wouldn't I date her?"

"She's sexy and young, why not?"

"Have you seen how big those %%%% are?"

Hijikata was seriously considering seppuku right now.

Where the hell was Follow-Kata Toshi-Follow when his very self needed him the most?

Hijikata cleared his throat.

"Well, you see Kondo-san, Chi-ah! I mean K-Kagura is a very n-nice girl. And-!"

"Toshi!" Kondo-san shouted again, this time, he was glaring at Hijikata, "answer me honestly."

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed.

Sighing, he gave in and let the words flow from his mouth..

"I know Kagura and I have an age difference, but our feelings can't be helped. She is an amazing woman and warrior with the heart of a true samurai. I want to fight along side her not only in battles but also through life."

Hijikata felt like cutting his tongue off.

This was one of the most sappiest thing's that's ever left his mouth.

Thank goodness for that one night his favorite show got replaced by a romantic drama, and he had no choice but to watch it.

That's when Hijikata heard the sniff.

To the Vice-chief's shock, Kondo-san was crying.

"Toshi! That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard! I support you and China, fully!" and next thing Hijikata knew, he had a sobbing gorilla hugging him and dribbling snot all over his shoulder.

The situation got worse when a group of Shinsengumi members heard the commotion and decided to open the Chief's door.

The news, of the Vice-chief cheating on his hot girlfriend with a gorilla, instantly spread throughout the compound like wildfire.

Damn.

Five o'clock couldn't come any faster.

* * *

Kagura fidgeted in her seat.

She had been waiting, at the restaurant Hijikata told her about, for only five minutes, but, she couldn't help feeling nervous.

It was a place she had never been to before, but she couldn't be too sure that anyone she knew would suddenly walk in through the doors.

She couldn't face her friends with news of her new 'boyfriend' yet.

Kagura had felt pretty guilty when Hijikata had to face the music like that, almost instantly after he agreed to 'date' her.

"Oh you're here already, sorry for making you wait." A voice came.

There he was, her 'boyfriend'.

Hijikata sat across from her.

His jacket looked like it had been wet just recently and he had on a very pissed off expression.

"You look like hell." Kagura commented.

An annoyed knot appeared on his forehead.

"Nice to see you too, Honey." Hijikata growled.

"First thing's first, can we drop the Honey and Darling?" Kagura said, remembering why they were there in the first place, "I heard Gin-chan and Tsukki use that for each other and if we use it, it makes me feel old like them."

"Fine." Hijikata agreed, he found the terms of endearment pretty embarassing to say anyway.

"What do we call each other then?" He asked.

"I don't see a problem with just calling each other by our first names." Kagura told him.

"That might not be convincing enough though, especially if we deal with skeptical jerks like your boss or the smart one with the glasses." Hijikata said.

He was pretty sure that, after the shock and murder attempts stopped, people would immediately question the genuineness of their relationship.

"Ah yeah, I didn't think of that." Kagura said.

The two thought long and hard.

Some of the 'names' they came up with were too embarrassing to say, some were just plain cheesy and the others were too bland.

Kagura had demanded that he just call her Kagura and, after she threatened to call him d*#k-face, he gave in.

Now it was Hijikata's turn to go through the ones Kagura thought up.

* * *

They had been at it for a while now.

Mainly because the first few names were all about mayonnaise and, after 'Mayo-tan', Hijikata had stepped in and forced Kagura to forget about mayonnaise altogether and think of normal ones.

At some point, Hijikata had started smoking a cigarette and Kagura had ordered her third meal set.

"You've been though baby, babe, boo, love, sweetie, cupcake, sugar, cutie, cuddle bear, dear, heart, muffin, Bob, Ossan, B*#ch, Free food guy- what the hell were you thinking with these last ones, China!?" Hijikata growled.

"Well you finished all the normal ones I thought of, stop being so picky, b$*ch." Kagura told him whilst chewing her food.

"Who are you calling a b*$ch!? Plus, do I really match any of those normal names you came up with?" Hijikata asked, annoyed.

Kagura looked at him, a blush crept up her cheeks.

She would rather go on a diet than call him babe, boo, love etc.

"F-fine! Then what do you want to be called?" Kagura stammered, avoiding his eyes.

Hijikata sighed.

"Call me Toshirou." he too avoided looking at her.

"No thanks, Can I stick to Mayo-tan?" Kagura asked, shoving another spoonful of food into her mouth.

"Like hell you can!" Hijikata growled.

Kagura put down her fork.

"Fine, then what about T-Toshi-san?" She asked in a small voice.

Hijikata chocked on his cigarette.

Damn, those eyes were boring into his again.

"U-uh yeah, that's o-okay." The blush creeped onto both of their faces.

"Then it's decided, T-Toshi-san." Kagura said.

"Yeah, K-Kagura." Hijikata confirmed.

They sighed, glad that this part was over.

Now they just had to come up with the back story of how they became a couple, proper dates and details of special moments and then come up with a good way to tell the one's they knew that they were a couple.

Great, They simultaneously thought.

Hijikata lit another cigarette while Kagura ordered her fourth helping.

They would be here a while.

* * *

It had gotten pretty dark outside.

The last customers were finally leaving the restaurant.

A couple that had stayed there for hours.

"Please come again!" The waitress said after them.

She was all too glad to get rid of them.

The kitchen was almost out of food just from the girl's orders, and the restaurant was starting to have a lasting smoke cloud, from all the cigarettes the guy went through.

They were a very good looking couple, though.

The man was the very definition of tall, dark and handsome.

The girl looked like a model, with great curves and an almost otherworldly beauty about her.

The waitress felt envious.

That is until she saw the guy try to put his arm around the girl's waist and the girl responding by giving him a drop kick.

"Never mind." She said, rushing back inside to try and act like she saw nothing.

* * *

"I never took you for a pervert, mayora!" Kagura yelled at the man she just took down.

Hijikata slowly got up.

"Dammit, I was just playing along to this boyfriend thing. Like I'd purposely do perverted things to you, brat!" Hijikata growled.

Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, he spotted a group of people walking towards them from the opposite direction.

Kagura was instantly at his side. She grabbed his arm and wrapped it around herself.

"kya, Toshi-san, You're too funny!" and, to Hijikata's shock and annoyance, she let out a very high pitched fake laugh.

The people passed by them without incident.

"What the hell was that?!" Hijikata asked, "I think you damaged my eardrums."

"Shut up! I was just mimicking how the other girls act with their boyfriends." Kagura told him while she unattached his arm from her waist.

Hijikata sighed.

"Just act like yourself, minus the insults and rude language. If you suddenly act all disgusting and girly, it would make people suspect our relationship." he told her.

Kagura looked at him, confused.

"But if I act like myself with you, it doesn't look couple-like." She said.

"Well we're not like other couples, aren't we?" Hijikata said, then, to Kagura's surprise, he held out a hand to her, "this should be okay right? Kagura."

Kagura smiled, the idiot vice-chief may be hiding his face from her right now but she knew he meant well.

"Yeah." she replied and took his hand.

This wasn't so bad.

She had a plan, a fake boyfriend she could rely on, and they were ready for their couple debut.

And with that, they walked back, hand in hand.

* * *

It started out with a date to the family restaurant, that almost everyone Kagura knew frequented.

That time, only Kyubei and Otae met them there and found out of their couple status.

The day after that, Shinpachi had barged into the Yorozuya with questions about it, after hearing the news from his sister.

Gintoki had intervened in the glasses' freak out, only to freak out himself when he realized what Shinpachi was freaking out about.

Kagura had knocked them both out the moment they tried to grab their wooden swords and go outside.

Hijikata arrived later, when they had gained back consciousness, and Kagura threatened to go live with him if the two freaked out any further. This freaked them out in a different way and they immediately acted like they were okay with the new relationship, in an attempt to keep the girl under their roof.

Kagura had then took Hijikata downstairs to tell Otose-san and the others.

During that time, Sa-chan had fallen out of the ceiling whilst exclaiming about how a no sex appeal brat got a boyfriend before her and what not.

The next day, they spent it walking around Edo on another 'date'.

A 'priest' with long hair and a creepy looking assistant passed by them and almost tripped when he saw his leader-ah! He meant the random girl with the Shinsengumi vice-chief.

Hijikata had thrown a few coins into the can Madao was holding up in the street and the man immediately approved of the new boyfriend.

The 'couple' then met Tsukuyo and the others when Kagura took Hijikata down to Yoshiwara.

They had rushed out of there when Hinowa had started talking about the more 'adult' aspects of a relationship to Kagura and asking if she needed 'the talk'.

By the time Kagura had 'randomly encountered' almost all the people she cared to tell about their relationship, the two were exhausted.

"Just how many more weirdos do you need to 'bump into' while we're coincidentally on a date?" Hijikata asked, while searching his pockets for his handy mayonnaise bottle.

They were resting at the usual dango shop, having a well-earned snack.

"Well no one else really. I don't need to tell Papi anything, since this is fake anyway and will be done by the time the letter reaches that baldy." Kagura said as she munched on a dango.

"Oy, how are you so sure that this will be done anytime soon, huh? I'm pretty sure your crush is still missing right now." Hijikata growled. He shoved a mayonnaise draped dango into his mouth.

* * *

Sougo had not been seen ever since the day they had started 'the plan'.

Kagura had been worrying about it non stop.

What was the point of all this if the sadist wasn't even around to see it?

Maybe this 'relationship' disgusted him so much that he left Edo.

Hijikata noticed the look on her face.

"Geez, stop worrying about that idiot. He will show up again in no time." Hijikata told her, "He's probably sulking about losing to me or something."

Honestly, Hijikata didn't believe anything he was saying either.

What the hell was going on in Sougo's head?

Normally, when you see the girl you like with another guy, you'd try to win her over from the guy she's with. But that idiot pulled a disappearing act instead.

Maybe he was trying to come into terms with his feelings for China.

At least that's what Hijikata hoped.

There was a possibility that the sadist was somewhere, currently planning Hijikata's murder.

* * *

A few days passed and, by then, all of Edo was well aware that the demon vice-chief and the Yorozuya amanto girl were a couple.

Kagura had avoided Gin-chan and Shinpachi as much as she could since then.

They were trying to act like nothing was different but Kagura kept catching them, whenever she went to visit her 'boyfriend', trying to sneak into the Shinsengumi compound with an assassination plan and what not.

In their eyes, Kagura was still the innocent, naive and childish fourteen year old and it was the creepy mayonnaise bastard that had seduced her, with sukonbu they assumed.

"That loli-con! I knew something was weird about him when I met that V-hair!" Kagura heard Gintoki yell.

She was napping in her closet when the two came back to the Yorozuya, shouting at the top of their lungs.

"First, the gorilla goes after my sister, now that pedophile takes Kagura-chan, Unforgivable!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"Don't forget Jimmy going after Tama." Gin said.

"We must protect the women close to the Yorozuya from those Shinsengumi dogs!" Shinpachi declared.

"Let's go give those tax-robbers a piece of our minds!" Gintoki shouted.

Kagura immediately shoved her closet door open.

She blinked a few times.

She had expected to see Gin with lake toya and Shinpachi with high blood pressure, on their way out to go to the Shinsengumi compound.

Instead, she found two idiots, right outside her closet, faking the whole conversation.

"G-Good evening." She greeted before attempting to close the door on their faces.

"Not so fast!" Gintoki yelled, catching the door.

"Oy don't you know it's rude to force yourself into a girl's room!?" Kagura growled, trying to shove Gintoki away.

"This is a closet though." Shinpachi commented, he too was helping Gin keep the door open.

"Gyaah! Stop it, Kagura!" Gintoki shouted, she had began pulling at his hair.

"Go bald, you damn snoop!" Kagura yelled back.

"Kagura-chan, we just want to talk!" Shinpachi pleaded.

"Shut up, Glasses!" Kagura replied.

They continued like this for a bit until Gintoki got tired of it.

"Enough!" Gin yelled. In one swing of Lake Toya, he destroyed the door, leaving no barrier between Kagura and the two.

"Gin-san, you do know we gotta pay to repair this, right?" Shinpachi asked.

"Shut up, glasses! Don't remind me!" Gin shrieked.

They then turned to Kagura, whom tried to hide behind her pillow.

"Oy, just what exactly is going on?" Gin asked.

"We know there's a reason why you're 'dating' Hijikata-san, Kagura-chan." Shinpachi added.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Kagura said from behind her pillow.

Gin 'Tch!'-ed and grabbed the pillow from her.

He looked at his sort of daughter straight in the eye.

"Tell us the truth." Gin demanded.

Kagura froze.

She ddin't know what to do.

She trusted Gin-chan and Shinpachi with her life, but her love life was a different matter.

Just as she was about to make a run for it, Hijikata , surprisingly, barged in.

"Don't bother, China. You should just tell them already. I think we need their help." Hijikata said.

Kagura stared at him, speechless.

Hijikata sighed.

"Sougo just came back. It's not good." He announced.

* * *

 **What did you guys think of the pet names the 'couple' thought of? I wasn't sure what to use, I'd be glad to hear what you think they would most likely use for each other \^+^/**

 **Also, anyone know why Gintama chapter 619 isn't out yet?**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Heads up, It's 5 am right now and I just finished getting out 6k words of story from my brain. I might come off as weird, bored or something when I reply to the following reviews, sorry.  
**

 **Guest: Thanks ^_^ . Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's Sougo-centric.**

 **b0177: mwahaha I got you infected with the HijiKagu *_*.**

 **Hellooo: haha yay i infected you with HijiKagu too, lol I feel evil. Also, This is a Sougo-centric chapter so don't worry ^_^.**

 **Guest: here ya go, what happened to Sougo.**

 **darkjeane: yay thanks! I waited and got rewarded with a new chapter in the manga! and yeah i liked Toushirou too but...i may be too lazy to type that all the time in the story mwahaha. Also thanks! ^_^ glad you liked the previous chapter!**

 **Guest: thanks! and mwahaha I love cliff hangers...when I'm the one making them that is.**

 **XTataraX: yes! you're the third person I injected with HijiKagu! mwahah. ^_^ here you go! enjoy!**

 **Yukinotomoe1: aw thanks. The HijiKagu story, believe it or not, was actually the first real story I actually finished. I guess it was like a test phase since i basically used different writing styles in like every chapter there lol. Glad I improved, thanks for noticing ^_^. Also, IKR? HijiKagu can be cute. Yeah I admit Kondo is not a serious character but He is serious when it comes to his idiot little brothers, Hijikata and Sougo, that's why I made him a bit serious since they had such a serious fight. Don't worry, he will be the butt of jokes again later mwaha.**

 **Koukaz:Thanks! and aw sorry for the cliffhanger...not really mwahaha. Well you'd be glad to know that this chapter is all about Sougo.**

 **Kasmindag5: Thanks! aw don't worry, Sougo is all over this new chapter ^_^.**

 **liljanii: haha glad you liked the Hijikagu, just wait...Okita is still being an idiot lol.**

 **Currently-addicted-to-OkiKagu: HI! you're here too I see ^_^. How's your lost phone situation? sorry about that. and thanks! glad you like the story so far! ^_^ here you go, new chapter!**

 **Guest: thanks! and your wait is over!**

 *****So this chapter is all about what Sougo's been up to while the whole HijiKagu 'couple' were setting up. For some reason, I feel like this chapter is lacking or something. I'm sorry If it's not as good, I'd appreciate criticisms for improvements. Maybe it's the grammar? I'm currently learning Japanese at my uni so my english is getting weird recently since school started again. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this one!**

* * *

After the confrontation with the new 'couple' Sougo had found himself wandering right out of the city.

He had no plans whatsoever about where he'd go or what he was going to do, he just needed to get as far away as he could from all this.

It was too much.

He didn't know why he thought this, nor why he reacted like he did, it just felt...wrong.

"Dammit!" Sougo growled. His wounds not only hurt like hell but he was also getting light headed from the blood loss.

He steadied himself against a tree.

From the way he had been climbing uphill for a while now, Sougo guessed he was heading towards the mountains on the outskirts of Edo.

"Stupid China, Stupid Hijikata, damn them all." Sougo muttered as he forced himself to take another step.

He was done with them.

He didn't want to think about them anymore.

"Let them do what they please. It's none of my business." Sougo mumbled.

Was it just his imagination or were the trees starting to spin?

Great, Sougo thought, as if things couldn't get worse, he was going to faint in a forest, whilst in a very vulnerable state.

"D-dammit." He whispered.

Soon, his vision blurred and darkness overwhelmed him.

"What the hell was that for, crazy woman?!"

The sudden scream jolted Sougo awake.

He instantly tried to get up, only to find his movements restricted by the bandages wrapped all over him.

Who did these?

Where was he?

"Say that again, bastard!" another shout came.

"Aah! Let go, dammit! My scalp is gonna rip off!" a different voice replied.

"I'll rip off your b$#ls next!" the previous one returned.

Sougo immediately looked around for his sword.

He was in an unfamiliar environment, injured and with some very violent sounding people.

There! He spotted his katana on top of a pile of what appeared to be his Shinsengumi uniform set.

Wait, what was he wearing then?

He cautiously lifted the blanket on top of him.

"Oh." Sougo let out.

Aside from the bandages and a pair of old looking boxers, he was in quite a state of undress.

Also, whose boxers were these?

"Sh*t." Sougo muttered. Now he was wearing stranger's underwear.

Suddenly, he heard movement right outside the room he was curently in.

Seems like his 'hosts' realized he's awake.

The door slammed open to reveal two very wrinkly old faces, an old man and woman.

"Um, excuse me, You should have knocked first. I'm not proper right now." Sougo deadpanned.

"Ah! Sorry! That was very rude of us." The old man apologized. He closed the door gingerly.

Sougo stared at it for a few seconds.

"Like hell! This is my house, you brat!" The door banged open once again and the old man stormed back in.

"Oh, then I'll be going then. Sorry for the intrusion." Sougo said, about to stand up.

"Oooy!" The old lady yelled. She, surprisingly, ran towards Sougo and pushed him back down onto the futon.

"Idiot! You just recovered! I haven't even checked on you yet, today." She berated the blank faced captain.

"Sorry but I don't want to be groped by an old hag." Sougo told her.

"Ha! He called you an old hag!" The old man laughed.

"Oy, if you're gonna keep shouting around like this, get out and do something useful, bastard!" The old lady shouted at the old man.

"Shut up, old hag! I do what I want!" The old man replied.

Sougo watched, with a hint of surprise, as the old lady gave the old man a glare that caused him to instantly get up and scuttle towards the door.

The old man gave Sougo one last warning look before leaving.

"Hey baba, who was that old coot?" Sougo asked.

The old lady was currently checking on his bandages.

"Don't call me baba, brat! And that old coot was my husband." She told him.

Sougo's eyes widened slightly.

"Wow, Baba, You and the old the guy sure have some weird role play. I could have mistaken you two for enemies or something." Sougo said.

This made the old lady laugh.

"Yes, it does seem like we're enemies sometimes, doesn't it?" she reflected with a smile.

"Yeah that's what I said. Geez Baba, you're really losing it in the memory department, ey?" Sougo deadpanned.

This earned him a smack on the head.

"I'm still injured ya know." Sougo muttered whilst rubbing at the new bump.

"Be grateful it's only a light hit!" the old woman warned.

A short while later, After some shouting and forceful handling, Sougo found himself in a new set of bandages.

"Well, you've recovered plenty since you've been here. I guess that's youth for ya!" the old woman declared.

She got up and walked towards the door.

"If you think you can manage it, you can join us in the dining room for lunch. I can also bring a tray over if you want to stay in bed." she told Sougo, halfway out the door.

"I'm not hungry," Sougo said just as his stomach grumbled.

"Like hell you aren't!" the old woman growled.

Sougo then found himself literally being dragged, by the collar, to the dinning room.

"Hey Baba, this isn't how you treat a patient." Sougo said with a blank face.

"Shut up, brat!" the old woman replied.

As they arrived in the dinning room, they saw the old man already seated there.

"Hey brat, were you flirting with my wife?!" he asked Sougo.

"Stop saying bullsh*t, old man. Like I'd ever do that." Sougo told him.

"What? She's not attractive enough for ya? Is that it, brat?!" The old man growled, getting defensive.

"Oy, you sound like you actually wanted me to have flirted with your wife, Old perv." Sougo replied.

"Geez, stop it you two. Ah! What is a beautiful bombshell like me to do? With two men fighting over me like this!?" the old woman asked in a dramatic fashion.

"Like hell we're fighting over you, old hag!" Sougo and the old man chorused.

In an instant, the old woman struck.

Sougo loved himself, but not to the point where he would appreciate having the likeness of his face smashed onto the surface of the dining table.

The old man hadn't fared well either, he had chopsticks in places where chopsticks should never be.

Sougo almost wished he stayed in the city. But then again, he'd rather have his body hurt than have his mind messed with.

"So brat, why were you in the woods in the first place, all damaged like that?" The old man asked Sougo.

After the old woman had calmed down, they finally began lunch.

"It's Sougo, not brat. And it was nothing really. I just saw two disgusting people do something disgusting and I thought I'd leave the city for a while." Sougo told them in a dead pan tone.

"Did those two people inflict those injuries on you?" The old woman asked, genuinely concerned.

Sougo almost felt bad for saying it in such a bullsh*t way.

"Actually, those injuries were my fault. I picked a fight with one of them and got hurt." He said.

"Why'd you pick a fight for, idiot?" the old man asked.

Sougo flicked a pickle at him.

The old man flicked it back.

"Stop wasting food!" The old lady growled.

They stopped.

Since they did help him, Sougo felt like he owed the old couple a proper explanation at least.

"Well, that disgusting thing I told you about. It was finding out that those two were dating." Sougo admitted.

The old man let out a laugh.

"Ha! So basically you were just jealous, huh brat?" He asked after he was done.

Sougo flinched.

Him? Jealous of what?

"There you go again old man. Stop bullsh*ting. How can I be jealous of those two?" Sougo said.

"I didn't mean jealous of the both of them, idiot. You're jealous that the guy took the girl away from you!" The old man corrected Sougo.

Sougo choked on his food.

What the hell?

How could he be jealous of Hijikata, for China?!

This was China we're talking about here.

One would have to like a person first, to be jealous of the guy they date, and Sougo knew he hated China.

Wait, did he hate her?

"Ha! I knew it!" The old man cried in triumph at the look on Sougo's face.

"Aw, that's quite sweet. You ran away to the mountains because your heart was broken." The old lady commented.

"Hey old hag, just how the hell do you define 'sweet'? It's sad if you ask me. This little puppy ran away because he lost not only the girl but also the fight for the girl." The old man said while pointing his chopsticks at Sougo.

"Oy, who said anything about a girl? The two I'm talking about is a chain smoking bastard and a gluttonous pig. There's no way in hell I'm jealous or heart broken." Sougo growled at the old man.

The old man took note of the look on Sougo's face. Finally, the brat was showing some real emotion.

"Oh really? Because it makes sooo much sense to run away after finding out two people, that you don't give a damn about, are dating, right?" The old man teased Sougo.

"Well, thinking about it now. I actually came here to go hunting for a piss-ass-ugly orc, and here you are." Sougo replied, his face back to a dead pan expression.

"You damn brat!" The old man growled.

Lunch had become peaceful again after a while.

Sougo had been unconscious for two days.

Which explains why he had such a big appetite right now.

The old couple lived in a village in the mountains. The old man had a farm and the old lady was the sort-of doctor in the village.

The old woman, whilst out gathering medicinal herbs, had found Sougo half dead in the forest surrounding the mountain.

Her and her husband had then carried him all the way back to their home and had looked after him until now.

"Were you headed somewhere when you climbed up here?" the old woman asked Sougo as she gave him his fifth helping of rice.

"Not really. I was just wandering around." Sougo replied, his chopsticks quickly grabbed at the food on the table and placed them on top of the white grains.

"Hmm, those two you mentioned must have really affected you then, if you just went up here with no directions and full of Injuries. What was so bad about them dating anyway?" The old lady asked.

What was so bad abut them dating?

Sougo felt like there were so many things bad about it.

Yet, when he tried to list them out specifically, he couldn't come up with anything except 'it just is' and 'it's disgusting'.

With his chopsticks paused, Sougo answered, "It's just disgusting and unexpected."

The old couple looked at each other.

This boy had such vague reasoning.

"Why disgusting?" Baba asked.

"Well, the guy is a mayonnaise addicted bastard that acts tough but actually has a Shoujo manga collection hidden behind his sword case. The girl, if you can call her a girl, is an illegal immigrant amanto that has no manners whatsoever and has a black hole for a stomach." Sougo recited.

To his surprise, the couple laughed.

"What strange people!" The old lady commented in the midst of giggles.

"I knew you city folk were weird, but I didn't know you were that weird." The old man told Sougo.

"Well," The old woman started, the couple had calmed down from their laughing fit after being treated to a glare by Sougo, "If that's what you call unexpected, then that couple has nothing on us. We pretty much became the top gossip of the town when they found out we were together, right, Honey?"

"Yeah. It was a scandal that people around here talked about for years." The old man confirmed his wife's story.

"oh, why is that?" Sougo asked with a blatantly bored face.

"Act like you're interested at least, brat!" The old man hissed at him.

The old woman, having not noticed the exchange nor Sougo's expression, continued to reminisce.

"They never expected me and him to get together you know? We were always at each others throats. Everyone thought we hated each other." The old woman said.

This made her husband chuckle.

"Heck, we even thought we hated each other!" he said.

"Well we did used to fight all the time." The old lady told him.

"You two still do though." Sougo commented.

He dodged a flying pickle from the old man.

"We don't fight as much as back then. Every time we met, one of us would instantly start an argument, which usually became physical." The old lady continued.

"Hey Baba, please don't. My innocent ears don't want to hear about the nasty things adults do." Sougo chimed in.

"She didn't mean it like that, brat!" The old man growled.

The old woman ignored them and went on with her talk.

"the fighting went on for years, Until we both became adults. That was when I started to realize that I actually liked him. But he was such an idiot back then ("He still is." Sougo commented, He dodged another pickle thrown at him by the old man.). I had no choice but to take measures into my own hands and make him jealous." The old lady said.

Sougo's eyes sharpened.

For some reason, this peeked his interest.

He immediately stopped trying to fling some radish at the old man, and listened properly.

"How'd you do that?" Sougo inquired.

The old lady burst into a smile. She was delighted that the boy finally showed some interest in her story.

"Well, there was this boy in the village that he always fought with as well. I asked this boy to go with me to the village festival as my date." The old lady told Sougo, "The instant this idiot saw me with that boy, he got mad and confronted us. Next thing I knew, he had the boy on the ground and had me in his arms."

The old man smirked at this, "I remember that Honey, I said "She's mine to deal with!" and I have been dealing with you all these years." and the couple kissed, or at least tried to.

Sougo had thrown a piece of fish at the old man and it stuck right where his lips were.

"You damn, cock blocker!" The old man growled, throwing his chopsticks at Sougo.

"I don't want to see two old prunes kissing, I prefer to keep what I just ate in my stomach." Sougo deadpanned as he easily dodged the projectiles.

"Well, looks like lunch is over." the old woman declared.

She began clearing the table while the males threw left overs at each other.

After lunch was put away, Sougo had no idea what to do next.

He didn't feel like going back to lie down.

He also didn't want to help the old lady grind up some medicine.

There was only one other choice.

"Hey old man, need a hand?" Sougo called out to the old man in the field.

The farm was not exactly big, but, combined with the old lady's medical service, it was enough to sustain the couple's livelihood.

The old man winced at Sougo. He was out in the sun, planting some crops.

"You ever done this before?" He asked the young man.

"No, but if an old geezer like you can do it, I definitely can." Sougo replied.

"We'll see about that, brat! Come over here then, I'll make you earn your keep." The old man growled.

"Yeah, sure. Your blood pressure is rising." Sougo said.

The Old lady later found both of them yelling at the top of their lungs whilst cultivating the field like possessed monsters.

"Oy! You're still recovering, what the hell do you think you're doing!"The old lady shrieked at Sougo.

"And you! You can do this work by yourself, lazy bastard! Stop teasing the boy into doing things!" She yelled at her husband.

"I'm making him earn his stay! He'll need to work a few days to pay back all the medicine and food we've put into him!" The old man shouted at his wife.

"Stop making excuses! You just want to use him as free labor!" The old lady replied.

"I'm fine with it, Baba!" Sougo chimed in.

"Yeah, he's fine with it, Baba!" The old man repeated.

"Who are you idiots calling 'Baba'!?"

It was decided, Sougo would spend a few days at the farm, helping the old farmer plant the crops for the season, in payment for everything the couple has done for him.

Honestly, Sougo had no problem with this whatsoever.

He wasn't ready yet, to go back to the city.

Hiding out in the mountains for a bit was just the thing he needed to get back to his normal self.

Sougo had concluded that the weirdness of the Hijikata and China development had put him out of whack and that was why he reacted the way he did and why he lost the fight with Hijikata.

Of course, there were no feelings involved like jealousy or anything.

It was just the unexpectedness of the situation that threw him off guard and distracted him.

A few days away in the mountains should cure him.

Sougo would spend the days out in the field, planting crop after crop with the old man, while his nights consisted of dinner banter and stories told by the old woman about her and her husband's past antics.

Sougo would never admit it out loud but he actually enjoyed these stories.

They were usually about the most memorable fights and arguments that the couple had but, sometimes, they contained tales of the time after they had gotten together and all the problems they had to work through as couple.

One night, the old lady had told him about her and the old man's disastrous first date.

"It was really hard since we didn't really know how to interact with each other. Usually we'd be fighting by then but since we now knew we liked each other, we didn't know if that was appropriate." The old woman told Sougo.

The old man laughed, "The fact that you were being nice to me, actually scared me back then."

"We made so many mistakes on that first date that when it ended, we were seriously thinking about breaking up right then and there. That is until a bunch of thugs tried to con us on our way home and accused me of breaking one of their arms when I bumped into them." The old lady said.

"Those guys were unlucky though, if it were any other normal couple, they would have gotten away with it. But we're no normal couple, right honey?" The old man asked.

The old lady nodded, "After we were done with those thugs, they were just a bunch of brats crying for their mothers. That's when we realized that yes, it was different now, but we can still fight. The only difference is, we can also fight together as a team."

"And we've been the best team since!" The old man declared.

The couple were just about to kiss when they noticed Sougo putting his hand up.

They blinked at him.

"Um, excuse me. Sorry I fell asleep. Could you rewind a bit?" Sougo asked with a blank face.

"You damn brat!" The old man shouted.

A few days had passed since then.

Sougo would snark and comment less and less on the stories the old woman told.

The couple noticed the night before that he actually paid attention the whole time, when the old woman told another story.

Sougo had also stopped talking back to the old man every chance he got, when they worked together on the field.

He even asked the old man for advice once, on whether or not he was planting a certain crop right.

The old lady was thrilled.

Maybe the young man was finally becoming serious and less immature.

She had intended from the start to influence him with her stories, so that he'd get a clue as to why he ran away from the situation that lead him to them in the first place.

Her and her husband had discussed it and had concluded that the young idiot was obviously harboring some type of feelings for the girl who was dating that mayonnaise guy.

Maybe, just maybe, the hints in her stories would help Sougo piece it together.

"Hey Baba, don't push yourself." Sougo told the old woman one night.

She had tripped during one of her herb gatherings and was currently sporting a sprained ankle.

Sougo, to her shock, had helped her prepare dinner.

He actually did most of the work.

"Thank you." The old woman told him as he finished placing everything on the dinning table.

"No problem. By the way, this is the old man's portion right? do you have any Tabasco sauce?" Sougo asked.

The old lady sighed, just when she thought he had matured a bit too.

When the old man arrived, they proceeded to eat dinner.

After an argument about who spiked his food with Tabasco sauce, the old man helped his wife to their room.

The old woman had to take medicine for her ankle after every meal and it made her drowsy.

She was going to rest tonight, which meant Sougo wouldn't get a story.

He would never admit it but Sougo was actually kind of disappointed.

That is until the old man came and called him to their room.

Sougo would have commented something inappropriate by now, about a young man being invited into a couple's bedroom, but for some reason, he just didn't feel like it.

"I'm sorry that I can't tell a story tonight, Sougo." The old woman told him as he entered the room.

She was laying on a futon, barely keeping her eyes open.

"It's okay, I don't really mind." Sougo told her.

"Well, I was thinking, even though I can't tell a story, it doesn't mean that a story can't be told tonight. Why don't you tell us something?" The old woman suggested.

Sougo thought about it.

He did live a pretty interesting life but for some reason, he didn't want the couple to know he was the infamous blood stained first captain of the Shinsengumi.

"I don't really know what you want to hear." Sougo told the old woman.

"Hmm, do you have a girlfriend?is there anyone you like?you can tell us about them." The old woman suggested, trying to look like she just casually came up with it.

Unnoticed by Sougo, the old man was making frantic gestures to his wife to remember to act sleepy.

"No, no one like that." Sougo answered the old woman. The couple looked on in surprise as they noticed that he didn't have his usual blank face on, instead, he actually looked serious.

"Uh then what about someone you always fight or argue with?" the old woman inquired.

Sougo's eyes widened.

"Well, there's China." He told them.

"China?is that a girl?" The old man asked.

"If you can call the brat a girl." Sougo commented.

The old woman immediately recalled their past conversation.

Sougo had said something similar about the girl that was dating that mayonnaise guy.

"Could this be the same girl that's now dating the mayonnaise addicted man?" The old woman inquired.

The change in Sougo's expression was evident.

"Yeah. That's her." He confirmed.

The old woman sighed, Sougo looked so confused.

"You fought with her a lot?" She asked him.

"Yeah, all the time. It's fun messing with her." He replied and, to the couple's surprise, he smiled.

Sougo then proceeded to tell them about the arguments and fights he's had with this 'China'.

The couple could clearly see how happy he looked when he talked about her.

Of course, he was talking about how he basically pranked, annoyed and caused her mental and physical damage, but they were trying to see the bright side here.

Sougo, on the other hand, was quite surprised with himself.

He didn't think he'd remember so much encounters with China. He could practically go on and on about them.

"You two seem to get along really well." The old man commented after Sougo told them of the time, when he was younger, that he and China had competed in a shooting booth at a festival.

"Yeah right, and you seem very young." Sougo retorted.

"Don't talk about my age, brat! And I'm serious, it's rare to find someone you can fight with countless of times and still have them around after years pass." The old man told Sougo.

"Yeah well I don't give a damn about her." Sougo snapped.

The old man stared intently at Sougo.

"You sure about that, brat? You gonna give her up that easily to this mayonnaise bastard?" he asked the young man.

Sougo glared at him but stayed silent.

He got up slowly and left the room.

All traces of the smile he had were gone.

Back in his own room, Sougo couldn't fall asleep.

He laid on the futton, staring at the ceiling.

It had been days since he's thought about China, Hijikata and all this dating business.

Now, thanks to those damn old prunes, they were back on his mind.

Sougo admited that he may or may not have been avoiding thinking about them the whole time.

He just hated all the weird and new feelings it brought out in him.

There was no reason for him to feel this angry about China and Hijikata.

There was also no reason for him to feel annoyed either.

Or disgusted.

Or betrayed.

Or sad.

Or hurt.

None of it made sense.

He didn't give a damn about them, he shouldn't be feeling like this.

But what if he did give a damn?

What if he did care about it?

What if he did care about her-

No! he didn't. There was no way.

He HATED China.

She was his annoying rival, that's all.

He was just angry that Hijikata might ruin that for him by dating her.

He could find another rival anytime.

Sougo let out a yawn.

He could find a rival, yes.

But...could he find another China?

With thoughts of Kagura in his mind, Sougo finally fell asleep.

BOOM!

Sougo sprung up from the futon.

What just happened?

Were the old geezers okay?

BOOM!

It happened again.

Sougo sighed.

"It's just thunder." he muttered.

Yet, he was already halfway to the old couple's room.

Damn, why was he worried about a pair of fossils?

Sougo was just about to slide their door open when it slammed open by itself.

Correction, the old man had slammed it open.

"Ah! It's you! What's wrong? Got scared of the storm, brat?" The old man greeted Sougo.

"Yeah right. I came to check if you guys got scared by the thunder and had a heart attack or something." Sougo replied.

The old man huffed, he was holding a lantern in one hand.

"That come back was weak, brat."

"Cut me some slack, I just woke up." Sougo replied.

The two went around the house together, checking for leaks and what not.

Sougo helped place some buckets in the dinning room, where they discovered a puddle.

"Hey old man, you look worried, something wrong?" Sougo asked, noticing the old man's creased brow.

"It's raining too much. The crops will either drown or be uprooted." The old man told Sougo.

Sougo's eyes widened.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Sougo asked, already on his way to the door that lead outside.

"Stop, the storm is too big. The rain is pouring can't keep up with it even if we tried to." The old man said, he held Sougo by the shoulder.

"Whatever, Old man. You can stay here, I'll go by myself." Sougo told him, shaking off the old man's hand.

Sougo headed into the storm.

With the tools he had grown accustomed to for the passed few days, Sougo worked on trying to save the crops.

"Come back inside, idiot! You'll get sick for nothing! The crops are done for, I'll just plant new ones!" The old man's voice came over the noise of the storm.

Sougo spotted him standing at the edge of the field, wearing a raincoat.

"You go back inside, old man! I'm not giving up!" Sougo shouted back at him.

"This isn't a shounen manga! Not knowing when to give up will just get you in trouble!" The old man replied.

The wind made it painfully cold and unbearable and the constant lightning strikes looked highly dangerous.

Sougo was soaked from head to toe, by now.

The ground beneath him was pretty much mud, yet he still kept going at it with a hoe.

"Look old man, It has been a pain in the ass planting all these for days! I won't let some rain stop what I've been working on from growing!" Sougo shouted.

Lightning struck across the sky.

Sougo dropped the hoe.

He just had a sudden realization.

Next thing he knew, he was shouting into the heavens about a 'damn mayonnaise bastard' and, like a monster, he grabbed the fallen hoe and began trying to save the field manically.

"What was that yelling I heard?"

The old man turned around to find his wife walking towards him in a raincoat.

"Oh hey, Honey. That was nothing. Just an idiot realizing he's in love and deciding he's gonna put up a fight." the old man told his wife.

"Really?" The old lady asked, delighted. She totally forgot to act like her ankle was sprained.

"I dunno what you're talking about old man!" Sougo yelled at them, he apparently heard their conversation, "Its just that," Sougo continued, with the stormy background, his speech couldn't look more dramatic, " Ive been working for a long time (years) on cultivating these damn crops (his relationship with China) and I'm not gonna let some stupid rain (Hijikata) take away my precious work (China) just like that!"

"Aargh! You've got me all fired up, brat!" The old man yelled.

Next thing Sougo knew, the old man was right next to him, also going at the field like a demon.

"Wait for me, darling!" The old woman shouted.

If anyone were to pass by the farm at that moment, they would see three figures, hacking and planting manically on the field whilst shouting at the top of their lungs at the heavens.

After a while, the old man noticed that the amount of rain water on the field was subsiding.

"We did it!" He exclaimed.

To their surprise, Sougo started laughing.

The couple shrugged and joined in and soon the sound of laughter mingled with the roar of the storm.

"Stupid China, she's so idiotic and ugly!" Sougo suddenly said in the midst of the laughter.

The couple's mouths fell open in shock.

Sougo was holding a potato and he was talking to it.

"Why did It have to be that idiot? What's wrong with me? I like that brat? But she looks like this potato."

The old woman started to panic.

"Honey, He's delirious! He probably has a fever from being out in this storm!" The old woman told her husband.

"Oy brat! This is enough, let's go back insi-!" But the old man didn't get to finish.

Sougo had promptly fainted after he told the potato that he did not find her cute at all.

Sougo woke up the next morning, dry and healthy again.

"Amazing what the power of love can do for ya, huh brat?" The old man asked Sougo.

They were eating breakfast in Sougo's room since the dinning room was still wet from the leaking last night.

The couple were in awe at Sougo's fast recovery from his fever.

"I'm just that good at medicinal herbs, darling." The old woman said.

"Maybe that too. He's also young." The old man added.

"How's the crops?" Sougo asked.

The couple smiled at him.

"Thanks to you, most of them are fine!" The old man told Sougo.

Sougo smirked.

"Does this mean I paid my debt in full, old man?" He asked.

"Yeah yeah, Now get out and leave me and my wife in peace, brat!" The old man replied.

"Don't you dare kick him out!" said wife screamed at him.

Sougo smiled.

In truth, he had decided last night to go back to the city.

He knew what he wanted and what he needed to do now.

"You're going even if I don't kick you out, right?" The old man asked, seeming to have read his thoughts.

Sougo sighed, "Yeah. I want to go back as soon as possible."

"You gonna go get her back?" The old man inquired further.

Sougo stood up, it had been a while but he was finally back in his Shinsengumi uniform.

He attached his sword to his waist.

"What do you think?" Sougo asked the old man.

After breakfast, Sougo was leaving.

"Here." The old lady said as she handed Sougo a bag.

The first captain looked surprised but took it anyway.

"I packed you some of the stuff we grew, some bread I made, medicinal herb tea in case the cold comes back, and those pickles you like so much." The old lady said.

The old man burst out laughing.

The pickles she meant were the ones that Sougo and him usually threw at each other at the dinner table when she wasn't looking.

"Hey Old man, be careful. You look like you're having a fit." Sougo commented.

He dodged a smack aimed at him, easily.

"You better fix that attitude of yours, brat. That girl will never stick with you if you talk like that to her." The old man adviced.

Sougo almost laughed.

"That girl you're talking about, has a worse mouth than me." He told the old man.

"Ah, a match made in hell then." The old man commented.

He dodged a poke from Sougo, but stumbled a bit.

The old woman watched their shenanigans.

Her and her husband hadn't been able to have children but, thanks to Sougo, they finally experienced what it was like to have a son, even if it was just for a few days.

She was quite sure too, given her and her husband's personalities, that if they had gotten a son, he'd turn out just like Sougo.

Now, she was finding it hard to say goodbye.

"Oh, Honey, are you gonna cry? You that happy that the brat's finally leaving?" Her husband asked, noticing her watery eyes.

"You idiot! Why would I be happy that he's leaving? It's gonna be boring again with only you and me, damn geezer!" The old woman half shouted, half cried.

The tears had began to flow.

"Quick, get out of here before she appeals to your conscience!" The old man hissed at Sougo.

"Sorry, but I don't have such a thing anyway." Sougo informed him.

With that, Sougo began walking away.

The old man, whilst hugging his wife, watched him go.

He would never admit it but he was really gonna miss the brat.

It was like having a son.

A sadistic, rude, evil son but a son nonetheless.

Just when they assumed he was gone, Sougo's voice came.

"Thank you."

The couple looked on in shock at the sight before them.

Sougo was standing there, his head bowed.

"I'm grateful for everything you've done for me these passed few days."

and just as suddenly as it happened, it was over.

Sougo was once again, upright and walking away from them.

He paused only for a moment.

"If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to come back here some time." He said.

The couple instantly burst into tears.

"Of course you damn brat! I could use the free labor!" The old man sobbed.

"We'll keep your room clean until you do!" The old woman told him through her tears.

"Like hell I am. I was just kidding." Sougo said, turning around so they could see his deadpan expression.

The couple's tears immediately stopped. They didn't know whether to kill the brat or to run into the house and hide their embarrassment.

Sougo sighed.

"Unfortunately, you guys gave me this bag, so I gotta return sometime to give it back." Sougo said.

It took a moment for the couple to interpret what he just said.

"You damn brat! Forget what I said earlier! Never come back!" The old man yelled.

"He means don't come back alone!" The old lady said.

Sougo paused in his steps.

"That's right you brat, you better be with that girl when you come back!" The old man shouted.

The captain smiled.

"Yeah, I will." Sougo said.

With that, he didn't turn back anymore.

After walking a bit, Sougo found himself at the edge of the forest.

He had finally caught sight of the city.

"I'm coming for you, China."

* * *

 **Aaah! the second episode of Gintama 2017 is so Aaahh! I love the 'men that fought with Shinsuke in the Joui war' . They were so amazing. Also, aw Kagura is just the most precious kid ever! And lol Kamui is missing ahahaha.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: SolitaryGray: aw thanks! I just felt like Sougo deserved his own side story. Glad you liked it!**

 **Yukunotomoe1: actually, you're half right, I'm filipino but I live in Japan right now \^_^/ haha! glad you liked the previous chapter, I had fun creating the old couple, and don't spoil the new gintama episode yet! I haven't had the time to watch it...i was planning to do it tonight but instead I finished this chapter :/ haha. hope you enjoy this as well.**

 **garugadot: aw thanks! that's such an honor to be told a chapter is gintama-like T_T so happy. hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **ALyn Pid:haha the wait is over, here ya go! Let's party!**

 **Tales: yes! I was thinking that people needed a break from the drama and glad it paid off, hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 **RegiKa: aw thanks! and NOOOO kamui is a bad Onii-chan! bad bad bad! T_T how dare he make Kagura cry so much?..kidding, I might write a fic with him one day after I've gotten a better feel of his character..right now I just see him as jerk that makes precious Kagura sad too much.**

 **Koukaz:awww kyaaa..shucks! now I'm blushing, thanks ^_^. It was so much fun making that old couple. haha well here you are, hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Currently-addicted-to-OkiKagu: glad you got your phone back!and happy you liked the previous chapter! i loved writing the old couple and might bring them back sometime in this fic, anyway, hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 **liljanii: haha i love how you used amazeballs! \^_^/yay, hope you enjoy this one too.**

 *****This chapter finally has both parties meet again. I am aware there might be a few out of characterness in a certain character here but its something I'm working with where I give them a certain characteristic when they are off or on a substance, like how in canon, Tsukki gets crazy when she drinks alcohol. So please bear with it. If you think it doesn't work, please say so. I appreciate criticisms. It's the only way I can improve \^_^/ . Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

When Hijikata had barged in looking panicked, Kagura had expected the worst, especially since it involved the sadist.

Had something happened to him?

Was he okay?

Had he done something crazy?

She had felt all kinds of negative emotions then.

She was worried, sad, guilty, fearful and angry, all at the same time.

Why did the guy she liked, have to be such an idiot?

"Hijikata-san, what happened?" Shinpachi asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Bastard, don't just barge into someone's home like that!" Gintoki muttered.

Hijikata was out of breath, after running here all the way from headquarters.

All he could do was pant at them.

"U-um, you should sit down," Kagura managed to say, despite her nervousness.

She lead her fake boyfriend to the couch.

Shinpachi, being a good host, fetched him some water.

Hijikata took a good long drink.

Kagura watched him in anticipation, fidgeting in her seat.

"Well?" She burst as soon as he put down the glass.

Hijikata took a deep breath.

"Last night, Sougo showed up at headquarters. It was horrible."

Gintoki noticed Kagura going tense.

"Something wrong?" He asked her.

The girl just shook her head without looking at him.

Something was definitely up with his brat.

"Well what's so bad about Sofa-kun returning, huh? You've been going on and on about that since you got here, but you haven't said one word about what exactly makes it bad. Geez, stop the dramatic talk and just tell us." Gintoki growled at Hijikata.

"I was just getting to that, bastard!" Hijikata yelled.

His entire body was shaking.

Not only that, he was sweating uncontrollably as well.

Kagura stared at him in shock.

What exactly happened with the sadist's return?

Hijikata clenched his fists, "Sougo, that bastard, he...he got the entire shinsengumi to sign a petition and now I'm forced to have an intervention about my smoking."

The vice chief sighed, it felt good to get that off his chest.

He watched the three Yorozuya members.

They were uncharacteristically silent.

Good, they found it just as shocking as he did.

It was nice to know that he still had allies here.

"Hijikata-san..." Shinpachi started.

In an instant, all three of the yorozuya were stomping on the Hijikata.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE PANIKING ABOUT?!" They yelled as they continued to cover him in their foot prints.

After a while, the three had calmed down and Hijikata had dragged his beaten body back onto the couch.

He cleared his throat.

"Oh right, I forgot to mention, that bastard also put, in tiny writing so that the men couldn't read, a part that said something about me being removed as the vice-chief, if they signed the petition."

All three of the yorozuya members' mouths fell open in shock.

"You should have said that earlier, idiot!" Kagura shouted, she grabbed his collar and started shaking him. Not only was her crush an idiot, but her fake boyfriend was one too.

"Hijikata-san, get your priorities straight, dammit!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"You tobacco addicted bastard! I hope you do get removed as the vice-chief!" Gintoki yelled.

Hijikata yanked himself away from Kagura's grip.

"You guys don't get it! I have been getting 'confessions' from members about what they feel about my smoking since last night. I haven't slept or smoked since then. I finally managed to sneak off and come here but I know they'll find me soon. I-I have to attend a presentation by Kondo-san about the harms smoking does to my body, as if the pictures of disgusting lungs and teeth on cigarette boxes aren't enough, dammit!" Hijikata ranted.

Kagura almost face palmed.

So that's the reason why he was shaking and sweating, the idiot was having a tobacco withdrawal.

"Wait Hijikata-san, let me get this straight: the first thing Okita-san did, when he got back, was to try and take your smoking and position in the Shinsengumi away from you?" Shinpachi asked the mess of a man in front of him.

Hijikata nodded, he began to feel around in his sleeves.

Dammit.

He had forgotten, the men had stripped him of all the cigarettes he hid in his clothes, including his mayonnaise bottle lighter.

"Oy, isn't that just what Souchiro-kun does all the time?" Gintoki asked, he slapped Hijikata's hands away from him. The vice-chief was trying to check if any of the yorozuya had a smoke.

"Geez, you scared us for nothing." Kagura complained. Hijikata received a punch in the face from her and Gin when he accidentally groped her chest in his search for tobacco.

"Still, this petition, since it got all the member's signitures, doesn't this make it more legitimate than Okita-san's previous attempts at stealing the vice-chief position?" Shinpachi asked as he fixed his glasses, after Hijikata searched their handles for any hidden cigarettes.

"Kondo-san and the rest of the squad captains are having a meeting about it right now. That's how I got the opporunity to get away from the intervention." Hijikata informed them as he got bit by Sadaharu, after combing through his fur for a smoke.

The vice-chief was saved from the blood-inducing bite by Kagura and was dragged back onto the couch.

"And stay there! We don't have any cancer in this house, so stop looking!" She scolded her fake boyfriend.

Hijikata 'tch!'-ed but stayed put, as desperate as he was for a smoke, he knew beter than to disobey the yato woman.

To Shinpachi and Gin's surprise, Kagura had fetched a basin of water and a cloth and began to wipe the Vice-chief's face.

Hijikata didn't seem to find anything weird about the gesture though and let her continue.

The coolness of the soaked cloth calmed him a bit.

Kagura then took out a packet of sukonbu from her pocket and handed it to him.

"Here, I know it's not tobacco, but it might help if you are chewing something, so that you stop thinking about smoking." Kagura told him.

Hijikata took the box gingerly.

He now felt a bit ashamed of his behavior.

He popped a strip into his mouth and this, plus the cool cloth that Kagura dabbed against his face, relaxed him immensely.

As Kagura reached his cheek with the cloth, Hijkata placed his hand over hers.

"Thanks." Hijikata murmured.

This made Kagura blush while her two guardians fought back the urge to scream.

Gin and Shinpachi had watched the whole exchange and were currently having internal fits.

"Sh-shinpachi-kun, I just remembered, I need help with something in the bathroom." Gintoki stammered as he got up.

"A-ah! I'll come help then!" Shinpachi said, following Gintoki to the other room.

As soon as Gintoki turned the lock on the door, their panic poured out.

"I thought you said they were faking it!?" Gintoki cried.

"B-but it made no sense! Th-they had to be faking it!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"What just happened in there did not look fake at all, though!" Gintoki growled.

Sinpachi's eyes widened.

"Gin-san, what if it isn't fake!?" He cried.

Gin slapped Shinpachi's face, "That's what I've been trying to say, idiot!"

"No, I meant, if they are a couple, we just left those two alone in a room together!" Shinpachi shrieked.

Gintoki gasped.

With the mayonnaise bastard in his state, who knows what he'd do to Kagura.

"Kagura!" Gintoki yelled as he rushed back to the living room.

"Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi shrieked, running behind Gintoki.

They smashed through the screen door.

"Kagura!" Gintoki yelled again.

"Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi repeated.

"Stop yelling, you damn idiots!" Kagura screamed at the both of them.

They had expected to find the vice-chief doing lecherous things to Kagura, but, the sight before them was quite unexpected.

There, finally sleeping, on kagura's lap nonetheless, was Hijikata.

"Don't wake him up with your yelling. He said so before didn't he? He hasn't slept since last night." Kagura whispered.

Gintoki choked back the bile that rose in his throat as he watched his adoptive daughter stroke the vice-chief's hair tenderly.

When did this brat grow up?

Gintoki had been so relieved when Shinpachi had presented him with the argument, that the whole Hijikata and Kagura relationship was fake. Yet, after seeing this, he was smacked in the face by that possible reality all over again.

When he had first found out about the 'relationship', he technically did try to kill Hijikata, but not as seriously as he thought he would. Maybe, deep down, Gintoki hadn't really believed it and that's why he hadn't tried hard enough to get back at Hijikata for 'dating' Kagura.

He knew Kagura was a good person but even that wouldn't warrant the treatment she had given Hijikata, a grown man, unless he really were her significant other.

Gintoki didn't want to accept it, but the evidence was right in front of him.

He felt himself screaming inside as Kagura looked at the sleeping Hijikata with a caring expression on her face.

This can't be can it?

This brat shouldn't be doing this yet, Gintoki didn't want her to start dating until she was thirty at least.

But here she was, eighteen, with her boyfriend on her lap.

Kagura was with Hijikata.

Hijikata was with his Kagura.

Kagura was dating the mayonnaise bastard.

The mayonnaise bastard was dating his brat.

The mayonnaise bastard probably did this and that to his brat.

His brat probably let the mayonnaise bastard do this and that to her.

Mayonnaise bastard...

His brat...

Together...

"NOOOOOO!" Gintoki exploded.

He rushed at the couple on the couch.

Kagura was instantly on guard,

Damn, why'd Gin-chan have to break down while Hijikata was out of commission?

Now she had to defend the both of them.

She knew Gin had been too calm after their couple reveal.

Sure, he tried to sneak into the shinsengumi compound countless of times to assassinate her fake boyfriend, but if he had been really being serious about it, Hijikata wouldn't be around today.

Right when she thought Gin would strike, he stopped a few centimeters away from her and Hijikata.

"NOOOO!" He cried again.

Gintoki pointed a shaky finger at her, "You..." then he directed it the sleeping vice-chief, "And Him?!"

Kagura nodded, blank faced.

"You and him?!" Gintoki repeated.

"Yes." She replied like it was no big deal.

Well it was a big deal, dammit!

"NOOOOOO!" Gin wailed, and with that, he smashed through the living room wall as well as the outside wall and ran off into the distance.

"Gin-san! Wait! Don't leave me to face this by myself!" Shinpachi shrieked and he too ran off after the perm head.

Kagura observed the Shinpachi shaped hole and Gintoki shaped hole on the Yorozuya walls.

The poor girl sighed, she never anticipated this much bothersome things happening because of her plan.

"I JUST WANT TO DATE THE SADIST, DAMMIT! IS THAT SO BAD, THAT THE UNIVERSE MADE IT THIS DIFFICULT!?" Kagura screamed to the heavens.

"Tch! Quite a thing to say with your fake-boyfriend sleeping on your lap, Kagura." a voice came.

Kagura looked down in surprise to find an awake Hijikata staring up at her.

"Ah, sorry, did I wake you?" She apologized.

"Nah, your wailing boss and co-worker did that." Hijikata replied.

He got up from her lap.

"Uh I don't really mind. If you still want to sleep, you can." Kagura told him.

He shook his head.

Even though it lasted only a few minutes, the nap did clear his head.

"Thanks but I got to deal with the sh*t happening at headquarters." He said.

At this, Kagura looked down, guiltily.

"Something wrong? I thought you'd be happier now that Sougo is back." Hijikata asked after noticing her behavior.

"I'm sorry!" Kagura burst.

Hijikata looked at her in suprise.

"For what?" He asked.

"B-because of what happened that day that we started my plan, the sadist went after you. Now your position is in trouble." She said.

Hijikata chuckled.

"That guy is always after my position. I don't really give a damn about what title I'm called as long as I can serve under Kondo-san." He declared, but the girl still look troubled.

Hijikata sighed, this kid could be all kinds of rude and un-lady-like at times, but she could also be quite sweet.

"Hey, stop worrying. I trust in Kondo-san's and the other's judgement. That petition holds questionable content and trickery was involved. There's no way they'd let it pass." He said in an attempt to reassure Kagura.

Kagura did look slightly pacified with this but she still insisted on walking with him all the way back to the Shinsengumi headquarters.

"I want to hear the results right away." She reasoned.

"You also want to see that bastard crush of yours." Hijikata stated.

At this, Kagura blushed and she slapped Hijikata's shoulder as a result.

"Sh-Shut upt! It's not like that! I'm actually concerned for you, I-idiot!" She stammered.

Hijikata smiled at the face she was making.

"Hey, watch out, your Tsundere is showing." He teased.

"Like hell it is!" Kagura shouted in a shrill voice.

They were walking through the streets of edo, on their way to the Shinsengumi compound.

As they walked, Hijikata suddenly remembered that they were out in public.

He grabbed Kagura's hand, only to have her swipe it away from his grasp.

"I'm not in the mood to play couple." She muttered, not looking at him.

Hijikata sighed, he didn't know why but he wanted to tease the girl a bit more.

To Kagura's shock, the vice-chief wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him.

"Now now, Kagura. You're hurting your boyfriend's feelings." Hijikata murmured into her ear.

His breath against her neck, sent shivers up and down her spine.

"What are you doing? Has the lack of tobacco made you some perverted ossan or something?"

she growled, pushing him away.

Hijikata gasped.

"Ah! Maybe that's it! I've been wondering about that since earlier. I did sleep on your lap without you offering, I also may or may not have touched your chest on purpose when I was searching for tobacco back at your place, and you didn't notice but I sort of took a peek at your panties when you were stomping on me with the other two." Hijikata confessed, looking awed at the revelation of what the lack of tobacco has done to him.

"YOU DAMN PERVERTED OSSAN!" Kagura screamed as she landed a drop kick onto his face.

Hijikata lost consciousness then.

When he came back to, he had a whole bunch of lit cigarettes stuffed into his mouth.

"And don't come near me until they are all finished!" Kagura shrieked.

Hijikata made a vow to never **not** smoke when he was around the yato.

A whole lot of cigarettes later, the two finally arrived at the Shinsengumi headquarters.

Hijikata had quickly disposed of the leftover unfinished cigarettes and sprayed himself with generous amounts of air freshener, that Kagura had smartly bought along with the cigarettes.

The guards at the gate greeted them with salutes.

"Vice-chief, welcome back!" They said to Hijikata.

Then, to Kagura, after a bit of thinking they greeted her with a "Kagura-dono!"

"Call me your queen." Kagura said with a dramatic wave of her hair.

It was safe to say that the guards were instantly enchanted.

"Yes, Our queen, Welcome! We are honored that you graced us with your presence today!"

Hijikata 'tch!'-ed. Maybe this girl really was made for the sadist. Kaiser and his queen sounded like a possible future title for them.

"The meeting should be finishing up by now." Hijikata muttered.

He held onto Kagura's hand as they walked through the compound.

She was still a girl and this was a place full of men.

To outsiders though, this just looked like a public show of affection by the vice-chief to his girlfriend.

The pair arrived outside the meeting room where the chief and squad captains were currently in.

Hijikata placed his ear against the door.

"They're still talking in there." He told Kagura.

"Maybe we should wait somewhere close by instead of right outside the door. They might think you were eavesdropping." Kagura advised.

They settled on the veranda of the room next to the meeting room.

The two sat side by side until they heard movement coming from inside.

The meeting was over.

Hijikata got up and stood in attention outside the door.

He clenched his fists in anticipation.

The door slid open.

"Oh, just the bastard I wanted to see." A voice greeted him.

Hijikata's eyes widened.

There, instead of Kondo, was Sougo.

"Huh? Hijikata-san, is something wrong with your arm?" The sadist asked, innocently.

Hijikata didn't know what to say.

"What? There's nothing wrong with my ar-!" he tried to say.

"Then why the hell aren't you saluting me, bastard?" Sougo asked, his eyes suddenly sharpening with his signature sadistic glint.

"Why the hell would I salute you?!" Hijikata growled.

Sougo chuckled which made Hijikata flinch, this guy was being really creepy right now.

"Well, Hijikata-sa-! ah! I guess it's just Hijikata now huh?" Sougo said with a smirk, "Well Hijikata, it's formal courtesy to salute a higher ranking officer. To be more specific, You, Hijikata, should be saluting me, your new vice-chief, Okita Sougo."

* * *

 **Anyone read the new chapter of Gintama? I won't spoil for those that don't read the manga but I just gotta let this out: OMG GINTSU! AND NO KYUBEI!...that is all *_* those who don't read the manga, control thyself and don't google what I just said.  
**

 ******also, it is exam week this week and next so either I get busy with studying or I procrastinate and write a chapter !_! lol. Stay tuned and hang in there.**


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: First of all, So sorry for the late update! Exams were hectic. After which, I suffered a bout of writer's block and I also realized I couldn't really grasp a Sougo that's in love character very well. Therefore, after some re-watching of episodes with OkiKagu moments, I finally came up with an interpretation of what I think Sougo is like in love._**

 ** _Sorry, but i won't be replying to previous chapter's reviews right now because it will take too much time and my internet can give out at any moment. Maybe I will re-upload with a reply at a later time, maybe not._**

 ** _*Anyway, sorry if it's a bit short, hope you guys enjoy!_**

* * *

 _...To be more specific, You, Hijikata, should be saluting me, your new vice-chief, Okita Sougo."_

In an instant, Sougo had a sheathed sword land on his head.

"You're not vice-chief yet, Sougo. Remember, we're only giving you the chance to win it."

Kondo had finally came out of the meeting room.

After an argument of why Kondo used the word 'yet' and accusations regarding the Shinsengumi officers' alcohol levels when they were making the final decision, Kondo eventually got both his subordinates to behave.

He had dragged both of them to his office and sat them far apart from each other.

"Well? What the hell is going on?" Hijikata asked, highly irritated at this point.

"Kondo-san, I think Hijikata-san is having the monthly red river visit." Sougo piped up, earning him a Shinsengumi issued shoe to the head.

"Toshi, put your shoe back on. Sougo, don't talk about that stuff. Toshi is probably very sensitive about that subject." Kondo scolded.

"Like hell I am!" which lead to Hijikata being barefoot and Kondo having a shoe print on his face.

Kondo cleared his throat, "All jokes aside, ("Is that even possible? It's Gintama." Sougo commented.) Toshi, I and the rest of the squad captains have come to the conclusion that Sougo's petition couldn't just be ignored." Kondo said, "But, we also cannot ignore the way he hid information from those that signed it." He added before Hijikata had time to complain.

The Chief looked at his second in command straight in the eye.

"You, Hijikata Toshirou, current vice-chief of the Shisnengumi, must face the first squad Captain, Okita Sougo, in a duel. The winner will be named vice-chief." Kondo announced.

Hijikata couldn't believe what he was hearing.

How could a bullsh*t petition cause this much trouble for him.

Yeah, he did say he wasn't worried about his position.

But that was only to make Kagura feel better.

He'd rather wear nicotine patches than serve under the prince of sadists.

Hijikata was just about to complain when the office door slammed open, revealing a very panicked Kagura.

"You bastards! How could you guys leave me out like that!? I've been outside on stand by the whole time! I don't know what's going on, is the sadist gonna be the new mayora? Is mayora gonna be jimmy? Is jimmy really gorilla?!" Kagura cried.

All three men blinked at her.

Oh right, Hijikata thought, he had forgotten she was with him.

While Hijikata tried to come up with a way to pacify his fake girlfriend, whom had now began to rant about having the door slammed on her face when she followed them to Kondo's office, Sougo found himself just staring at the enraged Yato.

It had been a while since he'd last seen China, not to mention, it was the first time seeing her after he'd realized he had feelings for her.

One would think that Sougo would have nice things on his mind, when he finally saw the girl he likes, but no, This is the sadist we're talking about.

She.

She.

She.

She turns me on, Sougo thought.

Hey he couldn't help it.

The girl was wearing a revealing outfit that clearly showed just how much she had 'grown up'. Sougo wondered how the hell had he not noticed it before?

Probably because he had never looked at her in that way, until now that is.

Was he drunk or had there been angels, singing in the background, when she had burst into the room earlier?

The light pouring in from outside, silhouetting her, didn't help dampen his illusions either.

Sougo flinched when he felt a sudden tap on his shoulder.

Kondo had crawled over to him.

"Wipe that drool off of your face, Sougo." He teased.

"Kondo-san, _Fuck yew_ " Sougo replied. He secretly checked, though, if he did have drool on his face.

Kondo chuckled.

A Sougo in love was a sight the doting Chief just couldn't get enough of.

Kondo would be lying if he said he hadn't see this coming.

He had always suspected that Sougo had a thing for China.

It was his job, as Sougo's big brother, to help him.

Kondo admitted, It had been a tough decision to pick between Hijikata and Sougo. But, after Sougo showed him just how much he liked China, he immediately jumped over to the ChiGo ship, or was it SouNa?

Anyway, it had all happened when Sougo had come back after his disappearance.

That night, Kondo had been nursing a new black eye he had received from Otae, after being discovered by her in her closet.

As he dabbed an ice pack onto his swollen lid, a shinsengumi member had knocked on his door with urgent news.

Sougo had been spotted entering the compound.

Kondo had immediately ordered the man to bring Sougo to him.

For about an hour, Kondo had shouted Sougo's ear off.

The young man had stayed silent the whole time, which was quite surprising to Kondo.

"Just what is going on with you, Sougo?" Kondo had asked.

Without a word, Sougo had thrown a book onto the Chief's desk.

It was there that Kondo discovered them.

The book was filled, page after page, with schemes and plans to steal Kagura away from Hijikata.

The very last page only contained a few words though:

"Yeah, I like China. Don't make me say it out loud."

Kondo stared at the page, then at Sougo, then back at the page.

He had then promptly burst into tears.

His boy had finally found love.

In no time, Kondo had a blank-faced Sougo in his arms and was bawling like the proud gorilla mother that he was.

"Will you help me, Kondo-san?" Sougo finally spoke.

Kondo couldn't help but feel fired up, this book was a testament to how much Sougo felt for China, Yeah it also showed just how much of a Psychopath Sougo could be, but Kondo would address that issue in a different time.

"You have my full support, Sougo!" Kondo cried.

It was then that he chief spotted Yamazaki passing by his open door.

"And Yamazaki's too!" Kondo announced.

"Hah!?" Yamazaki exclaimed.

And that was how operation: Steal China from Hijikata started.

For their first move, they had put into action the 'More-than-it-seems-Petition Plan' or 'The Shinsengumi needs glasses because they can't read for sh*t, also can some even read? Plan.'

("That name is too long!" Yamazaki commented.)

It had gone pretty smoothly from the start.

Hijikata had been distracted by Yamazaki, with a puzzle that apparently, if solved, would win Hijikata a lifetime supply of mayonnaise.

This gave Sougo the opportunity to go around the compound with the petition, undetected bu the vice-chief.

Sougo had threatened, blackmailed and used other evil means to get the signatures, within the time limit of Hijikata's puzzle solving.

Kondo had then said that he'd deal with the accusations of forceful signings when the time came.

All that lead to now.

With Hijikata scheduled to have a sword fight against Sougo, in a bid for the vice-chief position.

Sougo was one hundred percent sure that he'd win it.

He may have lost last time to Hijikata, but He wasn't distracted this time, in fact, he was more focused now more than ever.

Afterall, he had one goal in mind: Kagura.

Kagura had finally calmed down, after being told the details that she'd missed when she was on stand by.

Kondo had then called Toshi to come closer so he could tell him the details of his upcoming duel.

During which, Kagura found herself staring at Sougo.

It had been a while since she'd last seen him.

Kagura mentally slapped herself when the words 'he looks handsome as always' floated into her mind.

He was being such a pain right now.

She should not be thinking nice things about him.

He had her not only worrying for Hijikata but also feeling extremely frustrated.

The idiot seemed to be focusing more on the Hijikata side than on hers.

It does wonders in lowering a girl's confidence.

He should be trying to steal Hijikata's girlfriend instead of his position, dammit! Kagura thought.

Meanwhile, Sougo was boredly watching the veins on Hijikata's neck, start to pulse as He and Kondo-san argued about the upcoming duel.

It was at this time that Sougo felt someone staring at him.

Red eyes met Blue.

The two maintained eye contact for a strangely long time.

Kagura tried her best not to blush, but the pink hue still found their way up to her cheeks.

To her surprise, and slight horror, Sougo suddenly got up and walked over to her.

He settled right next to her and, adding on to her nervousness, leaned in real close to her face.

"Hey. If you keep staring at me like that, I might assume you're in love with me or something." Sougo drawled into her ear.

Kagura's immediate reaction was to pull her face away from his.

"Wh-what the hell are you talking about? I-I was just trying to see if your demon horns could be seen through your hair, d-damn sadist!" She blabbered, the poor girl was absolutely flustered from her crush's closeness.

Sougo smirked, he liked her reaction and, being the sadist that he was, He wanted to see more.

"Your face is all red, China. You like me that much?" Sougo teased, once again closing the distance between the two of them.

"I don't like you, I hate you!" Kagura shrieked. Oops, she hadn't meant to say that, but he was distracting her so much that she hadn't thought before she spoke.

Sougo had to admit, it hurt when she had said that what she did. Never less, he couldn't stop himself from continuing.

After days of being away from her, plus the fact that he finally realized his feelings for her, Sougo badly needed replenishing of his internal China interaction meter.

Kagura felt like melting when Sougo suddenly pulled her face closer.

He gently held her chin as he slowly leaned in.

"Well then, If you hate me that much, then you shouldn't react if I kissed you, right?" He murmured, a hair's width away from her lips.

It was at that moment that Sougo made the mistake of looking into her eyes.

There was fear, shock and something he couldn't read, in her blue orbs.

Damn, maybe he was going too far.

Her 'boyfriend' was just a short distance away after all, and Kagura apparently 'hates' Sougo.

No wonder she looked so against his kiss.

Yet, he couldn't help but be mesmerized by her lips. They looked soft.

Sougo was so close, he could literally taste her breath; a hint of sukonbu and candy.

"You are still such a brat." He whispered before pulling away.

Kagura blinked.

Saying she was disappointed was an understatement.

Kagura felt incredibly let down that she didn't get kissed by the idiot, as well as furious at the thought that he probably had just been teasing her and she fell for it.

"Damn you, sadist!" She muttered.

"What?" Sougo asked, his face back to a dead-pan expression.

An angry mark immediately appeared on her forehead.

"I said, Damn You!" Kagura growled, before getting up and putting some distance between them.

She plopped down next to Hijikata and proceeded to fume silently.

Damn sadist, she thought.

Playing around with her like that, doesn't he know how much he affects her?

Kagura chanced a glance at him and instantly regretted it.

He was staring at her.

Or so she thought, maybe, being the idiot that he was, he was just staring at Hijikata, since that's all he seems to care about.

Kagura leaned forward and watched as the Sadist's eyes followed her movement.

She leaned backward and His eyes stayed glued onto her.

She got back up and sat back down, his eyes never left her.

What did this mean? Kagura thought to herself.

She was now very confused.

Sougo had to bite down onto his lip, to stop the chuckle from escaping.

Just a moment ago, he had been pissed that China had gone straight to Hijikata after their little 'encounter'.

But now he was enjoying himself immensely, staring at her

Had her facial expressions always been this cute?

His mood suddenly dropped though, when the girl, in an attempt to hide from his stare, went over to the other side of Hijikata, successfully getting out of his sight.

Sougo 'Tch!'-ed and was just about to sulk when China showed up again and peeked out above Hijikata's shoulder.

From her previous reactions to him, the proper thing he should have done was to cut it out. But Sougo had never liked to do proper things..

As she peeked at him, Sougo caught her eye and gave her a wink.

With a squeak, She immediately disappeared behind Hijikata again.

Sougo's body shook with silent laughter.

He just couldn't get enough of China.

There's no helping it anymore, He had to be with her.

Sougo didn't care what he had to do or who he had to do it to, he'd do it all for China.

He watched her now, or at least the parts of her that could be seen from behind Hijikata.

You don't belong with him, idiot, Sougo thought.

He sighed, Loving an idiot was hard.

* * *

 ** _I'm still test-driving this interpretation of a 'Sougo in love' character so I would actually appreciate criticisms. I would hate to have made him out of character or weird. I am open to re-writing and re-uploading. Why? because my holidays have started and I am FREEEE!_**

 _ **Also, adding on to my usual end of chapter fan-girling , For the new episodes of the anime: OMG KATSURA, SAKAMOTO AND GINTOKI = AMAZE-BALLS!**_

 _ **For the new chapter: OMG JIROCHON!**_

 _ **That is all, see you next week or earlier!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Akely: thanks, glad you found it pleasant. Yeah I found Sougo soft too but I thought it's okay since, in his mind, he basically thinks Hijikata already took Kagura from him so maybe a more forward approach is necessary to get her back. Oh and I attend Uni in Japan, you?**

 **darkjeane: haha yeah, but I don't actually know how the pm in this site works so I prefer in-chapter replies. But I'll consider pm next time my internet is glitchy ^_^. ..which it is now *_* wifi just died as I wrote this. Yeah, I know I don't HAVE to re-write/upload but it's not really the case of pleasing others, more like pleasing myself with improving my writing and getting feedback. but thanks, I am honored to be able to share my stories with everyone \^_^/ . Also yeah I agreed at first that Sougo was too straight forward but I guessed that if he basically already thinks Hijikata stole Kagura from him, a sense of urgency makes him take a more straight forward approach. Plus, he doesn't really think much of her ability to understand indirect signs and methods lol. Sorry if I sound defensive or offended or anything in this reply, I'm actually appreciative of your review, i'm trying to reconnect to wifi as I write this !_!.**

 **Patsuan: thanks! ^_^ and yeah I might bring up the title a lot, afterall, Gintama is filled with idiots that we love and adore.**

 **Guest: Uh cool! ^_^ hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

 **kasmindag: thanks! hope you like this chapter as well.  
**

 **meshi-chan: aw thanks! I'm very happy you think that. Also, yeah isn't Hijikagu great?! lol. thanks for waiting, here you go!**

 **liljanii: omg omg omg thanks! haha. thanks for waiting as well, here ya go!**

 **** So maybe this chapter and the next will be the last two chapters that has Hijikagu moments, so take it in lol. The Okikagu will be coming soon.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy this one!**

* * *

Kagura didn't know what to make of Sougo's behavior.

Was this just a new form of teasing that he'd adopted?

Of course, it did not occur, once, in the girl's head, that the sadist was flirting with her.

Kondo had watched everything play out and so far, it seemed hopeless.

Why? Because both parties seemed to be idiots when it came to love.

It had taken all his will power to not interrupt, when Sougo had boldly tried to kiss the China girl.

Kondo also had to hold back a burst of laughter, when it caused the poor girl to hide from Sougo.

Another thing that amazed him was how oblivious Toshi was to all of it.

The vice-chief was very much too focused on reading the clauses and rules of the upcoming duel, to even notice his girlfriend being harassed by his opponent.

Kondo didn't know what to make of all of it.

Therefore, the chief decided to just sit back and watch.

"Huh? When did you get there?" Hijikata asked, finally noticing his fake girlfriend's presence, beside him.

"Shhh! The sadist is up to something. He keeps staring at me and he tried to sexually harass me earlier!" Kagura whispered fiercely as she continued to squint at Sougo, from over her fake-boyfriend's shoulder.

"Hah? What are you talking about? Sougo did what to you?" Hijikata questioned, not really understanding what his fake-girlfriend was saying.

Did he just hear the words 'sexually harass' in the same sentence as 'the sadist'?

He immediately looked towards where his fake-girlfriend was staring at.

The electrical charge between the two men was instantaneous.

Sougo glared at Hijikata and Hijikata glared at Sougo.

"Oy, I heard you did something to my girlfriend, bastard." Hijikata growled at Sougo, their eye contact un-breaking.

Sougo smirked.

"Hey, your girlfriend started it. Not my fault that she couldn't help stare at me. With you as her boyfriend, who wouldn't?"

Hijikata was immediately on his feet.

"What was that, bastard?" He said threateningly as He grabbed Sougo by the collar.

"Kondo-san, forget about the scheduled duel, I can kick this guy's ass right now." Hijikata told his superior.

Sougo scoffed, "Like you could beat me. I'm fighting for something that I can't afford to lose."

The two men, without taking their eyes off of each other, drew apart and quickly took out their swords.

The tension was sizzling in the room as they prepared to clash.

They stood there, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Kagura had watched, open-mouthed, as the all too familiar scene unfolded.

It was her fault again too, she thought.

She had to do something,

Kagura frantically reached for her parasol, only to grab air.

She swore under her breath, she had left her umbrella at the gate when she entered the compound.

Damn guards, telling her, the queen, that non-members weren't allowed weapons inside.

Kagura had no choice then, but to go in-between the two idiots, unarmed.

She took one deep breath and was just about to get up, when the loud clang of swords hitting against each other, pierced through the air.

Her heart beat instantly raced as she looked to see who had attacked who.

"Huh?" She let out, utterly confused by the scene in front of her.

Apparently, It was Hijikata that had struck first and Kondo had jumped in and blocked him with his own sword. But, Sougo, who wasn't all too happy by the interruption, had decided to still strike with his sword as well. The thing was, it wasn't Hijikata he had attacked, it was Kondo. Now, all Kagura do was blink, as she looked at a Gorilla with a sword skewered into his a**.

"Sougo, W-why!?" Kondo croaked as he fell to the ground due to his unfortunate injury.

"Ah, Kondo-san, that was you? For a moment there, I thought a Gorilla had escaped from the zoo and was running around the compound. Sorry." Sougo deadpanned, mercilessly taking out his sword from his superior and wiping it on said superior's jacket.

Hijikata stared with darkened eyes, speechless.

What could one say after watching their boss get sexually assaulted by a sword?

Kagura too, didn't know how to react.

She stared at Sougo with only the whites of her eyes showing.

The sentence "That's the guy you have a crush on right there." kept going around her head in big, bright, bold letters.

Sougo calmly sheathed his sword.

Completely ignoring the moaning mess that was his boss, beside him, he turned to Hijikata.

"Well, seems like we gotta wait til the duel to actually fight. We can't let Kondo-san's sacrifice be in vain and start fighting again after he got injured."

"Oy, You're the one who injured him, you soulless bastard! Don't try to make it look like you had nothing to do with it!" Hijikata growled.

Sougo ignored him and continued, "Just so you know, Hijikata-san, I don't plan on losing to you. In three days, I will be vice-chief."

Hijikata glared daggers into his subordinate.

"I don't plan on losing to you either. I will once again secure my position and when I do, I will make it so that you don't ever pull sh*t like this ever again." He declared.

Sougo smirked and, to the shock of the other two, drew closer to Hijikata until the other man could hear him whisper.

"We'll see about that." he then looked over at Kagura, " And Hijikata-san, you better watch out, or I'm gonna steal something more than just your position."

Hijikata followed his gaze and instantly got pissed.

"You keep her out of this, Sougo!" He growled.

Shivers ran up and down Hijikata's spine as the sadist chuckled into his ear.

"Oh but Hijikata-san, she is the reason for all this." Sougo whispered before pulling away and watching the full effect of the statement show on Hijikata's face.

Sougo, satisfied, turned to Kagura this time.

"Oy, China, You better come to the duel and see your boyfriend get his a** kicked, I'll make it as entertaining as I can."

Kagura's eyes widened for a second before turning into a glare.

"I'll be there, sadist. But it's so that I get to see Toshi-san wipe the floor with you!" She growled at Sougo.

Sougo couldn't help but smirk.

Damn, she looked good all fired up.

Just wait China, I'll not only win that match, but you as well, Sougo thought.

With one last look at Kagura, he left.

After Sougo's departure, Hijikata had called some medical help over for Kondo.

Once the ambulance got there and took the Gorilla away, the vice-chief thought it was about time he got his young fake-girlfriend home.

The walk back was silent, Hijikata smoked quietly beside Kagura, whom was clutching her, finally obtained, umbrella tightly.

As they went through town, Hijikata, at one point,noticed that she wasn't beside him anymore.

He panicked for a bit, remembering just how much her attention could get easily caught by the weirdest things, but eventually calmed down when he spotted her, a few paces behind him.

She was standing still, eyes downcast.

Hijikata gulped and summoned up the courage to approach her.

He had tried his best, since leaving the compound, to not bring up or think about what just happened there. Obviously, his fake-girlfriend had not done the same and seemed to be thinking about it too much.

Hijikata sighed, "Hey, You don't have to worry, ya know? I ain't gonna lose to that bastard."

When she still didn't reply, he continued, "You don't have to look so concerned. He's done this 'become vice-chief' bullsh*t plenty of times. I can handle i-!"

"What are we doing?" Kagura burst, interrupting him.

Hijikata blinked at her, he didn't really get what she meant.

"What do you-?" He tried to ask.

"I mean what are we doing right now? What are we doing this for? I started all this so that the sadist could say he liked me back b-but now...now it's all a mess and it's all my fault!" Kagura cried.

Hijikata's throat instantly became dry when he saw the big hot tears well up from her eyes.

Silently, he threw his cigarette to the ground and put it out.

With his right hand, he grabbed Kagura's own and pulled her against his font.

With his left, he cupped the back of her head and gently placed her face on his chest.

He didn't even think twice about his shinsengumi uniform getting wet, all he could think of was that they were being wet by tears and he wanted nothing but those tears to stop.

"You really fell in love with an idiot, you know?" Hijikata started, his right hand slowly rubbed at Kagura's back, "Tell ya what, After I've finished kicking his ass for pulling this petition bullsh*t, I'll beat some sense into him, so that he can finally see; that there's this outrageous woman who went to great lengths just to get his idiot a** to realize his feelings for her. You see, I believe a woman as amazing as that will get the guy she wants, because she deserves it, after doing so much for that fool." He then gently pulled away so that he could look at Kagura's face, Hijikata stared straight into those blue, teary eyes, "So trust me to help make that happen, okay?"

Bright blue, tear-stained eyes, blinked back at him for a few seconds.

Slowly, Kagura nodded and, to Hijikata's relief, her tears began to subside.

He watched lamely as she attempted to clean her face by rubbing her hands all over, resulting in making the mess worse.

He sighed and pulled her into another hug, mostly so that she could use his uniform to wipe her face.

Hijikata mentally kicked himself, the things he does because of those damn blue puppy dog eyes.

"You okay, now?" Hijikata asked Kagura after a while.

Kagura nodded and, whilst avoiding looking at him, took his hand and began walking again.

Hand in hand, they arrived at the Yorozuya, and, even though the two other members were still probably wailing into the horizon somewhere, Hijikata left Kagura there and headed back to headquarters.

"S-see you tomorrow!" Kagura called after him.

Without turning back, he waved a hand in the air.

"Don't overdose on mayonnaise or something until then!" The girl added in an attempt to make it feel like normal between the two of them.

Hijikata 'tch!'-ed and slipped the mayonnaise bottle he was just about to take out, back into his pocket.

As he walked back, Hijikata finally allowed himself to think and assess what had happened back at the compound.

He suddenly paused in his step as he remembered something crucial.

" _Oh but Hijikata-san, she is the reason for all this."_

What did Sougo mean?

Kagura was the reason why the petition mess was happening? Is that it?

That guy's mind is really messed up, Hijikata thought.

It was that bastard that caused all this, Kagura had nothing to do with any of it.

Well there was that part that he threatened to steal Kagura as well as the vice-chief title, but Hijikata waved it off as just Sougo thinking of it as another way to give Hijikata hell.

"Whatever you're planning, you bastard, I'm not gonna let you get away with it." Hijikata said to himself.

"Oh, you sound all fired up, Lolicon-kun. You won't be for long though, bastard!" A familiar voice suddenly came.

"It's a good thing we ran into you here, we wanted to 'talk' to you, Boyfriend-san." another all too familiar voice came.

Hijikata slowly turned around and found himself face to face with none other than the missing idiots.

Gintoki and Shinpachi grinned manically back at him.

"Yo, walking-deadman-san." they chorused.

* * *

 ***And now to fangirl about the latest gintama: omg, 300 yen will be forever a special amount in my heart.**

 ****As always, criticisms are appreciated (I have been writing the word 'criticisms' for the passed 8 chapters now and in all honesty, I have spelled it wrong every time, Spell check saved me in the final products each time.)**

 ** _***I'm gonna be traveling for my holiday to an island country with slow internet (the horror!) without my laptop (more horror!) so I dunno when I will get to update again. I'm gonna enjoy the beach a bit first \^_^/ huhu! the only time I am glad I'm not a yato and I get to enjoy the sun *_*. So hang in there!_  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Patsuan: aw thanks! I hate OOC-ness so glad I'm not guilty of it.**

 **liljanii: thanks! haha I liked making those dumb nicknames.**

 **ALyn Pid: Aw thanks! well I hope this chapter keeps you guys satisfied til I write again.**

 **meshi-chan: IKR? Hijikagu had that sibling vibe, you could see it in the Yagyuu arc where Hijikata listened to all of Kagura's whining with the plate lol. Also, thanks! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

 ****I have this small nagging feeling that the flow isn't as great in this one but maybe it's just because I'm still awake and it's already 6am lol. Hope you guys enjoy this one, criticisms are appreciated!**

* * *

Kagura sighed.

The apartment felt empty without her two sort-of big brothers.

For a moment, she considered going downstairs to chat with the women, but thought better of it after remembering Cathrine's remarks about her recent 'relationship' reveal and Otose's warnings about men, while Tama added comments, of inputting all that data into her memory, in the background.

Company was what she needed, anything to make her not think about her love troubles as well as the other problems that's occurred with it.

Kagura wished so bad to just go over to her Anego's and tell her everything that's been happening, but that was too dangerous.

"Ah!" She exclaimed, she just remembered the person who gave her advice before.

In a flash, she was out of the house and off to Yoshiwara.

"What were you thinking, Tsukki?!" A frustrated Sa-chan asked.

"It seemed like a good idea. It would probably be better than yours anyway. You'd have told her to stalk him or something." Tsukuyo replied.

Kagura hesitated, she seemed to have come at a bad time.

The two women looked like they were in a heated argument.

Taking a breath, she made her presence known.

"Hey, what's got the ninja stalker's panties up in a bunch?" She said as a greeting.

"Oh, speak of the devil!" Sa-chan exclaimed, turning to Kagura, "What? You come here to tell Tsukki how your guys plan flopped?"

The look that occurred on Kagura's face answered her question.

"What happened?" Tsukuyo immediately inquired.

Kagura sighed and proceeded to tell them all that's been going on until the present.

Sa-chan burst out laughing as soon as Kagura finished her story.

"That's what you get for taking advice from a woman who has never had a proper boyfriend in her life!" She exclaimed.

Kagura ignored her, she knew the courtesan of death meant well but, since it was the sadist, things did not go exactly as they had expected.

Tsukuyo felt overcome with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Kagura. If only I had come up with a better plan." she apologized.

"It's okay, Tsukki. The idiot I like isn't exactly normal. I should have realized that plans for normal guys, wouldn't work on him." Kagura told her.

Seeing the look on the young girl's face made Tsukki feel even worse and Sa-chan to stop laughing.

The ninja sighed in exasperation.

"Geez, If you wanted a plan to get your target, you should've come to me." She said.

"Oy Sarutobi, she's trying to go out with the guy, not take him out." Tsukuyo told the assassin.

"I know what she's trying to do!" Sa-chan shrieked, before calming herself and going on with her piece, "I'm just saying that getting a guy is similar to an assassination."

"It's totally different though!" Tsukuyo commented.

Sa-chan ignored her.

"You see, before an assassination, we get information about our targets first. This gives us the ability to customize the perfect plan to get our specific targets. Each individual has a different method of acquiring. In getting a man, it's the same. You formulate a plan to suit the person you are trying to land, from information about them." Sa-chan told Kagura.

The two other women found themselves with their mouths hanging open.

For a woman that always unsuccessfully tried to get the man she likes, Sa-chan's advice actually sounded pretty sound.

The ninja smirked, pride swelling from their reactions.

"So, Miss no-sex-appeal. Your first attempt failed because Tsukki's plan was too general. What you gotta do now is to put together all that you know about this guy that you like, then make a plan based on that." She continued.

With that, Kagura began to think about what she knew about the sadist.

Wait a minute.

"He's a sadist." She announced.

Tsukuyo's face immediately darkened while Sa-chan squealed.

"Ooh! I may disapprove of your bratness but You have my respect for your taste in men!" She complimented Kagura, "of course, this guy could never compare to my Gin-san!"

"'Your' Gin-san?" Tsukuyo commented, "Also, isn't him being a sadist bad? Kagura, you're not at all submissive or masochistic. This doesn't seem like a good match." she added, addressing the younger woman.

Kagura couldn't agree more.

Yes, she admits that she liked it when Okita was sadistic to others, especially to common enemies. But, when he acted like that to her or the people she cares about and he takes it too far without any consideration, which happens a lot mind you, she hated that side of him.

"I don't know anymore, Tsukki. Recently, I've been wondering why I fell for that idiot in the first place." She sadly admitted.

"What are you talking about? Sadists are the best partners out there! Of course a brat like you wouldn't appreciate the perfect combination that is pain and pleasure!" Sa-chan shrieked.

"Stop raving about your sick fetishes, Sarutobi!" Tsukuyo scolded the ninja, turning to Kagura, she placed a gentle hand onto the confused girl's shoulder, "Kagura, If you feel like that, then try to recall the things you do like about this guy. The negatives may cloud over our vision sometimes, but the good things are still there, we just need to remember them and not get overwhelmed."

Kagura blinked at Tsukki for a few seconds before a whirlwind of memories and emotions hit her about Sougo.

There may be plenty of things she didn't like about him, but heck there was almost the same amount of stuff she did like about him.

She liked how they 'fought' all the time, because she could tell that they always held back their true strength, in order to not seriously hurt the other and it turns out to be fun instead.

She liked how innocent and cute he appears on the outside, but was a monster of a samurai inside.

She respected how, just like what she'd do for the ones she loves, he'd take on anyone as well as throw away his own life to protect those precious to him.

She liked how he tries to protect the gorilla's innocence when it came to dealing with the dirty work of the Shinsengumi, she respected him for taking on that burden.

She liked how he always tries to act cool and dead pan during serious moments, but his concern still shows in his actions.

She admired his strength, especially when, as a human, he takes on crazy strong amantos and what not, without hesitation.

She liked how, according to Gin-chan, he's a sucker for his big sister.

And yes, he may be a sadist but there was a limit to the pain he could watch, from all the moments he showed real anger, when innocent people and the ones he cares for gets hurt.

He's actually a good guy, just an idiot.

And yes, she loved that idiot.

"Well?" Both Tsukuyo and Sa-chan chorused.

They had watched the girl go into a daze and she had not snapped out of it since.

"Oy, Are you broken? What do I have to take out and re-insert to get you to work again?" Sa-chan asked as she poked Kagura a few times.

"She's not a machine!" Tsukuyo scolded.

Kagura suddenly moved, making both of the women turn their attention back to her.

The young woman grabbed both their arms, looking like she urgently needed to say or do something.

"I love him!" She practically yelled.

"Yes, yes we know. Geez, did you lose your temporary memory?" Sa-chan asked.

Kagura blushed, letting their arms go.

Tsukuyo couldn't help but smile at the girl.

Kagura had looked very content and happy during her daze and Tsukuyo knew it was because she had been thinking about this sadist guy.

The girl was so adorable in-love.

"If that's the case,Then re-commit yourself." Tsukuyo told Kagura.

"Huh?" Kagura asked.

"Re-commit to your wish of getting him to admit his feelings for you. Get back to the mission you made for yourself with the new strength of your love for him." Tsukuyo told her.

Sa-chan sighed, she couldn't help want to root for the girl as well.

Mostly because it eliminated her from becoming a love rival for her Gin-san, especially with how beautiful the brat had gotten in the passed few years.

"Of course, You need a new plan to get this guy of yours. Leave it to the beautiful glassed ninja and the courtesan of death to help you with that!" Sa-chan declared, her glasses flashing as she nudged them up her nose.

With that, the three began to formulate a new plan.

Meanwhile, On Sougo's end, planning was also happening.

"Don't you think this is too much of a round-about-way to get the China-girl, Chief?" Yamazaki asked after reading the details of their current plan, the 'More-than-it-seems Petition plan'.

"What are you talking about, Yamazaki? This kind of things is necessary to do when you're shy like Sougo, He can't be like me who's very straight forward with my love." Kondo replied.

"What part of Captain Okita is Shy, Chief?! Also, stalking is called being 'straight forward' now?" Yamazaki exclaimed.

"Don't think too much about it, Zaki. For now, it's all going according to plan." Kondo said, ignoring Yamazaki's comments.

Zaki sighed, in his opinion, they were just being a huge bother to the vice-chief as well as China.

He looked at the plan details again.

"I still don't get how this will get China." He commented.

"It's simple, Zaki." Sougo said, having heard him when entering the room, "I beat Hijikata in the duel and become Vice-chief. I offer to give him back his vice-chief position in exchange for China and, being the bastard that he is, he'll accept and I have who I want."

Yamazaki felt his eye twitch in doubt.

The captain's plan sounded very much like it would flop and get really bad results. It also sounded kind of evil but he didn't want to think about that right now.

"Um, Captain. You do know China isn't property that can just be exchanged right? She's a person and she definitely won't go quietly, even if the vice-chief agreed to you." he told the sadist.

"Relax, Zaki. After Hijikata hands her over to me, before she can complain, I'll show her this." Sougo handed Zaki a piece of paper.

Yamazaki's face immediately darkened.

The paper read: "This is a document declaring that Okita Sougo will cover all of your food expenses in the duration of your dating him." with a space at the bottom for the signature of the parties involved. Sougo had already signed his side.

"Once she sees that, she'll agree, maybe to just spite me and try to drain my money dry at first, but once we start to date and the idiot realizes how great I am, she will stay dating me willingly. I already took my savings and wages into account and I can financially survive that appetite of hers until I get to the stage where she loves me back. The plan is perfect." Sougo said, looking very proud of his creation.

Yamazaki tried to come up with a comment but couldn't think of any.

The plan was ridiculous, but this was Gintama, and the girl involved was ridiculous as well, and Captain had taken that ridiculousness into account, which means...well it means that this might just work.

Sougo smirked at Yamazaki's dumbfounded expression.

"In three days, China will be mine." he declared.

"She's almost half your age!" Shinpachi shrieked.

After ambushing Hijikata in the streets, Shinpachi and Gintoki had dragged the poor guy to an alley and...they had a talk with him?

"Oy Bastard, do you realize how much that girl eats? There's a reason why the yorozuya are eternally poor, ya know?" Gintoki said to Hijikata in an urgent tone.

"Kagura is still innocent! Don't you feel like a sick man when you do this and that with her?" Shinpachi asked, shoving his face right at the vice-chief's.

"What do you mean this and that? And don't use her as an excuse to why you're poor!" Hijikata growled at the two of them, pushing their faces away from him.

Shinpachi seemed to be trying to guilt Hijikata into not dating Kagura while Gintoki took the 'try to scare him out of it' route.

"She'll eat your wallet dry, bro!" Gintoki wailed.

"Did you think waiting for her to turn eighteen would make it okay? It's not okay, Hijikata-san! Her mental age is only about ten years old!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"Don't forget about that inhuman strength of hers, she'll break every bone on your body when you two try to do the puff puff!" Gintoki exclaimed, "and Yes, even the bone in Toshirou Jr!" He added in a fierce whisper.

"You're dating a child!" Shinpachi cried.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! AND STOP SHOVING YOUR UGLY MUGS SO CLOSE TO ME!" Hijikata burst.

After a while, the alley was silent.

Shinpachi and Gintoki sat quietly in front of Hijikata, both sporting painful red bumps on their heads.

"If I tell you what's really going on, will you two promise to keep it a secret and stop your b*tching?" Hijikata asked.

"S-sure, Hijikata-san." Shinpachi replied.

"Fine. It's not like I care though." Gintoki said, looking away from Hijikata in an attempt to still look cool.

"What the hell are you acting all tsundere for, Bastard? It's disgusting to see and really annoying. Let me punch you again, will ya?!" Hijikata growled.

"Do what you want, B-baka!" Gintoki replied, earning him another bump on the head.

After things finally settled down again, Hijikata told them the truth about his 'relationship' with Kagura.

Just like his stalker ninja, Gintoki immediately burst out laughing as well, after Hijikata finished.

"Oy perm-head, what's so funny?" Hijikata asked the laughing idiot.

"Well, It's just, " Gintoki said in between chuckles, "She's dating you to get another guy! Ha! Poor Hijikata-kun."

Hijikata instantly had Gin's collar in his hands.

"Do you wanna get hit again?"

"Gin-san, It's not funny. Hijikata-san did a really nice thing for Kagura-chan and he's been experiencing hell for it." Shinpachi scolded his boss.

"B-but Pachi-boy, He's being used as a fake boyfriend, so that Kagura can get a real boyfriend. Ha!" Gintoki exclaimed in glee.

Gin then found himself in a headlock by Hijikata.

"The thing I'm wondering about is, why did Kagura-chan ask Hijikata-san? She had you or me to ask to pretend to be her fake boyfriend. She didn't have to search out of the yorozuya." Shinpachi said out loud, completely treating the scene, of his boss slowly losing consciousness, as a normal occurrence.

Hijikata and Gintoki stopped squabbling and, instead, turned to Shinpachi.

They burst out laughing.

"Pachi-boy, You think you could have played Kagura's fake-boyfriend? Ha! Your jokes are getting really good, you trying to be the funny man now? That's cute." Gintoki chortled.

"The glasses thinks people would believe that a girl would date him, ha!" Hijikata exclaimed.

The two idiots fell over each other with laughter.

"Oy, you jerks! That's over doing it! It's not that funny, you're just being a**holes now!" Shinpachi angrily shrieked while trying to blink away the tears forming in his eyes.

"All jokes aside, I'm glad I didn't have to kick your ass for dating our brat." Gintoki told Hijikata, after they had recovered from their fit.

"Like you could kick my ass in the first place." Hijikata replied.

" _Go to hell_!" Shinpachi told the both of them.

"Relax, Shinpachi. We were just joking." Gintoki assured his subordinate.

"We weren't really joking though." Hijikata muttered.

"I can hear you, Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"Leave it, leave it. It's water under the bridge." Gintoki said, coming in between the two.

"Well, now that you guys know the truth, can I go now?" Hijikata asked.

That's when the two yorozuya members became silent.

"Uh, hello? Oy, if you don't say something, I'm just gonna go." Hijikata told them.

Gintoki and Shinpachi suddenly had their Bokuto out.

"Pachi-boy, we're going Sofa-kun hunting." Gintoki declared.

"I don't know what he did to make Kagura-chan like him, but he caused her to take such desperate actions and made her cry, I won't forgive it!" Shinpachi yelled.

Hijikata sighed at their ridiculousness.

"Oy, you really think beating up the guy she likes is the solution? pretty sure you'll get your a** handed to you by Sougo, glasses." Hijikata told Shinpachi, turning to Gin, he said, "and when you survive and beat Sougo, perm-head, your brat will come and finish you for hurting her crush."

The two paused in their march to the Shinsengumi compound.

The mayonnaise addict had a point.

Gintoki grudgingly put away his sword.

"Dammit, when did that brat grow up and start liking boys anyway? Ah! Maybe Soichirou-kun tricked her with sukonbu or something. Yeah, it's gotta be that!" Gintoki exclaimed.

Hijikata 'tch!'-ed.

"You really think Kagura is that easily swayed? She's smarter than she looks. You're really underestimating her." He told Gin.

This caused Shinpachi to squint at Him.

"Now way!" The glasses exclaimed, "Hijikata-san, could you have fallen for Kagura-chan while fake dating her!?"

Gintoki and Hijikata similtaniously chocked on their saliva.

"Is that true, Loli-con bastard?!" Gintoki growled.

"Like hell it is! It's not like that, dammit!" Hijikata growled back.

He sighed and took out a cigarette.

Lighting it, he took a puff then replied.

"I've just gotten to know her better these passed few days and I think she's a great kid. Sougo is totally unworthy of her if he continues to act like he does. I just want to help her, even if its to get that idiot."

Gintoki looked at the vice-chief intently.

"You, You're not that bad." He declared.

Hijikata spluttered his cigarette out.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, bastard!? I've always been a good guy, you're the hopeless one!"

"Ah, don't get into it again, you two." Shinpachi intervened.

Gintoki smirked.

"Relax Shinpachi, I'm not gonna fight with him. It's your lucky day, Hijikata-kun." He told the vice-chief.

"Hah!? What's so lucky about it after all that's happened today?" Hijikata asked, remembering everything that had occurred.

"Well, Hijikata-kun, after finding out how much you've taken care off our Kagura, Your request has been heard." Gintoki announced.

"Request?" Hijikata inquired.

"Hijikata-san, don't worry. We'll help you and Kagura-chan." Shinpachi told the vice-chief.

"Yorozuya Gin-chan is on the job!" Gintoki declared.

They then dragged Hijikata back to the Yorozuya office and began thinking up a plan.

So, after all three parties prepared their own schemes and plans, the day of the duel finally arrived.

The duel was being held at the Shinsengumi compound, in the courtyard.

A make-shift spectator's podium was built around the area for the members and guests.

In Sougo's corner, was the sadist himself, looking bored, with Kondo and Yamazaki. Kondo was to be the referee and Yamazaki as his assistant.

Over at Hijikata's side, was a Hijikata that looked like he was in a bad mood, a Gintoki that kept talking to the vice-chief like he was his coach, and a Shinpachi that was the coach's coach.

Sitting at the spectator's podium was Kagura's team. It consisted of a very nervous Kagura, a fangirling Sa-chan, after seeing Gintoki in a coach's short sport shorts, and a very uncomfortable Tsukuyo, whom was the only one that noticed all the staring the three of them were getting from the Shinsengumi members.

The members, in their defense, were just curious as to why there were two other bombshells with the vice-chief's bombshell girlfriend and were hoping, with all their might, that they weren't Hijikata's other honeys.

"Oh hey, Hijikata-san. I see you got more people to come and witness your demise." Sougo greeted his opponent.

Hijikata glared at him.

"I brought them specifically to see me kick your a**." Hijikata returned.

Sougo gave him a sadistic grin.

"Prepare to lose everything today, Hijiata."

"I'll make you eat those words as well as my sword, you little bastard."

"Let the duel, BEGIN!" Kondo announced.

In a flash, the two clashed.

To be continued...

* * *

 _ **Mwahahaha ending on a cliff hanger right before going on vacation *_* I feel evil.**_

 _ **Anyway, I can't fangirl over the new Gintama episode because my internet is being a little b*tch (I had to write this part twice because it died and didn't save) and I haven't been able to load the ep online. But, I can fangirl about the new chapter: OMG Jirochou is so awesome. I loved Otose's husband and I know she loved him but I think he and everyone else would approve if Otose got together with Jirochou after this arc because come on! She and him just get each other and he loved her so much. They are the epic parents of the Kabuki district.**_

 _ ****Anyway, I'm leaving very soon for my island paradise(?) so bye bye and see you guys again when I find time (or motivation after drying up in the sun) to write another chapter! ^_^ hang in there!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Furuchisa: Thanks! and yeah, Hijikata is great (a.k.a I love him lol). Hope you did well in your trial exams!**

 **meshi-chan: yeah, I felt that too but glad you likes the chapter! hope you enjoy this one as well.**

 **Patsuan: thanks! and nooo I was right, the internet here is slow so haven't watched anime since I got to my vacation, oh the tragedy! anyway, hope you like this chapter too!**

 **fdsa4321: first of all, nice name lol. Secodnly, aw thanks! I consider being called almost like a gintama episode, one of the best compliments to get! \^_^/ . And thanks for the tip! also, it's okay, i get that not all people ship some ships. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Currently-addicted-to-okikagu: ah omg hope your eyestrain gets better, i guess releasing another chapter isn't goo for it haha. aw I love Okikagu too but some Hijikagu is okay as well huhu. hope you enjoy this one, but rest your eyes after!**

 ***anyway, yay I finally could update. It's been a weird transition from having a room all to myself to a room full of family and I sort of felt always watched when I'm trying to write. thank goodness family members nap lol. Anyway, hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

"You're getting sloppy, Is age finally catching up ta ya, Hijikata-san?" Sougo growled, a maniacal smile on his face as he swung at the vice-chief.

Hijikata narrowly avoided the strike and, , with a groan of annoyance, attempted his own attack at Sougo.

"If you keep running your mouth, little bastard, you'll have your a** kicked faster!" Hijikata warned.

The two continuously exchanged blows, both sides trying to get the upper-hand without success.

"Gin-san, this is starting to look bad. Both men aren't backing down." Shinpachi commented, his brow sweating.

"Calm down, Shinpachi. Believe in Hijikata-kun. If you can't do that, believe in the stuff I put in Sofa-kun's food this morning!" Gin said, looking all fired up.

"WAIT WHAT?!" Shinpachi shrieked, "How could you stoop that low? Oy!"

The poor boy could only watch, with a darkened face, as Gintoki took out a timer with the label 'Bye bye Sofa-kun' on it.

The timer turned to zero.

"GYAAAAHHH!" a scream sounded throughout the Shinsengumi compound.

Shinpachi and Gintoki sweated profusely in front of Hijikata.

The vice-chief sported anger marks all over his face and neck.

"THAT was your plan?!" He growled at the two.

Shinpachi flinched back from the furious demon.

"O-oy Hijikata-kun, c-calm down! It's not our fault it didn't work. Who could have guessed the gorilla would eat Sofa-kun's breakfast instead?" Gintoki stammered as he nervously pushed Hijikata's sword away from his neck.

"And just how would giving Sougo laxatives, help him and Kagura get together?" Hijikata growled, shoving his sword right back up against Gintoki.

"Well, y-you see, If Sofa-kun had ate the laxatives and gone kaboom, Then Shinpachi here would act all panicked and call for help. Kagura, being in love with Sofa-kun, will immediately run to him and boom: _Love_ " Gintoki said.

"Love my a**! Your plan is so wishy washy, there's no way it would work out!" Hijikata yelled at his two idiot assistants.

After Kondo had gone 'code-brown' in the middle of the duel, everyone had screamed for a break and ran away from the poor gorilla.

Hijikata had instantly dragged Gintoki and Shinpachi behind one of the buildings to berate them of what they had just done.

"Wait, Hijikata-san, weren't you there when we were planning? Wait, wasn't I also there during the planning?!" Shinpachi shrieked.

They both turned to Gintoki.

"Oy, what the hell happened?" The chorused.

Gintoki gave them a weak smile before throwing the flashback scene at them and running away.

Back to the time the three were planning:

Gintoki and Shinpachi had Hijikata by the collar.

They had dragged him back to Otose's bar , declaring it their headquarters.

After several bad ideas from all three of them, some of which included murdering Sougo, Making Kagura turn lesbian for a cross-dressed Katsura, telling Kyubei that Sougo was selling his b*lls, and several other unhelpful 'hurt Sougo' ideas, the three began to argue and turn rowdy.

The next thing they knew, Gintoki had grabbed some sake out of nowhere and he and Hijikata began drinking, whilst Shinpachi took out a karaoke machine from somewhere and scared off the other customers with blood curling renditions of Otsu-chan songs.

The next day, all three had woken up with a hang over and left separately, without speaking to each other.

Two days later, here they were at the duel.

"So it's your fault! You got us drunk, you bastard!" Hijikata growled at Gintoki.

"Oy, don't blame me, you're the one who brought the alcohol to his own lips!" Gintoki growled back.

"H-how did I get drunk?" Shinpachi growled as well.

"Don't ask us, how are we supposed to know the inner workings of a male, virginal otaku?" Gintoki replied as two imaginary arrows, with the words 'virgin' and 'otaku', embedded themselves into a falling Shinpachi.

Gintoki caught the boy in time, giving Hijikata the opening he needed to strike at Gintoki.

In two seconds flat, the three were squabbling like little children, playground insults and all.

From a short distance away, the women watched them, with faces that showed they were ashamed to know the group of idiots.

"A-anyway, we should get back to our discussion." Tsukuyo said in an attempt to revert to what they had been talking about, before the three men started a commotion.

"I didn't expect the Gorilla to poop bomb the place before the vice-chief could." Sa-chan commented.

"Agreed, Perhaps the dosage wasn't enough?" Tsukuyo said.

Kagura's face darkened, she still couldn't believe the plan they had come up with.

Tsukuyo and Sa-chan had devised a ploy where they drug Hijikata's food so he was rendered unable to continue the duel. Before he could forfeit, Kagura would volunteer to be his second, a rule they had discovered in the duel hand book Hijikata had received from Kondo, and during her fight with Sougo, she'd, well, she'd attack him with a kiss.

If he did like her, like they think he does, then he would kiss back, if he didn't, then Kagura could just feign innocence and say it was an accidental fall on his lips.

Kagura had been conflicted about sacrificing her first kiss for such a plan but, if it could lead to more kisses shared with the sadist, she had to go for it.

"Um, Tsukki, are you sure you put it in the right plate?" Kagura asked.

She had spotted something she wish she hadn't seen.

Tsukki and Sa-chan followed her gaze.

All three of their faces darkened.

There, a short distance away, were Shinpachi and Gintoki, both writhing in pain whilst clutching their stomachs.

"We drugged the wrong idiots!" The three women exclaimed, all color drained from their faces.

If one were to pass by the Shinsengumi infirmary, they'd most likely think it was haunted or something.

Miserable moans and wails erupted from inside, every few seconds.

It almost sounded like tortured souls and restless spirits, thankfully, it was just three idiots having a very bad stomach ache.

Shinpachi and Gintoki had been taken to the infirmary, after a trip to the toilet of course.

They were placed in the same room as Kondo.

Hijikata didn't want to go inside, he didn't care that they were his boss and team mates, he just couldn't bring himself to open the door.

"Move, I need to see my Gin-san!" A screech came from behind him.

He turned around and saw a glassed ninja woman zipping through the Shinsengumi Halls, making her way straight towards him.

He dodged right in time to avoid her as she blasted through the door of the infirmary.

"Sarutobi, stop causing property damage!" Another shout came from the hallway.

Hijikata didn't bother to look surprised this time, as a deadly courtesan zoomed passed him and gave the previous ninja woman a bump on the head.

"I got the medical masks! We should wear it, it probably smells like %&* in there!" another voice, though familiar, came from down the hallway.

This time, the owner of the voice, paused when she saw Hijikata.

"Oh, It's you." Kagura greeted him.

Hijikata spotted the medical masks she was holding and reached out to grab one.

He put it on and without saying a word, and walked through the Sa-chan shaped hole into the infirmary.

Kagura followed suit and went in behind him.

Quite a sight greeted them.

Sa-chan, as always, was harassing Gintoki, she was straddling him in her pink nurse outfit whilst trying to feed him raw sugar, saying that it should make him feel better.

Tsukuyo was frantically apologizing to both Shinpachi and Gintoki about drugging them while she kept a hold of Sa-chan's collar so that she couldn't get her face too close to Gintoki.

For some reason, Otae was also there and was busy stepping on Kondo's face while the chief kissed the sole of the foot that was injuring him.

"Kagura," Hijikata began, he grabbed her hand and turned around, "We got the wrong room."

"Like hell you did!" Several voiced shouted back at him.

Sougo was plenty satisfied with what had happened today.

Sure, his plan had a little delay but it still provided him with great entertainment.

It was lucky that he hadn't had any appetite this morning, or else he'd be the one suffering bouts of diarrhea right now.

The boss and the glasses getting sick as well was a bonus.

Still, he felt like he needed to visit the chief anyway, during the intermission while Yamazaki forced some of the members to clean up the  
Chief's little mess in the duel field.

He arrived at the infirmary at the worst time though.

The female ninja sexually harassing the Yorozuya boss didn't bother him, he didn't really care that the Yoshiwara woman was trying to stop said sexual harassment, nor did he take much notice of the glasses and whatever that guy was doing, heck he didn't even give a damn about the fact that his chief was being beat on again by the glasses' sister.

No, none of that mattered to him when he caught sight of the one thing that really caught his attention. Hijikata was holding China, Sougo's China.

"I'm hurt, you guys were having fun without me." Sougo said, making his presence known.

Hijikata immediately became more alert when he saw who had just arrived.

"Leave it to a sadist to call this chaos 'having fun'." Hijikata spat at him.

This made Sougo smirk.

"Oh this is just a taste of the fun to come. Once the duel is resumed, that's when I'll really enjoy myself, as well as after the duel." at this sentence, he winked at Kagura whom immediately jumped and hid behind Hijikata.

The poor girl felt a poke on her back.

She turned to find Tsukuyo behind her.

"Stay strong with your resolve." The woman advised quietly.

Kagura immediately felt bad, she had let her fear get her again.

She took a deep breath and forced herself away from Hijikata's protective form.

"Just watch sadist, Toshi-san will kick you're a**, your ancestor's a** and even your children's a**!" Kagura growled.

But they will be your children too, though, Sougo found himself thinking.

He instantly regretted it when he felt a blush start to creep up on his cheeks.

Thankfully, Kagura didn't seem to notice.

She was too busy still trash-talking him, though he heard none of it.

"And you will come begging for mercy, with your tail between your knees after you've been killed a third time by Toshi-san!" she finished.

The red-faced girl then grabbed her fake-boyfriend by the arm and began dragging him away.

"Now, If you'll excuse us, Toshi-san and I are gonna go puff puff before the duel resumes, so he can be all fired up! Let's go, Darling!" Kagura practically screamed.

All of the room's occupants, including her 'darling', stared at her, not knowing how to react.

Toshi let himself get dragged away by Kagura, leaving the rest with a scarily quiet Sougo.

"O-okita-kun, d-don't worry about it! Kagura doesn't have enough sex-appeal to even get Hijikata-kun to 'stand up'. They won't be doing any puff puff." Gintoki stammered from underneath Sa-chan.

"Gin-san is right, the brat probably doesn't even know how to puff puff!" Sa-chan added.

The whole room watched with bated breath as Sougo finally moved.

"GYAAAAAAHHH!" a chorus of screams came from the infirmary building.

The rest of the members simply assumed though, that the three men were just bombing the toilet again.

"Yamazaki, you're refereeing now. Let's start soon, I wanna get this over with." A scary voice came from behind Yamazaki.

The spy flinched when he saw the look Sougo was sporting, as he arrived from the direction of the screams.

"S-sure, Captain! The cleaning is almost done, once the vice-chief arrives. We can resume." Yamazaki said hurriedly with a salute.

"Don't wait for that bastard to show up!" Sougo snapped, "send some men to look for him and drag his a** here. Tell them to barge in even if they hear 'noises' inside!"

With that, the captain stomped off, looking like he was ready to cut down everyone in his path.

Yamazaki carried out the orders and soon had men scouring the compound for Hijikata.

Their target though, was in the least expected place to be.

The Shinsengumi cafeteria.

"What the hell was that 'puff puff' business about, huh?" Hijikata growled at his fake girlfriend.

The girl waved his question off with a flick of her hand and, instead, laid out a bowl of ramen in front of him.

"What's this?" Hijikata asked.

"Ramen aru." Kagura said.

"I know it's ramen, I meant why are you giving it to me!?" Hijikata snapped.

He was already embarrassed by her when she implied they were going to do the deed in front of the people they knew, and now she was being annoying.

"You need to eat." Kagura told him.

She gave him the most innocent-looking smile she could muster whilst nervously clutching the empty bottle of laxatives behind her back.

"Not hungry." Hijikata said simply.

An anger mark appeared on Kagura's forehead.

"But I made it specially for you." She tried to say in a cute way.

"Yeah right, I saw you take it out of the chef's fridge and microwaving it" Hijikata replied.

"Dammit, just eat it!" Kagura growled, she grabbed his face and started pouring the ramen bowl's contents down his throat, "Is that how you speak to your mother?"

"You're not my mother though ghughgugh!" Hijikata tried to say.

"That's right I'm your girlfriend, which should be more important, Your mother doesn't let you do this and that to her, does she?" Kagura growled, slapping Hijikata's hands away as he tried to get her to stop.

"What the hell do you mean 'this and that'? we don't do anything like that!" Hijikata growled as he finally managed to push the bowl away.

"Oh, so you're complaining that I'm not giving it out? Just because I want to wait until marriage! Men really do only have one thing on their minds!" Kagura wailed dramatically.

"What the hell are yout alking about, China?! You're really starting to piss me off!" Hijikata shouted while narrowly avoiding another bowl attack from Kagura.

Instead of hitting her target, She yelped as her foot hit one of the tables, causing her to fall and spill all the drugged ramen.

"No!" Kagura let out as the last of her laxatives got wasted on the floorboards.

Hijikata 'tch!'-ed and straghtened himself up.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but I'll talk to you later. I gotta head back to the duel now." He told her before leaving.

Kagura punched the floor in frustration and anger at herself.

She had ruined the plan.

"Damn, I forgot to put the mayonnaise on the ramen." she said in a small voice.

As soon as Hijikata returned to the duel field, Yamazaki began the announcements of resuming the duel.

The spectators filed back in, including Sa-chan, Tsukuyo and Otae.

The latter had come because Kondo, in an attempt to gain her favor, called her and told her about Shinpachi's sudden sickness.

The three women tried to spot Kagura in the crowd but all they saw were Shinsengumi members.'

"Where could she be, Her boyfriend is right there so she can't be puff puff-ing with him." Sa-chan said, "Unless, she is doing it by herse-!"

She had earned a hit from Tsukuyo.

"Anyway, the match is starting, she will probably get back soon. She won't want to miss this." Tsukuyo commented.

"I hope things work out for Kagura-chan." Otae said. She had finally heard about what's really been going on. The way things were going worried her greatly.

They watched as Yamazaki nervously waved his arm to mark the re-start of the duel.

Hijikata and Sougo clashed once again.

Kagura had hear the announcement, but made no move to get up off the floor of the cafeteria.

She already knew the outcome of the match.

Hijikata was a great fighter, but Sougo was just better.

Even when he promised her that he wouldn't lose, Her fake-boyfriend didn't stand a chance against a serious sadist and Kagura couldn't bring herself to watch the loss.

It was then that the cheering from the duel could be heard.

Kagura's eyes widened.

No way.

The members were screaming the name of the guy who was winning.

She immediately got up and ran towards the duel grounds.

The cheering was getting louder with each step.

"Go, Vice-chief go! Hijikata for the win!" came from a bit of a distance away, in front of her.

She allowed herself to smile.

She couldn't believe it.

"Good job Mayo- uh I mean, Toshi-san!" She whispered to herself with glee.

It was when she arrived at the light at the end of the hallway, that she realized how silent it had suddenly gotten.

"Toshi-san?" Kagura let out, right at the moment when Hijikata fell to the ground.

A dark faced Sougo stood above him.

Seconds passed in utter quiet.

"W-winner, Okita Sougo!" Yamazaki announced, recovering first.

No one cheered.

Sougo took this silence as an opportunity to hit the last nail on the coffin.

"Hijikata, I have one last proposition for you. Give me China, and I give you back your position."

The crowd gasped in shock.

Even Kagura found herself open-mouthed.

The vice-chief stayed silent.

His face was covered with his own blood, from a gash on his forehead.

His uniform was in tatters but, thankfully, one could still see his chest rising and falling.

Sougo continued remorselessly

"I repeat, Hijikata. You can be vice-chief again if you give me-!"

"I heard you the first time, Bastard."

Kagura let out a sigh of relief as Hijikata got up.

"You can have the vice-chief position. I ain't giving Kagura to you." Hijikata told Sougo.

He spat out some blood at Sougo's feet.

"Now, if you'll excuse me. I'd like to request the rest of the day off, Vice-chief Okita."

And without waiting for a reply, Hijikata turned around and began to leave.

The other members made way for him.

He reached Kagura.

"Let's go." he told her before grabbing her hand in his and walking them both out of the compound.

Yamazaki ran after them.

"Vice-ch-! ah I mean Hijikata-san! Your wounds, you need medical attention!" He shouted.

Hijikata gave him a wave of his hand.

"I'm good, I have a girlfriend to look after me." and with that, he turned to smirk at Sougo, before wrapping an arm around Kagura and disappearing into the distance.

Yamazaki forced himself to look at the new vice-chief.

He expected a scary-faced Okita, but, instead, he found Sougo smirking as well.

"What?" Yamazaki asked in disbelief.

Was he seeing things?

"Yo, zaki. Go get Kondo-san out of the infirmary and into my new office. I'll meet you guys there." Sougo ordered, he then turned to the rest of the men, "Get back to work, There's a new guy in charge. Anyone who disobeys me, gets whipped fifty times, while naked, in front of a crowd."

The men moved immediately.

Sougo's smile widened.

He may not have gotten the girl this time, but the new power sure felt good.

Plus, he had plenty more 'get China' plans in his book.

One way or another, she'd be his.

"We'll see who'll be doing the puff puff all over the compound, then." He muttered to himself.

"What was that, vice-chief?" Yamazaki asked.

"N-nothing, go carry out my orders!" Sougo growled.

Yamazaki gulped in fear as the sadist took out a whip from out of nowhere and began lashing at the air menacingly.

Oh dear, I think I chose the wrong person to help, Yamazaki thought to himself.

* * *

 **I don't know when I can update again, I had to commandeer a laptop from my mom, but I will try to do weekly updates. \^_^/**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Kimchimustard: First of all, great username _. Also, thanks! glad you liked it! Yeah, Sougo deserved it, he needs to work harder to get a girl like Kagura. And ah Thanks! I feel all fluffy and happy when people say my story sounds gintama-like, it's the best possible compliment! Hope you enjoy this one as well /.**

 **Koukaz: Your wait is over! Duhn duhn duhn! Hope you enjoy the okikagu moment in this one, it will take your breath away, or at least it took Kagura's breath away *wink wink* haha. Anyway, hope you like this chapter as well.**

 **Mira: Aw thanks! and sorry for making you wait then if you're addicted T_T . Hope this is as good as the previous one, enjoy!**

 **Keks503: Thanks! I'm glad my writing style is easy on you guys / ah i feel happy! Also, yay! I hate OOC-ness as well so I try to not commit it myself. Glad you enjoyed last chapter, and don't worry, Hijikata will get his position back later #_#. Hope you like this one as well!**

 **IDon'thaveAnAcct: First of all, thanks for taking the time to review even without an acc! And i absolutely welcome critique! I won't make excuses so yeah, I admit, I usually write each chapter in one sitting, edit it like twice then post; So I'm pretty sure I have lots of little mistakes in grammar and punctuation here and there. Sorry! I'll try to be more careful, and you're absolutely right about the capital letters for the start of the Chief and Captain etc titles. They look way better to read too. thanks for the review and hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **meshi-chan: haha aw, well we love Sougo, even when he is a sweet, cute jerk _. Also, hope your essay went well, hope this chapter makes you smile as well!**

 **Addicted-to-Okinawa-and-BTS: oooh! _ want them to whaaaat? and ahh i read it after you suggested it and wow, it is hot !_! . Haha. Hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 **Hidude: Really? yay! I'm glad I'm channeling Sougo pretty well, though that makes me question my own level of sadism lol. Hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 ***So once again, I'm experimenting something in this chapter, It's the kind of scene I've never written before so cut me some slack _ . I appreciate critiques! Hope you guys enjoy!**

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Hijikata towed Kagura through the streets of Edo.

The things that happened at the duel were still fresh on their minds, though some details were a bit hazy.

It was only when they arrived at Yorozuya did they remember those very crucial details.

"AH!" Kagura exclaimed while Hijikata began to sweat drop.

The former Vice-chief flinched when the yato female turned on him.

"What the hell did you just do?!" Kagura shrieked, not knowing whether to feel angry or sick to her stomach. The Sadist had just basically said he wanted her and they had walked away.

"Don't blame me! You really want to get together with him that way? That bastard probably just did that to make my defeat worse." Hijikata defended himself.

"B-but still! I-" But Kagura didn't know what to say.

There WAS a huge possibility that Sougo had done the whole 'Give me your girlfriend' schist all for the fun of making Hijikata's loss feel worse.

He had given little indication that he was focused on her now, so far it was all Hijikata this, Vice-chief that.

She didn't know whether she wanted to kiss-attack him or to just attack him.

"Damn Sadist!" She muttered.

Hijikata nodded in agreement.

"I said that I'd help get you two together but, If it's in that manner, I ain't letting you go. You deserve better." He told the now silent girl.

She nodded solemnly then walked up the stairs to the Yorozuya.

Hijikata watched her from where he stood.

He was torn between going after her and consoling her and going off by himself to mope about the recent turn of events and the loss of his position.'

It took all his will to not show how shi*y he felt in front of Kagura.

He knew the girl would just blame herself again.

"Oy, are you gonna be okay?" Hijikata forced himself to ask.

"Un." Kagura let out, not looking at him.

The former Vice-chief sighed then followed her up the stairs.

"C'mon." He said when he caught up to Kagura.

He took her hand and lead her inside.

Scanning the living room, Hijikata fought the urge to seek out the idiotic Yorozuya boss and use his messy hair to mop the place squeaky clean.

How could that bastard let a young woman live in such a pig sty?

He kicked the empty chips bags and dirty laundry off of the couch before settling himself and Kagura on it.

"If you're blaming yourself right now for what happened, then stop. It's not anyone's fault except that Sadistic Bastard's." Hijikata told her after a while.

"But I-" Kagura started.

"Look, if you even so much as think about giving yourself to him so that he'd give back my position, I'll tell Kondo-san to never give me any power ranking in the Shinsengumi ever again." Hijikata growled, '"I already said it before, You deserve better. I want that bastard to properly admit his feelings and get you the right way."

Hijikata flinched when he noticed the way Kagura stared at him.

"Mayora, y-you…" Kagura began, "You can't be in love with me, are you?!" she burst with a dramatic hand gesture to her chest.

"Like hell I am!" Hijikata growled.

Damn brat, right when he was being all serious, she had to turn it into a comedic moment.

That's It, I'm leaving to the bar and drinking this sh*t day away, He thought to himself.

Right when he was about to get up, he felt a small hand grip his own.

"Thank you." Kagura said in a small voice.

"Don't mention it." Hijikata replied.

In a smaller voice, Kagura asked, "Can you stay a bit?"

Hijikata silently obliged and sat himself back down.

It caused quite a commotion when the two other Yorozuya members came home and found them asleep on the couch, Kagura's head resting on Hijikata's shoulder while he had his cheek snuggled against her hair.

It's a good thing Hijikata and Kagura got a bit of rest, they needed it for what would happen next.

It seemed peaceful at first.

News of the new Vice-chief spread fast across Edo but no incidents have occurred with the new head in charge.

The Shinsengumi members themselves were quite surprised that, after the initial threats of public whippings and other forms of torture and punishment, Vice-chief Okita had been quite behaved since gaining his new title.

Hijikata had been demoted to First-squad Captain and was being pretty quiet as well.

Kagura would still visit her fake boyfriend at the compound, but only when Hijikata was officially on a break and what not. They didn't want to give Okita any reason to punish Hijikata.

The couple had decided to keep up the relationship farce.

The fact that Hijikata wasn't the Vice-chief anymore, actually gave him more free time since, aside from the usual patrol that everyone had to do, the first squad mostly did only the most dangerous missions and those were pretty rare in occurrence.

This gave the fake couple the opportunity to rub their fake relationship in Sougo's face more at the compound while the sadist did paper work and problem solving all day.

It was a small revenge for all the trouble he'd caused them.

"Ha, No wonder that bastard napped all the time. He had nothing to do." Hijikata commented on the fourth day of being the First-squad Captain.

"I see they let you smoke again." Kagura said as she fanned her Boyfriend's fumes out of her face.

"Sorry," Hijikata apologized, he faced the other way this time to exhale, "After the duel, everyone seemed to have forgotten all about the other part of that petition. So I thought, What the heck."

Kagura sighed, she wished they had forgotten everything about that petition.

All of a sudden, Hijikata cupped her chin and drew his face closer to hers.

"Oy, I already told you to stop feeling guilty about that, Honey." He murmured.

Her cheeks instantly burned red.

"W-what are you doing?' Kagura stammered.

Hijikata's eyes flicked to his right.

Kagura followed their direction.

There, watching them from his office window, was Sougo.

"Vice-chief! I got the reports you wante-" they heard a random Shinsengumi member announce.

They watched Sougo turn around to greet the newcomer.

"Ah, good good. I was just about to throw up from seeing something disgusting. Thanks for giving me a distraction, You're dismissed." Sougo said loud enough to carry across the courtyard, straight to the couple's ears.

Kagura immediately became irritated.

"Kyaaah, Toshi-san, don't put your hand there!" she wailed in the same volume as the sadist.

With his back still turned, Okita sighed loudly.

"AAaaah, If only I had bleach for my eyes! What I just saw was pure sh*t!" Sougo let out.

"Take me, Toshi-san!" Kagura shouted, an anger mark forming on her forehead as she glared at the sadist's back.

"Damn, I feel sick just thinking about what I just saw." Okita groaned.

"HijiKagu forever!" Kagura literally screamed.

Okita *Vomits*.

"THAT'S IT! I'm gonna kill him!" Kagura roared, jumping up and making her way towards Sougo.

"Oy! Calm down!" Hijikata yelled, he grabbed her waist and pulled her back.

The girl lost her balance and fell over.

The commotion caused Sougo to turn around and look.

His face instantly darkened.

Kagura was on her back with Hijikata sprawled on top of her, his face was mushed against her chest.

Out of nowhere, a compound wide announcement came.

"Yamazaki Sugaru, Your Vice-chief wants to speak to you."

The sudden noise broke the couple from their initial shock, Hijikata immediately peeled his face away from Kagura's chest while Kagura turned red all over.

"S-sorry It was an-" But Hijikata was drowned out by another announcement.

"Oy Zaki, get your ass to my office right now."

The couple turned to find Sougo with the intercom to his mouth, while he glared daggers at them.

A bump suddenly came from the floor boards below Hijikata and Kagura.

"Ow!" a familiar voice sounded from below.

Kagura, still flustered from Hijikata's unprecedented sexual harassment act, couldn't stand anymore surprises and promptly put her foot through the floor.

"H-hello!" Yamazaki greeted from underneath them.

And, before the couple could gather their wits and attack him for spying on them, Yamazaki ran for it.

He arrived at Sougo's office out of breath.

"You called?" He managed to ask in between huffs.

"Well, what did you see back there?" Sougo growled.

He swiftly closed the window so that no one could hear them.

"It's as you thought Capta-ah! I mean Vice-chief. For some reason, they're exaggerating their relationship. The China girl and Captain Hijikata weren't doing the puff puff at all, regardless of what you heard earlier." Yamazaki reported.

After arguing, threatening and blackmailing, Okita had gotten him to spy on Hijikata and Kagura.

At first, Yamazaki didn't want to do it because he feared for his life.

Being discovered by a Yato and a demon Captain was a scary thought.

It was when he was already under the floorboards of Hijikata's office did he realize another reason why he shouldn't be doing this.

Yamazaki would have to bear witness to any 'moments' shared between the two, that included possible R-rated ones.

He was relieved beyond belief when all the couple did was talk.

The spy had begun to wonder if they even were a couple at all when the 'catching Sougo staring at them' event occurred.

That's when things started to look very suspicious.

It almost looked like the couple took this as a cue to start acting affectionate with each other.

When the China girl had started to make verbal implications that they were engaging in more sexual activities, Yamazaki had panicked and almost crawled out of there.

He had stopped when the memory of all Okita's threats resurfaced in his mind and, instead, forced himself to do his job and spy.

Yamazaki was quite surprised when he found the supposed couple, nowhere near doing what they sounded like they were doing.

He reported all this to Okita.

Perhaps the captain could make sense of it all.

Of course, this was Sougo and Sougo had a strange way of seeing things.

So, it came to no surprise that he concluded, from all that Yamazaki had said and from what he had seen himself, that Kagura was feeling dissatisfied with her relationship with Hijikata and that she wants to cheat on him with Sougo.

Sougo couldn't help but smile evilly.

He could make this work.

The girl was obviously trying to seduce him by using Hijikata to catch his attention and by making those sexual implications.

She was probably just too shy to start the affair herself and wanted him to initiate it, by tempting him with all her shenanigans.

She must have realized he wanted her as well, back in the duel, Sougo thought to himself.

Yamazaki visibly shivered when he heard the low rumbling coming from Okita.

The guy was chuckling creepily again and Yamazaki didn't like what that meant one bit.

He felt like crying, here we go again, he thought, another scheme to steal China was on the way.

"Zaki, cancel all your plans this weekend, I need your help." Okita ordered.

Dammit, Yamazaki thought.

The trouble began the day after Kagura's visit to the Shinsengumi compound.

Hijikata had adviced her to not come again for a while, since they didn't know how much Yamazaki had heard or seen.

"Damn Jimmy!" Kagura muttered. She had nothing to do now.

For some reason, ever since the day of the duel, Gin and Shinpachi had not been including her in the jobs they received.

They would just run out of the house saying, "Got another job, you don't have to help. Don't follow us alright?!"

Strangely, Kagura couldn't see any evidence that a client had come over to request anything.

She sighed.

Never mind those two, at least it gave her the time to focus on the sadist business.

That is, until now.

Now she couldn't go over to the compound and make him jealous as well.

She literally had nothing to do.

She sighed again.

Maybe she should go for a walk?

The streets of Edo was quite busy today, probably because of the upcoming winter festival.

Kagura winded through the crowd under her umbrella.

She tried to think of things to do.

Maybe she could visit someone, or go laugh at Madao or something?

Just when she was lost in her thoughts of a crying homeless man, some guy in a hood bumped into her and, to her shock, took her umbrella with him.

Kagura immediately gave chase.

"Give it back!" She screamed at the thief.

Where were those damn tax robbers when you needed them? She thought, completely ignoring the fact that her crush and fake boyfriend were a key part of that group of tax-robbers.

"I will get you, dammit!" She growled as she zipped through the crowd in pursuit.

The thief kept up his pace as well, not letting her catch up even by a centimeter.

Whoever it was had to be an amanto or something.

She knew very few humans who were fast like that.

As she ran, she noticed that the thief had lead her to a different area.

They were now in the more seedier district of Edo.

Love hotels, host clubs and bars littered the streets.

All of a sudden, she lost sight of him in the mass of people.

Sougo had to hand it to Yamazaki, he had expected the spy to get caught in the first few meters during the chase with China.

Yet, probably with the fear of a scary amanto girl driving him, he managed to last all the way to the designated place Sougo had told him to lead her to.

Yamazaki, while struggling to catch his breath, handed Kagura's umbrella to Sougo then fainted from exhaustion.

"Good job, Zaki." Sougo complimented while studying his prize.

The sadist knelt down to pull the hood over Yamazaki's head.

It wouldn't be good if Kagura found out that the thief was him.

You're lucky you fainted, Zaki, Sougo thought, that way I didn't have to knock you out myself.

Now all he had to do was wait.

The plan was simple, heck it was overused.

A thief would steal the girl's precious possession, the guy would stop the thief and take said possession back for her and the girl would be so grateful towards the guy that she'd puff puff him at the nearby love hotel…or some other variation but whatever, Sougo thought, if he was right and China wanted him to initiate the 'relationship' between them, then his plan was prefect.

Rescuing her umbrella gave her the perfect excuse to thank him…with her body.

Sougo smirked, of course, after several more rendezvous together, he was sure he could convince her to leave Hijikata altogether and be all his.

Sougo twirled the umbrella around in boredom.

The girl wasn't here yet.

Was Yamazaki so fast that he'd put a great distance between them?

It was then that he heard it.

It sounded like a deeper foghorn from a distance.

When it got closer, the sound became more human and soon, he realized it was someone belching out one syllable.

"WOOOOOOOOOOH!" Kagura ripped through crowds of people, shooting straight towards Sougo.

"About time you got here, China. I was just ab-" Sougo began but chocked when he noticed that she wasn't slowing down.

If she continued like that, she'd literally run him over.

"SAAADDIIIISSSTTTT! GIVE ME BACK MY UMBRELLA YOU BASTARD!" Kagura screamed.

Sougo's face turned completely bank.

"Um, uh China? Wait-I-uh. Oy, s-stop-AARRGHHH!" He tried to say but was cut short when a Kagura missile hit him.

"YOU BASTARD! FIRST YOU STEAL MAYORA'S POSITION AND NOW YOU STEAL MY UMBRELLA?! WHAT ELSE YOU GONNA STEAL? HUH?!" Kagura screamed.

Your virginity, Sougo would have said out loud if he wasn't currently being beat on by an angry amanto girl.

"Oy! Calm down, It wasn't me who stole your umbrella!" Okita growled while trying to block her punches.

"Like hell I'd believe that!" Kagura shrieked, poking through his defenses and landing several hits on him.

"Dammit China, get off!" Sougo choked out after a breath stopping punch landed on his gut.

Another punch hit him right on his temple and he saw stars.

In his daze, he felt moisture on his face and arms.

Was it raining? He asked himself

His throat ran dry.

Sougo's vision had cleared enough to reveal a crying Kagura, hitting aimlessly at him.

"China, you-?" He tried to ask.

"Why are you such an idiot!? Why is everything so horrible and hard with you?!" She cried.

Okita didn't know how to reply.

He stared wide-eyed as more tears fell on him from the girl he loved.

In an instant, he had both of her arms in his grip.

"Let go!" Kagura shrieked, struggling with what strength she could muster.

"Kagura…" Sougo muttered, causing the girl to freeze.

She opened her teary eyes to stare at him.

He just called her by her name.

No China, no brat, no miss piggy.

If this had been a different situation, she would have celebrated in joy.

"Sadist, what are you-" But she didn't get to finish her question.

Sougo had captured her lips.

Her brain instantly melted, her body became lax.

Sougo took this as a sign to keep going.

He placed her arms around his neck.

Well, she wasn't choking him so I guess it's okay, Sougo thought.

Slowly, he slid his own arms around her waist and brought their bodies closer to each other.

His groin was left un-kicked and undamaged so that was also good.

Now, he focused more on the actual kissing.

Seeing as she hadn't bitten him or anything yet, maybe his kiss was being received positively.

Therefore, he continued.

Her lips were just as soft as he'd imagined them to be.

He flicked his tongue against them.

They tasted like a pleasant combination of sweetness and sourness.

He liked it, he wanted more.

He flicked his tongue at her lips again and was rewarded with them opening slightly.

Sougo opened his eyes a bit to see her reaction.

He couldn't help but smirk against her lips, when he saw the pinkish hue on her cheeks and the way her eyes were fluttered shut.

Sougo plunged his tongue through Kagura's lips.

The girl let out an audible moan with a slight squeak of surprise.

But Sougo didn't give her time to reconsider letting him in, as he began exploring her mouth.

His hands were just about to go exploring as well when he felt several swords poking his neck.

"Stop this now, Okita-san!"

"Get your filthy hands off of her, Bastard!"

"You've gone too far, Sougo."

Okita groaned internally with disappointment, when he felt Kagura's lips leave his.

The girl seemed to have finally woken up from her trance.

She stared at Sougo then at the newcomers then at Sougo again.

"AAAaaah!" Kagura screamed then promptly pushed Okita away from her.

Of course, since she was practically sitting on his torso, he had nowhere to be pushed away to but onto the ground.

Sougo's head met the concrete and, as he slowly lost consciousness, he looked on, with blurring vision, as Shinpachi, Gintoki and Hijikata glared down at him.

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 **Duhn Duhn Duhn! see you next swim time!...kidding, see you next lesson!**

 **Also, if anyone is reading the manga, OMG HEDORO FINALLY! /**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Liljani: haha sorry, hope you didn't disturb anyone with your scream. Hope you scream in this one as well, there's plenty more kissing *wink wink***

 **Patsuan: Thanks! and yay, glad you like the kiss. I was unsure about how I'd written it but glad people liked it. Hope you enjoy the kissing in this one too \\(^_^)/ lol.**

 **Kimchimustard: haha aw MayoKimchi sounds cuter. it sort of sounds like a ship name for Hijikata and Mitsuba lol. Also, ikr? ojisans are damn annoying lol. Don't worry, there's more kissing here...just not what you'd expect though, mwahaha.**

 **XTataraX: yay ikr? about time the OkiKagu happened, damn author, being so slow about it! Oh wait... |(^_^)| hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 *****here it is guys, new chapter, I realize I've been dragging the story a bit, so I cut out some scenes I wanted to put into the story and just skipped to the near-conclusion part. Hope you enjoy this one as well, criticisms are welcome!**

* * *

Sougo woke with a jolt.

Huh? He thought to himself.

Why was it so dark?

He forced himself to get up.

A searing pain immediately erupted in the back of his head.

"Ack!" Sougo let out.

"Ah, you're awake! Chief, the Vice-chief's gained back consciousness!" Yamazaki's voice came.

Sougo looked around for his subordinate, only to be shocked by the discovery of his surroundings.

"Oy Zaki," Sougo called, spotting the spy standing a few meters away, "Why the hell am I in a jail cell?"

Yamazaki regarded him nervously, "Well, you see, Vice-Chief, you were sort of charged for burglary by China." The spy told him really fast.

Sougo threw his hands upon the cell bars in anger, "Stop f*cking around, Zaki, and let me out of here!"

The memory of the kiss had finally resurfaced, and he wanted to do nothing more than to confront China about it. Mainly because he wanted to continue where they had left off, before those damn idiots had interrupted.

"S-sorry sir, I can't let you out." Yamazaki apologized.

"One hundred lashes and a naked crawl on all fours, across Kabuki-cho, so that little robot crush of yours sees every bit of your shame." Sougo told him, making the spy shiver at the thought.

"Gah, please don't blame me! They're orders from the Chief!" Yamazaki whined.

Sougo looked him straight in the eye, before making crawling gestures with his fingers and occasionally mimicking the sound of a whip with his mouth.

Yamazaki immediately rushed out to look for the Chief, leaving Sougo still in captivity.

"Dammit!" Sougo let out.

"Oyoyoy, swearing won't get you anywhere, Okita-kun. It's your fault anyways, you little sh*t!" A familiar voice came from a nearby cell.

Sougo quickly looked for the speaker, only to be greeted with three murderous glares, aimed his way.

"What are you bastards doing in here?" he asked in his usual dead pan tone, unflinchingly facing their killer looks head-on.

"For beating on your garbage ass, you bastard!" Hijikata and Gintoki chorused, shoving their faces through the bars.

"I was arrested just because I was with them." Shinpachi added in a depressed voice.

"Stop playing innocent, I saw you land a kick or two, lying Megane!" Gintoki growled.

"If you ask me, we didn't beat him enough to get arrested over." Hijikata grumbled.

Gintoki turned to him, eyes bulging, "Hijikata-kun, that's not helping our case ya know!?"

"Well, you guys just keep arguing over there, I'm gonna take a nap until Kondo-san comes and sets me free." Sougo said nonchalantly, as he settled himself against the back wall of his cell.

"Oy, don't act like this has nothing to do with you!" All three men shouted in vain at an already sleeping Sougo.

Several hours later and a very hilarious, but traumatizing for the parties involved, incident concerning the usage of the in-cell toilet, the prisoners were all finally set free.

Or at least taken out of their cells and brought to the Shinsengumi Chief's office.

They were greeted with a serious-faced Kondo and a blushing Kagura.

"Oy, you okay?" Gintoki immediately inquired when he saw his brat.

"Y-yes." She replied, avoiding eye-contact.

But Gintoki could sense that something was up.

It was safe to say that Kagura was traumatized by the day she was having.

First of all, she was robbed, then she found out the one who robbed her was her crush.

Then her crush violated her and got caught by her fake boyfriend and her kind of brothers slash fathers, in the act of being violated. Then she had to witness her crush getting beat up by the previous three men, after he had already been knocked unconscious by her, accidentally. To top it all off, she had to spend hours being interrogated by a gorilla, whom had the weirdest interrogation techniques and questions ever.

From inquiries about her relationship history, her current satisfaction level for her love life, the characteristics of her ideal man and what not, the gorilla had pretty much covered everything that could make Kagura blush.

She drew the line when Kondo had asked her about the birds and the bees and if she and Hijikata had done it.

After giving the Chief a bump on the head, the perverted gorilla asked her who she thought robbed her umbrella.

She immediately regretted saying the sadist because it had started them on a whole new, strange, direction, where Kondo showed her endless amounts of pictures, featuring Sougo in various poses and situations.

Even now, Kagura's head was still in a buzz of Sadists, Former first-squad Captains and Kaiser.

Hijikata noticed the strange look in his girlfriend's eyes and attempted to catch her attention, by putting his face real close to hers.

This instantly triggered Sougo to shove an arm between the two of them.

"Hey bastard, what do you think you're doing?" Hijikata asked testily.

Sougo faced him with a blank expression.

"Trying to keep everyone's lunch in their stomachs. No one wants to see some old man all lovey dovey with a girl almost half his age." He replied, "Also, that's Vice-Chief to you. Call me Bastard again and I'll make sure you join in on Zaki's punishment."

The two men glared dangerously at each other.

The rest of the room feared another fight would occur, until Kagura interrupted.

"I kiss whoever I want!" She growled, pushing Sougo's arm out of her face.

"Hmm? Does that mean you wanted that kiss I gave you?" Sougo inquired with a smirk.

Kagura blushed, causing the mischievous glint in Sougo's eyes to shine brighter.

Forgetting that there were three men in the room that would attack him at a moment's notice, he moved closer to the flustered girl.

"I-I uh didn't - I wasn't- That kiss was forced I-!" Kagura stammered, pulling back from him.

Just as Sougo was about to edge closer to her, he felt a tug at his collar.

"Um, excuse me, Vice-Chief, get the hell away from my girlfriend!" Hijikata growled in his ear.

Sougo turned on him.

"Are your panties all up in a bunch because I've kissed her and you haven't?" He asked with that annoyingly innocent look of his.

Hijikata 'tch!'-ed and clumsily pulled Sougo, by his collar, closer.

"W-what are you talking about? I've kissed her p-plenty of times! Right H-honey?" Hijikata asked, his eyes pleading to Kagura for support.

"A-ah yeah, Darling!" Kagura attempted.

Sougo's smirk grew into a sneer.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you kiss her now and prove it?" He asked the couple.

Sougo knew it was a gamble, on one hand, he might just prove that something was off with this 'relationship', on the other hand, he could just be dooming himself into having to watch the girl he loved, kiss another man.

Hijikata absentmindedly let go of Sougo, he was too busy having a mental freak out with Kagura as they stared at each other.

That's when Kagura noticed Gin and Shinpachi in the room as well.

She caught her dear Gin-chan's eyes and tried to silently ask for his help.

The man blinked a few times before his eyes widened in realization.

Kagura almost let out a huge sigh of relief when Gintoki gave her a secret thumbs up.

She knew she could always count on him.

"Wait just a minute there, Okita-kun! It's rude to force a couple to prove their love!" Gin began one of his usual long-winding babbles, "What is so special about a kiss anyway? It doesn't prove anything. If you ask me, kissing is sort of disgusting. I mean, how would you know if the other person's mouth is clean? You use your mouth to eat, dammit! Your partner's maw should be ninety nine point nine percent sanitary if your gonna put your only body part for eating on it. Plus, people who don't even love each other, kiss all the time. Observe!"

Gintoki then proceeded to do something that probably signed his death sentence right then and there.

With Hijikata and Okita still inches away from each other, he grabbed both, by the back of their heads, and shoved their faces together. Their lips were instantly connected.

Kagura, Shinpachi and Kondo felt the blood drain from their faces as they watched the whole thing.

"See? A kiss is just a kiss!" Gintoki said with a shaky voice.

And, as if Okita and Hijikata kissing wasn't enough to traumatize everyone, he grabbed Shinpachi's face and locked lips with the poor guy.

"Nothing to it!" Gin said after separating from a red-faced glasses.

It was at this moment that Hijikata and Okita recovered enough to separate from each other.

"I'm gonna kill you-!" Hijikata began, his sword out and ready to slice up an idiot perm-head.

Gintoki couldn't think of anything else to do but grab his face as well and plant one right on his angry, trembling lips.

"Let's not forget Gorilla!" Gintoki shouted after letting go of a stunned Hijikata.

With a 'too late to turn back now' expression in his crazed eyes, Gin threw Shinpachi against Kondo, causing the two to lock lips as well.

"Hehehe see? A kiss doesn't mean anything!" Gin declared, standing up with his arms wide open.

All around him, stunned men that felt terribly violated, sat frozen.

Even with the door suddenly opening, the men didn't move.

"Chief! I got the release pape-" Yamazaki began, before noticing the aura inside the room.

"Oh Jimmy, too bad, you missed it!" Gintoki told the spy.

Yamazaki looked around at all the petrified faces in the room, and silently thanked every deity he knew that he'd missed whatever had happened.

"I'll just come back later." He announced, already a short distance away.

After the kiss fest, it took all of them a while to recover.

By the time any could talk coherently again, it was almost night time.

"Ahem, I think it's best that I sign your release papers now and we can discuss everything some other day." Kondo announced.

All the men were sitting far apart from each other.

They all stayed a considerably larger distance away from Gintoki in particular.

"I say we don't see each other for a while." Shinpachi suggested.

"What's the big deal? A kiss is just a-" Gintoki began.

"DON'T SAY THE 'K' WORD!" Everyone else chorused.

"The very few kisses in my life had been with a pandemonium, a gorilla and a curly haired old man. I feel like dying." Shinpachi muttered, rocking back and forth while hugging himself.

"What's the big deal? At least you didn't get the Sadist combo." Hijikata spat, "I think they infected me with something."

Over at his desk, Kondo whispered something, with a tear in his eye, that sounded like 'my first kiss is gone.'

"Shut up, Gorilla, at least you kissed a Shimura, its close enough." Gintoki mercilessly told him.

In the far corner, Sougo could be heard listing out things that he was considering cleaning his mouth with, after the kiss with Hijikata.

"Laundry detergent, bleach, boiling water, acid…" The sadist went on.

Perhaps It was the momentum of all the confessions about kisses and what not, but Kagura didn't think twice when she said, "Lucky for you guys, my first kiss was stolen by a sadist!"

It was then that she noticed all the men staring at her.

Gintoki, Shinpachi and Hijikata all look mortified while both Sougo and Kondo had on surprised, but slightly excited, expressions on their faces.

"Ah, China! So you admit that you and Toshi have never kissed before!" Kondo shouted in triumph.

Hijikata swore under his breath.

Kagura turned red.

Sougo smirked.

"Well, well, well. The jig is up. I knew you guys were faking it." Sougo said, sneering.

He got up and went over to Kagura.

The poor girl blushed even redder when he put his face real close to hers.

"Tell me, Kagura," Sougo breathed in her ear, "Why'd you pretend to date Hijikata-san?"

Kagura had never really panicked before, but with her breathing suddenly becoming ragged and her mind going into a daze, she was definitely panicking now.

What do I do? What do I say?, Questions like these ran through her mind as she stared into the sadist's eyes.

Her mouth felt so dry, she couldn't form words at all.

"I uh-ah I- Bu-" She tried.

Sougo's eyes bored into hers.

She couldn't take it anymore.

Everything was ruined.

She didn't want to face him.

Wait a minute, she didn't have to face him.

Kagura was just about to get up and run away when-

"She's in love with you, you idiot." A voice came.

She hurriedly looked at the owner of the voice.

Her eyes found Hijikata's.

What was he doing?

"What did you say?" Sougo asked, turning to him as well.

"I said, she pretended to date me because she's in love with you." Hijikata repeated.

He sighed, damn, he was really gonna get it from Kagura now.

But he couldn't see any other option.

Well, there were actually plenty of options, most involved causing the sadist pain, but it seemed all too bothersome.

Why should the poor girl have to go through so much trouble for the idiotic Sougo anyway?

Hijikata was going to end this charade.

Either the sadist realize what he's got or lose the opportunity to be with an amazing girl like Kagura.

Hijikata felt guilty of course.

The girl was literally pleading with her eyes right now.

He could tell she wanted him to stop.

But he couldn't and wouldn't stop.

He sighed again.

"She and I pretended to be together so that you'd get jealous and finally go after her. Kagura did all of this for you, idiot." Hijikata told Sougo.

Before anyone could react, Kagura suddenly got up and ran at Hijikata.

The former Vice-Chief closed his eyes and prepared himself for a beating, but it never came.

A lump formed in his throat when he saw why.

Kagura stood in front of him, tears streaming down her face.

His heart broke then when, instead of 'How could you!?' or some other accusation, the crying girl bowed and apologized for everything.

All he could do was watch as Kagura ran out the door and disappeared into the night.

He didn't know how long he stood there, staring.

The next thing Hijikata knew, Gintoki was beside him.

"Shinpachi, go back to the house and get Sadaharu to go to Kagura, she'll be fine as long as he's with her." Gin quietly told the glasses.

This left only four of them in the room.

Gintoki observed Sougo, the sadist was being strangely quiet for a guy that just found out the girl he's been messing with, loved him.

"Oy, are you still functioning? Has Sougo exe stopped working?" Gintoki inquired.

Sougo let out a snort.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to process the new data I just got. It's really messing up my circuits."

"Yeah well, you deserve your circuits getting messed up. You've been a little virus that been messing with others these passed few days." Gintoki told him.

At this, Hijikata turned to Sougo.

"Hey bastard, what are you gonna do about Kagura? If you break her heart, I'll turn you into -" Hijikata tried to say but stopped when the sadist held up a hand.

"Cut me some slack, Hijikata-san. I've just found out some very mind f*cking things and I'm still trying to get my head around them." Sougo muttered.

He did look incredibly confused.

How can one react to finding out the girl you liked, pulled off such crazy sh*t because she liked you back as well?

Plus, he hasn't even wrapped his mind around the fact that China felt the same way about him.

How could she after all he's done to her?

A thrilling thought occurred to him.

Could she be a masochist? Is that why she fell for him even after all their fights and the sh*t he's pulled on her?

Wait, wait, wait! Does that mean she only loves the sadist side of him, or all of him?

He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to know.

He needed to talk to her.

But wait, with the way things ended tonight, she'd probably just run away from him.

She probably already planned to avoid him after her secret got out.

Sougo had to do something, anything.

He couldn't lose her.

Not now, he finally knows she wants him as well.

Plans began forming in his head.

"Oy Sougo." Hijikata's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What?" Sougo growled, then, after seeing Hijikata's face, he repeated in a more proper tone, "What is it, Hijikata-san?"

The Sadist couldn't help notice how serious the guy looked at him.

"Nevermind what you're going to do right now. I just want to know one thing," Hijikata said, "What exactly do you feel about Kagura?"

Gintoki and Kondo watched as Sougo looked Hijikata straight in the eye and said, "I'm in love with her, of course."

* * *

 _See you next time, I try to update on Wednesdays but since I'm going back to Japan this Wednesday, I don't think I'll update then. Hang in there!  
_

 _Also, brain fart: when I was writing this, I accidentally spelled Gintoki like 'Gintokie' and it just cracked me up._

 _Lastly, OMG have you guys seen the new posters for the live-action film? I-I think I'm in love with live-action!Hijikata. The poster for Kondo though, he doesn't look it but I hope he acts the part! Also, for the manga readers: Yay the omiyoujis! (sorry if i mispelled that)_

 _Very very last: Does anyone find the Kagura I write OOC? I mean, it's how I see her when she grows up but I'm not sure. Maybe I've made her cry too much in this story lol._


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: DreamoftheRealm:Haha glad you found it funny!**

 **XtataraX: IKR? Its scary to think what the live-action can turn out like, but gods do I love Hijikata's live action version. I hope shinsengumi get more screen time even if its the Benizakura arc.**

 **Also, did you see the new chapter? OMG the reunion with Otae and Kondo! And gods, Pandemonium-san! And once again, Gedomaru was awesome with her 'helping hand' to the injured. Lastly, yeah, I know I'm missing some aspects of what makes Kagura 'Kagura', I'll work on it. Also, I haven't perfected her accent 'aru' and 'yes' so I don't put it in for fear that it butchers her dialogue. Thanks for the review!**

 **Guest: aw thanks! Glad you like how Gin violated every guy! Haha!**

 **Kimchimustard: yay you find 'Gintokie' funny too? I thought I was the only one haha! Also, cool, glad you think that it's okay Kagura cries. I'm trying to write her more mature and that means she's more in-tune with her feelings. Sorry for the wait, here's the new chapter...sort of.**

 **Patsuan: yaaay glad she doesn't feel OOC to you! Also, lol happy you enjoyed seeing the guys get violated by a crazy perm-head! Hope you enjoy this one as well.**

 **Guest: I hope Kagura is okay too lol. I feel mean. Hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **Addicted-to-OkiKagu-and-BTS: first of all, I like your username... but aah it's so hard to type! Haha! Aww sorry I made you cry! ...maybe not, mehaha. Don't worry, I already have something planned for Toshi at the end of all this. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **BlueLilybell: First of all, omg you understand the characters so well! I really like what you said in your review, also aaah...you may or may not have guessed a bit of the ending...wink wink lol. Yeah the pace was a bit fast, I admit. I had planned more crazy attempts by Sougo but I felt maybe if he pulled more tricks, Kagura would start feeling negative towards him and ruin things so I decided against it. Glad you like the kisses too! Thanks for the compliment. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Iliad: IKR? As long as it's gintama, I will watch the movie! And yay glad you understand the Kagura I'm trying to write! . Thanks for the compliment, I enjoyed writing the kiss scene. Hope you enjoy this chapter too!**

 **Deriz: Aw, I hope your heart heals from the loss of Shogun-sama, he will always be in our memories. Also, yay, you should read the manga, it has parts that they didn't turn into animation and they are good too. More Gintama is always great right? Lastly, yay thanks for reading my story and liking it! Hope this chapter satisfies you as well!**

 **LaydiiV: haha sorry for making you scream and cry, hope the laughter made up for it. Also, yay glad I'm doing their characterization justice! Hope you like this one as well!**

 **Hirude: haha glad It made you laugh so much. Laughter is the best medicine! Omg that is one one of the best compliments I've gotten, I will keep trying my best to stay true to Gintama-ness! Hail Gorilla-sensei! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 ***Anyway, sorry for not updating last Wednesday. Here's something to make up for it, though it's short.**

* * *

Sougo didn't know what to feel.

He knew he should be happy. He just found out the girl he loved, loved him back.

Yet, the last thing she'd done was run out crying, right on front f him.

It's as if admitting that she had feelings for him, was the worst thing in the world.

Was he really that bad?

Sougo snorted, yeah right, he was amazing.

Still, he didn't know whether to celebrate or to run after the girl.

There was also the Hijikata issue he had to deal with.

The guy had helped the girl to be with him, out of all people.

You'd think Hijikata would have advised Kagura to not go after Sougo, after all the things he'd done to the mayonnaise bastard, yet, said bastard had put himself in the line of fire, just to help her.

Sougo didn't know what to do with that either.

Should he apologize to the guy and tell him what he's been doing to his Mayonnaise for a week now? Or let him have explosive diarrhea and keep quiet?

Sougo pondered all this at the chief's empty office.

The other men had left already.

The Yorozuya boss had said he was going to check on Kagura.

Hijikata had tried to go with him but was stopped by the white-haired man.

"Unless you want an umbrella shoved up your a, you should give her some space." He had adviced the former Vice-Chief, before going off on his own.

Hijikata had looked so guilt-stricken then that Sougo had almost felt bad for the guy and had been on the verge of saying something, when Hijikata's stomach suddenly growled and he ran to the toilet.

Strangely, Sougo hadn't laughed or even found it remotely funny.

Maybe it was because of what Hijikata had said, after Sougo confessed his feelings for China.

Sougo had half expected the guy to punch him or say he was lying, but Hijikata did neither.

The former Vice-Chief had looked him right in the eye and said, in a tone that made even Sougo have shivers run up and down his spine:

"I know more than most people, how much of a little bastard you can be, but I also know that there's a guy in there, who is serious when it comes to the people he cares about. What Kagura feels for you is real, you better not f*ck this up, Sougo. If you end up hurting her, then you're the worst bastard in the world."

Sougo let out a huge sigh.

"I know that, Hijikata-san."

* * *

The next day was relatively quiet, after such a chaotic evening.

Gintoki had been incredibley relieved, though he tried his best not to show it, when they had found Kagura at home, curled up in her closet, already sleeping.

She had been missing all night.

Him and Shinpachi had been searching for her non-stop, around Edo.

When the sun rose, they came home to hear soft snoring, coming from the missing girl's closet.

After discovering her inside, they both decided not to tell her that they'd been scouring the damn city for her.

Their eye bags said otherwise though.

Gintoki grimaced as he watched his sort-of daughter slash sister sleep.

The tear stains on her face were blatantly obvious.

He didn't know whose balls he wanted to rip out first, the mayonnaise bastard's or the sadist's?

"Both at the same time is good." Gin muttered.

"What was that, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked.

"Nothing, just contemplating a new career in sex-change procedures." Gintoki replied.

"H-heh?" Shinpachi stammered, "Gin-san, I think we need sleep."

Gin sighed, "I guess your right. Well then, goodnight, Pachi." and with that, Gin disappeared into his room while Shinpachi went out the living room door.

A few minutes passed.

Two doors opened to reveal two men holding pillows and a blanket.

They stared at each other.

"Hey Pachi, what are you doing?" Gintoki asked.

"I-I could ask the same thing to you, Gin-san." Shinpachi replied.

They sighed.

Without another word, they settled their bedding against Kagura's closet door and fell asleep.

* * *

Four times? Five?

Hijikata had lost count on how many times he'd gone to the toilet.

It must be that damn sadist's fault!

He sighed.

At least the diarrhea distracted him from thinking about Kagura.

He was pretty sure that, if left to think to himself, he'd fall into a chasm of despair and guilt.

"Wait a minute!" He spat.

Sougo loves her back, so doesn't that make what he did, a good thing?

"B-but still!" He stammered.

She had looked so hurt, he did betray her trust by letting out her secret.

Hijikata sighed, standing up.

"I'll go see her tomorrow." and with that, he flushed the toilet.

* * *

"They are all acting like idiots!" Sachan squealed with laughter.

"Sarutobi! Are you seriously taking pleasure in their situation?" Tsukuyo scolded.

"B-but, they are going around in circles, it's like watching a tv show!" Sachan let out in between giggles.

Tsukuyo sighed, deciding it was hopeless to reply.

"Sarutobi-san, please be more serious. Kagura-chan is having a really hard time." Otae told the ninja with her signature 'warning' smile.

"Right? It's a good thing I came and told you everything right, Otae-san?" Kondo coddled.

"You sound like she didn't find you under the floor boards and forced you to tell her everything, pervert Gorilla!" Kyuubei commented, her sword out to indicate the amount of distance Kondo had to stay away from Otae.

"Well, at least we now see the whole picture, thanks to Kondo-san." Otae commented as she ate another spoon of the ice cream Kondo had brought.

"Don't be bribed with ice cream!" Kyuubei shouted, "A-Also, you have some ice cream on your front, let me clean it up for you."

"Don't take advantage of the situation!" Kondo shouted.

Tsukuyo sighed as the serious atmosphere dissipated and everyone went back to their usual antics.

"Maybe a little break from the serious stuff is what we need though." she muttered.

She let out a smoke cloud and watched it float upward and disappear against the view of Edo.

* * *

As everyone rested, an unnoticed disturbance landed itself at Edo terminal.

"What exactly are we doing here, Captain? Please tell me it's not to follow another one of your whims." an older man said to the young man beside him.

"Relax Abuto, I have a very good reason for coming." The younger man replied with a smile, his eyes closed.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" The older man challenged.

The younger man lead them to the viewing window in the terminal.

They both gazed out at Edo in silence.

After a while, the older man couldn't stand it anymore.

"Say Captain, you still haven't answered my- " he stopped mid sentence, his bored expression now gone after seeing his captain's face.

"We're here to give my little sister's boyfriend a proper greeting." The younger man replied, his blue eyes blazing with blood lust, his smile a dangerous grin.

* * *

 **Kidding! HAHAHAH... Kamui will not be in this story, the chapter ends at the Tsukuyo smoke part. Oh I feel evil, which feels good, so is it really evil? Mehahaha-ack! chokes on her own hair*.**

 ***Sorry if it's short, the moment I came back to Japan, I had endless shifts at my part-time job so I'm pretty tired. This is like a break chapter, since you guys didn't get one this week. I promise to go back to my weekly Wednesday updates, starting from this coming Wednesday.**

 **Hang in there, and criticisms are welcome.**

 **Also, back-lash for the fake Kamui entrance are welcome, lololol. Maybe even comments on whether I wrote him right. Well, til next time, bye!**

 **PS: OMG the new chapter! KonTae! Pandemoniums galore! Shinpachi you friggin' Dottei! That is all (ugh it's hard to fan girl without spoiling)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Heroples: haha yay, I got you! lol. But really, I feel too sorry for both Sougo and Hijikata to insert Kamui into the mix. Hope you enjoy this chapt!**

 **deriz: aw thanks! I've rested now so I'm good. Also, ah sorry but Kamui isn't in the next chapter lol. I wrote in the end note that it's a joke part lol. Hope you still enjoy this chapter though.**

 **DreameroftheRealm: Cool username! glad you liked the family part. Hope this chapter is fun for you as well!**

 **Guest: haha aw thanks. I know I'm evil mehaha! Yeah, I avoided Kagura's POV cuz she was gonna dominate most of this chapter. Also, thanks, I'm feeling better now. Hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **LadiiV: don't worry, she is..sort off. Enjoy this chapter!**

 **Patsuan: haha ikr? Kamui would just put everything to chaos again lol. Thanks! hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **RegiKa: haha sorry but I won't..at least not anytime soon. Maybe he will appear officially later though wink wink. Hope you enjoy this chapter anyway!**

 **Kimchimustard: haha but I don't eat mayonnaise huhu! Also, Ikr? Kamui is so dramatic 'I want to be strongest' gosh. that mama's boy! He's killing me in the new anime eps. Anyway, hope you like this chapter as well!**

 ***Sorry for those in the eastern hemisphere, I know I said I update on Wednesdays but I actually mean that I write a new chapter on Wednesday night and end up writing until the wee hours of the morning, so technically I update Thursdays for you guys. Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! Critique is welcome!**

* * *

Gintoki woke up to his head being cracked open.

Wait what?

"Ow! Ow! Ow! What the hell?" The poor man growled.

Apparently, their dear amanto girl was finally awake and not in a good mood.

Gin glared at the shaking closet door, while he rubbed at his sore head.

"Oy, is this how you treat people that look after you, damn brat?" He yelled.

"Shut yer trap! I can't get out, dammit!" A muffled scream came from inside.

"I ain't moving!" Gintoki screamed back, stubbornly.

"G-gin-san, I think we should get out of the way. We just fixed that door." Shinpachi groaned, he too had a bump on his head.

"Move! Your! A*!" Kagura shouted, landing a kick upon the newly installed door with every word.

"Fine!" Gintoki shouted.

The moment he moved away from the door, a Kagura, in the midst of a drop kick, fell out of the closet.

"You did that on purpose, you jerk!" She screamed from the floor.

"Damn right I did!" Gintoki screamed over her.

Shinpachi sighed as he watched the two start to squabble.

"Looks like Kagura-chan is okay, at least." He commented, as she pulled out a whole clump of curly hair from a screaming Gintoki's head.

* * *

"Somehow, I feel like I just missed seeing something great, happening." Hijikata muttered to himself, out of the blue.

The former Vice-Chief was on his way to the Yorozuya.

At first, he had been unsure about whether he should go today or not.

It has been three days since the fiasco, where he'd revealed everything.

Still, he wasn't sure that he'd get a positive welcome from the yorozuya bunch, especially from a certain amanto girl.

"Stop it, I can't chicken out now." He muttered through his fifth cigarette of the day.

Damn, he really was nervous.

* * *

Unfortunately, His nerves did not improve when, the moment he arrived in front of the Yorozuya, he heard screaming, coming from the inside.

"Sh*t, this is bad. M-maybe I should come back some other time?" Hijikata stammered.

He was just about to turn and leave, when a perm-headed idiot suddenly shot through the door and rocketed straight into him.

The two bodies tumbled off of the balcony and fell onto the street below.

"That's what you get, you idiot curly old ma-!" a voice choked mid-way.

Hijikata found himself staring up at a surprised looking Kagura.

"Kagu-!" He tried to say, but the girl immediately ran back inside the house and shut the door behind her.

"Sh*t!" He cursed under his breath.

He pushed a dazed Gintoki off of him and got up.

The next thing Hijikata knew, he was standing outside the Yorozuya door, with a Gintoki shaped hole, and was knocking non stop.

"Ah! Hijikata-san, you're here." The glasses greeted him, then, under his breath, Hijikata heard him mutter something like "So that's why Kagura-chan ..."

"I need to see her, Move!" Hijikata growled, pushing passed Shinpachi.

He made his way inside, through the living room, Gintoki's bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen and the Girl's closet.

The mayonnaise addict blinked.

Empty. The place was empty.

He rushed back to Shinpachi, who was still by the door, trying to see if his boss was alive, "Oy, where is she?" Hijikata asked.

"Well, Hijikata-san, after she threw Gin-san outside. She suddenly came back in and left through the window in Gin-san's room." Shinpachi told him, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed.

He rushed towards the mentioned window and, true to what the glasses had said, found a shoe print on the windowsill.

Hijikata immediately put his head out and squinted around.

"Found you!" He growled, before climbing out the window as well and jumping onto the adjacent roof top.

There, a few houses away, leaping from roof to roof, was Kagura.

* * *

Hijikata made haste.

He stumbled a few times on some of his landings, but he recovered fast and moved on to the next roof.

Thankfully, the girl hadn't noticed him giving chase, yet.

With the pace he was going, He'd catch up to her soon.

In a few moments, Hijikata was one roof top away from Kagura.

He made one big leap...and promptly fell mid-air.

"What the-!" He yelled, before crash landing into an alley.

Hijikata had seen something, something strange enough to distract him and make him fall.

What was it?

A leaping sadist. He saw a leaping sadist.

* * *

Kagura regretted ever waking up today.

Why were these things happening to her?

Why was she surrounded by such idiots?

She felt like screaming.

Her day had started out normal enough.

A fight with Gin-chan that lead him to being seriously injured.

Hurting Shinpachi in the cross fire.

All normal.

Then _he_ had to show up.

And then _**HE**_ showed up as well.

Did she die and go to hell?

The poor girl took a moment to look behind her.

Yup, she definitely was in hell.

There, on her tail, was Sougo.

She wondered what had happened to Hijikata.

Kagura had noticed him chasing her, a few rooftops ago.

But he wasn't there now.

At least that lessened the amount of people chasing her.

Still, the last person in the world that she wanted to see, had to be the one left.

* * *

"Oy, China. Wait up!" a voice that made Kagura's heart do somersaults, came from directly behind her.

She had been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed how close he'd gotten.

"Leave me alone!" Kagura screamed at Sougo.

In her haste to get away from him, She tried to pull off an abrupt turn and lost her footing.

Kagura could see it happen in slow motion.

Herself losing altitude, the sadist's shocked face, the hand he extended, the hand she extended.

Then, all of a sudden, it became real time again and she found herself dangling over the streets of Edo.

The only thing holding her up was the sadist's strong grip.

Hadn't she been in the same situation before, with him?

And, just like in the past, they stared intently into each other's eyes, trying to read the other's intentions.

"L-Let g-" Kagura tried to say.

"If you're trying to tell me to let you go, it's pointless. I won't do it." Sougo told her sternly.

His tone surprised her. He'd never been this serious in front of her before.

"Oy, give me your other hand." Sougo told her, his own hand reaching out.

"Y-you can't. I'm too heavy. We're both gonna fall." Kagura let out.

She knew she'd survive the fall, but the sadist was human, he'd be seriously injured.

"I said give me your hand." Sougo repeated, almost sounding like he was angry.

Kagura stared at him in shocked silence. Why was he being like this?

But she didn't have time to think about it.

Suddenly, her grip slipped from his arm, if it weren't for Sougo's own grip, she'd have fallen.

"Now, Kagura!" Sougo growled, his eyes burning into hers.

Kagura reached out her other hand and he quickly grabbed onto it.

He immediately began pulling her up, and, to her surprise, he was succeeding in doing so.

The moment Kagura got back onto the roof, she pulled her hands away from him.

"You, y-you're strong!" She accidentally let out.

Though he was still panting from the effort, Sougo smirked.

"You sound like its surprising." He commented, "How do you think I've survived fighting with you all the time?"

Kagura unwillingly blushed, "I d-didn't realize you were that strong."

Sougo scoffed, "You don't realize a lot of things, China."

She didn't know what he meant by that but, before Kagura could stop herself, she asked, "What's with you? You just called me 'Kagura' and now you're back to 'China'?"

Sougo raised an eyebrow at her, then grinned.

"What? Disappointed that I'm not calling you by your name?" He teased, earning him a roof pebble to the head.

"Like hell! I-I was just wondering. It's confusing! Pick one and call me that!" Kagura screamed.

A glint immediately appeared in Sougo's eyes.

"Well then, why don't I call you 'mine'?" He asked and was rewarded with a flustered, blushing Kagura.

He shouldn't have assumed it was a good thing, though.

"W-what the hell are you saying, bastard?! Just because you now know I like you doesn't- Gah! You're the worst!" and Kagura instantly leaped away from him.

"Huh? What just happened?" Sougo asked himself.

* * *

So, once again, Kagura found herself running away from the idiot she loved.

Dammit, she couldn't believe him.

She knew he'd make fun of her,

She knew he would just take advantage of knowing about her feelings.

If only he hadn't found out before the plan worked.

Like it would have worked in the first place, she thought, letting out a bitter snort.

Kagura should never have done the fake dating plan in the first place.

It had caused her nothing but problems, and now the guy she loved was using her own feelings to tease her.

It hurt. A lot.

Kagura felt dread bubbling up in her stomach.

He'd probably use the fact that she liked him, in all of his teasing.

Right when a tear was about to fall, she heard his voice.

"China, Oy China, look to your right!" Sougo shouted.

Kagura, though doubtful, did what he said and turned.

Her heart leaped to her throat.

There, on one of the bigger buildings in Edo, with those walls that could play videos and commercials, was a message meant for her:

"Be the M to My S, Love Sougo (Sadist)" complete with a grinning Sougo head, rocking left and right, beside the words.

* * *

Sougo smirked.

He'd worked hard on this plan of his.

After what happened at Kondo-san's office, he'd resolved himself into admitting to Kagura, that he felt the same way as well.

After all, he thought he'd lost her once, he wasn't going to lose her again.

Kondo-san had cried gallons after hearing what he wanted to do.

The chief had immediately grabbed Yamazki and declared themselves ready to help.

It was Yamazaki that had said a big gesture would be good to show his feelings with.

Of course, being three idiots, they instantly took this as that they had to write Sougo's feelings on something big.

After some thought, they came up with the building idea.

All that was left was for Sougo to think of the message.

That had been an interesting conversation that went something like this:

"Can't we just write 'I love you too, China. From Sougo'?" Yamazaki asked.

"No no no, Zaki. That's too simple. Sougo has to make it more BANG!" Kondo replied, shouting the Bang part.

Yamazaki looked at his boss skeptically, "What exactly do you mean by 'bang', chief?"

"You know, like if China saw it, she'd go 'WOW!'" Kondo told him, saying the 'wow' in a much higher pitch.

"I see, Kondo-san. So something like 'Hey China, I want you too. With your body, I think I could do it * times with you. Love from Sougo.'" Sougo suggested with a completely straight face.

"Yes, exactly like that!" Kondo exclaimed, "She will see that number of times and go 'WOW!'"

"That's the kind of 'WOW!' you wanted!?" Yamazaki shrieked, "That won't work Chief, Vice-Chief. China will just get angry."

"Why would she get angry? I think it's fine." Kondo muttered.

"If you think that kind of message is fine, then no wonder Onee-san still won't go out with you!" Yamazaki commented.

"Nah Kondo-san. Zaki's right. China will just get angry." Sougo surprisingly agreed, "That number of times is too low." he added.

"That's not what I meant!" Yamazaki shrieked.

"Hmm, then what would be good?" Kondo asked.

Yamazaki sighed, "How about something short and to the point. But polite, please don't forget to be polite!"

"Ah, like the stuff written in greeting cards!" Kondo exclaimed.

"Well, sure. Those thing's have never made someone drop-kick them. So sure, something like in greeting cards." Yamazaki said exasperatedly.

"Right? Like those quotes saying 'wishing you a happy birthday' and stuff!" Kondo said.

Sougo nodded and gave it some thought.

"Well then, how about 'Wishing you...were in my bed everyday. From Okita.'" He suggested.

"Ah! That's it!" Kondo exclaimed excitedly.

"That's definitely not it, though!" Yamazaki yelled.

"Geez Zaki, if you think you're such an expert, why don't you come up with one then?" Sougo told the spy.

Yamazaki sighed and closed his eyes. He imagined himself talking to Tama.

"You shine brighter than the sun. You light up my life. I know you're the one. Please be my wife." and with that, Yamazaki broke into a fit of giggles and 'Tama-san's.

"Um, Zaki, you okay?" Kondo asked, shuffling away from the spy.

"Hmm, so like poetry huh?" Sougo asked, treating Yamazaki's behavior as normal.

He cleared his throat, "My eyes are red, Your eyes are blue, You're always in my head...I want to $*# you."

"THAT'S STILL NOT IT!" Yamazaki shrieked, recovering from his fantasies.

After several more failed attempts at making up a message, Yamazaki gave up and left.

Which was how a gorilla and a sadist decided that 'Be the M to my S' was absolutely okay.

"That's not okay at all!" Yamazaki shrieked when he saw the message, during his patrol.

The exhausted man sighed, "Goodluck Vice-Chief, you're gonna need it when China sees this."

* * *

"Well?" Sougo asked.

He and China had been staring at the message for a while now.

The girl had been strangely quiet.

She's just speechless with joy, Sougo thought to himself.

He couldn't help but grin.

His bed would, definitely, not be empty tonight.

Still, all sexual thoughts aside, he couldn't wait to be with her in every sense.

They'd have so much fun teasing people together, fighting as a team and what not.

Perhaps it was because he was too engulfed in his thoughts, of them being a couple, that he didn't see the punch coming.

In truth, Kagura just punched too fast.

Sougo flew backward from the impact.

He immediately scrambled back onto his feet, but kept his sword sheathed.

"You bastard!" Kagura screamed at him.

Subconsciously, Sougo prepared himself for another punch, but it didn't come.

He watched, dumbfounded, as Kagura ran further and further away from him.

* * *

 _OMG the new visuals from the live-action look good! Also, yay, the beetle hunting scene means that the Shinsengumi will indeed have more screen time in the movie! Can't wait!_

 _*Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I wrote it while listening to 'Zen zen zense' by RADWIMPS. I wrote 'Gintok' accidentally once and it cracked me up as well lol._

 _*See you next chapter, criticisms are welcome!_

 _also, in light of recent world events, hope everyone stays safe. Rest in peace for those that are gone._


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: WOW! 5k words in one go! My mind has melted, lol.**

 **LadiiV: OMG really? thanks! best compliment ever!**

 **deriz: haha aw, sorry for the heart beating, hope this chapter gives you the same reaction. Yeah, the live action is so far away!**

 **Guest: Haha ikr? these two are such idiots when it comes to love. Also, yay! you like the song? I find it the best song that helps me when I write.**

 **DreamOfTheRealm: hahaha omg the Orochi, all men have one, and Sougo totally seems like his future father in law when it comes to his crazy Orochi. I love your reference! Hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 **Shinnypichu88: omg your comment is awesome! i may have inserted it into the story actually! Hope you don't mind.**

 **Blue Lilybell: Hmm, maybe I should insert Kamui into the story, but just in the end when kagura ends up with #%^ &# wink wink lol. Also, sorry I ruined the poetry, blame Sougo, he ruined it lol. Hope you like this chapter as well, it has new sides to the characters so I'm hoping to know your insight on this. **

**Guest: aw, comments saying it could be from the real Gintama, makes me so happy. Yeah, I usually write these late into the night (early morning lol) so my grammar flies away as the hours get later, I'm actually rewriting earlier chapters and re-uploading them when i have the time, though, so hope those improve. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Patsuan: haha don't worry, Sougo will make it up to Kagura. Also, yessss! his live-action actor is hot and is amazingly a lot like him lol! He pulls off the Sougo face really well in my opinion! But I'm in love with the Hijikata actor! lol Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

 ****Well, this is a really long chapter, hope you guys like it. If not, please review or something, feedback helps improvement! (and my confidence as well, lolll) ENJOY!**

* * *

For the first time in days, Hijikata felt totally relaxed.

He had no more crazy kids, that were idiotic in love, disrupting his life and he was absolutely fine with that.

A bowl of mayonnaise-topped ramen, a marathon of his favorite TV show and no work for the first squad, put Hijikata in perfect bliss.

That is until his office door crashed open and a screaming amanto girl rocketed straight into him.

In a puddle of spilled ramen, The First Squad Captain found himself beneath Kagura once again.

Before he could say anything, the girl grabbed the front of his shirt and screamed into his face.

"FIX THIS!"

Hijikata blinked at her.

What exactly did she mean?

Also, who does she think she is, to come in here, after ignoring him for the passed few days, ruin his meal, uniform and office, and order him around like this?

"What?" He growled more aggressively than he intended.

The girl let out a 'Tch!' and shoved her face closer to his.

Hijikata couldn't bring himself to look away from those feiry blue eyes.

"You caused this, So you have to help me fix it!" Kagura growled.

Before Hijikata could ask what exactly she wanted fixed, something, approaching the compound in an alarmingly high speed, caught his eye.

"What the he-AACCK!" He managed to say, before a Parade truck crashed into the building.

In the few seconds that he stayed conscious, Hijikata couldn't help wonder why a huge cardboard cut out of Sougo, with heart-eyes, grinned at him.

Then he fainted.

* * *

 _A few days earlier..._

10:00 A.M

Day 1

Yorozuya Office and House.

Kagura stared at herself in the mirror.

She looked like hell.

Eye-bags, Check. Tear stains, Check. Red eyes, Check. Pale complexion, Che- Oh wait she was a Yato, Nevermind that one.

She sighed.

She didn't want to go anywhere today.

Not after what happened yesterday.

The image of his face, rocking left and right with a stupid smile, resurfaced into her mind.

Kagura blinked, when had she punched the mirror?

Sh*t, Gin-chan won't be happy about that.

Kagura sighed again.

Damn, just the thought of Sadist made her violent.

"It's his fault!" She screamed to nobody in particular.

Why'd he have to mock her feelings like that?

* * *

After running away from him, she'd gone straight home and cried in her closet.

She'd probably fell asleep then because, next thing she knew, it was the next day.

Kagura sighed a third time.

Now she _had_ to go out today, she had to buy Gin-chan a new mirror.

She washed her face, changed, found the hidden stash of money in Gin-chan's spare boots, and soon she was ready to leave.

With dread bubbling in her stomach, she stepped out of the front door.

In no more than a second, she was back inside.

"WHY!?" She screamed into the heavens.

* * *

Yamazaki's eyes twitched at the sight in front of him.

There, in the road right outside the Yorozuya, were hundreds of flowers.

If one saw it on street level, all they'd see were lots of white, blue, orange, black, and red blossoms.

Yamazaki didn't even know there were such things as black colored flowers, that is unless Anee-san got a hold of flowers and tried to cook them, but that's a different matter.

From above though, the flowers painted a different picture, literally.

It was then that the Yorozuya door opened.

Yamazaki spotted the Yato girl for only a moment before she disappeared back inside the house.

He couldn't blame her.

After all, who wouldn't be shocked to see an image of their face, made entirely of flowers, in the streets?

* * *

12:00 P.M.

Day 1

A Park in Edo.

Kagura's head was still buzzing from the events that morning.

After she had ran into the house, she had immediately ran to Gin-chan's desk and grabbed the phone.

At first, she tried Hijikata, she had been relying on him a lot recently and it just seemed natural to her to call him first.

"Dammit!" She let out, the error tone had sounded.

Next, she had tried Tsukki, but the Courtesan of death hadn't picked up.

The same thing happened for Otae.

Kagura cursed again, Shinpachi and Gin-chan were out and didn't have cell phones.

In one last ditch effort, she had called Otose's phone, downstairs.

Kagura had felt so relieved when she answered.

The poor girl explained to her what was happening right outside their door and, after going to check it out herself, Otose told her to calm down and let her handle it.

Kagura had ran to the door just in time to see Tama, with her broom flame-thrower, turning the flowers into ashes.

From the building, right across from the Yorozuya, Kagura had spotted the sadist, looking at her with a very confused look.

It was then that the girl realized, even home wasn't safe anymore from him, therefore, she ran off to the park, hoping it would prove a better hiding place.

It wasn't.

* * *

She had no sooner arrived at the park, when she spotted it.

A gigantic shadow cast over the trees and grass.

The thing causing it, was much more alarming, though.

Families and homeless people were in the park as well, and they too, stared at the thing in awe.

"Mommy, I want one like that!" Kagura heard a kid shout.

You can have it then! Kagura thought.

How the hell did he make one that big anyway?! She asked herself.

The painted eyes on the thing seemed to mock her all the way from the sky.

Anger surged inside her.

Kagura, with an almighty yell, aimed her umbrella at the sky and began firing a barrage of bullets.

A kite, the size of three billboards, with a winking Sougo, holding a heart that said 'Daisuki!' , fell from the heavens and blanketed a bunch of people, including a very flabbergasted Sadist.

By the time Sougo got out from under the mess, Kagura was gone again.

* * *

3:00 P.M.

Day 1

Katsura's group headquarters.

"Leader! We will protect you from that menace with all our might!" Katsura declared.

His men cheered.

Kagura flicked a booger at him.

"I don't need your protection, Let me just hang out here for a bit until Gin-chan comes back." She told the rebel leader.

"But leader, that Shinsengumi fiend has been harassing you, It is my duty, as a Samurai, to -" But he didn't get to finish as a rocket launcher blast exploded a corner of the room.

"Katsura, you bastard! Give me back my China!" A familiar voice came from a megaphone.

"Sh*t! He's here!" Kagura panicked, "Also, how the hell did he find your hide out so easy, Zura?"

"Ah, well, we use this hide out all the time. The rent is cheap and-" but another blast came and the rebel leader found himself being flung backward.

"Katsura-san!" His men yelled.

They ran to their leader, only to freeze when the smoke cleared and revealed what exactly had come out of the rocket launcher.

"Damn, I missed!" Kagura vaguely heard Sougo say.

She immediately rushed over to Katsura, as well.

Her face darkened, she knew now what Sougo had meant when he said he missed.

The shot hadn't been meant for Katsura, it had been for her.

Katsura blinked at all of them.

"What? Why aren't you running away? Do you want to get cau- GYAAAAAH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" He shrieked.

He was covered in ropes, it would have been fine if it was tied the normal way, when one caught criminals.

Instead, Katsura was tied up in a knot patern, typical in S and M play, complete with a bow at the front and a label that said 'This Girl belongs to Okita Sougo'.

"I'm gonna kill him!" Kagura screamed, before throwing several metal balls at the Sadist and his men.

"Ah, leader, those are my bomb-" Katsura tried to say.

"I know!" Kagura shouted just as the bombs exploded.

It was then that Katsura felt true fear, for the Yato girl, the flames and the upward pressure from the explosion behind her, made her look like a beautiful and vengeful demoness.

"Sorry about your headquarters, Zura." Kagura told him, "If you'll excuse me, I gotta get away from a sick, perverted idiot."

All Katsura could do was nod, and wiggle a little bit in his restraints, as the Yato girl leaped out of the burning building and disappeared into the distance.

* * *

8:00 P.M.

Day 1

Yorozuya Office and House.

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

"Where the hell are those guys!?" Kagura growled into the silence.

She even prepared something other than egg over rice, for once.

After running out of Katsura's place, she had gone to the supermarket.

She had spent hours in there without so much as a glimpse of the Sadist.

When it had gotten dark, she decided to buy some ingredients for dinner and go home.

Now, here she was, with Nabe ready, in an empty house.

She sighed.

* * *

Kagura wanted nothing more than for things to get back to normal again.

Hanging out with Gin-chan and the others, Fighting with Sadist in the normal way, calling Hijikata 'Mayora' as always and all that.

Yet, with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she couldn't help think that it would never go back to the way it was again.

Not now that the Sadist knows.

Not now that she and Hijikata developed their relationship.

Not now that Gin-chan and the others had seen this side of her.

A tear drop fell onto the table.

"Oyoyoy, the Nabe won't taste good if you eat it with a face like that." A voice came from behind her.

Kagura's eyes widened when she saw who it was.

She immediately wiped at her face with her sleeve.

"About time you guys got back!" She said, sniffing.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." Gin said.

"Sorry, Kagura-chan, thanks for making dinner." Shinpachi apologized.

The two then came over to the table and sat down on either side of the crying girl.

"Let's eat!" All three of them chorused.

Kagura smiled.

She was safe again.

That is until the doorbell ran.

"Who's that?" Kagura asked.

"Ah sorry, I invited a guest over for dinner." Gin told her.

Surprisingly, he volunteered to be the one to answer the door.

In between bites, Kagura heard Gin-chan greet the visitor.

"I appreciate the invitation, Boss." The visitor replied.

Kagura dropped her chopsticks.

Pure dread washed over her, She quickly turned to see who had come.

"You!" Kagura screamed.

* * *

 **CLIFFHANGER! See you guys next time.**

 **I wonder who came over for dinner?**

 **Find out...now! Lol.**

* * *

"H-hi China." The visitor greeted Kagura.

"What the hell are you doing here, Jimmy?" She growled.

Before Yamazaki could answer, Gin interrupted him.

"Now now, Kagura, I told ya, I invited him for dinner." Gin said, his hand on Yamazaki's now trembling shoulder.

"We found him sneaking around outside and told him to come up for dinner, after we checked if you were okay inside." He continued.

"A-ah, Boss, I-" Yamazaki tried to say.

"It's okay Jimmy, take a seat. After all, you were sneaking around here because you wanted to eat right? Not because that sadist boss of yours made you spy on our Kagura, right?" Gin asked the now shivering spy, " After all," he continued, in a deeper, more threatening tone, speaking right into Yamazaki's ear, "If you were here to spy, well, I'd have to introduce your 'Ketsuno Ana' to Lake Toya over here. You don't want that right, Jimmy?"

Yamazaki immediately jumped away from Gin's hold.

"I'm sorry, Boss!" He wailed.

Gin instantly had Lake Toya out, and pointed it at the crying man.

"I knew it." He growled.

"No no! It's not that! I mean, I am here on the Vice-Chief's orders, but it's not to spy on China!" Yamazaki said through snot and tears.

"What are you here for then, Yamazaki-san?" Shinpachi asked, he too clutched at his bokuto.

The poor spy tried to gulp back the phlegm and snot.

"I-I'm here to give China a message from Vice-Chief Okita." He managed to say.

Gin lowered his sword.

"Well, what's this message then? Give it to her and get out!" He growled.

Yamazaki looked from Gintoki, to Shinpachi, then to Kagura.

He sighed deeply, then opened his mouth.

"Oh Chinaaa! You make my heart go doki doki doki!..."

All three Yorozuya faces darkened.

He was singing!

Yamazaki was singing!

Also what the hell kind of song was he singing?

"Oh Chinaaa! You make my 'rocket launcher' go shoot shoot shoot!" Yamazaki continued to wail.

"STOP!" Gintoki yelled.

Yamazaki immediately choked on his line and began to have a coughing fit.

Shinpachi rushed over with a cup of water for the poor guy.

"Um, g-good job, Yamazaki-san." Shinpachi offered.

"Oy Jimmy, so your boss basically ordered you to come here and rage sound warfare on us?" Gintoki asked the spy after he recovered.

"S-sound warfare? No, he gave me a song message for China." Yamazaki argued.

"No, that was definitely sound warfare, it was a direct assault to our ears. Damn, that sadist is an evil genius." Gin said, looking impressed with Sougo.

"Boss, listen to what a guy has to say, please." Yamazaki told the white haired idiot.

"Oy Jimmy." Kagura said suddenly.

"Y-yes?" Yamazaki replied.

He immediately flinched back, from the look that the china girl gave him.

"What the hell does he intend, with all this crap he's pulling?" Kagura asked.

"Uh who?" Yamazaki inquired.

"The sadist! Why is he doing all this to me?" she replied, her eyes pleading for answers.

Yamazaki felt the guilt build up inside him.

He had known it all along.

All these 'love confessions' the Vice-Chief had come up with, were really just seen by China as harassment.

He couldn't blame her.

They were so unconventional and crazy.

If only Sougo had listened to Yamazaki's advice and said his feelings directly.

But noooooo, Yamazaki thought.

He had to make up unbelievable plans and schemes to confess his feelings for her.

He felt genuinely sorry for China.

The guy she loved was an absolute idiot.

* * *

Yamazaki sighed, getting up.

"I'm sorry China, I really am. But, I can't answer your question. All I can say is this: Brace yourself, there's more to come." and with that, he left.

He was quite surprised that the two Yorozuya men had let him go, after such a vague statement.

"Well, how did it go?" A voice came from the shadows.

After the initial surpise at being spoken to all of a sudden, Yamazaki calmed himself enough to answer.

"It went as expected, Vice-Chief. I told you already, I can't sing." He reported.

Sougo 'Tch'-ed.

"Well, that's it for today, I guess. Dammit." he said in a disappointed tone.

* * *

"Vice-Chief, have you ever considered just telling her properly?" Yamazaki inquired as they walked back to the Shinsengumi headquarters.

Sougo immediately stopped in his tracks.

"Zaki, have you ever seen me actually talk properly with China?" He asked the spy, quietly.

Now that Yamazaki thought about it, No, Sougo and China had always either just fought or argued.

Sure, there were times they had to get serious, but it was always in a life or death situation.

Never had they just talked properly in normal circumstances.

"No, sir." Yamazaki replied.

"That's why." Sougo told him.

"Why what?" Yamazaki asked.

Sougo sighed.

"Why I can't just talk to her straight about what I feel." he answered, he let out a sad laugh, "All China and I ever do is argue and fight. That means she fell in love with me, through that kind of interaction we had. If I suddenly got all serious and just tell her outright, I-I'm a-afraid-" he paused, he seemed to have had a hard time pushing that last word out. Sighing, he continued "I'm afraid that she'd reject me if I did that."

Then, to Yamazaki's utter shock, the sadist looked him right in the eye, with the most earnest expression he'd ever witnessed on Sougo's face, and said, "The thought of her, suddenly saying she doesn't want me anymore, after I've poured out my feelings, scares the sh*t out of me, Zaki."

Yamazaki stayed silent.

He didn't know what to say.

"You don't have to say anything, bastard." Sougo told him, seeming to have read his mind, "Just remember, what I told you just now, stays between you and me. Now, if you have no more stupid questions, Let's go home. I want to prepare for tomorrow."

With that, the two walked back to the Shinsengumi compound in silence.

Little did they know that someone had listened in on their conversation.

Two figures emerged from the shadows.

"I didn't expect that at all." One of them commented.

"Yeah, well never mind that right now, let's get back. Kagura's gonna kill us if we let the Nabe go cold." the other replied.

They disappeared up the Yorozuya stairs.

* * *

Day 2.

All over Edo.

Kagura normally loved weekends, today was an exception though.

This morning she had discovered Sadaharu with a female Shiba Inu.

The Shiba had a label with 'His', while Sadaharu sported a 'Hers' label.

A note, on a string that encircled the two dogs, had said, 'If our dogs are doing it, we should too – Okita'

After that, she had rushed inside the house to change, so that she could start another day of running away again.

Then she discovered his other crazy stunt.

All of her outfits were gone, instead, her drawer was filled with 'SadChi' labelled T-shirts, her face and Sougo's printed on the front with a heart in between them.

The poor girl had no choice but to grab one really fast, since it creeped her out that he'd managed to get into the house and change her clothes, without her knowing, and got out of there.

* * *

As she leaped over rooftops, she almost fell when she spotted something in the sky.

A giant blimp, with a badly edited picture, of two people in wedding attires, with their faces replaced by Sougo's and Kagura's, floated above Edo.

"This could be us, but you're busy jumping on roofs" A voice came from the blimp's speakers.

"What the hell? How are you spying on me?" she had screamed before continuing to flee.

Around lunch, Kagura found herself hiding in the mall.

When she had gone to the toilet, she screamed while in the stall.

Sougo's face was taped on the Toilet seat cover, with the words 'I accept all your bodily functions, Aren't I the perfect guy?'

She had ran out of there without doing her business.

* * *

During the afternoon, she had spent it avoiding TV screens, since a commercial of Her and Sougo's 'date undecided' wedding kept playing on every channel, keeping away from patrolling Shinsengumi members because, somehow, the Vice-Chief had gotten them to wear, instead of their uniforms, the horrible 'SadChi' T-shirts, and running from wedding dress sellers that seemed to have been told that, the first person to catch her, would have their dress be her wedding dress.

By the time night fell, Kagura was exhausted and absolutely furious at a certain sadist.

In her tired state, she had decided to just go home and deal with whatever sh*t the idiot had planted in the Yorozuya.

She'll just get rid of it, lock all the doors, and go to sleep.

When she arrived back, however, her plans changed.

There, sitting in the middle of the room, his back turned to her, was a flaxen haired person in a shinsengumi uniform.

"How dare you co-!" But she didn't finish.

The person had turned to face her.

Kagura's face darkened.

"Oy..." she began, in a dangerous voice, "Why the hell are you dressed like that, Gin-chan!?"

The idiot perm head, now flaxen haired, scratched at his wig.

"Well, ya know, I heard it's in fashion so I thought I'd do an image cha- OOF!"

Gintoki's wig flew off his head, from the impact of Kagura's drop kick.

"Shinpachi! Where are you? Gin-chan got infected by Sadist and he's become a frea-" But Kagura didn't finish.

Shinpachi had entered the room.

"Ah Kagura-chan, welcome back. You're just in time for dinner." Shinpachi smiled at her, in a red eye mask and a familiar green and blue Yukata.

"What the hell are you wearing?!" Kagura shrieked as she also gave Shinpachi a drop kick.

Kagura glared at the both of them.

"Why are you bastards dressed like that?!" She growled.

"Well, You see, there was one parfait, then two parfaits, then three..." Gintoki said.

"There was one Otsu-chan Cd, Two Otsu-chan Cd's, three Otsu-chan Cd's..." Shinpachi added.

"You let that bastard bribe you!?" Kagura screamed, pounding the both of their heads.

"We're sorry." the two idiot's chorused, as red angry bumps formed on their skulls.

Kagura slept right after dinner.

She was too tired to do anything else.

Her day had been horrible.

Sighing in her closet, she closed her eyes and hoped for a better day tomorrow.

* * *

Day 3.

All over Edo.

Sadly, that better day never came, in fact, Kagura swore it was worse.

If she were to summarize each event, that had happened, It'd go like this:

-Getting arrested for 'stealing the Vice-Chief's heart' several times by 'SadChi' shirted Shinsengumi members.

-Finding out that all the Sukonbu at the store, contained tiny paper messages from the sadist, examples included 'Why suck on this stuff when I can give you something else to suck on?', 'I'd eat you as much as You eat Sukonbu', 'You like eating salty, sour things? Guess who produces something salty and sour when he thinks of you? (not that I've ever tasted it myself, but you can)' and other very 'sweet' messages.

-Having a slideshow, of stolen pics of her, played all over the plasma screens on Edo buildings, with running commentary by Sougo. "Oh, you can see a bit of her panties in this one. Red, nice one China. Also, I'll hunt down all those that saw this picture, so just wait, you bastards!", "The way she sleeps reminds me of a cat, I like cats." "I like how you don't care about having food all over your face when you eat." were just some of his comments.

-Discovering that Otsu-chan was doing a live performance, in the center of Edo, of the 'Oh Chinaaa!' song, with the concert being broadcast country wide.

-Opening the Yorozuya door, after another tiring day, only to be swept away in an avalanche of stuffed Sougo dolls wearing mini 'SadChi' T-shirts.

For the night, Kagura had taken shelter at the Shimura's house, with their Gorilla proof, and hopefully, Sadist proof, security system.

* * *

Day 4.

All over Edo.

After a delivery of hundreds of roses to her door, a sky message, made by a Jimmy driven plane that said 'China and Sadist, forever!', the discovery that a nation-wide questionnaire had been conducted, concerning which 'ship' name was best for Kagura and Sougo (OkiKagu had won, for some reason, beating the prettier SoRa), and finding her picture on the front cover of 'Bride Weekly' magazine, Kagura had reached her limit.

Then the parade happened.

A long line of parade trucks, sporting OkiKagu pictures, decor and what not, snaked its way through the roads of Edo.

That was the last straw.

No sooner had she seen the Sougo cardboard cut-out, with heart eyes, mounted on the leading truck, did Kagura find herself running towards the Shinsengumi compound, praying that her ex-fake-boyfriend was there.

* * *

 _Present..._

Sougo woke up with a jolt.

He had been at the front seat of the truck, when it had crashed into the Shinsengumi building.

He immediately got out and began looking for Kagura.

"Sh*t, hope she's oka-" but he didn't get to finish.

A hard kick to the chin had sent him flying.

"You! You sick, bastard!" a familiar voice shrieked.

Through his daze, Sougo could see a furious Kagura, stomping towards him.

"What the f*ck is wrong with you?! Just how messed up is your mind to do all this?!" She screamed, grabbing a hold of his collar.

"It was for you, Chi-" but a slap from Kagura stopped him.

"For me?!" She screamed, her voice hoarse with emotion, "This has all been for your sick amusement! Making fun of me, sh*ting on my feelings for you, No, all this was for your own entertainment!"

Kagura took a breath, in the meantime, she glared at him.

Sougo's throat ran dry.

The way she was looking at him now, hurt a thousand times more than being wounded during a fight.

"Kagura, I-" He tried.

"Don't you dare call me by my name! Don't you dare call me anything at all! I never want to see you again!" Kagura screamed, tears now streaming from her eyes.

For a moment, Sougo felt like she was searching his face for something, like she was waiting for his reply.

But, he couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Talk! He shouted to himself.

Say something, please! He begged himself.

Yet, nothing came out.

Kagura sighed.

Her grip fell from Sougo's collar, her whole body slumped in exhaustion.

Sougo felt a stinging pain in his chest as he watched her turn to leave.

A choking sound came from the back of his throat.

He had meant to shout her name.

Thankfully, the girl turned back to look at him.

The words that came out of her mouth, though, absolutely crushed him, "I hate you."

With that, she left.

* * *

Sougo fell to his knees.

He could actually feel himself breaking.

Yeah, sure, she'd said 'I hate you' plenty of times.

But, the thing that destroyed Sougo, when she had said it this time, was how much she seemed to say it in earnest.

The look in her eyes, the tone of her voice, it all told him the same thing.

"She hates me." He choked out, finally finding his voice.

A sob came, then another one.

Sougo, for a second, wondered where it was coming from.

Then he realized that he was the one crying.

"AAARRRGGHHH!" He screamed.

He made the girl he loved, hate him.

She'd looked at him like he was the worst.

"AAARRRGGHHHH!" He screamed again.

It was over, she had given up on him.

"AAAAARR-ACK!"

"SHUT UP!" Hijikata shouted, righting himself after the drop kick on Sougo.

* * *

Sougo found himself on the ground, a boot print on his face.

"You b-basta-" Sougo tried to say but Hijikata gave him a hit on the face, with his own cardboard cut out.

"Of course she'd hate you, idiot! After all the crap you pulled, who wouldn't hate you? Stop thinking with your d*ck!" Hijikata growled.

Suddenly, Hijikata plopped himself next to where Sougo laid.

Sougo blinked at Him, confused and a bit dazed. The tears were beginning to dry on his face.

"You already know she loves you. Don't think that her feelings will change after just a few days of your stupid pranks. She's just angry right now." Hijikata muttered, avoiding looking at Sougo.

"You didn't see her face." Sougo found himself saying.

Hijikata chuckled.

"Really? You don't think I haven't seen that face before? I'm the one who ratted her feelings out remember?" he told the younger man.

"But-" Sougo started.

"But what? You're just gonna give up after that? If you do, then you were never ready for a proper relationship with her, anyway. You love her right?" Hijikata asked.

Without hesitation, Sougo replied, "Of course."

Hijikata smiled approvingly at his response.

The older man got up, brushed himself off, then turned on the younger one.

Hijikata held out a hand.

"Get your ass up, we're gonna make it up to her."

Sougo stared at the hand for a moment, before reaching out his own and taking it.

"Thanks." Sougo let out.

Hijikata scoffed, "Thank me later when we actually succeed, you really f*cked up this time, Sougo. Just remember, I like my mayonnaise without tabassco sauce. Make sure I get crates of the stuff, I think that's enough to show your thanks."

"If that's the case, then I want a year's supply of parfaits!" a familiar voice came.

"I'd like all the newly released Otsu-chan merchandise collection, please!" another familiar voice said.

"What are you bastards doing here?" Hijikata asked, immediately starting a glaring contest with Gintoki.

"Please calm down you two." Shinpachi pleaded.

But the two weren't listening, they had their foreheads pressed against the other's, already.

"Mind your own business, Yorozuya, I'm more than enough to help this idiot." Hijikata growled.

"Um, that idiot is standing right here and can hear everything." Sougo commented.

"Oyoyoy, Hijikata-kun, were you living under a rock these passed few days? It is our business, we're members of the 'SadChi' fan club after all!" Gintoki threw back.

Sougo blinked at him.

Now that he mentioned it, The boss and the glasses were wearing the 'SadChi' shirts that he'd planted in Kagura's drawer.

"Boss, why do you want to help me? I pretty much harassed China these passed few days." Sougo couldn't help asking.

Gintoki, without looking away from Hijikata, replied, "Don't think too much of it, Sofa-kun. We all do crazy things for love."

Shinpachi stood next to Sougo, "We heard what you said to Yamazaki-san. At first, Gin-san was gonna kill you for what you've been doing to Kagura-chan, but, after we heard your earnest feelings, we now know how true your love is for Kagura-chan. We'll help you, Okita-san, we know you will look after our Kagura-chan."

Sougo stared at Shinpachi, speechless.

He had expected that, if anyone had heard what he had told Yamazaki, they'd laugh at him.

Yet, here were two people ready to help him, after hearing it.

"What are you talking about, Pachi-boy? I'm just here so that this idiot can finally take Kagura off of my hands. All the money I spend feeding her can finally go to my sweets budget." Gintoki commented.

"E-either way, we're here to help, Okita-san!" Shinpachi said, trying to stir around his Boss's comment.

"That's good to hear, Shinpachi-kun." A voice came.

Kondo and Yamazaki, suddenly, emerged from the hallway.

"I'm pretty sure, with this much minds thinking together, we can work something out and fix this thing with China." Kondo said, encouragingly.

"Yeah, that or a bunch of idiots end up pissing off a Yato even more and our obituaries get posted in next week's paper." Gintoki added.

"Let's do this, OkiKagu force, Go!" Shinpachi yelled, throwing up his fist.

No one followed suit.

"No?" The poor guy asked.

"No!" The rest chorused.

* * *

 _ **OOh! looks like the end is approaching, find out next time on 'Loving an Iidot is hard', now being turned into a Live-action movie!**_

 _ **Kidding, Obviously. But, speaking of Live action movies, AAAAHHHH i already put it in my calendar, the release of Gintama live action! Also, omg have you guys seen the new chapter? poor Hedoro. Gosh, I hope Tsukki continues what she was doing to the sleeping idiot! (lol, for those that don't read the manga, this must be a very confusing sentence for you!)**_

 _ **Btw, how did we actually decide on the ship name, OkiKagu? I'm curious since I only joined the fandom last year.**_

 _ **Anyway, see you guys next time! I may or may not get more shifts next week, not sure yet, so I might update late. Hang in there**_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Furuchisa: Thanks! and glad you enjoyed stalker!Sougo lol. Hope you like this chapter as well!  
**

 **deriz: haha glad I made you laugh! And don't worry, I'm sure we will find a way to watch the live-action! hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **Bubin: haha I love Hijikata a lot too, have you seen his live-action version? Glad you enjoy the story! I promise to try to keep the Gintama-ish humor! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

 ***Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Critique is welcome!**

 ***** I apologize for not updating faster, school just began (the horror!) and I'm getting more shifts at work so I gotta adjust when I update, I'm thinking every Monday or Tuesday now. Anyway, Enjoy!**

* * *

"Black Cat, do you read me, Black Cat?" Gintoki shouted into his earpiece.

"I'm not Black Cat, I'm Katsura!" A voice replied back.

"Dammit, Zura! Stick to the code names, It's embarrassing when I do it by myself, geez!" Gintoki growled angrily, blushing a bit.

"Fine, it can't be helped." Zura replied, "B-black Cat, here. I read you loud and clear, W-white wolf."

"Why the hell are you sounding embarrassed too?" Gintoki asked, spitting into the earpiece.

"Oy, stop arguing over the earpieces, everyone else can hear you two!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"Shut up, Plain Glasses!" The two chorused.

"Oyy! Why is my code name 'plain glasses'? Why is it the only one not following the animal theme?" Shinpachi shrieked.

"That's obvious, Pachi. It'd be weird if an animal wore glasses, wouldn't it?" Gintoki explained, as if his argument made total sense.

"Why does my code name have to include glasses?! Is that all I am to you guys?" Shinpachi shrieked, starting to hyperventilate.

"Yes, that's all you are, now shut up, you noisy pair of glasses." Kagura growled.

"Um, excuse me, Red Rabbit-san, but you just totally hurt my feelings just now." Shinpachi cried.

Kagura ignored him.

In fact, she was ignoring all of them, or at least trying to.

It was kind of hard when all three were currently surrounding her.

"By the way," She began, in a dangerous tone, "Why the hell are you guys sticking to me like this sis-con sticks to Anego?!"

She glared at all three of the idiots.

They were in the streets of Edo.

Katsura stood to her left, Shinpachi to he right while Gin lead them in front of her.

All three wore black suits, shades and an earpiece.

"We're on protection duty, Lead-ah I meant, Red Rabbit!" Katsura declared, pushing up his sun glasses so that they'd glint, "We vow to protect you with everything we have!"

"What Zura said, minus the 'everything we have' part. I'm just doing this until the 'playing secret service' part starts to get boring." Gintoki added.

"Gin-san!" Shinpachi scolded, he turned to Kagura, "Don't worry, Kagura-chan! We'll keep you safe from any of those black raven bastards!"

"Black Raven?" Kagura inquired.

"Uh that's the code name for the Shinsengumi." Shinpachi told her.

"Is that so?" She replied, looking absolutely disinterested as she picked her nose.

Flicking a booger at Shinpachi, Kagura pushed passed Gin.

"I don't need your guys protection or anything. I don't plan on seeing any of those bastards ever again. So thanks, but no thanks." She told them, before turning to leave.

"Wait, Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi called after her, but she was long gone.

Now that she wasn't there to see, all three of the men smiled.

They'd lead her right to where they wanted her to go.

Everything was going according to plan.

* * *

Kagura blinked a few times.

Was she seeing things?

Why the hell were there so many heart décor for a winter festival?

It felt like another slap in Kagura's face, with the week she'd been having.

"Oy, what's the meaning of this?" She asked a nearby festival organizer.

"Oh you haven't heard? This year, there will be two days celebrating the festival, the first day is 'lover's day' and the next one is 'family's day'. We're decorating right now for the first one." the organizer told her, enthusiastically.

Kagura frowned at him.

"I'm skipping the first one then." she declared.

She was just about to leave when the organizer called out to her.

"That's too bad then, for some reason, most of the food vendors and entertainment can only make it for the first day, so you'd be missing a lot if you skip it."

Kagura paused.

She turned back to the organizer, making him flinch at the look on her face.

"Y-you mean, there won't be much food on the second day?!" She gasped.

"Y-yeah." The organizer replied in a small voice, "S-so you better come by on the first day if you want to eat festival food!"

Kagura went into deep thought then, After all, this was a very important matter!

Festival food but suffer lover's day, she compared which fate was worse in her head, unaware that she was glaring at the organizer.

"Tch! It can't be helped, I guess I'll come." she said after a while, "Thanks, old man!"

The amanto girl turned to leave, filled with excitement for the festival and the food.

Who cares if it was Lover's day?

She'll just ignore all the couples and stuff her face with Gin-chan's money.

"Oh, by the way, miss!" The organizer yelled after her, "You can't enter the festival on the first day, without a date!"

Kagura instantly stopped walking.

"D-date!?" the poor girl shrieked.

* * *

"Oy, you jerks, what the hell do you mean, you both have dates already?!" Kagura screamed in disbelief, "Who the hell was crazy enough to agree to you losers!?"

"What's that supposed to mean, brat? You don't think I have appeal to the opposite sex, huh?" Gintoki growled.

"That's mean, Kagura-chan! Of course there are girls in this world, crazy enough to say yes to us!" Shinpachi shouted, defensively. This earned him a slap on the back of the head, from Gintoki.

"Dammit, Pachi, don't sound so pathetic! You just totally killed our argument with that! Think before you speak will ya?" The poor man shouted.

"It's true, though." Shinpachi muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

Kagura spat.

"Oh yeah? Then who are these date's of yours?" She challenged.

Gintoki smirked.

"What a coincidence, they're here right now actually, want to meet them?" He asked, confidently.

"Bring them out, old man! I bet they're just blow up s*x dolls or something." Kagura replied.

Still smirking, Gintoki took out Lake Toya and promptly pierced the ceiling with it.

A bespectacled Shinobi and a Gorilla fell out onto the floor in front of them.

"See? Our dates!" Gintoki announced, quickly grabbing a dazed Sacchan, leaving Shinpachi with Kondo.

"Um, Excuse me, Gin-san, what's the meaning of this?" Shinpachi asked, his face dark as he looked at Kondo.

"Um, Excuse me, Yorozuya, but what is going on here?" Kondo asked, his face dark as he looked at Shinpachi.

Gintoki grabbed the both of them and shoved them together.

"Geez, you two. Ever since you guys shared that kiss, we all know you've fallen for each other. Stop being shy and just go out already. The festival is the perfect setting for a first date!"

Shinpachi and Kondo stared at each other, their eyes rolled back into the back of their heads.

"Um, can we refuse?" They chorused, their voices hollow.

"None sense!" Gin exclaimed in his most annoying english, "C'mon, weren't we going on a double date? Gorilla and Shinpachi with me and uh Sarutobi-san!"

This immediately woke Sacchan up.

"A date!?" She shrieked, "With Gin-san!? Yes please!"she said the last part in a similarly annoying english.

"Oy, what the hell is this? Are you guys f**king with me?" Kagura growled, her face dark.

She stared at the odd couples with disgust.

"Now now, Kagura-chan, just because you're jealous that we have dates and you do-ACK!" Gintoki found himself being interrupted with a drop kick on his face.

"Who the hell would be jealous of freaky-ass dates like these!?" Kagura shrieked, she stepped off of the curly-haired idiot's face.

"W-well, anyway, we can't be your date for the festival, we already have our own." Shinpachi interjected, though his voice sounded soulless as he held hands with Kondo.

"Yeah, sorry, China." Kondo added, his tone ghostly.

Kagura looked from Shinpachi to Gintoki.

Were they being serious?

Was it really that bad to be her date for the festival?

Dammit!

"Fine! I'll just find someone else!" she growled at them before leaving the house and slamming the door hard.

Gintoki and Shinpachi sighed.

"Well, that takes care of us, who else do you think she'll ask, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked.

"Dunno, but we can leave that matter to the people we have all over the place." Gintoki replied, "Also, you do know this was all an act right? I'm not really taking you as my date, so let me go, dammit!"

He screamed at Sacchan, who had wrapped her arms around his waist and showed no signs of getting off of him anytime soon.

"Kyaa! A date with Gin-san to the festival!" She shrieked.

"Oy, are you even listening!?" Gintoki growled.

Shinpachi tried to ignore them, he turned to Kondo.

"Kondo-san, everyone is prepeared right?" He asked.

"Don't worry, Shinpachi-kun, we've put units at every place China usually goes to." Kondo reported.

Suddenly, his phone began to beep.

"Speaking of which, here's one of them now," Kondo announced, looking at the screen, his face turned dark.

The other two noticed his expression, immediately.

"Kondo-san?" Shinpachi asked, looking worried.

"Oy, Gorilla, what is it?" Gintoki added. He pushed Sacchan away from his crotch and turned to the Chief.

"Um well, y-you guys never told us that China goes to this place, s-so don't blame us that we didn't put anyone there!" Kondo stammered.

"Where did she go?" Shinpachi asked.

Kondo gulped.

"The unit posted at Snack Smile just reported, he spotted China girl heading to the number one Host club in Kabuki-cho."

* * *

"Oy, Plastic boy, be my date to the winter festival." Kagura ordered.

"Kagura-sama, p-please, the fact I had some 'work' done should be kept quiet!" Kyoushirou pleaded, "especially here inside the club." he added in a whisper.

"Sure thing, Plastic Surgery-san, now will you go with me or not?" Kagura asked, completely ignoring the poor guy.

The number one host sighed in exasperation.

"I'm sorry, Kagura-sama. I owe you guys a lot, and, of course, you've also become a beautiful young lady, If it were any other time, I'd gladly take you out on a date. But," He sighed again, "Since the theme was Lover's day, our club decided to run a booth of our own for the festival, so, Sadly, I can't be your date."

Kagura 'Tch!'-ed.

"Thanks anyway." She said before leaving.

Unknown to her, three idiots, and a clinging ninja, all sighed in relief as she walked out of the club, without a date.

"That was close!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Oy, Gorilla, aside from the Host club, everywhere else is covered right?" Gintoki asked.

"Yeah, don't worry, China won't find a date in the whole of Edo." Kondo declared.

Gintoki sighed.

It felt mean to do this to the girl, but they had no other choice.

She was so head strong about everything, getting her and the sadist together would require some really crazy methods.

"Let's go back and prepare for the rest." Gin announced.

* * *

Kondo had been right.

Kagura couldn't seem to find anyone that would go with her to the festival.

Katsura had refused, he had also forbid any of his men to go to the festival for some reason.

She then tried asking Kyuubei for a date from her clan, but Tojo had refused her audience with the heir, also, rejecting her from asking any other clan member.

After this failure, Kagura tried Yoshiwara, but she had found out, from some familiar looking repairmen, that the elevators to go down to the city, were broken.

Kagura had then gone to Snack Smile, only to be kicked out by the manager because someone had booked the whole place for the day and no, Otae wasn't allowed to step out and talk even for a bit.

This lead to her just asking random guys on the street, but, for some reason, totally unrelated to the fact that Sadaharu growled threateningly at all of them each time, the men rejected her as well.

* * *

Kagura was beginning to question her appeal, more and more.

She was moping in the park, after being rejected, by the only okay looking homeless guy in Madao's gang, and it was a huge blow to her confidence.

"Dammit, I just want to eat festival food!" She screamed into the heavens.

"Oy, stop disturbing the peace, don't make me tell you-ah!"

The new speaker and her stared at each other for a while.

Kagura recovered first and immediately tried to run for it.

"Wait, Chi-! Kagura!" Hijikata growled, grabbing her hand.

"Let go or I'll knock you out, Mayora!" Kagura shouted, trying to pull away from him.

"Just listen will ya!?" Hijikata pleaded.

They stared into each others eyes, more like glared, in Kagura's case.

"I don't want to hear anything from you!" She said, venomously.

Hijikata's eye twitched, he had to admit, that hurt a bit.

"I'm sorry." He let out.

"Doesn't matter, I-!" But she didn't get to finish.

Kagura suddenly found herself in His arms.

"I know what I did can't be forgiven easily. But, at least let me try making up for it, little by little." Hijikata whispered into her shoulder, "I-I don't want our relationship to end like this. Please, give me a chance?"

Kagura gulped back the angry things she had been about to say.

He sounded so sincere, and, Heck, she had to admit, she needed this hug.

It felt so safe and familiar.

Should she give him a chance?

Kagura would never say it out loud, but, she did like how their relationship had changed, since the fake dating started.

Deep down, it did feel like she lost something important, when things fell apart between them.

Kagura subconsciously buried her face into his chest.

"O-okay." she found herself saying.

She distinctly heard his heartbeat relax.

"Thank you, Kagura." Hijikata replied.

They pulled apart.

The two stood there, awkwardly, for a bit.

"Well, what's this about wanting to eat festival food?" the Former Vice-Chief asked, after a while.

Kagura sighed.

"I heard the food vendors are only gonna be around for the first day of the festival. But I can't get in without a date." She told him. It felt nice having him to tell her problems to again. It made her fell so relieaved and-

"Wait a minute!" Kagura exclaimed, "You!"

Hijikata raised an eyebrow at her.

Suddenly, she grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Oy! Be my date to the festival!" Kagura said excitedly, then memories of them, being in an almost similar situation before, resurfaced into her mind, and her face immediately became downcast.

"Y-you and I can just act like we're on a date at the entrance. Once we get in, you can do whatever, you don't have to stick with me." She quickly added.

To her surprise, Hijikata chuckled.

"Is it really that bad to date me?" He asked with a half-smile, "I said I was gonna make it up to you, didn't I? I'll do better than be your date, I'll pay for all the food you want at the festival."

Kagura couldn't believe her ears.

"Really? Y-you don't have to." She said, cautiously trying to hide her excitement.

Hijikata cupped her cheek with his hand, "I want to."

"Yahooh!" Kagura let out before draping her arms around an unprepared Hijikata.

"Thanks, Mayora-ah! I meant Toshi-san!"

* * *

"Toshi-san is gonna die!" Sougo growled from behind some bushes, in the park.

"Calm down, Vice-Chief!" Yamazaki pleaded.

They had watched the whole thing in secret.

"What the hell is that guy doing, touching her like that and talking like some lady-killing perv?" Sougo spat, totally pissed off.

"He's just acting, Vice-Chief. The Chief told him to get her to go to the festival with him and no one else!" Yamazaki tried to reason with the enraged sadist.

"He didn't have to go that far!" Sougo growled, flashbacks of Hijikata touching Kagura's cheek fuelling his anger even more.

Yamazaki sighed deeply.

Whoever thought that a sadist in love, would make everyone else's lives easier, was absolutely wrong.

It was hell. Period.

"Hey Vice-Chief, ever think that there's something wrong, when this much people work together and still can't get you and China together?" The spy muttered.

"What was that?" Sougo asked, testily.

"Nothing." Yamazaki sighed.

Sougo 'Tch!'-ed.

His eyes followed Kagura's every move, up until she bid Hijikata farewell, with a promise to see him later at the festival.

Yamazaki swore he could hear Sougo moan in longing.

"Zaki, what's the plan again?" Sougo asked after China disappeared from his sight.

"Um, let's see if I got this right." Yamazaki said, thoughtfully, "China makes Hijikata-san her date to the festival. Hijikata-san doesn't show up to the date. China waits for a while, getting hungrier. You show up and offer to act like her date to get her inside. She agrees because by then she is starving. Then LOVE happens. Is that right?"

Sougo nodded in approval.

The two began to make their way back to headquarters.

On the way, Yamazaki turned to the sadist.

"Hey Vice-Chief, If you don't mind me asking, what did you and the yorozuya boss, talk about, back then?"

* * *

After all of them had gathered to help him, Sougo found himself being pulled aside by Gintoki.

The guy had something to discuss with him.

Their conversation had gone something like this:

"Well, boss, what was it you wanted to talk about? If it's about the birds and the bees, don't worry, I'll keep the SM play at bay until China gets used to s*x."

"I'm seriously gonna beat you!" Gintoki growled.

"Sorry, I'm just kidding." Sougo told him, "I'll start with the SM play right off the bat."

"Die!" Gintoki yelled, before landing a hit on the sadist's head with the hilt of his bokuto, "Can't you take anything seriously? Geez!"

"Sorry." Sougo mumbled, looking a bit embarrassed.

Gintok sighed.

"Oy, You may have all of us helping you, but you do know that in the end, it all comes down to you, right?" he asked the boy, studying his face intently.

"I know that, boss." Sougo replied, straightening himself, "Its just- I-I'm a-afria-"

"Of course you're afraid. Everyone is when it comes to love. That doesn't mean you keep pulling bullsh*t, though! We can pull off all the crazy stunts and set up endless situations for you, but Kagura finally accepting you, is all up to you." Gintoki told him.

"Okita-kun," Gin continued, looking the sadist right in the eye, "Are you ready to be honest about your feelings to Kagura? Because if you aren't, then us doing any of this, won't mean anything."

Sougo was silent.

Gintoki was just about to question him again, when he suddenly found himself staring into burning red eyes, full of determination.

"I'd lay out my soul for her, if it meant I could be with Kagura." Sougo declared.

Gintoki smirked.

"That's as good a reply as any." Gin replied, he then turned to the others, "Hey bastards, we got work to do!"

* * *

Sougo looked at Yamazaki.

"We didn't talk about anything much, just stuff about SM play and giving my soul to China."

"W-what!?" Yamazaki exclaimed.

"Never mind that, Zaki. We got more important things to think about." Sougo said, ignoring the spy's confusion.

"We got a festival to go to, after all." He added with a smirk.

* * *

 _Til next time! I wonder what will happen at the festival, hmm...  
_

 _First of all, have you guys seen the new OP and ED for the re-run episodes? I listened to the 'kyou mo sakura mau akatsuki ni' while writing this, I love CHICO and Honeyworks!_

 _Also, for those that want to watch the re-runs (they don't have subs though) just google 'Tokyo Tv live stream' and there are links to a live stream of the channel that airs the re-runs. Also, google 'tokyo tv schedule' before hand to know when to watch for Gintama (make sure to calculate to you timezone, the sched is Tokyo time) . Basically, the re-runs are just the normal episode with a short clip of an interview with one of the live-action casts at the end. last week it was Gintoki's actor, this week was Kagura's, next week is Otae's. You can find these interview clips (after they air of course) if you search a bit on youtube or some Gintama fan pages._

 _Anyway, critique is welcome! and I might update Mondays or Tuesdays from now on, so hang in there! Bye..._


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Eion1783: Ah oh no, I made you root for Hijikagu instead! Lol. I wa actually tempted a few times to turn this into HijiKagu but my Okikagu heart refused. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **deriz: Yay, glad you began reading the manga, there's lots of extra gintama arcs and chapters they didn't animate, so it should be fun. You don't have to watch the re-runs, it's pretty late to watch if you live in asia, plus no subs. As for the Hijikata love dilemma, No, I will not make him fall in love in this story. I can't just forget his real love for Mitsuba like that. But yeah I do want Sougo to suffer a bit more, so stay tuned! hope you like this one as well!**

 **Hellooo: noooo don't switch teams! OkiKagu has OkiKagu T-shirts, courtesy of Sougo! But glad you enoyed the Hijikagu and the chapter, ope you like this one as well!**

 **LaydiiV: you're wait is over, hope you like this chapter too!**

 **Yumisaki Shinju: aw I am so sorry for making you feel like this. Don't worry, I will give Hijikata a nice ending, just not with Kagura. But I'm planning to write a real HijiKagu story soon so stay tuned, Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Addicted-toOkiKagu-and-BTS: haha glad you like the last two chapters! Also, Omg Kouka really said that? I already forgot but kyaaah that might be another OkiKagur clue from Gorilla sensei! yeah I hope for an OkiKagu ending too, but so far in the last arc, not much interaction yet. T_T we just gotta hang in there. hope you like this chapter though!**

 **TooLazyToLogin: lol, that's Hijikata's current life 'Sadist Problems'. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, hope you like this one as well!**

 **Guest: aaah I'm so sorry for making you have this dilemma! I am planning to write a HijiKagu fanfic later so I hope that satisfies your HijiKagu feels, but not in this one, sorry. Hope you enjoy this one too!**

 ***Enjoy guys, Hope you have fun reading this!**

 *****if there is mistakes in grammar and spelling, I apologize. I reviewed it once but in my current state of mind (lack of sleep, school stress, work) I can't really spot mistakes properly.**

* * *

Kagura skipped all the way back to the Yorozuya.

She only realized, when she arrived, how that one meeting with Hijikata, made her feel a whole lot better already.

"Tch, maybe I should just go for him instead." she said to herself, with a frown.

Sadly, that idiot sadist still occupied her heart.

"Don't think about him now!" Kagura exclaimed, smacking her face between her palms, "Focus on the free food!"

An excited giggle escaped her lips.

She was so going to have a great time at the festival!

* * *

Humming a random jingle, Kagura entered her home, only to pause suddenly.

She had sensed other people in the place.

Certainly not Gin-chan, his dirty boots weren't in the doorway.

"What the hell are you wearing, Sarutobi!?" A familiar voice growled.

"Shut up! You're just jealous of my date with Gin-san!" Another familiar voice shrieked.

Kagura pulled open the screen door to the living room.

"Tsukki? Ero-Ninja?" She greeted the occupants in the room, "What are you guys doing here?"

Tsukuyo and Sacchan stopped arguing immediately.

"Ah, Kagura. About time you got back. I was beginning to worry we'd be late." Tsukuyo greeted the younger girl.

"Who are you calling Ero-Ninja?" Sacchan shrieked, "It's sexy-ninja!"

"That's what you're complaining about?" Tsukuyo commented.

"Oy, what the hell are you wearing, Ero-Ninja? Did Tsukki get you a job at Yoshiwara or something?" Kagura asked, her eyes clouding when she noticed the ninja's outfit.

Sacchan sported what Kagura supposed to be a Kimono, but, it had holes in places that shouldn't have holes and the whole thing was skin tight.

"As If I'd let her work at Yoshiwara." Tsukki said, "Even her level of perverseness is looked down upon there!"

"As if I care what you girls think! I'm wearing it for Gin-san." Sacchan said, defensively.

"Oy, you better change then. They ain't gonna let someone dressed like that, inside the festival. 'Gin-san' will be pissed if you keep him away from his candied apples." Kagura told her.

Sacchan's eyes bulged.

"R-really? Gin-san will be mad?" She exclaimed. The ninja began tugging at her clothes, doubtfully.

Tsukuyo regarded Kagura with approval. The girl had somehow managed to convince the idiot to change.

"Y-you think, If he's mad he'd spank me!?" Sacchan added in a squeal.

The ninja immediately had a Kunai stuck on her forehead.

"That's what you were going on about, damn ero-ninja!?" Tsukuyo yelled.

"Gyaaah! Tsukki, what the hell was that for!?"

"Die, perverted glasses!"

* * *

After calming the two older women down, Kagura settled the both of them in different parts of the room.

"Oy, why the hell am I in the closet!?" Sacchan shrieked. The closet door shook with the woman's fury.

"You're annoying!" Kagura yelled back.

The ninja broke out of Kagura's bedroom and sat herself on the couch, opposite Tsukki.

They glared at each other.

Kagura sighed.

"So what are you both doing here, again?" She asked, in an attempt to break the tension.

"Oh right. Gintoki came to Yoshiwara and asked Hinowa, if she had a Kimono you could borrow." Tsukuyo informed her.

Kagura's eyes widened.

"Gin-chan did that for me?" She asked.

"It surprised me too." Tsukuyo admitted, "Anyway, I came here to deliver it, as well as offer my assistance if you need help putting it on."

Kagura threw herself at Tsukuyo.

"Thank you, Tsukki!" She squealed.

The older woman smiled and hugged her back.

* * *

"Well, what are you doing here?" Kagura asked Sacchan, after letting go of Tsukuyo.

Her and the courtesan of death gave the ninja judgemental looks.

"Don't look at me with those eyes!" Sacchan shrieked at them, "I'm here because I'm Gin-san's date to the festival. I came in the hopes to get ready with a bunch of girls like in the dramas. But, sadly, only two, negative zero experience, women are here."

"You're the one with negative zero experience in being a respectable woman!" Tsukuyo growled at Sacchan and her outfit.

The two may or may not have began to squabble, but Kagura paid them no attention.

"Hey Tsukki, is this the Kimono you brought?" Kagura asked, she had spotted a bag on Gin's desk.

"Yes, that's the one. Look at it and see if you like it. I can always bring a different one. We still have time." Tsukuyo told her, while trying to keep Sacchan away from her face.

Kagura unzipped the bag and out fell a dark blue garment.

The girl gasped as she unfolded it.

"Tsukki, It's beautiful!" She exclaimed.

Tsukuyo smiled, "We thought you'd like it."

The courtesan pushed Sacchan off of her and walked over to Kagura.

"Why don't you take a bath, and I'll help you put this on, after?" She asked.

"Un!" Kagura squealed before running to the bathroom.

As soon as the girl disappeared, Tsukuyo took out a walkie-talkie.

"Everything is going well here." She said into the device.

"Is that so? Good, good." A bored voice replied.

"Oy, is that pachinko sounds I hear?!" Tsukuyo growled.

"Ah sh*-!" and static took over.

Tsukuyo sighed, deeply.

She completely sympathized with Kagura's situation, after all, Loving an idiot was hard.

* * *

Hijikata's face darkened the moment he entered his room.

The whole place was full of all the stuff Sougo had made when he had been harassing Kagura.

The walls were lined with OkiKagu/SadChi posters and T-shirts, the floor had boxes of stuffed Sougo's and bride magazines, and for some reason, Hijikata's futon was now dressed in a Sadist bed sheet.

"You, bastards, what the hell did you do to my room!?" he shouted.

Kondo's head popped out of a box of 'Sougo and Kagura' wedding flyers.

"Calm down Toshi. This is just temporary storage. Everywhere else was reported to be occupied in the compound." He told his steaming subordinate.

"Oh yeah? Who the hell reported these places full, huh?" Hijikata growled.

"Well, Sougo did..." Kondo said.

"I'm gonna kill that sadist!" Hijikata hissed, already making his way to his old office.

"Ah Toshi! Don't, if you do that, China will be sad!" Kondo shouted after the pissed off man.

Hijikata paused in his step, he let out a 'Tch!' before coming back to his room.

"This sh*t better be out of here soon." He growled.

"Of course, I'll have some men take it away as soon as we find space." Kondo reassured him.

Hijikata sighed.

Just when he was in a good mood, after making up with Kagura, this had to happen.

"Oy, Kondo-san. Can you get out of here for a bit. I gotta change for the festival." He said after a while.

"Oh, yeah. Sure, sorry." Kondo said sheepishly.

The gorilla stepped out of the box he was in and left the room.

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed again.

There were so many red eyed sadist's and blue eyed china's in his room, that he felt kind of uncomfortable to change in front of them.

"Dammit!" He cursed, before quickly stripping, making sure to throw his shirt on a particularly life-like Sougo banner, and grabbing his nice, winter wear from his closet.

He donned it on and quickly got out of the room.

Hijikata found himself in his old office.

There were still a few hours left until the festival, but he didn't want to spend anymore time in that nightmare room of sadists.

He decided to hang out here for a while.

Hijikata swore under his breath.

"That bastard didn't do sh*t!" He growled as he looked at the piles of papers on the desk.

He sighed and sat himself on his old chair.

Soon, he was deep in thought.

* * *

The passed few days had been chaotic.

Hijikata had gone from playing a fake boyfriend, being a sadist's number one victim (not that that was any different from normal), playing the bad guy, being depressed, getting hit by a sadist parade mobile, getting mowed down by an angry China, and back to being a fake date again.

The whole experience had made him feel a whirlwind of emotions and a new dimension of pain and annoyance.

Yet, he still appreciated every second of it.

Getting to know China, or should he say, Kagura, was something he would never regret.

He didn't know why they hadn't done it earlier.

They had gotten along surprisingly well and worked pretty damn good together.

Sure, it had been awkward at first, but once they got rid of that, it had felt pretty nice being with the girl.

Don't misunderstand, He didn't think of her in that way, like the sadist did.

Well, maybe he doesn't, he didn't really know.

In all honesty, Hijikata had not allowed himself, even one thought or consideration, of seeing the girl in a romantic light.

No, he couldn't and shouldn't.

Yet, for some reason, here, all alone in his office, he imagined for one second, that they really were going on a real date later.

The sudden quickening of his heartbeat and a strange bubbling in his stomach, quickly made him stop thinking about it.

No, he couldn't do that to Sougo.

Plus, there was already one woman in Sougo's life that he loved.

...and still loved.

Hijikata sighed and got up.

"A walk sounds good right about now." He muttered.

He still had time.

From the second floor of the compound, a lone gorila watched, as a mayonnaise addict made his way towards an all too familiar graveyard in the hills, carrying a bag of, what suspiscously looked like spicy rice crackers.

* * *

Sougo had been a ball of nerves until the package arrived.

When he spotted who it was from, a smile formed on his lips.

"I update them once on what's been going on, and they send me a damn care package. Do those geezers have anything better to do?" He muttered.

Yet, he still ripped open the package.

His eyes widened in surprise.

* * *

Sougo had received a letter from the old couple, a few days ago.

They had asked him how things were going and, after the fiasco where he had made Kagura angry with him, he'd confessed everything in his reply.

He had tacked on their latest and, hopefully, final plan along with it.

Now, it appeared that the couple had read it and sent, in their own little way, their support for him.

Sougo held out the Yukata that had come out of the package.

A note fell out of it.

"This was mine when I was younger. I doubt your idiot big head can fit, though. The wife says the color would bring out your eyes, but I dunno why she'd want that. They look like the color of rotten strawberries. You better come back here and bring this back! Good luck on the festival, remember, this is just your whole love life riding on it." He read.

Sougo felt his smile grow wider.

"Damn old man." He mumbled, as he tried it on.

It fit him perfectly.

"You ready, Vice-Chief?" Yamazaki asked, suddenly entering the room.

The spy froze.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Sougo replied, he pushed passed Yamazaki and made his way to the bathroom.

Yamazaki gulped.

He swore, he just saw a tear on the sadist's face.

* * *

The spy cautiously went after Sougo, only to bump into him coming out of the bathroom.

"What are you doing, Zaki? Aren't we going now?" Sougo asked.

"Ah, sorry, sir. I was just-oh!" Yamazaki stared in awe.

Sougo was dressed in a deep red Yukata with an 'array of autumn leaves' design.

"What?" He asked the shocked spy.

"N-nothing, Vice-Chief. You just look good!" Yamazaki exclaimed.

"Oy, why do you sound surprised? I always look good." Sougo told him.

"S-sure, sir! Anyway, the car is ready now." Yamazaki said, attempting to straighten himself out.

He too had on festival wear, because, for some amazing reason, Tama had agreed to go with him.

Yamazaki was excited, but, standing beside a well dressed sadist, he felt a little plain.

He and Sougo made their way to the car.

"To the festival, sir?" The driver asked.

"Yeah." Sougo confirmed, he turned to Yamazaki, "Let's go get Kagura."

* * *

"Kondo-san, what is the meaning of this?" Otae asked, her scarily polite smile on her face.

Both Shinpachi and Kondo shook with fear.

The two had never thought to tell the scary woman, that they were each other's pretend date.

"I-it's not what you think, Otae-san!" Kondo exclaimed.

"You and Shinpachi got set up by Gin-san, while carrying out your guys' plan to get Kagura-chan and the Shinsengumi boy together?" Otae asked.

The two blinked at her.

"Okay, it is what you think it is." Kondo admitted.

"How did you know that, Aneue!?" Shinpachi asked.

"Because Gin-san told me." She said with a smile.

Kondo and Shinpachi's face darkened.

"Then what was the point of scaring us like that?" They chorused.

"Wait, Yorozuya is here already?" Kondo asked.

They were at the entrance of the festival.

All those part of the 'OkiKagu' plan had been told to get a date and gather there, before Kagura arrived.

"Of course, he's over there with his date!" Otae said, pointing to where the perm-head was.

Shinpachi's face darkened again.

"Why is he with Tsukuyo-san?" He asked.

"Oh, well apparantly, Sarutobi-san tried to prepare some contraption in Gin-san's bedroom and got herself tangled in the process. Tsukuyo-san left her there and came as Gin-san's replacement date." Otae told them.

Shinpachi's hand instantly shot up in the air.

"Excuse me, I'd like to have a replacement date as well!" He shrieked.

"Me too!" Kondo added.

"Too bad, you two. There aren't any girls left." Otae said.

Kondo immediately began to puff air out of his nose.

"Weeelll, Otae-san, there is always yo-ACK!" he tried to say, but didn't get to finish.

"Step away from my date, Gorilla." Kyubei announced, as she removed her boot from Kondo's face.

"Ah, Kyu-chan! I didn't think you'd come! In that case, here's a girl to be one of your dates then!" Otae said, cheerfully.

Shinpachi, Kyubei and Kondo looked at each other.

"What?" they chorused.

"Wait, Otae-san, I thought you invited me here as your date!?" Kyubei complained.

"Ah, sorry, Kyu-chan. I should have been more specific. I already have my own date. I invited you because there were available dates for you to go with as well." Otae apologized.

Kyubei began to blush.

"B-but, I don't want to go with anyone else but Y-yo-ACK!" she fell face first onto the street.

"Ah, sorry. I didn't see you there. I can't really see through this." A guy in a cardboard suit with a paper bag over his face said as he helped the poor girl up.

Shinpachi squinted at the newcomer.

"Hasegawa-san!?" he exclaimed.

"Ah, my date is here. About time you got here, Hasegawa-san!" Otae greeted, cheerfully, "Ah, and you wore the outfit I picked out for you!"

Kyubei's, Kondo's and Shinpachi's face darkened.

"This is your date!?" Kyubei exclaimed.

"You'd rather go with a cockroach than a gorilla!?" Kondo whined.

"I disapprove!" Shinpachi shrieked, "Also, Aneue, that's mean! Why'd you make him wear a paper bag over his head?!"

"It's for the festival! You know, like all the masks the children wear." Otae replied with a smile.

"That's not festive at all though! It looks like you're hiding his face on purpose!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"I am." Otae said, still smiling.

"Aneue, at least deny it will you?" Shinpachi said, exasperated.

"Oy, I was wondering who the noisy bunch were. So it was you guys, huh?" someone said.

They turned and found themselves facing Gin and Tsukuyo.

"You mean you didn't even know we were here? How? I was riding behind you on your scooter!" Shinpachi shrieked.

"You were? No wonder I felt slower than usual." Gin said, nonchalantly.

"Um, May I ask why this one is wearing a paper bag?" Tsukuyo inquired, staring at Madao.

"I'm trying to get into the festival spirit!" Madao said sheepishly.

"You're emitting a totally different spirit though!" Kyubei commented.

"Otae-san, gorilla's don't have those creepy feelers cockroaches have!" Kondo stated.

"Aneue, don't draw a better looking face on Hasegawa-san's paper bag please, he's had enough embarrassment!" Shinpachi shreiked.

"Hasegawa-san, can you hand me the yellow marker, I've always wanted to try dating a blonde!" Otae said.

Soon, different arguments broke out among the idiots.

Little did they know, that two different cars and one giant dog, were about to arrive and give them a whole new dilemma to worry about.

* * *

 _Til next time, I will be updating this on Mondays or Tuesdays so check in then for new chapters._

 _*Also, I apologize if I'm getting the festival wear wrong. I know Yukata is for summer festivals but I dunno if guys wear Kimono's for winter like girls do. I googled about it but couldn't find much. Correct me if I'm wrong in a review, please. I'm pretty interested in this stuff and I'd like to correct myself as well._

 ** _***IMPORTANT: I noticed plenty of people seem to like the HijiKagu a lot, if you guys want, I might think up a special, alternative ending to this that ends in HijiKagu (it might break OkiKagu hearts though) because from this chapter on, it can only go one way in the Ship, so let me know before next chapter so I can write alternative chapters. I'm actually interested in exploring this alternative outcome._**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Guest: Yeah, I imagine Sougo looks damn good too. Yeah, in my heart, I can't really ship anyone with Hijikata, except Mitsuba, If only she still lived T_T ah the tragedy! Hope you like this chapter too!  
**

 **deriz: aw thanks! And I am making the HijiKagu alternative end so stay tuned for that! Also, haha, you shouldn't read too much into my notes, I have an evil mind that likes to toy with my reader's hearts, just wait and see how the date goes mwahaha! Hope you like this chapter as well.**

 **kuro8cadenzavna: Sorry, I'm gonna reply to you in english because I'm not sure how well google translate works on this, hope that's okay. thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed the Hasegawa scene! and don't worry, it will end in OkiKagu, just a different ending for the HijiKagu. Hope you like this chapter too!**

 **Yongi2.0: Yay! so glad I'm doing the source material justice! best compliment ever! also, hmm, HijiTsu sounds interesting, I might explore that lol. Don't worry, with your and other people's feedback, I decided to do the two endings, stay tuned! Hope you like this chapter as well! (I totally ship KonTae as well ^_^)**

 **Shinnypichu88: don't worry, I'm gonna make sure I address all the loose ends, also, Kaguonbu sounds right! lol. Don't forget, HijiMayo though. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **LadiiV: aw thanks glad you like it! Also glad that I got Otae right, lol. Hope you like this one too!**

 **Suzanne Coldfeather: First of all, cool username! Don't worry, It WILL end with OkiKagu...just with alternative chapters that end in HijiKagu, but OkiKagu shippers don't have to read them, it's lie a totally different dimension now lol. Thanks for the compliment, btw! made me feel as happy as when Kagura gets Sukonbu! Hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **aesthetic umbrella: also, super cool username! and yeah, I'm doing the two endings, hope you will like them! But yeah, OkiKagu forever! Hope you enjoy this chapter too!**

 **Addicted-to-OkiKagu-andBTS: First of all, thanks to your username, I checked out BTS.. and omg I'm becoming a fan! aaah... I may have a crush on V lol. Also, yes, hail the cardboard god, Hasegawa! Yeah, If only Mitsuba was alive, poor Toshi! Don't worry, The alternative endings will happen, hope you'll like them! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Eion1783: Maybe I should have a third ending where everyone goes back to their normal lives and Madao is the one that gets a happy ending lol. I feel like I've been bullying him in this story. But, don't worry, alternative ending is gonna happen so stay tuned! Hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **Blue Lilybell: ah haha I feel bad for infecting people with HijiKagu feels, but don't worry, Toshi will get his own alternative ending! Stay tuned for that! Also, ikr? Sougo is an idiot in so many ways when it comes to Kagura, Tsk Tsk! Lastly, ooh you like angst huh? well there's gonna be some later so goodluck huhuhu! Hope you enjoy this chapter too!**

 *****so after plenty of feedback, I have decided to do two endings, one that ends in OkiKagu (the sort-of true end) and one that ends in HijiKagu (alternate end) . This chapter marks the crossroads and the last chapter before the story splits into two separate ends. Hope you guys enjoy this!**

* * *

"Oy, get this exchanged, somewhere." Tsukuyo ordered her 'date'.

Gintoki stared at her, then at the gold bar she held out, then back up at her again.

God did she want to punch that face and also kis-Ah! Yeah, punch it. Just punch it, period.

"Why do I have to do that? You know how long the lines at banks and stuff are, huh?" The ever polite idiot asked.

Tsukuyo frowned, "You're the one that came with no money to a festival. Be glad I'm treating you!"

Gin processed this information.

"Ah, is that so, Tsukuyo-sama? I always knew you were kindhearted." Gintoki gasped, his tone taking a three-sixty degree turn into absolute kiss-a*s, "Arara! Is that a feather on your shoulder, Tsukuyo-sama? Must be from your wings when you flew down from heaven!"

"W-what the hell are you going on about?" The Courtesan of death stammered.

Tsukuyo didn't know what to feel, so naturally, she planted a kunai right on Gin's forehead.

With blood dripping down his face, Gintoki sheepishly made his way to exchange the gold.

Alone, Tsukki let out a sigh of relief.

It was nerve-wrecking enough pretending to be his date, She couldn't afford to be distracted now.

She was here to help Kagura, no one else.

A smile crept up on Tsukuyo's lips.

She recalled what had happened only a few hours ago, when Kagura put on the Kimono she'd brought.

* * *

"Hurry up! I want to use the bathroom too, brat!" Sacchan screamed.

"Stop bothering her, Sarutobi! Also, take that damn outfit off already and put on something decent for once!" Tsukuyo growled at the ninja.

They squabbled a bit in front of the bathroom door.

Unnoticed by them, Kagura had finally come out.

"Ahem!" She let out.

Sacchan proceeded to put Tsukuyo in a headlock.

"Ahahahem!" Kagura tried again.

Tsukuyo countered by throwing the ninja over her shoulders.

"AAAAHHEEEEMMM!" Kagura screamed.

Both ladies paused and turned her way.

"Do you need a cup of water?" They chorused, obliviously.

An anger mark popped up on Kagura's temple.

"I'm going back inside." She muttered, entering the bathroom again.

"W-wait, Kagura! We're sorry!" Tsukuyo quickly apologized, grabbing the girl's hand before she closed the door.

"I'm not sorry." Sacchan mumbled from Tsukuyo's arm-lock.

"You're not helping, Sarutobi!" Tsukuyo growled.

"Forget it, Im not cut out for this girly stuff." Kagura muttered as she pulled out of Tsukuyo's grip.

* * *

Just as the door swung closed, something stopped it.

"Kagura, You're a beautiful young woman. This isn't girly stuff, its just something you normally experience at that age. Have more confidence in your self." Tsukuyo said in a soothing voice.

"You really think I'm beautiful?" Kagura asked in a tiny voice, her eye peeking out from the gap in the door.

"Of course, and I'm not the only one who thinks that. Have you ever wondered why Shinpachi and Gintoki gets into so many fights, whenever you guys walk around in public? Those idiots have been keeping away guys, left and right, from you because you're beautiful." The courtesan replied, an amused smile on her face.

"I thought Gin-chan and Shinpachi were just on their periods, when that happened." Kagura muttered, though Tsukuyo could clearly see a pinkish hue on her cheeks.

Also, someone really had to teach this girl the proper differences between men and women's bodily functions.

Tsukuyo sighed.

"Come on. Show us how you look in the Kimono. Though, I'm sure, even if you were wearing a potato sack, you'd still be one of the prettiest girls at the festival."

Kagura giggled.

"F-fine, I'll come out. B-but don't laugh, okay?" She said, with a blush.

"I won't." Tsukuyo reassured her.

They smiled at each other.

"Gyaaah! Tsukki! How could you shove my head in between the door like that!?" Sacchan shrieked from inside the door gap, "You're jealous of my date with Gin-san, aren't you!?"

The smiles instantly faded.

"First, we gotta rid of the annoying things in the room." Tsukuyo and Kagura chorused.

With a quick throw, Sacchan found herself flying into Gin's bedroom, the door locking behind her.

Tsukuyo and Kagura sighed in relief.

"Anyway, let's see." Tsukuyo said as she positioned Kagura in front of her.

The Courtesan's eyes widened.

"Tsukki? Is it that bad?" Kagura asked, doubtful, after noticing her reaction.

Tsukuyo quickly looked away, hiding her face.

"N-no no, it's not bad at all. You..." she paused, a sob escaped her lips, "You look so beautiful and grown up!" then the courtesan of death, leader of the Hyakka, protector of Yoshiwara, promptly burst into tears.

"Tsukki!?" Kagura exclaimed, instantly panicking from making the older woman cry.

Suddenly, a 'Tch!' came from Gintoki's room.

"J-just because you don't look like a brat anymore, and you might actually have some sex-appeal now... I'm still prettier!" Sacchan shrieked from inside, followed by uncontrollable sobs.

"Don't-" Sniff, "Be-" Sniff, "So-" Sniff, "Petty, Sarutobi!" Tsukuyo blubbered.

Kagura's pupils rolled back into the back of her head.

"W-what's gotten in to you two?" She asked.

Still crying, Tsukuyo wordlessly pointed at the full length mirror nearby.

Kagura cocked her head to the side in curiosity, and approached it.

She gasped.

* * *

Kagura had never felt grown up or remotely girly.

Even when she had hit eighteen years of age, she still felt immature and childish and an incurable tomboy.

Those around her would always tell her to act her age, as well.

Yet, seeing what she looked like now.

Kagura felt like she truly was a young woman, for the first time.

She looked stunning and mature in the kimono.

It brought out a strength and grace that she never thought she possessed.

Tsukuyo and Hinowa had definitely chosen the right Kimono.

The dark blue color with a slight hint of pink and orange, representing the night sky on the edge of dawn, highlighted Kagura's eyes and hair, while the subtle, pink, cherry blossoms design added femininity and elegance.

Kagura couldn't stop staring at her reflection.

She looked strong and beautiful.

She was grown up.

She-

A sob came. Then another.

Kagura burst into tears.

Tsukuyo rushed to the girl's side.

"Kagura, We're sorry. We shouldn't have gotten so emotional." She said, though she still sniffed here and there "Please, don't cry. We'll pull ourselves together."

Kagura rubbed at her eyes.

"N-no, it's not that." She managed to say, in between sobs and gasps.

"What's wrong?" Tsukuyo inquired.

"It's just," Kagura began, gulping back her tears, "When I saw myself, I-"

She broke out in sobs again.

"Kagura?" Tsukuyo asked in a small voice.

"I look like my mami!" The Yato let out.

* * *

After that, Sarutobi burst out of Gintoki's room and all three proceeded to cry their hearts out.

The ninja was the first to calm down and immediately went on the hunt for something to wipe their faces with.

She came back with a bunch of Shinpachi's double striped Yukatas, and all three women proceeded to blow their noses on them.

"You're mother must have been very beautiful." Tsukuyo said, as she used the double stripped sleeves to dab at her eyes.

"She was." Kagura confirmed, smiling softly.

"Too bad she gave birth to a brat like yo-ACK!" Sacchan tried to say, but was rewarded with a dirty yukata to the face.

"A-anyway, we should get you cleaned up and ready. I brought hair ornaments and accessories as well." Tsukuyo said, trying to save the nice atmosphere.

"Really?" Kagura asked, excitedly.

"Sit over here, I'll do your hair. You can pick out which accessory you want, during then." Tsukuyo told her, patting the spot on front of her.

"Thanks Tsukki!" Kagura exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"I guess I have no choice." Sacchan grumbled.

"Huh?" Kagura asked.

The ninja said nothing, instead, she placed herself in front of the younger woman.

"Don't you dare bite me, brat!" she warned.

Then, to the surprise of Kagura, Sacchan took out a make up bag from somewhere and began to work on Kagura's face.

"You..." kagura began, her eyes wide, "You're actually nice!"

"Of course, I am!" Sacchan shrieked, "Now stop moving or you'll end up looking like those trannies you guys hang out with!"

Kagura looked at her feet.

"Tsukki...Ero-ninja...Thank you." She mumbled.

"Geez, don't start crying again, Your make up is gonna get ruined."

"We're glad to do it, Kagura."

* * *

Back in the present, Tsukuyo's good mood from the reminiscing, instantly waned when a police car arrived at festival entrance.

"Oy, Gintoki! I thought you said the plan was that this guy would cancel, so that the guy Kagura likes, takes over as her date?" She growled at the perm-head, while watching Hijikata come out of the vehicle.

Gintoki walked up to her, fresh from the gold exchange with a bag of cash.

"Oh, did no one tell you?" He asked, as he handed her a small brown paper envelope, while he kept the bag for himself, "The plan's changed."

Tsukuyo's face darkened.

"What?" She asked.

"Well, me and the others came up with another plan, you see. The Sadist wasn't there for the meeting though." Gin continued, already buying a candied apple from a vendor stationed at the entrance.

"Why did you guys change it without telling him or us?" Tsukuyo asked, getting angry.

"That's obvious isn't it?" Gintoki replied, He bit into the apple, "That bastard ain't gonna have an easy time getting Kagura. We'll make sure of that."

His face contorted into that of a demon, giggling darkly.

Tsukuyo stepped back from the over-protective idiot.

A shiver ran up her spine.

Behind her, a chorus of dark giggling also came.

Shinpachi and the others had joined in.

"You bastard, what are you planning!?" Tsukuyo growled.

"Simple," Gin said, his usual dead-fish eyes, glinting, "Hell for the Sadist."

With thunder and lightning in the background, Gin-zebub let out a laugh of pure evil, followed by chocking on his candied apple.

* * *

Sougo had to admit, he was nervous as hell.

He, subconsciously, kept pulling at his Yukata.

He fixed the slightest crease, straightened the smallest fold.

"Vice-Chief, you okay? Yamazaki inquired.

It was scary being in the back seat with the sadist.

It was scarier when said sadist was in a nervous and unpredictable state.

"Yeah. Just going over the plan in my head. Oy, Zaki..." Okita said.

"Yes, sir?" Yamazaki replied.

"The part about 'love happens' after I become her replacement date. How exactly do we carry that out again?" Sougo asked, a surprising bead of sweat dripped down his face.

"Uh well, The Yorozuya boss said that that's the part you do by yourself." Yamazaki told him, his eyes following the sweat drop's movement, along the contours of Sougo's cheek.

"Oh right." Sougo replied, in a hollow voice.

"You're really nervous, aren't you?" Yamazaki asked, feeling kind of sorry for the guy.

"Hey Zaki, let me give you a Mohawk. I'm sure It will calm me down." Sougo added.

Never mind, Yamazaki thought, he can go get his heart crushed by China.

* * *

Kagura was late.

It wasn't her fault.

There was an earthquake and the roads broke on her way to the festival.

At least that's the excuse she'd use when she got to there.

In truth, she had just gotten hungry and decided to have a bite, before leaving the house.

This had then smeared her lipstick and it had taken her a painstakingly longtime to fix it, with her limited make-up skills.

"Faster, Sadaharu!" She told the white ball of fluff she was riding.

"WROW!" Sadaharu replied enthusiastically.

Kagura had promised him a taste of the festival food as well, courtesy of her very generous date, if he got her there soon.

With one big leap, they landed near the festival entrance, and, unfortunately, right on top of Madao.

* * *

"Ah, Sadaharu, bad! Spit him out right now, you don't know where he's been!" Kagura scolded her pet.

The dog whimpered as he let go of Madao's head.

"Thanks Kagura-chan." Hasegawa-san mumbled, his face bleeding from the bite.

"About time you got he-" a voice said, chocking halfway.

Kagura turned around to find herself face to face with a stunned Hijikata.

His still lit cigarette had fallen out of his gaping mouth.

"Oh uh, hi!" Kagura greeted him, shyly.

She suddenly felt very self-conscious.

"Um, you're staring." She muttered, blushing.

Hijikata coughed.

"S-sorry. It's just,You look great." He mumbled, avoiding her eyes.

Kagura broke out into a smile.

"Thanks!" She replied.

"S-shall we go, then?" Hijikata asked, still not looking at her, though he held out a hand.

Kagura shyly took it.

"Sure." She told him.

* * *

The two made their way to the people at the entrance.

Otae and the other girls gushed at Kagura's look, while Gin and Shinpachi gauged the men's eyes out.

"Oy, unless you want to be blind, I suggest you keep your gaze on her face." Gintoki warned Hijikata, shoving his forehead against the mayonnaise addict's.

"I gaze at whatever I want, and it's definitely not at your ugly mug, so get the hell away from me!" Hijikata growled, pushing Gintoki away from him.

"Gin-chan." Kagura suddenly called her guardian.

"Haaah?" Gintoki replied, still in 'annoy Hijikata mode'.

"What do you think? I-I know It's not really my usual style but-" Kagura tried to ask, her face pink.

Gin cleared his throat, straightening himself out.

"You look good. Own it. Don't question yourself." Gintoki told her, placing his hand gently on the top of her head.

This, immediately, made the girl smile.

"Oy, good job!" Gin added, calling out to Tsukuyo.

A short distance away, Tsukuyo looked half pleased, half flustered.

"Well then, shall we go inside?" Otae asked, as she fixed the paper bag back onto Hasegawa-san's head, after Sadaharu had knocked it off.

"Let's go!" The others exclaimed, Kagura being the loudest.

* * *

"Sh*t!" Sougo cursed.

It's like the world was trying to prevent him, from getting to the festival.

First it was the traffic, now a flat tire.

"We'll get it fixed as soon as possible!" The driver announced, after seeing his boss' pissed off face.

"I-I'll help!" Yamazaki offered.

The men set to work while Sougo paced, impatiently.

"Huh? Why does it look like a knife cu-!" The driver said.

Yamazaki promptly knocked him out.

Sougo turned around, after hearing the driver hit the ground.

"What happened?" He asked.

"He was checking the tire and accidentally hit his head on the car." Yamazaki lied.

Sougo swore again.

Unbelievable.

Now he knew why Hijikata always had high blood pressure.

So many of the men were incompetent.

"What do we do now captain?" Yamazaki asked.

Unnoticed by Sougo, the spy kept looking at his watch, every now and then.

"Keep working on that tire while I think of something else." Sougo ordered.

Figures, he wouldn't offer to help, Yamazaki thought.

He deserved to experience whatever the boss had in store for him.

* * *

Sougo tried to think of another way to get to the festival.

Unfortunately, he couldn't concentrate due to the amount of noisy motorbikes passing by.

Wait a minute.

"Shinsegumi, I'm commandeering your bike." The sadist declared, after he had knocked off a rider, mid-drive, with his sheathed sword.

"No way!" the rider yelled back.

Sougo unsheathed his sword.

"D-drive safely!" The rider said in a tiny voice, offering Sougo his helmet.

"Thanks, you can have the car." Sougo told him, getting onto the motorbike.

The rider blinked at the broken down police car with a Yamazaki underneath it.

"There's a guy fixing it." The rider commented.

"You can have him too." Sougo said, as he revved up the engine, "Well, see ya."

And off he went.

* * *

There were only a few times in his life, that Sougo had been so angry, he almost went berserk.

There was the time the rift between Hijikata, him and his sister happened, all the times Kondo-san had been captured or hurt seriously, and now.

The sadist had finally arrived at the festival, yet, no one was there.

The plan was for all the 'couples' to go in one by one, Kagura being the last.

Being left alone, with no date, she'd feel desperate enough to give Sougo a chance.

And a chance was all Sougo needed.

So why the hell was the entrance empty of couples and Kagura?

"They better not be f*cking with me." Sougo muttered, angrily.

He trudged towards the entrance, where he was promptly stopped by some organizers.

"Sorry sir, but you need a date to get in." An old man organizer told him.

Sougo glared at him until he whimpered.

"Please, behave accordingly. We will not hesitate to call security." A woman organizer warned.

A light bub lit up in Sougo's head.

"Shinsengumi, Vice-Chief Okita, at your service." He announced, showing them his badge.

"Woah!" The organizers exclaimed at the shiny thing.

He shoved the badge back into his pocket with a smirk, "We are taking measures to prevent any Joi activity happening during the festival. I'm here personally to patrol. Can you please let me in, so I can do my job?"

The organizers looked at each other, confused with what to do.

While they discussed, Sougo tried to catch a glimpse of any familiar idiots inside the festival grounds.

Unfortunately, he saw none.

"Thank you for your service." one of the organizers finally said.

Sougo stepped through the gate, he was finally in.

* * *

The festival was booming.

Endless rows of stands, lined the grounds, a huge stage had been set up at the center, for performances, street performers roamed around as well.

Paper lanterns, snow and heart themed decor were strewn everywhere.

Couples of all types could be seen all over the place.

"Dammit, it will be hard to find any of them in this crowd." Sougo muttered to himself.

He pushed and shoved through the sea of couples, checking every face for someone he knew.

Just as he was about to get pissed off again, and start thinking up a way to 'clear' away the couples, he spotted them.

There, at a ring toss stand, were Kagura and Hijikata.

Sougo's throat turned dry when he got a good look at the girl he loved.

She was so breathtakingly gorgeous that it was safe to say, Sougo's heart skipped a beat.

And this is Sougo we're talking about, his heart doesn't really do much skipping.

He was just about to take a step forward, towards them when he heard it.

Kagura had let out a wonderful laugh.

A sound he'd never heard before, in his vicinity.

It seemed Hijikata had done something that had amused her greatly.

Sougo blinked.

How could he have not noticed it before.

They were holding hands.

His heart scrunched up suddenly.

He just saw the way she looked at Hijikata.

She laughed again.

Sougo began to feel nauseous.

Why?

Why did she seem so happy around that bastard?

Yet, in the back of Sougo's mind, a tiny, irritating voice kept asking, if He himself was able to make her laugh like that.

Could Sougo make her as happy as Hijikata was making her, right now?

"Ah, Takoyaki! Let's go, I want some!" Kagura suddenly squealed.

Sougo watched, his chest hurting every second, as the girl dragged Hijikata to the next stall.

He wished he could unsee the sparkle she had in her eyes when she looked at Hijikata, or the pink tinge she had on her cheeks when Hijikata stood closer to her.

* * *

"She looks pretty damn happy, don't ya think?" A voice suddenly said beside Sougo.

Sougo slowly turned and found himself facing Gintoki.

"I don't know about you, but in my opinion, when a girl acts like that with a guy, it means he's good for her." Gin continued.

Sougo couldn't bring himself to speak.

Gintoki leaned closer to his ear, while placing a firm hand on his shoulder.

"It's not too late to turn back now, Okita-kun. She hasn't seen you yet, after all, she's too busy looking at Hijikata-kun over there, to notice any other guy." the man whispered.

And, just as fast as he appeared, Gintoki was gone.

* * *

Sougo, alone again, made a decision.

He took one last look at Kagura, before taking the first step, on the path he had decided on.

* * *

 _And so the crossroads begin. Starting from next chapter, double chapters, one leads to the sort-of true end, the other will be to the alternate end._

 _For those cheering only for OkiKagu, I suggest you don't read the alt. chapters. It might break your heart or something. Sorry! But I'm a sadist.  
_

 _See you guys next time! Criticisms are welcome!_


	19. Chapter 19 okikagu

**A/N: *First of all, I apologize for not writing a chapter last week. My professors surprised me with mid-terms, yay! while my boss surprised me with more shifts, double yay!**

 **Warning, this chapter is short, as well as the alternative chapter.**

 **Review Responses: Guest: Sorry for breaking your heart, It breaks my heart too when I write about Sougo losing Kagura. I hope you enjoy the okikagu chapters though.**

 **aesthetic umbrella: lol you're awesome if you're dad is Gin. hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **XTataraX: thanks for loving this weird story of mine! I understand, please don't read the Hijikagu alternate then because if it broke MY heart when i wrote it, then it will definitely break yours if you read it. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

 **Addicted-to-Okikagu-and-BTS: aah so glad you liked the previous chapter! And sorry, i forgot to describe the hair, well basically it's in a bun but with hair left at the front, a bit like Tsukuyo's but clearer in the middle. Also, omg in this span of a week I got immersed in BTS, lol, how do you deal with these feels? anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **deriz: aw thanks, I am trying to stay healthy, except, thanks to gintama, I've become obsessed with ketchup (thank goodness it isn't mayonnaise) and sukonbu lol. you don't have to read the Hijikagu, I don't like breaking hearts! But hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Blue Lilybell: thanks for your concern!** **and don't force yourself to read the Hijikagu if you can't, i don't want to make people feel bad about their ships. don't worry, i will make sougo suffer, hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Freedom Friday: OKAY! OKAY OKAY! lol, enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **LaydiiV: yeah, don't worry, Sougo will fight! hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Yumisaki Hijikata: haha aw thanks! love you readers too! If you like other ships you should check out my new fanfic called 'unships' though they are weird pairings, hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Angel Soares: haha i love Hijikata too...thats why we should let Kagura be with Okita and take Hijikata for ourselves lol. Kidding hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

* * *

Chapter 19 OKIKAGU VER.

Sougo let out a deep sigh.

He balled his fists and tried to control his breathing.

Why was his heart pounding so much?

Had he always been this much of a sweater?

Sougo shook his head.

Remember what you are doing this for, He told himself.

Remember _who_ you're doing this for.

With that, he stepped forward, towards Kagura and Hijikata's direction.

* * *

Gintoki watched from the shadows.

A smirk graced his lips when he saw the Sadist move.

"Good choice." He muttered.

Gin got up and gave the signal.

Kagura was in the middle of winning her fifth prize of the night, when a firework shot up into the sky.

"Huh? It's not even night yet." She commented.

Before she could say anything else, her instincts suddenly told her she was in danger.

Kagura's eyes immediately darted around for any threats.

All around her were couples.

At least, at first glance that's what they looked like.

It became increasingly apparent, after staring a little longer, that it hadn't only been Kagura and her friends, that had thought of getting 'dates' just to get into the festival.

Cross-dressing guys, same-gender pairs, and people that were obviously related, roamed the festival streets.

It all seemed like a typical, ridiculous, Gintama scene, yet, Kagura couldn't shake off the feeling of danger.

It was only when they got engulfed in the pink smoke, did she realize that perhaps the danger was the firework that had gone off in the first place.

* * *

From experience, Kagura knew she shouldn't breath in any of the stuff, but it was difficult to do nonetheless.

"Oy, Mayora, cover your face, don't breath in!" Kagura warned her date.

She could barely see him through the smoke.

She hoped, with all her might, that he could hear her over the uproar of the increasingly panicked crowd.

People were screaming and running around.

Several people bumped into Kagura, on the seventh time it happened, she got knocked to the ground.

A hand suddenly shot out of the smoke and grabbed her wrist.

The girl instinctively kicked out at the owner of the hand, only to hear a familiar voice say 'ah!'

"Mayora?" Kagura mumbled through her hand.

"C'mon, we're getting out of here!" Hijikata growled, pulling her to her feet.

Kagura was all too glad to leave.

The pink smoke reminded her of the Aizen Kou and, if it was anything like that, this smoke would be turning these couples into troublesome love-sick zombies pretty soon.

* * *

She and Hijikata ran through the crowd at top speed.

It was when they arrived at a less smokey area did Kagura get that sense of danger again.

Her heart began to beat faster when she saw their surroundings.

They weren't close to the exit at all!

In fact, they seemed to have ran deeper into the festival grounds.

Before she could become overwhelmed with panic, Kagura's hair poked her in the eye.

The bun that Tsukuyo had so intricately created on her head, had come loose during their flight.

Kagura instinctively pushed her hair behind her ear.

Or at least tried to.

"Mayora?" she said in a small voice.

Hijikata didn't answer, he wouldn't let go of her wrist.

Kagura's heart pounded harder.

She noticed now how tight her date's grip was.

Why hadn't she checked before, if he had been affected by the smoke?

"Mayo-?" She tried to say again.

"Mayora?" said date finally spoke, "I thought I was 'Toshi-'san'?"

He turned to face her.

Kagura gasped.

"Right, Honey?" Hijikata said, a maniacal smile on his heart-eyed face.

* * *

Sougo let out a barrage of swears that would make even the most vulgar potty-mouths blush.

He had seen the bastard, Hijikata, suddenly adopt a weird look on his face.

The guy had then grabbed Kagura and ran off with her somewhere.

It was only after seeing how the other people around him reacted, did Sougo realize what the smoke's effects were.

"Kagura!" He gasped.

She was in danger.

He immediately ran towards the direction he'd seen hijikata take her.

"I'm coming for you, so please, wait a little longer," Sougo growled as he pushed his lungs to their capacity, running whilst trying to breathe as little as possible.

He pushed passed deranged men and women chasing each other.

"Just wait, Kagura!" He let out, ignoring the pain in his chest, "Your idiot is coming!"

* * *

 _I apologize for the short chapter, this week is still kind of chaotic for me (mid-terms, work, social obligations blah blah) so I can't really piece my thoughts together properly. I don't want to publish a chapter that was made from my messy mind right now, you guys deserve better than that._

 _Hope you can wait for the next one, I will try my best to post as soon as I can._

 _*Since I have no one to fangirl with, omg I just got my order of the new Gintama merchandise! If you see my profile picture, that's the Hijikata and Sougo plush dolls I got. I'm so happy!_


	20. Chapter 19 Hijikagu

**The Okikagu version chapter is before this chapter , if you want to read, go back a chapter.**

Chapter 19 HIJIKAGU VER.

Sougo sighed deeply.

He took one last look at Kagura, before turning around and heading towards the festival exit.

On the way out, he met Kondo and the Yagyuu heir.

"Oh! Sougo, how'd you get in without a date?" Kondo asked, spotting his subordinate.

Sougo ignored him and kept walking.

"What's the matter with him?" Kyubei asked, forgetting for a second that she was in the midst of complaining about having Kondo as a 'date', just so she could get in after her dear Otae-san.

"Sougo, wai-!" Kondo cried, but choked when he noticed the look on Sougo's face.

The Vice-Chief shook off his boss' hand from his shoulder and walked away.

"Sougo..." Kondo muttered, sadly watching the young man's retreating back.

The Chief couldn't believe what he'd just seen.

Tears were glistening on the Sadist's face.

Sougo was crying.

* * *

The festival went off without a hitch.

Not even one incident occurred.

At least that's what certain idiots wanted people to believe.

Gintoki definitely did not want anyone to mention how he'd gotten a sugar rush and ruined a stall or two, before the fireworks even began.

Shinpachi, as well, did not want anybody remembering how he'd tackled a poor girl in the crowd for wrongly cosplaying Otsu-chan.

Nor did Kondo want people to know how he'd been forced onto the love tunnel ride, in an attempt to stalk Otae, with Kyubei, as well as the reason why he was in the hospital now, was because he'd accidentally touched the Yagyuu heir whilst in the dark tunnel.

Hasegawa, on the other hand, had a great time at the festival.

People had mistook him for one of the festival mascots, thanks to the paper bag on his head, and he had spent the whole night collecting money from couples that wanted to take pictures with him.

All in all, it was a nice festival.

Everyone had fun in the end.

Especially Kagura.

The girl had stuffed her face, won so many game prizes, bled Hijikata's wallet dry and what not.

When the festival had ended, the considerably poorer First-Squad captain walked her home, where two, embarrassed but still overprotective, idiots waited for her.

* * *

Now, Kagura laid in bed, still too happy to fall asleep.

She was recalling everything that happened during the night.

As she remembered Gintoki's frothing mouth, after eating his tenth candied apple, A memory suddenly surfaced in her mind and she promptly turned red all over.

The girl grabbed the top of her blanket and hid her face.

"Why did I do that?" She half squealed, half whispered, to herself.

After they'd arrived in front of the yorozuya, Kagura had surprised both herself and Hijikata, when she'd given him a peck on the cheek.

It got worse when, in his surprise, the First-Squad captain had moved his head slightly and, instead of his cheek, Kagura's lips had landed right onto Hijikata's own.

If only they had separated immediately after it happened, unfortunately, that wasn't how it went down.

Cue Gintoki and Shinpachi coming out of the house and spotting them and, sure enough, Kagura's date was ended right then and there.

"Aah! Why did I do that?!" She squealed.

"It's your damn teenage hormones!" An angry voice shouted from the other room.

"G-Gin-chan!?" Kagura squeaked.

"Yeah! And Gin-chan wants to sleep, so Sharrruup!" The grumpy perm-head yelled.

Kagura, for once, did not yell a come back and, instead, turned over on her side and tried to go to sleep.

Moments before she drifted off to dreamland, Hijikata's hasty "Good night, Kagura." before running away from an enraged Gin and Shinpachi, sounded in her head and, in her slumber, the girl smiled.

* * *

The next morning, wild knocking shook the whole Yorozuya building.

"We don't wanna buy the damn paper!" Gintoki roared on his way to the door.

"Yorozuya, open up! This is the Shinsengumi!" A familiar voice came.

"What the hell do you want this early, damn gorilla!?" Gin asked, roughly opening the door.

"Early? It's four in the afternoon, boss." Yamazaki greeted Gintoki from beside Kondo.

Gintoki stared at them, blinking a few times.

"I didn't do it." He said hastily.

"We didn't accuse you of anything, though." Yamazaki said.

Gintoki 'Tch!'-ed.

"Well, it isn't everyday that the Chief of the Shinsengumi makes housecalls, unless he's stalking a certain carbaret girl, so I just assumed it's big trouble or something that you're here." he told them, yawning shamelessly in front of their faces.

"Well," Kondo began, pausing for a yawn, "it is serious. Have you seen Sougo?"

Gintoki yawned again, "Yeah, he has a face that makes people want to punch him and his eyes are the color of dried cow blood."

"That's not what I meant!" Kondo said, yawning a second time, "Have you seen him around, today or last night? We can't find him."

Gintoki blinked a few times before letting out a huge yawn, "Nope, I've been sleeping all day."

"If you've been asleep the whole day, why are you yawni-" Yamazaki tried to comment, only to pause for a yawn as well, "Dammit, now you've got me doing it too!"

Kondo yawned a third time, "Well, thanks for your time, Yorozuya. If you see him, please tell us immediately."

Gintoki yawned again as he silently waved them away.

"Time to go back to sleep." He muttered to himself after closing the door.

He turned around and immediately bumped into someone.

"The sadist is missing, again?" A small voice asked.

Gintoki rubbed at his eyes.

The person in front of him became clearer.

"Oh, you're awake." He muttered.

"He disappeared again?" Kagura repeated, her voice barely audible.

Gintoki sighed.

"Yeah, it seems so."

And, before he could say anything else, the girl rushed passed him, still in her pink pajamas, and ran out the door.

* * *

 _Sorry for this short chapter, I am currently trying to get the feel for this new alternative ending. I'm trying to figure out Sougo's motivations, Kagura's reactions and what can eventually lead to Hijikagu, so please, any advice or criticisms are welcome!_

 _Til next time!_


	21. Chapter 20 okikagu

**A/N: *Surprise! I got hit with the urge to write when I'm having a mid-term this friday, lol. So, naturally, instead of studying, I wrote this up.**

 **I apologize again for the short chapters before, when it's been a while for me of not writing, i find it hard to write again, as well as all the stuff that's been going on. Hope this chapter makes up for it.**

 **Review responses:**

 **Shinnypichu88: i get what you meant, and it's my fault since I wrote so little, but the whole love smoke drama would have made more sense If I'd written more. I hope this makes up for it.**

 **Angel Soares: I love you and your review, that is all my feelings wrapped up into one!**

 **Biblivor: haha aw, sorry for making you worry your brothers. Aw thanks, glad you like both versions. Yeah, Hijikagu will have more drama because it involves breaking a sadist's heart, hope you can take it and not worry your brother's more! hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

* * *

Chapter 20 Okikagu Version.

"Let go!" Kagura screamed, trying to pull away from Hijikata's grip.

Unfortunately, He held on firmly.

"Where are you hurrying off to, Honey?" Hijikata asked, sneering like a creep.

Disgusted shivers ran up and down Kagura's body.

"Don't make me hurt you, Mayora!" She warned, her hand beginning to ball into a fist.

This just made Hijikata chuckle though.

"Our date's just beginning." He growled as he pulled her closer to him.

In a flash, Kagura punched him.

As Hijikata fell back, she jumped away and put some considerable distance between them.

"Snap out of it!" Kagura half pleaded, half shrieked, tension all over her face, "I don't want to fight you."

A groan came from the hunched over Hijikata, making Kagura step forward a bit.

"M-Mayora?" she inquired, looking worried.

Had she hit him too hard?

Maybe she should check on him.

Unfortunately she didn't even have time to make a decision.

Without warning, Hijikata launched himself at her.

In an instant, he had her pinned against a tree.

Kagura flinched with pain form the impact.

She looked up at her date and flinched again.

The heart eyes were completely gone from Hijikata's face, in place of them were lust-filled irises that had an almost feral glint in them.

Cold fear flooded Kagura's entire being.

For the first time in her life, she was afraid of Hijikata.

"Toshi, please..." She whimpered, "S-snap out of it."

Hijikata smirked, making Kagura quiver.

He slowly lowered his head to level with hers, his eyes never leaving hers the whole time.

In a low murmur, he said, "Say my name again."

And, without waiting for a reply, Hijikata began closing the gap between their lips.

* * *

"Where the hell did that bastard take her?" Sougo growled.

He had ran until he'd arrived at a more deserted part of the Festival grounds.

Only a few stalls littered the area.

Yet, he still couldn't find Hijikata and Kagura.

His lungs burned from the sprint as well as the breathing constraints he'd put them through, but he didn't let himself take one break.

He had to find them.

"Snap out of it!" a familiar voice sounded a short distance away.

"Kagura!" Sougo gasped, immediately changing direction towards her shout.

What the hell was Hijikata doing to her?

He was glad he'd brought his sword, even though Yamazaki had told him it was unfestival like.

Now he needed it to cut down a perverted Mayonnaise addict.

* * *

Sougo spotted them from a distance.

He swore under his breath.

The damn bastard had her against a tree.

He fastened his pace.

As he got closer to them, he almost tripped from the shock.

The former Vice-Chief was on the verge of kissing Kagura.

"Hijikata you bastard!" Sougo growled.

He unsheathed his sword and was just about to fly at Hijikata when Kagura beat him to it.

"Damn pervert!" the girl shrieked, before kicking Hijikata so hard in his stomach that he flew all the way across the clearing.

Sougo's sword hand fell limply against his side.

"Well, damn." He let out.

The girl heard him.

You'd think Kagura would greet him with a 'My hero!' or a 'You came for me!', but no, she glared daggers at him, instead.

Not only that but she looked like she was contemplating on hitting him as well.

"Yo." Sougo stupidly said.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kagura growled.

He cleared his throat.

"Well, there's an emergency, and I'm a policeman so I came. That's how this whole police-thing works, China." He said, totally not meaning to sound insufferable.

Yet, of course, Kagura took it that way.

"F*$k off." She replied.

Sougo 'tch!'-ed.

"Hey I came here to save your a*s, and that's how you talk to me?" He complained.

Kagura spat at the ground near his feet.

"I don't need any saving from you." She growled.

Gosh did Sougo want to exchange spit with her.

Wait what?

He cleared his throat again.

The Yorozuya boss' words came back to him.

It was all up to Sougo now.

"Look, in truth, I actually came here for you." Sougo said in a tone he hoped sounded earnest, "I snuck into this stupid festival, did all this," He gestured to his festival outfit, "For you."

Kagura raised an eyebrow at him.

"What the hell do you mean?" She asked.

Sougo took a deep breath.

There was no going back now.

"Kagura, I lo-." but he didn't get to finish.

"Hey bastard, stay away from my girl!" A low growl came, before a re-risen Hijikata came at Sougo with his sword.

Sougo blocked the blow just in time with his own.

"You cock blocking bastard!" He spat at Hijikata.

"Hey she was on a date with me, who's the cock blocker here?" Hijikata threw back.

They went at each other for a bit until Hijikata kicked at Sougo.

The Sadist landed...on someone?

Sougo spun his head around just in time to see the block of wood connecting with his face.

He crumpled to the ground.

"Sadist!" Kagura yelled, she tried to run to him, only to be tripped by something...or someone.

* * *

Sougo's head felt like exploding.

He was beginning to wake up but he was starting to not want to.

The more consciousness he regained, the more pain he felt.

"No!" A familiar voice shrieked.

His eyes snapped open.

Sougo took in the scene around him.

Anger instantly surged inside of him.

They were still in the clearing, but it wasn't deserted anymore.

Apparently, on the way to bring Kagura here, Hijikata had taken her through crowds of newly smoke-infected people.

Dozens of men with heart shaped eyes surrounded them now, and they all had one thing on their mind; Kagura.

Kagura was holding her own against them though.

She'd somehow gotten ahold of a wooden pole, probably from the broken stall Hijikata had crashed into before, and she was waving it at the crowds of men, keeping them at bay.

But Sougo knew it wouldn't last long, all it took was for one skilled person to get through her defenses.

And that person was leading the whole group.

"C'mon, Honey, don't be like that." Hijikata teased, easily dodging a poke from Kagura's weapon.

"Dammit Mayora, stop this!" Kagura hissed.

Hijikata chuckled.

Sougo instantly had the urge to punch his teeth in.

"Put down the weapon Kagura and come here." Hijikata cooed.

"Her name is Kagura?" One of the love zombies asked.

"Kagura-chwaaan!" Another love zombie squealed.

Soon, a chorus of 'Kagura-chan!' began.

Sougo instantly got up.

He didn't give a damn that his head was bleeding, nor the fact that his sword had been taken away.

There was no way he was gonna let anyone get to Kagura.

He grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on, a broken piece of wood with a nail sticking out.

Anger blazed in his eyes as he looked at the sharp point.

This will do, he thought.

"Get out of the way you bastards!" He growled before launching himself into the crowd of love zombies.

He slashed left and right, slowly making a path towards where Kagura stood.

Kagura, seeing her rival put up a fight, regained some of her motivation and began swinging her pole with more vigor.

"Stay the f$#k away from me!" She screamed, knocking down several rows of love zombies with one blow.

* * *

The two fought and fought until the gap between them grew smaller.

Without warning, Kagura's pole hit against Sougo's piece of wood.

Their eyes met and an understanding passed between the two of them.

They were gonna put their personal problems with each other on hold for now, and, instead, fight together.

Their backs connected with each other.

The two surveyed their opponents.

Even after taking down so many, there was still a considerable amount of love zombies left, and they were slowly closing in on the both of them.

"I bet I can knock out more than you." Sougo muttered, his eye flinching from pain of his head wound.

"Like hell you can!" Kagura growled, panting from the effort of defending herself for so long.

Hijikata smirked at them.

"Go." He ordered.

The love zombies attacked.

"Aaargh!" Kagura and Sougo chorused, taking them head on.

* * *

The love zombies came in waves.

Sougo and Kagura, at first, held their own against them.

At one point, Sougo thought they were about to win, only for the love zombies to come at them again.

He didn't know if it was his bleeding head messing with his vision or the zombies had somehow increased all of a sudden.

They weren't like the chumps from before either.

These ones seemed able to fight, they dodged plenty of his attacks and they seemed more focused on fighting rather than getting to Kagura.

Aside from Hijikata, three of the love zombies even had swords, wooden swords, but still swords.

They were also wearing festival masks on their faces, which added to the creep factor.

"Dammit." Sougo cursed, his breathing was becoming more ragged by the second.

"Oy, don't slow down." Kagura growled at him, though he could tell she too was tired.

Her arms were shaking from carrying the wooden pole for so long.

Not only that but one of the sword carrying zombies was targeting her in particular and this guy was good.

Kagura's weapon was almost in tatters from the guy's strikes.

He seemed to be focused on destroying it rather than getting to her.

"Watch out for that guy's blows." Sougo warned Kagura.

"Yeah, you watch out for them." Kagura replied.

She was talking about the two other sword carrying zombies.

They too seemed to be trying to disarm him rather than hurt him.

Just what were these guys?

* * *

"Giving up yet?" Hijikata called from the back of his army.

"F%$k you!" Sougo and Kagura chorused, before each hitting a love zombie at his direction.

They collided with the mayonnaise addict and successfully shut him up for a bit.

"Good hit." Sougo complimented his partner.

Kagura smirked, "You too."

Unfortunately, in their moment of distraction, the sword swinging zombies took their opportunity to strike.

Sougo barely had time to react when the two sword zombies from before, landed direct hits onto his piece of wood, turning it to splinters.

Kagura gasped as her wooden pole exploded in her hands, from the third sword zombie's blow.

She fell to her knees, the destruction of her weapon had cause several wood chips to penetrate her hands.

"Ow, dammit!" She let out, her eyes watering from the pain.

"You bastards!" Sougo growled, glaring at the perpetrators.

The sword zombies stood silently in front of them.

Sougo wished he could take their masks off, it was unnerving to not see their faces and not know what their intentions were.

He planted himself in front of the fallen Kagura.

"You guys aren't getting to her." He warned.

"And what are you gonna do about it?" Hijikata's voice came.

The left over love zombies made a path for him.

He placed himself next to the sword zombies, a smirk on his lips.

"Step aside Sougo. This is between Kagura and us. You don't wanna get in the way of love, don't you?" Hijikata asked.

Sougo blinked a few times before spitting at Hijikata's face.

"This sh*t ain't love. Damn perverts." He growled.

Hijikata calmly wiped his face.

"And what do you know about love, Sougo?" He began, "You're just a selfish brat that confuses love with desire."

Sougo 'tch!'-ed.

He lifted his arm to punch Hijikata, only to be stopped by Kagura.

"D-don't." She told him, her voice shaky from using her injured hand to grab his arm, "Just go."

Sougo's eyes widened, "What?"

"I said Go! Get out of here." Kagura told him.

"What the hell are you saying, China? I can't leave you here with them!" Sougo growled, getting angry at her stupid request.

"I'll be fine, go and get help, I'll hold out unt-" she tried to say.

"Stop saying bullsh*t!" Sougo roared.

Kagura stared at him.

She'd never seen him this angry before.

His eyes bored into hers.

"I'm not gonna leave you, so don't you dare suggest I do." he growled.

Kagura slowly nodded, unable to look away from him.

That is until Hijikata started clapping.

* * *

"Well, isn't that nice? We'll just have to get rid of Sougo before we get to you, Honey." The Mayonnaise addict said, giving Kagura a creepy look.

Both Kagura and Sougo glared at him.

"Stay behind me." Sougo told her.

He picked up the only thing left intact from his previous weapon, the nail.

"Ready to get your ass kicked again, by me, Hijikata?" Sougo sneered.

"Even if it's you Sougo, you don't stand a chance against us." Hijikata replied, waving his arms to indicate his left over men.

"We'll see." Sougo told him, his hand gripping the nail tightly.

Hijikata smirked.

"What are you even fighting for, Sougo?" He asked, "Us, we're fighting for love."

Sougo 'tch!'-ed.

"Ya know, I really hate it when you say that crap." He growled.

"And why's that?" Hijikata inquired, tilting his head in a way that annoyed Sougo more.

"Because this sh*t ain't love." Sougo replied.

"Oh yeah? Then what is love to you?" Hijikata asked, "Because our love is real, we love Kagura."

"We love Kagura!" The love zombies repeated.

"What is love to me, you ask?" Sougo muttered.

"We love Kagura!" The love zombies chanted again.

"Yeah, please enlighten us." Hijikata jeered.

In an instant, Sougo launched himself at the love zombies, his nail glinting with killing intent.

"Love, is wanting to kill the guy that she's dating!" He roared, incapacitating several zombies at once, he threw their unconscious bodies at the other oncoming ones.

"Love, is getting yourself almost killed in the mountains and getting used as a slave by a bunch of old geezers!" Sougo continued at the top of his lungs, he'd managed to knock a sword out of one of the sword zombie's hands.

He grabbed the wooden weapon and made his way towards the next sword zombie.

"Love, is spending your own savings as well as your boss's savings, to make couple merchandise and run wedding ads all over edo!" Sougo growled, clashing with the sword zombie.

In a swift movement, he disarmed him too and grabbed his sword as well.

"Love," Sougo began, his gaze finding the last sword zombie, "Is admiting you can't get the girl you love by yourself and asking for help from some very annoying people!"

The last sword zombie rushed at him.

Sougo managed to block his strike, only to find himself being kicked in the gut by the guy.

The sadist forced himself back onto his feet.

"Love," He grunted, "is feeling like sh*t after accidentally hurting the girl you love, and wanting to give up for the sake of her happiness.

He let out a grutal growl before flying at the third sword zombie once again.

Sougo shoved his sword forward, up until the hilt of the sword zombie's own.

With all the force he could muster, he lifted his blade in an upward motion, taking the sword zombie's sword with it.

The sadist glared at the now unarmed sword zombie.

"Love, is beating the sh*t out of the bastard that hurt her." He growled before mercilessly attacking the defenseless man in front of him.

As soon as the guy stopped moving, Sougo turned his attention to Hijikata.

With eyes full of anger, he pointed his sword at the last man standing.

"You want to know what love to me is?" He asked before rushing at the former Vice-chief, Their swords clashed.

"Love, is acting like an absolute idiot!" Sougo roared.

With a wave of his sword, he had Hijikata disarmed and on the ground.

Sougo held the point of his sword at the defeated man's throat.

"H-how can this be!?" Hijikata spluttered, "We we're doing it all for Kagura! We love Kagura!"

Sougo let out a 'tch!' before planting his foot on Hijikata's chest.

"No you don't." He told him, "I do."

"What was that?" a voice came, "I didn't get that last part."

An anger mark appeared on Sougo's face.

"I said they don't love Kagura, I do!" He growled at the speaker, turning around to face them.

"Wait what?" Gintoki asked again, his hand cupped over his ear, annoying Sougo further.

"I love Kagura!" Sougo roared.

Gintoki made an O face.

"Is that so?"

Sougo blinked a few times.

Wait a minute.

"Oy," he began, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

His sword shifted targets, from Hijikata's throat, to Gintoki's face.

With a bored look, Gintoki waved the blade away.

"Now now, that's not what's important right now, Sougo-kun" he said.

Then, with an annoying grin, he stepped to the side, revealing a wide-eyed Kagura staring at Sougo.

"Congratulations on finally confessing." Gin told him.

* * *

 _About damn time Sougo! Am I right? Damn author has been dragging it out too long...oh wait._

 _Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I only wrote up the Okikagu version so sorry for those waiting for the Hijikagu version._

 _*I have decided that Okikagu will most likely be released on Wednesdays or Tuesdays while Hijikagu will be either Mondays or Sundays. Just a few more chapters left in both versions, thanks for sticking with this story this long. Til next time, Criticisms are welcome! or questions etc._

 _*if you guys find Hijikata OOC in this chapter, I can explain!...next chapter that is, mwahaha!_


	22. Chapter 20 hijikagu

**A/N: Blue Lilybell: ikr yay finally sougo! omg heck no! I would never consider making any of the characters even think of suicide! But I hope there's enough drama in this chapter to quecnh your thirst, here you go, enjoy!**

 **Brieanna-C: haha, hope you like it, I see you reviewed from chapter 1. if you continued, hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **aesthetic umbrella: you are absolutely welcome! hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Guest: yay glad you had fun reading! if you're reading Hijikagu ver, then hope you enjoy this as well!**

 **Shinnypichu88: oh that is interesting, i might do a story on them on my other fic, thanks for the suggestion...but heck, it could just turn into a 'compete for Otae's feelings' competition lol**

 **Lucerenne: oh you also read from chapter 1, hope you liked the story and made it up to here, if not, thanks for the consideration!**

 **ChisatoHachirobei: aw sorry to keep you waiting for the ending then, and I'm not sure you'll see this since you ship Okikagu, but thanks for the review, it made me happy to know I write a gintama-vibe in my story. Also, glad you liked the confession part, that was hard to think up since they are such complicated idiots, and yeah, I want SadChi merch too, another bonus is that it gives us a reason to go inside Hijikata's room where all the merch are kept lol.**

 **Suzanne Coldfeather: yay thanks! I am glad I can pull off gintama-like dialogue.**

* * *

Chapter 20 HijiKagu Version

(Okikagu version is one chapter before this)

"Dammit!" Kagura cursed.

She leaned against a random building, trying to catch her breath.

The poor girl had ran all over Edo looking for the Sadist, to no avail.

"Where the hell is he?" She huffed, clutching her chest.

"Kagura?" A familiar voice called.

Kagura turned her head towards its direction.

Butterflies immediately spawned in her stomach.

"M-mayora!" The girl stammered.

She became more flustered when he approached.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to hide her blush.

Hijikata noticed her condition, his brow furrowed.

"Hey, are you okay?" He inquired and, to the girl's horror, shoved his face right up close to hers.

"Wh-wha-what are you d-doing!?" She cried, trying to pull away.

Hijikiata grabbed her arm and brought her closer.

"Relax, I'm just checking if you're sick." He told her, pressing his forehead against hers, much to the girl's discomfort.

He noted how warm she was.

"Damn, I should have brought you home earlier, the late night air exposure probably did this." Hijikata muttered, clueless.

"I-I'm not sick!" Kagura squeaked, putting some distance between them as soon has Hijikata let her hand go.

The naive First-Division Captain raised an eyebrow at her.

"Why are you all red then?" He asked.

"N-nevermind that now, I-Idiot!" Kagura replied, avoiding his eyes, "Don't we have a missing Sadist to find?"

Hijikata's eyes widened then went back to normal in a matter of seconds, with a slight 'of course she knows' look in them.

"How'd you find out? You have some sadist radar or something?" He asked.

Kagura gave him a disgusted expression, "Thank goodness I don't have such a thing!" She told him, appalled.

Hijikata shrugged, "Just wondering."

"If you must know, The Gorilla and Jimmy came to my place earlier and told Gin-chan about it. I just overheard." Kagura told him.

"Hmm, is that so?" Hijikata replied, his face stony.

"What?" Kagura asked, noticing it.

"Nothing, it's just," Hijikata paused, trying to not look at her, "I forgot for a second that you're head over heels for Sougo. Of course you'd be out here looking for that idiot."

He began walking away.

"Wait, Mayora! Where are you going? I thought you're searching for him too?" Kagura called.

Hijikata turned back to look at her, the strangest look on his face.

"I was. But now I just don't feel like it." He told her, his tone cold, "See ya."

All Kagura could do was stare, in utter confusion, as he left, with mutterings of getting a well-deserved Hijikata special.

* * *

Kagura found herself wandering out of the city.

She had been roaming around for a while, her head full of sadists and mayoras, and somehow ended up here.

"What the hell was up with him?" Kagura growled, recalling Hijiata's strange behavior.

She would have dwelled on it longer had the memories from the festival not resurface every time she thought of him.

Her face immediately turned red again.

She began hitting her cheeks, in an attempt to get the image of the accidental kiss out of her brain.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" She yelled to herself, totally sounding like her beloved Gin-chan, "I'm getting distracted. I was searching for the Sadist."

Kagura looked up, taking in her surroundings for the first time.

"Well I certainly won't find him here." She muttered.

She'd somehow stumbled upon an out-of-the-city graveyard.

"At least I hope I don't find him here." She added, staring at the headstones.

The graveyard was eerily quiet, yet, beautiful.

The place had been established on a beautiful hill, overlooking the city.

Kagura stood staring at the view.

"I never realized Edo was this big." She muttered.

I'll never be able to find the Sadist, She thought to herself.

A sudden wave of emotions hit her and Kagura found herself on the ground, knees hugged against her chest, face contorted in confusion and heartache.

"I don't know what to do!" She cried, tears sprouting from her eyes.

The girl proceeded to have a good long cry, under the setting sun.

* * *

After she'd cried herself out, Kagura still didn't feel like going back to the city.

She decided to wander around the graveyard, instead.

Remember, it's Gintoki that's scared of ghosts, not her.

Kagura just wanted some peace and quiet, the dead couldn't hurt her, only the living seemed to do that a lot.

She walked passed tombstone after tombstone, occasionally crouching down to read the encryption.

"Woah, you're old!" She commented on one.

"That's some stupid last words, no wonder you died." Kagura said to another.

The girl was beginning to feel better after a while of this.

Forget those idiots! She thought to herself.

She never needed them in her life before, she didn't need them now.

"Dammit Sougo!" Hijikata's voice growled.

"F*ck you, Hijikata!" Sougo's voice replied.

Kagura sighed.

"Ugh, can't my stupid brain give it a rest. It keeps remembering them so much that it's almost like I can hear their voices nearby." she grumbled.

Wait a minute.

Kagura immediately sprinted towards the voices' direction.

Her heart jumped to her throat when she arrived.

What the hell were they doing here!? She screamed in her mind.

There, among the tombstones, were Hijikata and Sougo.

They looked just about ready to kill each other.

The tension was so high in the air that Kagura decided to hide behind a tombstone and watch, instead of interrupting.

* * *

"What the hell was that for?" Hijikata growled at the Sadist.

Kagura noticed the drawl in his words and realized he was drunk.

Sougo gave the older man a death glare.

"How dare you come here!?" He roared, "And in that state? You really are a bastard!"

What did he mean? Kagura thought.

She squinted her eyes for a better look at the two's surroundings.

Her eyes fell on a tombstone with a bottle of sake in front of it.

She barely stopped the gasp from escaping her lips.

The tombstone read 'Okita Mitsuba'.

No wonder the Sadist was so pissed.

Hijikata had gotten drunk in front of his sister's grave.

"What? You're gonna get angry at me again and accuse me of stealing her from you?" The drunk challenged, stupidly unafraid of the enraged Sougo.

In a flash, Sougo struck.

"Ouch! Sh*t!" Hijikata let out, grasping his left hand.

The idiot, in his state, had blocked the blow with the first thing he could grab, the sake bottle.

The glass had exploded and embedded itself all over Hijikata's hand.

"You a*shole! You're lucky it wasn't my sword hand." he growled at the Sadist.

But the angry young man wasn't done yet.

"You Sh*t on everything I have ever cared about!" Sougo roared.

Without waiting for the drunken man to even draw his sword, he went in for another strike.

"Wait!" Hijikata yelled, trying to un-stuck his sword from it's scabbard.

He barely dodged Sougo's hit, losing a bit of flesh on his left shoulder.

Sougo instantly came in for another blow.

"I said wait!" Hijikata growled.

He pulled at his sword with all the strength he could muster.

The blade eventually came out, but the force also sent the scabbard flying, right into Sougo's face.

Thankfully, this stopped the Sadist's current attack.

* * *

Sougo let out a roar of rage and turned the scabbard into tattered pieces.

"You think this is a joke? Stop acting like an imbecile and fight me seriously!"

Hijikata glared at him, hiccuped, then gave him the middle finger.

Sougo roared again and came at Hijikata.

"What the hell is Mayora doing?" Kagura muttered, nervously watching the fight from behind the tombstone.

The idiot was just making the Sadist angrier, which made him more dangerous.

There was no way Hijikata could get away, unscathed, in his drunken state, Kagura thought.

She was on the brink of coming out of hiding and stopping the fight, when Hijikata did something that shocked both her and his opponent.

He stopped defending himself.

Sougo, in the midst of a head on charge at Hijikata with his sword, barely stopped himself before his sword could stab Hijikata.

Kagura watched, eyes wide, as Sougo's blade paused centimeters away from Hijikata's body.

Sougo's hands shook while he held the hilt.

His eyes darted back and forth from his sword, to Hijikata, then back again.

"W-what the hell are you doing?" Sougo managed to say.

"If you want to kill me that much, go ahead. If I wronged you that much, then I deserve it." Hijikata told him, his face now completely free of his previous drunken look.

Sougo stared at the older man, he didn't know what to do right now.

Hijikata let out an empty laugh.

"What? Can't do it?" He asked, "Of course not. After all, this isn't about her isn't it?" gesturing to Mitsuba's grave.

The anger in Sougo's eyes came back.

"You don't kno-" He began.

"I do know, Sougo." Hijikata said, interrupting him, "You were there last night, weren't you? At the festival."

* * *

This time, Kagura let out the gasp.

She had no idea the Sadist had been there.

Wait, had she enjoyed being with Hijikata so much, that she hadn't noticed nor thought about the Sadist at all that night?

She pursed her eyes shut and tried to remember.

She gasped again.

Her heart began to race.

It can't be, she had completely forgotten about Sougo, that night at the festival.

Kagura opened her eyes and found herself focusing on Hijikata.

"It can't be..." She repeated.

* * *

Sougo let out a 'Tch!'

"So what if I was there? That was the plan wasn't it?" He growled, "And you ruined it!"

Hijikata chuckled.

"Oh right, 'The Plan'. Sorry to tell you this but we changed it without telling you." He told the Sadist, "You were supposed to prove that you really cared for Kagura by still going along with the confession, even after seeing how happy she was with me. Yet," Hijikata paused, giving Sougo a sneer, "You ran away with your tail between your legs."

Sougo gave him a venomous look.

"I left because it was too disgusting to watch some old bastard with a young girl." he growled.

Hijiata's sneer widened.

"Nah, You left because you gave up."

In a flash, Sougo slashed at Hijikata with his sword.

"I didn't give up anything!" He yelled.

Hijikata caught his strike with his own blade.

"Oh yeah? Then why'd you disappear instead of get your girl, today? This 'old bastard' wasn't with her the whole day, you could have gone then." he teased, his arms shaking from holding his sword up against Sougo's increasing downward force.

"I had an old bastard to take care of today, I'll get her some other time." Sougo replied.

They separated before rushing at each other again.

Sparks flew from their swords' contact.

"Like you could ever get her!" Hijikata growled, matching every blow that Sougo threw at him.

To his surprise, Sougo smirked.

"In that case," The sadist began, "I now declare this fight as the deciding match on who gets China."

Hijikata cursed.

"You can't do that, you bastard!" he growled.

"I just did." Sougo replied, relishing the new anger in Hijikata's face.

"You little sh*t!" Hijikata growled before barraging Sougo with attacks.

To his frustration, the Sadist dodged them all.

"Careful now, Hijikata-san, you don't want to lose." Soguo teased.

"You're the one who should be worried of losing, you're the one that loves Kagura!" Hijikata replied.

This made Sougo sneer.

With a swift motion, he got Hijikata onto the ground.

The Sadist slowly put his face close to the panting Hijikata's.

In a low voice, he asked, "If that's the case, then what are _you_ fighting for, Hijikata-san?"

He then moved his mouth closer to Hijikata's ear, "Could it be, You love Kagura too?"

* * *

Hijikata threw Sougo off of him.

"What pure bullsh*t are you spouting now, Sougo?." He asked.

Sougo dusted himself off and gave his opponent another smirk.

"Did I hit a nerve?" He inquired, "Are you perhaps denying your feelings or something? Burying them deep down?"

"Wha-?" Hijikata tried to say.

Sougo charged at him.

"Stop f*cking around, Hijikata! You think by hiding your feelings, you'd quietly watch and let me have China? As if I needed you to step aside so I could get her?" he growled.

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed.

"What the hel-!" He tried to say, but Sougo came at him again.

In one move, Sougo disarmed Hijikata.

The Sadist then jumped the defenseless man and was soon on top of him, on the ground.

With a brutal growl, Sougo punched Hijikata's face.

"Why the hell do you keep doing this, you bastard?!" He roared.

"Get off!" Hijiata groaned, earning him another punch to the face.

With his slowly swelling eye, he caught a glimpse of Sougo's face.

His throat ran dry.

The boy was sporting a storm of pain, sadness and anger in his expression.

"Why do you keep doing these things when all I want to do is hate you?! " Sougo cried.

"What do you mean?" Hijikata managed to say despite his bleeding lip.

Sougo let out another growl before punching him again.

"'What' you ask?" He began, anger burning in his eyes, "You going around, trying to protect people by sacrificing your own sh*t!" Sougo yelled, He threw another punch, "It really pisses me off!"

"What are you talking a-" But Hijikata didn't get to finish.

"Shut up!" Sougo hissed, "First you go and break my sister's heart so that she wouldn't be in danger, yet you loved her too didn't you? You wanted to be with her too, didn't you? That's some f*cked up thinking you got there!"

He threw another punch.

"Then, you go and almost get yourself killed by taking on that bastard Husband of hers, all by yourself! Why? Because you didn't want me to get in trouble? Well f*ck you! I don't want you looking out for me!" Sougo screamed.

By this time, tears were streaming down his face.

He threw another punch.

Both his knuckles and Hijkata's face were bloody.

"And now," he began, gulping back the tears and anger so he could talk, "You do this?"

"What am I doing now?" Hijikata groaned.

Sougo threw the hardest punch yet.

"You're sacrificing yourself again for me, you stupid f*cking bastard!" He cried, "You're actually in love with Kagura too, but you're throwing it all away for me!

* * *

With a roar full of rage, Sougo grabbed the front of Hijikata's shirt and began screaming right into his face.

"You have feelings for Kagura too, don't you? Stop hiding them for my sake!" He yelled, "I don't want any of it! If you like her, go after her too! You stupid bastard! You had the gall to act like you're still hung up on my sister, coming to her grave and getting piss-ass drunk, when really, you're just trying to bury the fact you're pining after Kagura. You really think you can protect people by denying your own desires? We don't want your protecting, dammit! Be selfish and take what you want!"

Sougo paused for a breath, his throat burned from all the shouting he'd done.

Hijikata stayed quiet.

His swollen face hung limply, downward.

His body still as a rock.

Shit, had Sougo gone overboard with the beating?

Thankfully, Hijikata finally spoke.

"You want me to be selfish?" he asked in a low voice.

The sadist let out a sigh of relief at the man's apparent sign of life.

"Do whatever you want," Sougo replied, "Just stop thinking about others for once, you b*tch." he added, back to his old dead pan ways.

"You want me to be selfish?" Hijikata repeated.

Sougo let out a 'Tch!'

"Yeah, geez, Hijikata-san, did I beat your hearing ability out of you?" The Sadist replied.

"Sougo," Hijikata began, struggling to his feet, he finally looked up at Sougo, a sad but determined expression on his face "I'm sorry." he said.

In a flash, He had Sougo on the ground, his sword at the Sadist's throat.

"I win." Hijikata declared, "I get Kagura."

Sougo blinked at the blade pointing at him, then at the man holding it.

He let out a sad laugh.

"About damn time, bastard."

* * *

Hijikata held out a hand, offering to help the young man to his feet.

Sougo gave the hand a look before hacking all his phlegm and snot, from his previous crying, and spat it into the waiting palm.

"You bastard!" Hijikata growled, immediately retracting his snotted limb away from the Sadist.

Sougo stood up, easily, on his own.

"Just let me have that one, Hijikata-san, After all, you get the girl." he told the man whom was struggling to wipe the muck off of his hand.

Hijikata paused his attempts.

"You're really gonna give her up after all that? Over some stupid match consequence you made up yourself?" He asked.

Sougo gave him a sad smile.

"I-I actually already gave her up last night." he admitted.

Hijikata's eyes widened.

"You did?" He asked, dumbfounded.

Sougo sighed, "Yeah. When I saw you two, I realized...I didn't want your sloppy seconds."

"You bastard!" Hijikata growled, slapping his mucky hand against Sougo's face.

Sougo let out a muffled 'B*tch!' through Hijikata's palm.

They squabbled for a bit until Hijikata found himself being sat on by Sougo.

"In all honesty, Hijikata-san. I just realized that even if I loved China, It didn't mean I _had_ to have her." The Sadist began, Hijikata immediately stopped struggling and listened.

"You see," Sougo continued, "Thanks to some bastard mayonnaise addict, I realized that loving someone also meant letting them go so that they could be happy."

"That mayonnaise addict sounds like some loser that always gets the short end of the stick." Hijikata commented.

Sougo chuckled.

"Hey, Hijikata-san," He began.

"Yeah?" Hijikata replied.

"This love thing sucks." Sougo said.

"Yeah it does."

Then, without another word, Sougo got off of Hijikata, handed the man an envelope, and made his way towards a path, in the graveyard, that lead to the mountains.

Hijikata, in the light of the setting sun, opened the letter Sougo had given him.

He let out a small laugh.

"That little sh*t."

The letter read, "I, Okita Sougo, Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi, declare a new decree, where organization positions can now be handed down to any officer seen fit by the previous position holder. Also, I Okita Sougo, step down from my Vice-Chief position and, under the new decree, hand over my position to Yamazaki Sugaru. Kondo-san, I'm taking a few weeks off, See you then. F*ck you, Hijikata."

Hijikata sighed, taking out a cigarette.

"I'll just scare Yamazaki into giving me back my position." He muttered to himself.

He let out a puff of smoke, before walking over to a particular tombstone.

"Now to more important matters." Hijikata mumbled through his cigarette.

The mayonnaise addict stared, worriedly, at the feet marks on the ground behind the tombstone.

Signs of a sudden flight, were all over the dirt.

Damn, Hijikata thought.

Kagura had ran the moment she found out his feeling for her.

"F*ck me, indeed," Hijikata groaned, "Thanks a lot, Sougo."

* * *

 _So how is it? Sorry If I totally broke the OkiKagu, I just hope it did Hijikagu justice._

 _So Okikagu version will probably come out on Wednesday or Thursday, or even tomorrow lol._

 _***I predict two more chapters for each version and then its done. I am thinking of making a sequel, only to the Okikagu version though, something like 'Dating an Idiot is hard' while I make a whole other Hijikagu story altogether. What you guys think?_

 _Criticisms are welcome, questions as well, random trolling, etc, go ahead! Til next time!_


	23. Chapter 21 okikagu

**A/N: *So I am actually pretty unsure on who follows Hijikagu and who follows Okikagu. So I will just respond to reviews as I update chapters, even if they are replying to Okikagu reviews while being written in a Hijikagu chapter, lol.**

 ***If you do not see your review reply here, then I probably replied to it in the previous chapter, which is Hijikagu.**

 **Responses:**

 **Guest: yay glad you liked it, you're welcome, I'm quite enjoying writing the alternate chapters. Hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 **Angel Soares: aw I'm so glad you lovd it and called it beautiful, I was nervous while writing my first long Hijikagu chapter, glad it came off well. Oh haha that was you? thanks for the review and the private message! You've made me more confident in writing the Hijikagu versions, hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 **Yumisaki Tousougo: First of all, cool name! glad you found the chapter cute, wait so the okkagu chapter before was a bit ooc? oh was it Hijikata? lol. also, hahaha I blushed while writing the small HijiOki scene, they have so much sexual tension when they fight lol. Thaks! hope you enjoy this chapter too!**

 **Blue Lilybell: Yeah. it was hard to keep Sougo as Sougo, I guess I made him come off more mature, but hey it was bound to happen lol, or else that guy is messed up. yeah, never gonna have suicide in my stories unless it's Hijikata and his 'seppuku!' threats lol. Yay, glad that you liked the Hijikata resolution with Mitsuba and Kagura, also, nooo I think it's too soon for a wedding lol. Kagura hasn't even admitted she likes Hijikata back...or did she? mwahaha, thanks for the review and hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **Anonymous: aw really? thanks! I feel like I butcher grammar and tenses sometimes, but glad you still think my writing is good! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well and yeah I'm seriously considering a sequel.**

* * *

Chapter 21 Okikagu Version

" _Congratulations on finally confessing." Gin told him._

Sougo stared back at Kagura, unable to say a word.

His thoughts though were anything but quiet.

An ever hysterical chant of 'What the hell did I just do?" kept sounding off in the Sadist's mind.

Gintoki raised an eyebrow at his apparent silence.

"Um, Okita-kun? Anyone in there?" He asked, waving a hand in the dumbstruck boy's face.

He got no reply.

"Oy, Gorilla," Gintoki called behind him, "I think the Sadist is broken, you guys probably hit him too hard."

Behind Sougo, the two masked love-zombies rose.

One threw off their mask.

"What the hell are you talking about, Yorozuya?" A Gorilla shrieked, "If anything, he hit us too hard!"

"That's right, Gin-san. We let him beat us like you told us to, but he literally _beat_ us!" The other masked zombie chimed in, he too took off his mask, revealing a black and blue Shinpachi.

An anger mark appeared on Gin's face.

"Shut up! You guys didn't have to deal with a pole-bearing yato _and_ a sadist at the same time!" He screamed back at the two, "He beat me when I was unarmed! Oy Gorilla, just what kind of monster have you raised?!"

Kondo scratched at the back of his head, "Uh well, you can blame that side of Sougo on Toshi, he's the one that awakened the Sadist in him."

Hijikata immediately got up from the ground and pointed an accusing finger at his boss, "Like hell I did! Who's the one who spoiled him rotten and let him get away with everything?!"

All three of the ex sword-wielding love-zombies turned to him, "Shut up! You did'n't do sh*t during the fight, you perverted loli-con!"

"You guys told me to act like that!" Hijikata growled, "It was embarrassing as hell and now I'm seriously contemplating Seppuku! What are you guys gonna do about that!?"

His three accusers blinked at him, then gave him the middle finger.

* * *

"Ah please don't fight!" One of the love-zombies shouted.

The speaker got up.

Under all the blood and bruises, it was revealed to be Yamazaki.

"We're all already hurt enough, you guys don't need to add more wounds to each other." He reasoned.

The rest of the 'love-zombies' got up and made grunts and gestures of agreement.

On closer inspection, they were all actually pretty familiar faces.

The more beat up ones were definitely the homeless bums Hasegawa hanged out with at the park.

The better off ones were mostly Shinsengumi officers.

Kondo sighed after seeing his injured men, "He's right," He turned to them, "Good job everyone. Thank you for your cooperation. As promised, you guys get a day off tomorrow for the second day of the festival."

"What about us?!" The bums asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, you guys will get three hundred yen each for playing along, geez." Gintoki growled.

"Three hundred yen? You promised us more!" The bums complained.

"Shurrup!" Gintoki screamed, "You think I have that kind of money on me!? I'm giving up some of my sweets budget for you bastards, did you think about that? No! You only think about yourselves!" He shrieked, dramatically.

He immediately got pelted with cans and garbage, curtsy of the homeless men.

"Gyaah! You bastards!" The poor man cried, trying to hide his face from the rain of trash, "Shinpachi, help me!"

Shinpachi stared at his boss with a darkened look, "You deserve it." he muttered.

Gintoki let out another shriek before going at the bums with his bokuto.

Shinpachi sighed, so much for not hurting each other.

Wait a minute, he thought, weren't they forgetting something?

* * *

"So," A dangerous voice came fom behind the idiots, "All this was your guys' doing?" another voice, but still as scary sounding, continued.

Gintoki paused in the midst of putting two homeless bums in a headlock.

Hijikata and Kondo stopped arguing about who f*cked up Sougo more.

Shinpachi took a break from Shinpaching.

They slowly turned towards the voices' direction.

"K-Kagura-chan?" Gintoki and Shinpachi let out in a high-pitched voice.

"S-sougo?" Kondo and Hijikata stammered.

There, radiating blue and red auras, with looks that could make someone poop their pants (which Kondo probably did) was Sougo and Kagura.

The Sadist held his sword out dangerously, while the Yato cracked her knuckles with an intent to kick some idiot-a*s.

"S-sorry!" All four idiots squealed.

The two killing machines pounced.

* * *

Back in the more crowded area of the Festival, the commotion caused by the smoke was finally dying down.

The rest of the Shinsengumi members were there, trying to calm the rest of the festival goers.

"Sorry everyone, that was just a slight firework malfunction! Please go back to enjoying the festival!" The men announced all over the place.

"I can't believe those idiots made such a plan." Tsukuyo muttered.

She had almost panicked when the pink smoke came, thinking it was the Aizen Kou all over again.

Thankfully, nobody turned into love-zombies, as far as she knew that is.

On closer inspection, the smoke looked strangely similar to the stuff she and ninjas used in smoke bombs.

Except that it was pink.

"Impressed?" A voice came from behind her.

Tsukuyo turned and found herself face to face with Sacchan.

"Sarutobi!" She exclaimed, "You did this?"

The ninja pushed up her glasses proudly, "Uhuh, Gin-san asked me to make these."

"Oh," Tsukuyo replied, her eyes widened, "is that why you pretended to get tied up back at his place, so you could stay back and deliver these smoke bombs secretly?

Sacchan's glasses immediately became askew, "Eh, uh, yeah, sure, that's why I did that."

Tsukuyo gave her a small smile, "I'm impressed."

"Hehe, you should be." Sarutobi nervously replied.

"Ah there you guys are!" Someone called.

Otae and Kyubei appeared beside them.

"When did you get here? I thought you were tied up?" Kyubei asked Sacchan.

"N-nevermind that!" The ninja shrieked.

Otae sighed, "well it seems all our dates ditched us, huh?"

"I wonder what happened to them?" Tsukuyo asked.

It was then that a chorus of agonized screams filled the air.

"What was that?" All four women asked.

* * *

Back at the crime scene, er I mean the clearing where the previous battle had happened.

All of the ex-love-zombies, particularly Gintoki, Shinpachi, Kondo and Hijikata, were basically getting killed.

"We're sorry! We're so sorry!" Shinpachi wailed, his eyes were two blackened puffs, "We were just trying to help!"

"Kagura-chan! Bad! Stop that!" Gintoki shrieked, trying to fight off his foster-brat's attacks, "Please! I'll give you three hundred yen!"

"S-sougo!" Kondo croaked out before becoming scarily quiet in Sougo's hands.

"Ooooy!Sougo! I think you just killed him! Oooy!" Hijikata screamed, freaking out about his boss' sudden silence.

"Shut up, you're next, Hijikata-bastard!" Sougo growled, his eyes glowing with pure evil.

Hijikata gulped.

* * *

The rest of the homeless men and the shinsengumi members were, unfortunately, being used as weapons to hurt the four particular idiots the two angry brats were targeting.

Kagura threw another homeless bum on top of the crying Shinpachi, making it the tenth person squishing him to death.

"Gyaah! Kagura-chan! Please!" He shrieked.

"Please another one?" Kagura growled, "Okay!"

Cue the eleventh person involved in Shinpachi's homicide.

Gin, Kagura's other victim, was not faring well either.

While Kagura only used indirect means to hurt Shinpachi, she was coming for Gintoki, personally.

"You damn perm-head! It's your fault my hands are messed up!" She screamed, attacking Gin with his own bokuto, which she had wrestled off of him earlier.

"You're not supposed to use it like that!" Gintoki screamed, agony all over his face.

Kagura, being Kagura, was shoving the wooden sword, into places where things shouldn't be shoved into in general.

"Die!" The girl cried.

Nearby, Sougo was just about done taking care of Hijikata.

He had been inspired by Kagura, in her weaponization of the other love-zombies, but, instead of piling them on top of his victim, Sougo went on a more painful route.

Painful for both Hijikata and the love-zombies that is.

"This is for acting like a loli-con!" Sougo growled, swinging a homeless bum, like a bat, at Hijikata.

The Sadist quickly threw away his weapon, after it made contact with the now swaying mayonnaise addict, and acquired a new one; Yamazaki.

"Aaaah! Vice-Chief noo-ACK!" The spy let out before his face hit Hijikata's face.

"Next!" Sougo announced, grabbing for another Shinsengumi member.

Hijikata fell after the twentieth or so human-bat hit.

* * *

The two evil brats looked over the chaos they'd caused.

Bodies were strewn everywhere.

"Oy," Kagura began, addressing Sougo, "Let me have a go at them."

She pointed Gintoki's dirtied bokuto towards Hijikata and Kondo.

"All yours, I'll take over, over here." Sougo replied, eyeing Gintoki and Shinpachi.

So, once again, the festival found itself being graced with a symphony of pain and agony, from a bunch of idiots that thought it was a good idea to pretend-attack two monsters.

* * *

By the time the two were satisfied with their attackers' punishment, more like murder, the night was becoming pretty late.

Bodies, still as a rock, were littered all around them.

Occasional groaning came from some of them but overall, it was quiet.

Only the two monsters were left standing.

Sougo, after the adrenaline rush from the carnage disappeared, was back to feeling the effects of his head wound from before.

He made the mistake of dropping his sword, to rub at his temples.

Kagura instantly attacked him.

"What the hell!" Sougo let out, barely dodging the blow, which was scarily aimed at somewhere that he was glad hadn't gotten stabbed by a bokuto

"What was that for?" He yelled, quickly picking up his sword and facing the girl.

Sougo found himself stepping back a bit.

Kagura was giving him the most intense look he'd ever had aimed at him.

"You love me?!" She screamed, before coming at him again.

He blocked her with his sword.

She jumped back.

"You did all that crazy sh*t, because you love me!?" Kagura screamed again.

"Yeah, I-" Sougo tried to say but the yato attacked once more.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" She roared, going at Sougo nonstop with the bokuto.

"I ask myself that too, sometimes." Sougo muttered, sweating from the effort of defending himself from her bombardment.

"Aarrgh!" Kagura let out before increasing her attacks.

Blow after blow came at Sougo.

The girl was obviously enraged.

"You are one sick bastard, you know that!?" She screamed, her voice cracking from the sheer volume she was it letting out.

"I can't believe I love a guy like you!" She added hoarsely.

"Yeah, but you love me." Sougo replied.

"What!?" Kagura yelled, angry that he had the gall to reply to her.

With a scream of rage, the Yato threw a huge swing at the Sadist.

Perhaps it was because she cared for him, even in her anger, that she expected and hoped that he'd block it.

Yet, in that one moment before her attack made impact, she realized he wasn't lifting a finger to defend himself.

Kagura instantly stopped herself.

The wooden sword paused a hair's width from Sougo.

"What are you doing?" Kagura growled.

The Sadist, to the girl's annoyance, let out a sad chuckle.

"Honestly, I have no idea." He told her, with a slight smirk.

"All I know is," Sougo continued, "You love me, and I love you."

He then threw his sword away and spread his arms.

The Sadist looked Kagura right in the eye, "I love you, Kagura." He repeated.

* * *

Kagura's hands trembled ever so slightly.

The anger began fading from her eyes.

Sougo sighed, "I did all those stupid things because I love you and I wanted to take you away from Hijikata." He admitted, "I even asked that boss of yours to help me, though it did not turn out the way I planned, I let go of my pride to ask for help, because it was for you."

He paused, looking at the girl for any reaction.

Kagura, though, stayed silent.

Sougo sighed again, albeit a little more sadly.

"Look, I get why you're angry with me, and maybe you're having a hard time believing my feelings after all the things I've done. You can beat me all you want, I deserve all of it. Go ahead." He told her, "I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. I love you, and I don't know about you, but I wanna be with you, Kagura." Sougo finished.

That was it.

He'd done it.

He'd finally said all he wanted to say.

Yet.

Yet.

Why the hell wasn't she saying anything, this damn brat!? Sougo thought.

Oyyy, I just poured my heart out to you, dammit! Reply! The poor guy screamed in his head.

He began to sweat all over.

Maybe he should have been politer? Or more romantic?

Before Sougo could spew out some bullsh*t he'd heard from a sit-com once, Kagura finally reacted.

Did she hit him?

Scream at him?

No, thankfully, Sougo thought, she did none of that.

Kagura kissed Sougo.

She had thrown the bokuto aside, grabbed his face, and planted one right on him.

As if on cue, the festival fireworks went off and lit up the sky.

It felt like heaven.

Sougo couldn't remember being this happy.

It beat the time he'd gotten his coveted Vice-Chief position.

It definitely beat the time he'd surprise-kissed her, before.

* * *

His bliss would have lasted for days on end if it weren't for what happened after they separated,

"China, you-" He tried to say when they pulled apart.

But Kagura interrupted him.

"Ba..." Kagura began, her face aimed at the ground.

"Ba?" Sougo asked.

"Ba-Ba..." Kagura repeated.

"Ba?" Hijikata, Shinpachi, Gintoki, and Kondo asked from their graves, er I mean from the ground nearby.

Kagura finally looked up at Sougo. Her face a mix of redness and confusion.

"BAKA!" She shrieked, before giving him a round-house kick right to the face.

Sougo collapsed, the smile he had, from the kiss, still on his lips as he fainted.

By the time the Sadist woke up, Kagura was nowhere in sight.

"Dammit!" Sougo let out.

* * *

 _See you guys next time!_

 _Kidding! I'm not THAT evil._

* * *

Sougo ran passed the bodies, through the still ongoing festival, out of the exit and onto the streets of Edo.

He had to find her.

Somehow, he felt that if he let the idiot simmer with her thoughts for even one night, she'd think of something stupid again and more problems would sprout between the two of them.

There was no way Sougo would let the night end without making SadChi real.

"Where the hell did she go!?" He grumbled, leaving the empty Yorozuya house.

Sougo had looked for her at all the places she frequented.

He had gotten pots and pans thrown at him by Otose and Cathrine when he broke into the bar.

Not only that but he had to endure being manhandled by trannies, squealed at by cabaret girls, recruited by hosts, screamed at by sukonbu sellers and almost bit by a yawning Sadaharu.

Where else could she have gone? Sougo asked himself.

Then it hit him.

He fastened his pace.

She had to be there.

After all, that's where she always ran to when she thought of her problems.

* * *

Sougo arrived at the bridge, breathless and aching all over from his injuries.

Thankfully, it wasn't all in vain.

There, at the center of the bridge, leaning over the rail, was Kagura.

He expected her to attack him again.

Yet, she just turned to him quietly.

"I don't know why," She began, "But I was sort of expecting you to find me here."

Sougo 'Tch!'-ed.

"Well this is the place you always come to when you're being an idiot." Sougo replied, "The shapes of your arms are probably already embedded into those rails."

"Are you saying I've been an idiot that much?" Kagura asked, testily.

Sougo smirked.

"I can't say anything, I've been an idiot a lot, recently, as well."

Kagura didn't reply.

Sougo gulped.

"Look, Kagura, I-" He began.

"You don't have to say anything." Kagura interrupted.

Then, to Sougo's surprise, she kissed him again.

His arms instinctively wrapped themselves around her.

Her own slender ones snaked around his neck.

* * *

As much as Sougo wanted to continue the kissing, his confusion got the better of him, he pulled away.

"Oy, what the hell is going on?" He asked.

Kagura snorted.

"Your face looks so stupid right now." She laughed.

An anger mark appeared on Sougo's face.

Yeah, sure, he had the girl he loved in his arms, they had just finished kissing too, but somehow, all his instincts right now told him to throw her over the bridge.

"You ran away from me after kissing and kicking me, and now you kiss me again after I've found you?" He growled, "How hard were you hit during the fight?"

This, of course, earned him a pull on the hair, from the Yato

"Idiot, like I was gonna make out with you in front of all those freaks!" she yelled at him.

"So instead, you hit me, to 'throw them off' and run away, hoping I could find you?" Sougo growled back, "You brat, you know what I had to go through searching for you? My b*lls got groped by a tranny!"

"Good because I won't grope them!" Kagura argued for argument's sake.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything!?" Sougo growled, "Also, why won't you grope them!?"

"I ain't touching what the gorilla has touched!" Kagura replied, by this time, even though their arms were wrapped around each other, it was starting to turn into a 'who can squeeze the other harder?' competition.

They also had their foreheads shoved together, annoyance in both of their faces.

"Why the hell would Kondo-san have touched my b*lls!?" Sougo growled.

"How else can he change your diapers?!" Kagura replied.

Sougo 'Tch!'-ed while Kagura put on her street thug scowl.

"Damn brat!"

"Stupid Sadist!"

They were making out in an instant.

* * *

After a while of tongue wrestling, the two came up for breath.

Kagura rested her head on Sougo's chest.

"Sorry about earlier," She breathed, "I panicked when I realized I kissed you, then I panicked some more when I realized I did it in front of Gin-chan and the others. Also, I really just wanted to hit you once more for all that sh*t you pulled."

Sougo sighed, placing his chin on top of her head.

"Yeah, I deserved it. I can't believe I'm saying this, since I'm so great, but I really was an idiot."

Kagura let out a laugh.

"Hah! You should say it more often, idiot."

Sougo 'Tch!'-ed

"Hey you weren't being smart yourself. Dating Hijikata? Seriously?"

Kagura immediately looked up at him.

"Hey, Mayora was perfectly nice to me. He pretty much helped us get to where we are now!" she told him.

Sougo scowled, "Yeah he did." He grudgingly admitted, "I hate him."

Silence fell between them again.

The Sadist cleared his throat.

"Speaking of which, where are we now exactly?" he asked.

"On a bridge in Edo, use your eyes, Sadist." Kagura replied.

The anger mark erupted again on Sougo's face, "I meant in our relationship!" he growled.

"Oh," Kagura let out, blushing, "I thought it's obvious, already."

Sougo blinked.

"It is?" He asked.

Kagura groaned before planting another kiss on the clueless boy.

As they separated, Sougo let out an "Oh."

Kagura almost face-palmed, "Loving an idiot is hard." she muttered.

They kissed again.

* * *

 _The next day._

Yamazaki sighed for the umpteenth time that day.

He had so much work to do.

Why?

Because more than half of the men were injured by the new power couple, last night.

The infirmary was filled to the brim with the monsters' victims.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Yamazaki was one of the few that could still work without crutches, splints or medical attention.

The lack of man power had to happen at such a hectic time too.

Their dear Vice-Chief had announced that morning that he was stepping down from his position and handing it back to Hijikata.

Meaning, Yamazaki and those that could walk, had to uncover all the paperwork Sougo had been neglecting and bring them to Hijikata's office.

The sadist had somehow hidden stacks and stacks of reports and what not, in empty rooms all over the compound.

"Just what the hell was he doing the whole time he was Vice-Chief?" Yamazaki groaned.

It did explain though, why they couldn't find room to store all of the crazy stuff, mainly SadChi merch, Sougo had made and threw in Hijikata's room.

* * *

Yamazaki sighed again.

He was carrying the eighth stack of papers to Hijikata's office and his arms were beginning to ache.

"I want a break." The poor guy muttered.

"Hey Zaki, what did I say about talking to yourself? You really want to end up crazy?" A drawl came.

Sougo appeared beside him.

"Vi-uh I mean Captain!" Yamazaki greeted the newly demoted Sadist.

Sougo eyed the papers in his arms.

"Where are you off to?" He asked.

"I'm bringing these paperwork to the Vice-Chief's office." Yamazaki replied.

The paperwork you didn't do for weeks, The spy thought to himself.

Sougo immediately perked up.

"Is that so? I'll go with you then, I wanna see how pissed off he is."

Yamazaki didn't know whether to feel relieved or not that the Sadist was going with him.

On one hand, Hijikata might aim his anger at him instead of Yamazaki for once, on the other hand, the Vice-Chief could just attack the both of them, given how angry he was when Yamazaki had brought him the seventh stack of papers, before.

* * *

They arrived outside of Hijikata's office in time to hear a commotion happening inside.

Alarm bells went off in Yamazaki's mind.

It felt as if he was reliving a nightmare all over again.

The sense of dejavu overwhelmed him some more, when the voice that came from inside the office was Kagura's.

"Toshi-san," Kagura's voice came, "Please-"

But she didn't get to finish.

Sougo had slammed the door open.

"Oy," He began, a dangerous aura radiating off of him, "What the hell is going on here?"

* * *

 _Oh noooo! will this roller coaster ride happen all over again? what's Kagura doing in Hijikata's office? find out next week!...or maybe later because I have a final report and finals soon lol._

 _*Hijikagu will probably come monday or sunday, or later because I have a report to do. The next Okikagu chapter might also come late, depending on how much I procrastinate. Sorry for the wait, hang in there guys!_

 _*So how'd you guys find it? SadChi/ OkiKagu finally seemed to have happened, I'd love your guys thoughts on the resolution, was it too fast? OOC? Okay? Criticisms are welcome! I actually had this resolution planned out for a while and I'm happy with how I executed it, but other opinions are welcome, Just, guys, keep in mind, yeah some parts they seem a bit OOC from the way we know them from the anime and manga, but remember that throughout this story, they have gone through many trials and what not, which could basically explain why they'd act like this now. Til next time!_


	24. Chapter 21 hijikagu

**A/N: *Woah, sorry for the disappearance act. But, yaaay! I'm done with my exams and reports! and to top it off, I have a few days break before school starts again, so here I am with another update!**

 **Review responses:**

 **Angel Soares: glad you thought the previous chapter was wonderful, I hope I gave you enough Okikagu, hope you enjoy this one as well!**

 **Freedom Friday: aw, so you don't follow Hijikagu? hope you at least see this response at least, thanks for enjoying the previous chapter!**

 **Blue Lilybell: aw sorry that you found Okita and Kagura ooc last chapter. I figured, since Sougo was being open and honest about his feelings, Kagura decided to act the same and be serious and so she expressed herself honestly by kissing him. After all, even in the real Gintama, the characters stop fooling around during the serious and deep moments. But don't worry, their insults won't stop, even though I think They've matured a bit, I'll bring it back next time. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **LadiiV: you sound excited for what happens with Hijikata lol. If you're following Hijikagu, hope you enjoy this chapter as well, if not, don't worry I plan to update Okikagu by the end of this week.**

 **Addicted-to-Okikagu-and-BTS: haha aw thanks, glad you liked the previous chapter, and it's cool you could see the scenarios in your mind, makes me feel good as a writer, if you're reading Hijikagu, hope you enjoy this one! if not, stay tuned, Okikagu will come by the end of this week!**

 ***Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 21 Hijikagu version.

(Okikagu version in the previous chapter)

It was already the middle of the day but Hijikata couldn't stop yawning.

He'd tossed and turned all night.

Somehow, his stupid mind was unable to stop thinking about Kagura.

The girl had ran off when she had heard about his feelings for her.

Whether or not she reciprocated them should be obvious from that reaction.

Yet, She hadn't kicked his groin when he'd accidentally kissed her before, right? That should mean something, Hijikata thought to himself.

Still, if she had feelings for him as well, she wouldn't have ran away like that.

Hijikata let out a long sigh.

It was his first day back as Vice-Chief, but he wasn't happy.

An image of Kagura entered his mind.

He tried to remember the look she had given him after the accidental kiss, but it immediately contorted into an expression of disgust directed at him.

Yup, not happy at all.

He promptly took out a cigarette and lit it.

This was gonna be a long day.

* * *

Kagura found herself at Yoshiwara.

A feeling of dejavu overwhelmed her.

She had gone here before with love problems, now she was back again with dilemmas concerning love, once again.

The only difference was that the guy was different.

It was someone she had never expected to think about in such a way.

"Ah, Kagura, what are you doing here? I didn't see you after the festival." Tsukuyo greeted her, stepping out of Hinowa's place.

The courtesan made her way to one of the benches and beckoned Kagura to join her.

The younger girl obliged and sat beside her.

* * *

Kagura let out a sigh.

"I-I'm so confused right now, Tsukki." She admitted.

"Is it because that crush of yours didn't show up at the festival?" Tsukuyo asked.

Kagura shook her head.

"No, it's not about him this time."

Tsukuyo raised an eyebrow at the girl.

Just how many boys did Kagura have problems with? The courtesan thought, puzzled.

"Who is it this time?" Tsukuyo inquired, then her eyes widened, "Please tell me its not Shinpachi! Kagura, I know your love with that Sadist is not going well but you mustn't become desperate enough to date the glasses!"

Kagura's eye flinched.

"Ew, no it's not Shinpachi." She replied, then, in a small voice, she added, "It's Mayora."

"What was that?" Tsukuyo asked, unable to catch what the girl had said.

A blush erupted on Kagura's cheeks, "It's Mayora!" She shrieked.

Tsukuyo immediately dropped her pipe, her mouth hanging open.

Kagura's eye flinched again, "Don't react like that!" She cried, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

Seeing the girl's flustered state, the courtesan snapped out of her initial shock.

Tsukuyo tried to compose herself, picking up her pipe and attempting to close her jaw.

She cleared her throat.

"By Mayora, you mean that Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi?" She asked.

Kagura nodded shyly.

"Hmm," Tsukuyo began, "And what problem might you be having with him?" she asked while trying to take a puff from her pipe, only to fail and accidentally poking herself in the cheek.

Kagura pushed herself back further onto the bench, bringing her knees up against her chest and hugging them.

While hiding her face behind her legs, she replied, "Yesterday, I found out he had feelings for me."

Tsukuyo's eyes immediately widened.

"He does?" She asked.

Kagura nodded as she stared at the ground.

The courtesan cleared her throat, "and how do you feel about that?"

No wonder the poor girl was confused, what a complicated situation, Tsukuyo thought.

"That's just it, Tsukki, I don't know how to respond to this. It's just so weird!" Kagura cried, "It's Mayora for goodness sake! I never even considered him in that way once!"

Tsukuyo gave her a searching look.

"Hey Kagura," She began, "You know who else has a crush on you?"

Kagura looked up at her in confusion, "Huh?"

"Shinpachi." Tsukuyo told her.

"Ew hell no!" Kagura immediately yelled.

"You know who else?" Tsukuyo continued, "That Plain guy from the Shinsengumi."

Kagura made a choking sound, "Ah not Jimmy!"

"Not to mention Seita, ever since you gave him that Valentine chocolate a few years ago." Tsukuyo added.

"Ugh stop!" Kagura pleaded, looking green.

"I'll stop if you stop lying to yourself." Tsukuyo replied.

* * *

Kagura blinked.

"What do you-" She tried to say.

But Tsukuyo stopped her with a wave of her hand, she gave the girl a small smile, "You reacted immediately when I told you about all these other boys' feelings. You made your feelings about them loud and clear, yet, you're apparently confused about reacting to Hijikata's feelings?"

Kagura's eyes widened but she stayed silent.

Tsukuyo took this as a sign to continue, "I don't know whether you're doing it subconsciously or on purpose, but you're preventing yourself from seeing this man that loves you, in a similar light that he sees you. Is it because you're scared? Too fixated on the sadist? I don't know, Only you can answer those questions." She said.

Tsukuyo fixed her gaze on the confused girl.

"Kagura. The only thing I know is, while you were busy chasing after a man that may or may not love you back, there was a man that stayed with you the whole time and fell for you even after all that happened, even after knowing that he was aiding you in getting another man, he stuck by your side."

Tsukuyo paused for a puff on her pipe.

Kagura had become awfully still and quiet, her face hidden behind her knees.

Tsukuyo hoped it was because she was listening and taking in everything she was saying.

The girl finally moved when the courtesan placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Kagura, if you keep running away, you might lose the chance to be with an amazing man, and to love him back." Tsukuyo told her.

* * *

Silence fell again between the two women.

Tsukuyo continued to smoke her pipe.

She was giving Kagura the opportunity to think things over.

Normally, Tsukuyo would question such a pairing, after all, there was a considerable age gap.

But, after seeing Kagura's reaction to the man's feelings, and the way the man himself treated Kagura, She couldn't help but support it.

She hoped with all her heart that the girl would give it a chance.

* * *

As if on cue, Kagura suddenly got up.

Without looking back, the girl let out a quick 'Thanks, Tsukki!' before running off.

The courtesan let out a small laugh.

She had caught a glimpse of Kagura's face before she'd gone.

It was a face full of determination and fire.

She missed seeing that look on the Yato's face.

Since all of these love shenanigans happened, the girl rarely had that look,.

Thinking about it, Tsukki had only seen it a few times, these passed few weeks.

They were all the times Kagura had been with Hijikata.

* * *

Hijikata yawned again.

What was this? The sixth stack? The seventh? He'd lost count.

That damn Sadist had left him with piles and piles of paperwork that he hadn't done during his whole time as a Vice-Chief.

Hijikata made an oath to seek revenge the moment the idiot came back from his self-declared leave.

A knock came just as Hijikata stabbed the portrait Sougo had hung of himself, in the Vice-Chief office.

"Come in." The exhausted man told the person behind the door.

The knocker came in.

Hjikata immediately gasped, causing his cigarette to fall out of his mouth and igniting some of the paperwork.

"Aaah!" The Vice-Chief let out before stomping out the flames.

He straightened himself out the moment he was done and looked at the new comer nervously.

* * *

"I admit, I thought I'd never see you again." Hijikata let out after a while.

"Well, I admit, I almost considered avoiding you." Kagura replied.

Hijikata's eye twitched.

What was she doing here?

It couldn't be that could it?

She wouldn't do that to him.

Or would she?

"L-look!" Hijikata began, "T-there's no need to report me to pedophile watch or anything, I-I had no intention of acting on my feelings for you! I-" But the idiot didn't get to finish spluttering, Kagura had shut him up by throwing herself at him.

The two fell in a heap onto the floor.

A wave of dejavu hit Hijikata right at that moment.

Kagura was on top of him, in his office, while both held very compromising positions.

Hadn't this happened before? The poor guy asked himself, while trying to avert his eyes from any exposed skin on the girl above him.

"What are you-" He tried to ask but Kagura cut him off.

"Hijikata-san, Please go out with me!" Kagura breathed.

Hijikata's flustered face immediately turned into a frown.

* * *

"Oy, are you making fun of me? It's not funny. Just because You know about my feelings, doesn't mean you can toy with me, China."

With a quick maneuver, he had the both of them in a sitting position.

"If you're just here to pull that sh*t, then lea-" But he didn't get to finish.

A fist connected with his face.

"You idiot! I was being serious! That was so embarrassing to do and you react like that!?" an angry Yato growled.

Hijikata rubbed at his face.

"Tch! That hurt, what the hell, China?" He growled, only to be rewarded with a kick to the stomach.

"I come here to tell you that I'm considering being with you, and you play it off as a joke?" Kagura roared, "Well fine, it was all a joke, Like I'd ever want to try dating an old man like you! I'm leaving, bye!"

In his pain induced daze, Hijikata caught a glimpse of her face.

It couldn't be, he thought.

She was serious!

* * *

Just as Kagura was about to go out of the office, a hand gripped her arm.

She immediately turned around and glared at the idiot who dared touch her in her state.

"You really want another punch don't ya!?" she growled at the now black and blue Hijikata.

He didn't reply.

Another anger mark appeared on the girl's face.

She threw a punch, only to have that hand intercepted as well by Hijikata's other hand.

The yato let out an animalistic growl, before attempting a kick at the Vice-Chief.

Hijikata simply prevented this, by pulling her closer to him, lessening her leg-swinging space.

"What the hell are you doing, you bastard?!" Kagura shrieked in fury.

Despite her outrage, Hijikata just stared at her with a very serious look on his bruised face.

"Kagura," He began, immediately shutting up her tantrum.

Hijikata looked her straight in the eye, "I love you."

Kagura's eyes widened, her face becoming crimson.

Then, without a word, she began moving her head closer to Hijikata's.

At first, the mayonnaise addict was surprised, but after a moment, he got the message and leaned in closer as well.

Just as their lips were about to meet, Hijikata saw stars.

A stinging pain errupted on his forehead.

Kagura had headbutted him.

* * *

"What the hell, China!?" Hijikata growled.

"Like hell I was gonna kiss you without you brushing your teeth first! I don't wanna taste mayonnaise breath!" Kagura growled back.

"You little brat!" Hijikata yelled, "My breathe doesn't taste like mayonnaise, just how unhygienic do you think I am? I'm not Kondo-san!"

Kagura immediately rose to the challenge, "Oh yeah?" and with that, she grabbed him and shoved her lips onto his.

Hijikata had to stop himself from laughing out loud right then and there.

The idiot was kissing him so clumsily, if it wasn't for the fact that it hurt a bit, he would be chuckling by now.

Who the hell told this gir,l that kissing involved trying to draw blood from your partner's lips?

Hijikata placed a gentle hand on Kagura's cheek and adjusted the kiss a bit.

It immediately became wonderful.

The euphoria that he felt definitely beat the time he fell into daydreams of the mayonnaise factory.

* * *

After a moment, they separated.

Both were breathing hard, mostly from tongue wrestling, partly from all the shouting they had done prior to the kissing.

Hijikata couldn't help but grin like an idiot.

His happiness would have lasted as well if the girl hadn't made a whole show of wiping her mouth right in front of him.

"Y-yeah, definitely tastes like mayonnaise." She muttered.

An anger mark immediately appeared on Hijikata's forehead, right next to the bruise from the headbutt.

"Well your mouth doesn't taste great either, its full of that sourness from that crap you snack on!" he growled.

Kagura let out a 'Tch!'.

"Oy, how are you gonna make it up to me? My first real kiss and it tastes like mayonnaise." She grumbled at Hijikata.

"I thought your first kiss was with Sougo before, and we also kissed two nights ago" Hijikata corrected her.

"Shut up! I don't acknowledge those two as real kisses!" Kagura replied, she then put her hand against her heart dramatically, "AaAaAh, my special first kiss was ruined, how will you ever make up for it Mayora?"

A few more anger marks erupted on Hijikata's face.

"What the hell are you-"

Kagura cut him off, "Well, I guess you can take me out for food a few times." she then covered her mouth in a gasp, "But wouldn't that count as dates? AaAaAh, it can't be helped, how else can you make it up to me?"

* * *

Hijikata, with all his might, stopped himself from reacting violently to the girl.

"Oy, is this your annoying way of asking me again to go out with you?" he asked, teeth clenched.

"Maybe." Kagura answered, letting out a sigh, her face instantly becoming serious.

"Look," She began, "I'm still not clear about my feelings right now, I know I still like the Sadist but..." she turned to look at Hijikata, "I also have feelings for your old man a*s, so go out with me already, idiot!"

Before she could react, Hijikata threw her over his shoulder and began walking out of the room.

"M-mayora what the hell are you doing!?" Kagura cried.

"Revenge for being annoying." Hijikata replied.

He ignored the looks the men were giving him as he carried the struggling Yato out of the compound.

"Let me go! Ah help, the lolicon is taking me somewhere!" Kagura shrieked as Hijikata made his way to his car.

"Shut up, You're not a loli anymore, at least you don't weigh like one." He growled.

"Where the hell are you taking me?" Kagura yelled.

Hijikata sighed as the girl began pulling at his hair.

"I'm taking you on that date you asked for, dumba*s. We're going to a restaurant." He told her.

Kagura immediately stopped struggling.

"Restaurant? You're paying right?" She asked in a soft voice.

Hijikata 'Tch!'-ed.

"I tell you I'm taking you on a date and all you get out of that is the free food!?" He growled, letting her go.

Kagura slowly slid off of him and found herself face to face with the angry man.

They looked at each other.

"We're going on a date?" She asked in a tiny voice.

"Yeah." Hijikata replied.

Kagura's cheeks turned pink and she diverted her face from his.

"Okay." she let out.

* * *

Kagura quietly placed herself in the front seat while Hijikata took the driver's side.

Just as Hijikata was about to start the engine, The girl surprised him with another kiss.

They separated after a few seconds.

"This time, it tastes like Tobacco." Kagura told him.

A whole bunch of anger marks erupted all over Hijikata's being.

"You damn brat!"

"Shut up nicotine addict, if we're gonna start going out, you better quit smoking!"

"Like hell I am! I'm gonna increase it to ten packs a day!"

And so, the new couple drove off to the family restaurant, arguing the whole way, with enjoyment on their faces.

* * *

A few weeks later.

"I'm hungry." Kagura grumbled.

"You just ate!" Hijikata growled.

They were on their somethingth date.

This time, Hijikata had taken her to a museum, but, alas, the girl had been more interested in the food cart outside the place rather than the artifacts.

"Twelve hotdogs arent enough." Kagura muttered.

"They're enough for my budget." Hijikata replied, "That's right! I had to start budgeting my money after all your food expenses on our dates."

Kagura stared at him with a bored look, picking her nose unabashedly in front of him, "Oy oy, It's too late to regret dating me now, Mayora, You knew from the start how big my appetite was."

Hijikata let out a 'Tch!'

"Geez, you sound more and more like that idiot boss of yours, everyday. Stop that or I'm seriously gonna break up with you." He told her.

"Hey if I can accept your mayonnaise and smoking addiction, you should accept that I absorb Gin-chan's wisdom like a sponge." Kagura replied.

"You're more like a clean cloth that was used to wipe and absorb dirty water." Hijikata retorted.

They continued to bicker ,next to the fountain, outside the museum.

Unknown to them, a familiar person had come back and was walking by.

In the middle of telling her date how much toothpaste she had wasted brushing her teeth, after every kiss shared with him, Kagura spotted the him.

"I'll be right back." She told Hijikata.

Before Hijikata could question her, she walked over to the the idiot that had finally returned.

"Sadist." Kagura greeted him.

* * *

 _OOooh Sougo is back? what has he been up to? also, get ready for a surprise guest next chapter._

 _*The next Okikagu chapter as well as the next Hijikagu chapter will both be the final chapter for both versions. I can't believe I'm this close to completing this. It's been quite a ride and there's been ups and downs, but I'm glad I rode it with you guys. Thanks for all your guys support and continued reading even when my chapter qualities differ sometimes. It's been fun turning this story in my weird brain into one that could be shared with all of you._

 _*Since I have time, I'm planning to re-write and re-upload the older chapters since there were plenty of weird grammar and stuff in some._

 _*Also, even though I have planned a sequel already to this as well as a new Hijikagu based story, I probably won't be doing it anytime soon since I get busy in June and July. I'll only update my 'Unships' fan fiction. If you guys like the humor and random character interactions (not including the romance) in this story, then you should definitely check this other fanfic out since it's full of it._

 _Thanks and see you guys next time (soon)_


	25. Okikagu Final Chapter

**A/N: Behold! The last Okikagu Chapter!**

 **Responses: Angel Soares: aw Thanks for sticking to my story, I hope you enjoy this last chapter of Okikagu.**

 **Blue Lilybell: glad you enjoyed the last chapter, I hope you enjoy this last Okikagu chapter as well! Thanks for sticking with this story until now!**

 ***Anyway, last scene for Okikagu, start!**

* * *

Final Chapter (Chapter 22) Okikagu version (True ending.)

Sougo could barely see through the rage clouding his vision.

He didn't care that Kagura was giving him a look that a guy wouldn't want to receive from the girl he loved.

He'd finally got her, only for something, eerily similar to the love-mess he'd been suffering for the passed few weeks, to happen.

"What's going on? What are you doing here? Oy!" Sougo growled at the girl he thought had finally become his girlfriend.

"You're the one that needs to explain himself, bastard." Kagura replied in a monotone voice, giving him her most annoying bored face, "We were having a private conversation and you barge in here after obviously eavesdropping."

An anger mark appeared on Sougo's face.

He was starting to question whether or not he was really a sadist.

The girl he loved was an extreme pain in the ass, maybe he was a masochist all along?

"I don't want my woman to have private conversations with guys, _especially_ with this guy!" He growled, pointing a finger at Hijikata.

Hijikata flicked the finger away from his face.

"Bastard, don't accuse me of wronging you again. I have no idea what's going on myself." He told the sadist.

Sougo narrowed his eyes at him with suspicion.

He was just about to say something when Kagura beat him to it.

"How hard is it to understand 'please let that idiot boyfriend of mine have the evening off so I can go to the festival with him.', Mayora?" Kagura hissed at the Vice-Chief.

"Shut up! It's hard to understand because you actually thought there was a chance I'd let this bastard off, after all the slacking he's done!" Hijikata spat.

Kagura immediately grabbed the man's collar, "I said please, dammit!"

Hijikata shoved his face closer to the girl's, "Hell. No."

In an instant, a sheathed sword appeared beteen the two idiot's heads.

"Okay okay, that's enough." Sougo said in his deadpan voice, "Seriously, if you get any closer to her I'll cut off your b*lls, Hijikata." He added in a warning tone.

The two immediately separated.

Back in his seat, Hijikata took out a cigarette and lit it.

"Look," He bagan, letting out a puff of smoke, "I can't let Sougo off during the festival. With all the families around and the crowd, it would be a perfect place for a terrorist attack to happen. He's one of our best guys, we need him working tonight."

Kagura slammed her hands on Hijikata's desk.

"B-but Mayora!" She protested.

Hijikata sighed, "Sorry, It's already been decided."

Kagura hung her head, "F-fine. It's not like I really wanted to go anyway." She then turned to the sadist, "Especially after this bastard accused me of being unfaithful and calling me his 'woman' like I'm some kind of property." the girl then proceeded to give her sort-of-boyfirend the middle finger.

Sougo 'Tch!'-ed.

"Oy, don't blame me for how I reacted. You dated this guy before me, its natural for me to be worried." He argued.

"Fake dated!" Kagura corrected, "Also, you didn't even care that I was asking on your behalf, for a time off so we could spend time together. Do you actually wanna be with me?"

Sougo immediately choked back the reply he was about to carelessly throw out.

Dammit. He was doing it again.

Making her question everything about them.

He had to fix it somehow.

* * *

In an instant, Sougo had his sword out and against Hijikata's throat.

"Oy, let me off for the evening, damn Vice-Chief." He growled.

"B-bastard!" Hijikata croaked as he leaned his head back in an attempt to avoid being cut.

The poor guy then turned to Kagura, She was the object of the Sadist's weird affection, surely she could stop him.

His face darkened.

There, pointed directly at his face, was the tip of Kagura's umbrella.

"Oy Oy Mayora, you better do what he says, you don't wanna get hurt do ya?" The brat said in her thug voice.

This damn sadistic couple! Hijikata cursed in his mind.

"So what do you say, Hijikata-san? I'd like to get off by five so that we could get to the festival early, while the festival food are still hot." Sougo told his hostage, ah! He meant his superior.

"Yes yes! I want to eat Yakisoba straight off the fire." Kagura said excitedly, she then poked Hijikata's cheek with her umbrella, "C'mon Mayora, do it."

Hijikata made a mental note to beat the sh*t out of the two someday, when they were separated of course.

No way in hell could he stand facing the sadist combo.

"Like I said," he began in a low growl, "I can't let Sougo off, dammit! You guys wanna go to the festival that bad? Well, so do the Joi factions!"

Kagura poked his cheek again while Sougo lifted his blade higher against Hijikata's chin.

"Like we care." They chorused.

The three looked just about ready to get into an all out fight, when the one silent observer finally stepped in.

* * *

"Aaah! Everyone, please calm down!" Yamazaki shrieked, diving for Hjikata.

The momentum moved both him and the Vice-Chief away from the sadist couple's weapon's reach.

"Z-Zaki?" Hijikata said in surprise at his savior.

They didn't have time for thanks and what-nots though , the demon couple were on the move again.

The two closed in on Hijikata and Yamazaki.

The spy immediately placed himself in front of his boss.

"Wait wait wait!" He shrieked, waving his arms at the two attackers.

Thankfully, they paused.

"Zaki, move. We just wanna _chat_ with Hijikata-san." Sougo told him, a scary glint in his eyes.

"Gin-chan always said that a man speaks better with his fists and sword." Kagura declared, cracking her knuckles.

"Ooooy! In the end you guys just want to beat up the Vice-Chief!" Yamazaki yelled.

The couple tilted their heads to the side, "Yeah, So?" they chorused.

The demons began coming closer again.

Yamazaki immediately panicked and blurted out the first thing he could think of that could stop them.

"Wait! What if the Vice-Chief lets Captain Okita off now, instead of in the evening? And he could just come back for the festival patrol after you two have spent time together." He cried.

The beasts paused.

They looked at each other.

"I'm actually fine with anytime, as long as I get time off." Sougo muttered.

"You're always declaring yourself some time off though!" Hijikata growled.

They ignored him.

"But I want to eat festival food." Kagura told the Sadist.

"Well you could go to the festival with the boss and the glasses and eat then." Sougo replied.

Kagura looked away from him, "B-but I want to spend time with you, Idiot."

"Hmm, well if Hijikata let's me have time off now, we can be together, sooner." Sougo told her.

The girl immediately brightened, "Oh right!"

Yamazaki let out a sigh of relief, great, they weren't gonna be killed.

"But, It's still better to spend time together at a festival." Sougo added.

We're done for! Yamazaki screamed in his head.

"Wait! What if Hijikata-san let's you have a few hours off right now, Captain AND he pays for your and China's date?" The spy asked in a last ditch effort.

The couple became scarily quiet then.

Yamazaki gulped, were these his last few moments in this world?

* * *

After a few more painfully silent seconds, The couple finally moved.

Yamazaki squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the killing blow when-

"Okay." Sougo told them, "Well, that'll be thirty thousand yen, Hijikata-san." He added, holding out his hand.

"Hah!?" Hijikata let out, shocked at the amount, "Just where the hell are you gonna have your date? The Shogun's palace?"

Sougo gave him a look before continuing his sadistic extortion

(Note: _Two thousand yen notes are very rare in Japan, 30k yen is around 300USD while 50k yen is 500USD_ ).

"Hmm, I forgot to calculate dessert, That actually makes it fifty thousand yen, Hijikata-san. I prefer them in two thousand yen notes please, but if you don't have those, Then I guess I could just take your card with me and return it after." The demon told the poor Vice-Chief.

"Yay! Free food!" Kagura cheered.

"You two are monsters."A dark-faced Yamazaki murmured.

* * *

Yamazaki was beginning to wish he'd never interrupted in the first place.

After a wrestling match between Sougo and Hijikata, for the latter's wallet, things were quiet again, or at least as quiet as it could be.

"Thanks a lot again, Hijikata-san." Sougo said with a smirk as he tossed Hijikata's wallet up and down, in his hand.

"Yeah, Mayora, It was very genius of you." Kagura added, playing solitaire with Hijikata's credit and bank cards.

"You mean 'Generous.'" Yamazaki corrected her, his face getting paler as he watched her give up her game and, instead, decide to build a house of cards.

Hijikata laid on the floor, face-down.

He hadn't moved for a while now.

"You bastards." He managed to say, making Yamazaki sigh with relief, at the sign that he was still alive.

"What was that, Hijikata-san?" Sougo asked, apparently too occupied with counting the cash in the stolen wallet, to listen.

Hijikata let out a 'Tch!'.

"Hurry up and get the hell out of here already." He growled, "But you better be back for the patrol, Sougo!"

The sadist smirked and stood up, he helped Kagura to her feet.

"Well, then, we'll be going now." He announced.

" _Fack Yew_!" Hijikata replied.

Sougo ignored him.

"Ah, that's right, Hijikata-san, you won't mind if we use your car for the date too won't you?" He asked cheerfully.

Then, without waiting for a reply, he grabbed Kagura's hand and lead her to the Shinsengumi garage.

* * *

Back in Hijikata's office.

The poor Vice-Chief still laid on the floor.

Yamazaki didn't know what to do.

Maybe he should give the poor guy some space to mourn his money and car.

Just as he was about to get up and leave, the man spoke to him.

"Oy Zaki," Hijikata began, "Once I feel better, I'm gonna kill ya for suggesting such a thing to those two."

The spy gulped and got out of there fast, before the Demon Vice-Chief recovered.

* * *

Alone again, Hijikata managed to get into a sitting position, without being overwhelmed with pain form his injuries.

He sighed.

Just when he thought he'd be in peace again, the new couple had to make him their first victim.

Shakily, he took out another cigarette and lit it.

He took a long puff.

Damn was he tired.

Don't misunderstand, he cared for Kagura and was glad that he helped her and got her the idiot she loved.

But still, it was such a pain in the a*s experience.

Hijikata was all too glad that it was over.

Now he never had to deal with something like that ever again.

* * *

"E-excuse me, May I come in? I have something I want to consult with you." A voice came from his open veranda door.

Hijikata's eyes widened when he saw who his guest was.

"You're from the Yagyu clan!" He exclaimed.

"Yes, I don't think we ever introduced ourselves properly, I'm Yagyu Kyubei. You are Hijikata Toushirou, right?" The girl asked shyly.

"Ah, yeah." Hijikata awkwardly replied.

Kyubei placed herself in front of him.

"Sorry for the interruption to your work." She told him.

"Uh n-nah, It's fine." Hijikata replied, he cleared his throat, "So, you had something to consult with me? If it's for the Shogun or the country, The Shinsengumi are at your service."

"A-actually, it's a personal thing, a-and I don't want the Shinsengumi's help, j-just yours." Kyubei stammered.

"Is that so?" Hijikata said, becoming suspicious, "What does the heir of the Yagyu clan want my help for?"

In an instant, Kyubei was on his desk.

The girl had obviously tried to get on him, but instead, whether it was due to her subconscious deflection from men, or her lack of height to reach him, she failed.

"Oy, what are you-!" Hijikata tried to say, but the struggling girl cut him off.

"Hijikata, go out with me!" Kyubei cried.

"Guy that is fifty percent less hot than Gin-san, go out with me!" Sacchan cried at the same time, as she fell out of the ceiling.

"Toshi, be my fake date!" Kondo shrieked as well, as he burst through the door.

* * *

All three idiots fell on top of the poor Vice-Chief in a heap.

They immediately began squabbling.

"You b*tch! I asked him first!" Sacchan screamed while pulling Kyubei's hair.

"How dare you think that using this man would make Otae-chan jealous!?" Kyubei growled at Kondo.

"You were doing the exact same thing though!" Kondo cried as the two women stepped on him.

Below the three of them, Hijikata groaned with pain and regret.

Just as he was seeing the light and on the brink of crossing over to the other side, a newcomer arrived.

* * *

"What's going on here!?" A female voice shouted.

The three idiots turned to the speaker.

"Tsukki! What are you doing here, don't tell me you're also-!" Sacchan shrieked.

"I came here looking for Kagura, she told me she was coming here." Tsukuyo told her, cutting her off.

"S-she left already." Hijikata croaked out from beneath the pile of idiots.

Tsukuyo's face darkened.

"Oy, get off of the man already before you guys become murderers." She growled.

The three idiots stepped off of Hijikata.

"Sorry Toshi." Kondo apologized.

"My bad." Sacchan told him.

"I apologize." Kyubei said.

Tsukuyo nodded with approval.

She approached the beat up Hijikata on the floor.

Carefully, she draped his arm over her shoulder.

"I'll take you to the hospital." She told him.

The three idiots immediately felt guilty for their actions.

"We'll help!" Kyubei shouted, placing herself next to Tsukuyo and draping the courtesan's arm around her own shoulders.

"Um, Excuse me Kyubei, but, I'm not the injured one here." Tsukuyo told her.

"I can't really touch him or I'd end up injuring him more." Kyubei replied.

Then why even bother helping?! Tsukuyo screamed in her mind.

"Toshi!" Kondo howled before grabbing Hijikata's other arm and putting it over his shoulder, "Sorry!"

"I'll pay the hospital bill." Sacchan offered.

"You don't have to do that, we have health insurance." Kondo informed her.

The ninja smirked and held out a wallet, "It's okay, I managed to get a rich-boy ninja's wallet while he was busy putting on his hemorrhoid ointment."

The foursome walked out of the Shinsengumi compound, with Hijikata in the middle of them.

* * *

In the middle of the streets in Edo, Kondo paused.

He just noticed their surroundings now.

"Hey, this isn't the way to the hospital." He told them, although the place was definitely familiar.

He couldn't believe he hadn't seen the Kabuki-Cho arch when they had passed it.

"Ah you're right." Tsukuyo replied, "I think we got lost. Well then, why don't you, Kyubei and Sarutobi spread out and find the hospital and when you do, get them to send an ambulance. I'll stay here with Hijikata." The courtesan suggested.

The ninja, gorilla and heir all nodded in agreement.

They began making their way towards different directions.

"I'll just pass by here a few times." Tsukuyo added, as she carried Hijikata back and forth in front of the Yorozuya building.

The three instantly stopped their retreat.

"Tsukki! In the end you were also just gonna use him to make Gin-san jealous!" Sacchan shrieked.

"Ah! Toshi's beginning to froth from his mouth!" Kondo cried.

"That was very under-handed of you, Tsukuyo!" Kyubei growled.

"N-no it's not like that, I'm just making sure he stays conscious while we wait for the ambulance." Tsukuyo defended herself.

"Yeah right! I'm sure making his beat up, frothing head lean against yours like a lovey-dovey couple, keeps him conscious!" Sacchan yelled, grabbing Hijikata's other arm and trying to pull him away from the courtesan.

"I asked him first! Plus, the one you two are trying to make jealous isn't even worth your time, Otae-chan on the other hand-!" Kyubei argued, grabbing one of Hijikata's leg and joining the tug-of-Hijikata.

"Shut up! Gin-san is the best!" Sacchan screamed while mercilessly pulling Hijikata's limb with all her might.

"AAaah! Leave Toshi alone!" Kondo yelled, grabbing Hijikata's left over leg in an attempt to get him away from the crazy women, "Also, Otae-san is mine to make jealous, not yours!" He added, hissing at Kyubei.

With roars that scared off all the passers-by, all four idiots pulled at poor Hijikata until he really did become unconscious.

* * *

Shinpachi let out a big yawn.

Oh no, he was starting to have bad sleeping habits like his other two co-workers.

"I'll do some stretching in the balcony to wake me up!" He declared to himself.

The boy opened the door, saw something outside, and immediately closed it again with a bang.

"Oy Shinpachi, be more gentle will ya? We just fixed that door." Gintoki told him.

He went over to the door to check on it, only to be stopped by Shinpachi.

"Gin-san," The boy began in a hollow tone, his face was dark with trauma, "Don't go outside, there's a mayonnaise addict being murdered."

Somehow, this excited Gintoki and the idiot quickly opened the door for a look.

His face darkened.

There, right in front of their house, were four idiotic demons, in the middle of them, was a scarily still Vice-Chief.

The guy must be dead.

Or so Gintoki thought.

The mayonnaise addict opened his eyes for a second and immediately made eye contact with the perm-head.

Hijikata, with all the strength he could muster, mouthed, "Help me!"

Gin instantly shut the door.

* * *

Later that day, after a thorough investigation, Hijikata Toushiro's death was deemed an accident, according to the Chief of the Shinsengumi.

"Oy! Don't go killing me off! I'm still alive and kicking, dammit!" Hijikata yelled.

The poor guy sighed.

It had been a rough day for him.

The sun was finally setting but it felt like the day had taken forever to be over.

If he squinted, Hijikata could see a hint of the colorful festival stalls in the city.

"Those bastards better do their job well." He growled.

Most of the men, mainly the ones that had participated in the plan yesterday, were there patrolling the festivities.

Kondo and Hijikata had tricked them by saying they'd get the day off to go to the festival, but really, they were basically getting set up to patrol in plain clothes.

Thankfully, this meant Hijikata could actually take the evening off.

With Kondo and, hopefully, Sougo, there, the festival would be in good hands.

* * *

The Vice-Chief trudged along the narrow path up the hill.

After a bit more climbing, he finally got to the top.

"Sh*t, I hope they aren't squished." He muttered, checking the bouquet of flowers he'd brought.

His shadow fell across tomb stone after tomb stone as he walked towards his destination.

In the light of the setting sun, he stopped in front of one.

Carefully, Hijikata took out a bag and knelt down to arrange what he'd brought.

After some tweaking, he was done.

The Vice-Chief placed himself in a cross-legged position in front of the grave, where he'd placed a plate of mochi and the flowers.

"Hey, Mitsuba." He began, a small smile spreading on his lips, "You won't believe it, but that troublesome little brother of yours, finally got himself a girlfriend."

* * *

A Few weeks later.

"I'm tired!" Kagura whined.

"You're a Yato, you probably have more stamina than me, and I haven't even broken a sweat yet." Sougo replied.

They were in the mountains, or at least halfway there.

They'd been climbing for a while now, Sougo in nice, civilian clothes and Kagura in her best red dress.

"Geez," The girl began, fixing her boyfriend with a judgemental look, "This is why you can never understand a maiden's heart. Be more sensitive to a girl's feelings will ya?"

"Who said you're even a girl?" Sougo retorted, "Also, after what we did last Friday, I don't think you can call yourself a maiden anymore."

An anger mark and a blush simultaneously appeared on Kagura's face.

"Are you saying you're dating something that's not a girl? Also shut up about that! If Gin-chan found out about last Friday, he's gonna take your b*lls."

Sougo stared at her with a deadpan expression, "Too late, you already crushed my b*lls when you-"

"Shut up!" A very red Kagura growled as she gave her idiot boyfriend a drop kick to the face.

* * *

After more climbing, the two were back on non-'I'm gonna kill you!' terms.

"How much further?" Kagura asked.

"Just a bit more, I can already glimpse a bit of that small field of theirs." Sougo replied, "Once you start smelling old geezer, then you'll know we've arrived."

He felt a hand on his arm.

"What is it?" He asked his girlfriend.

"You think they'll like me?" The girl asked, looking all serious.

Sougo stared at the worried expression she gave him.

With a blank face, he flicked her forehead, making the worry fade from her face in an instant.

"Ow, what was that fo-!" Kagura tried to scream, but Sougo shut her up with a surprise kiss.

When they separated, Kagura was neither pissed nor worried anymore, just really red.

Sougo gave her a small but genuine smile.

"Hey, I fell for you, so that means you're awesome. Of course they'll like you."

Kagura turned redder.

"O-okay." She squeaked, making Sougo sigh.

Geez, he says something sweet and all she replied is 'okay'?

What does a guy have to do to get a repeat of last Friday?

His dirty thoughts were interrupted when he felt a small hand slip inside his bigger one.

"Let's go. I can smell the prune juice and fake teeth, already." Kagura told him.

A smirk couldn't help itself appearing on Sougo's face.

He intertwined his fingers with hers and began walking again.

"You forgot the old people sweat smell." He added.

* * *

The sadist couple came upon a small field.

The crops seemed to have been harvested recently.

There was a small farm house as well.

It was there that they spotted two old people waving excitedly at them.

The Sadist and Yato gave each other one last look, before walking over to them.

They all smiled.

* * *

 _And that's a wrap! at least for those following Okikagu that is. Thank you for everything until now. Your guys support and feedback and constant reading has kept me from doing what I usually do, which is never finishing what I started, but here I am posting the last Chapter of a story I wasn't even sure I was going to finish, and I feel both sad and happy. In all honesty, I was seriously thinking of going on hiatus after I posted that big chapter when Okikagu finally happened, I couldn't help notice the sudden decrease in the number of follows and favorites and it got less reviews than I expected for a big scene. But, after reading something on my social media, a quote saying that for writers, even if they receive a negative reception for the piece of work they are proud of, they shouldn't let it get to them, because writers owe it not only to the characters they write about who still needs their stories told, but also to the readers that did stay, and continued to support them. Therefore, I decided to keep going until I had done my readers and these wonderful characters the justice they deserved by finishing what I had began. I hope everyone enjoyed this journey as much as I did. Once again, thank you guys for everything and OKIKAGU forever! (and slight Hijikagu!)_

 _*I probably won't write the sequel or the Hijikagu story I'm planning, anytime soon, so let's enjoy the other amazing and wonderful stories on this site as well as the canon Manga and Anime! like OMG for those reading the manga, OMG Tsundere, sis-con, mama's boy is back! (So much for being subtle, its so obvious who it is, sorry for the slight spoiler.)_

 _*See you guys on some other story! Or for those still reading Hijikagu, See you guys next chapter (which is also the final one.) Bye-bee!_


	26. Hijikagu Final Chapter

**First of all, I am so sorry for the long hiatus!**

 **It was unplanned and the busyness of last school term was unexpected.**

 **But of course, you guys don't want to read excuses, you want to read the Hijikagu final chapter!**

 **Here it is!**

* * *

It felt like a long time ago, that Kagura had last laid eyes on the sadist.

So much had changed since.

Yet, perhaps one thing hadn't.

Carefully, she checked her breathing.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Next, her heart rate. Nope, everything was normal on this end as well.

Her hands slowly reached up to her face, her cheeks were warm, but nothing that indicated she was blushing.

Could it be?

Was she finally over Sougo?

* * *

"Yo, China. Long time no see. I wish it were longer." The Sadist greeted her.

In an instant, her heart beat faster, her breathing heightened and her whole body turned red.

Dammit, Kagura thought.

Just as she was about to freak out about her reaction, a familiar voice called to her.

"Hey Kagura, everything okay?" Hijikata asked as he walked over.

He paused in his step the moment he spotted Sougo.

His eyes immediately darted towards his date.

A sunken feeling overwhelmed Hijikata when he noticed Kagura's expression.

"I-I'll leave you two to it." He let out, before going back the way he came, albeit a little more sadly.

Kagura watched him go.

Her heart was still beating like crazy, her complexion remained the same color as her dress, but her breathing had calmed.

In fact, it had calmed the moment she heard Hijikata's voice.

Perhaps...Perhaps she had interpreted her reaction wrong.

Maybe she didn't freak out because Sougo spoke to her.

But because she felt nervous that she was speaking to her old crush, whilst on a date with the guy she was currently falling for.

Kagura gave one last look at Hijikata's turned back, before facing Sougo.

"You know," She began, "For a guy that boasts about how great he is, you run away a lot."

A smirk formed on Sougo's lips, "Tch! Hey I'm just smart enough to know when to retreat"

Kagura smirked back, "Yeah right." And, in a more serious tone, "You Okay now?"

Sougo's eyes widened slightly at her question, before his expression rested into a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm okay now." He told her.

"Good." Kagura chirped, then proceeded to give him a round house kick to the face.

Sougo fell to the ground.

"You Brat!" He growled, jumping to his feet, "Is that how you greet a guy you haven't seen in a while?"

Kagura grinned at him from ear to ear, "Yup! That's what you get for disappearing like that and worrying everybody, you idiot sadist!"

Sougo couldn't help but give a slight smile as well, "Well I guess I deserve that."

He then spun on his one hand, with his leg kicking Kagura's feet from under her, causing her to fall.

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that you got my clothes dirty. I'm with guests right now you know? I gotta look my best." The Sadist told the girl on the ground while he dusted clothes.

From the ground, Kagura gave him a small kick to the shin.

"You bastard! You think I don't have to look good today? I'm on a date right now, Dammit!"

Sougo's eyes widened in surprise.

His gaze darted from Kagura, to Hijikata in the distance. Understanding dawned on him.

"You're on a date with Hijikata?" He asked.

Kagura instantly turned red again.

"Y-yeah, I-I-!"

"Good." Sougo told her.

This time, it was Kagura's eyes that seemed to almost bulge out of their sockets.

"Really?!" She exclaimed.

This got a chuckle from Sougo.

"Yeah China. I mean it." And, looking her right in the eye, he asked, "Are _you_ okay now?"

* * *

At first, Kagura didn't know how to answer his question.

She'd been avoiding confirming to anyone, even Hijikata himself, that they were officially together.

She was still confused with her feelings and saying so would just give him false hope if it turned out she didn't feel the same.

She couldn't do that to him.

So was she really okay now?

Seeing the sadist again just made her more confused.

Was that reaction earlier because of Sougo? Or because of Hijikata?

Deep down, she had actually been hoping to run into Sougo sometime before confirming anything with Hijikata.

Kagura wanted to clarify her feelings for both men to herself.

Yet, here she was, unable to answer a simple question.

That Is, until she noticed Hijikata was gone from the spot he had been standing on for the past few minutes.

Kagura's eyes immediately darted around, looking for him.

There!

In an instant, a ticklish, warmth, spread throughout her chest.

There, standing in line for the Hot dog truck that was parked outside the museum, arguing with a kid who had cut in front of him, was Hijikata.

He had actually gone to get her more food like she asked.

Sure she had been complaining about not eating enough, just to be a pain in the a*s, but the fact he still went to buy her more food, even after looking hurt that she had spoken to the Sadist, really hit Kagura right in her emotions.

Perhaps he had felt her staring, but in that moment, as Kagura contemplated her feelings for the man she was looking at, said man turned to her direction and, after noticing that she was looking at him, gave her a small smile and a wave.

With that, the soft warmth that was previously just in her chest, spread throughout her whole being, and, without realizing it, Kagura was smiling from ear to ear.

"Yeah. I'm okay now." She told the sadist.

Sougo, whom had witnessed the slideshow of emotions, that had played out on the girl's face just now, smiled as well.

"Good." he said, "That means I can do stuff like this to you again." he added, before kicking her in the face.

Kagura flew a short distance and landed with a thud on the ground.

"You damn sadist!" She roared.

Just as her punch was about to connect with Sougo's face, two people came up beside the sadist.

"Hey brat, barely five minutes back into the city and someone's already picking a fight with you. Just how nasty is your personality?" the old man right next to Sougo asked.

The old lady beside him gave him a small smack on the shoulder.

"You have no right to tease the boy. You're the idiot that just argued with a shop keeper, all because he smiled at me!" she scolded.

The old man turned on her, "That punk was obviously flirting with you! Have your eyes gone that blind, old hag!?"

Suddenly, as if she had regained her youth, the old lady leaped into the air, swiftly took off her slipper and crashed it onto the old man's face.

"Don't call me 'old hag'!"

* * *

Kagura watched all this with a darkened face.

"Oy, Sadist," She began, "Just what the hell were you doing on your leave in the mountains? Summoning monsters or something?"

Sougo ignored her, and , instead, tried to usher the old couple away.

"Didn't I tell you two to wait for me at the market place?" He growled.

"We were there until this idiot over here started a fight with one of the shop keepers and we got kicked out." The old lady told him.

"Tch! What kind of people kicks out helpless old geezers?" Sougo grumbled before leading the couple towards a shady area near the museum.

He walked back to Kagura with a face that almost reminded her of the time that her Papi had accidentally mistook some bullies that were harassing them, to be Kamui's friends, and said some really embarrassing stuff to them.

Kamui's expression of embarrassment looked almost similar to Sougo's right now, with the exception of the sudden rage face that Kamui shifted to, where he proceeded to not only kick the bullies' balls in, but also their father's.

"Sorry about that." Sougo said when he got within talking distance to her.

"Those were the guests you were talking about earlier?" Kagura inquired.

"Yeah. They're a handful and it's their first time in the city so it's a real pain in the a*s." he admitted, "Where were we again?" he added.

Kagura instantly punched him.

He fell to the ground and slid a bit from the impact.

"Oh right." Sougo said, regretfully, as he rubbed at his bruised cheek.

Still in his fallen position, a shadow passed over him.

He looked up and, when he saw it was Kagura, he steadied himself for another attack.

Only, it didn't come.

Instead, a small hand extended towards him.

"Since you also said you're okay now, I can do stuff like that again, right, Sougo?." Kagura said with a genuine smile.

Sougo returned it and grabbed her hand.

Back on his feet, in a swift movement, he had Kagura in a hold, where she couldn't use both her hands and feet.

"Bastard, what are you doing?" she screamed.

"Just hold still for a moment, I'm trying to remember if Hijikata-san is right handed or not." Sougo mumbled.

With a permanent marker he grabbed from somewhere on his person, he began doodling something on her back.

"You jerk! Stop that!" Kagura growled, appalled that the pretty dress she'd chosen for her date was being ruined.

"There." Sougo announced before letting her go.

She immediately distanced herself from him and began flailing her arms around in an attempt to see what he'd written.

"Don't worry, it's something nice." Sougo told her.

"Like hell I believe you!" Kagura replied.

"Just leave it alone, Kagura." He said.

She immediately stopped her movements, after hearing her name.

"Ew, why am I 'Kagura' now?" she asked.

"Tch, says the one who called me 'Sougo' earlier." Sougo scoffed.

"Let's just stick to what we used to call each other, alright!" Kagura replied, getting flustered.

Sougo smirked, "Okay then, China. See ya around."

Kgura's eyes widened a bit at the indication that he was gonna go now.

Noticing this, Sougo explained, "I've still gotta show those geezers around so I can't keep them waiting long or else they'll find something stupid to do again."

"Oh, okay." Kagura told him. She still felt strange though, like she had unfinished business with him.

"Well then, Bye China. Punch ya later." Sougo said with a small wave.

He was on his way back to the old couple, whom now looked like they were being scammed by a passing peddler, when Kagura called out to him.

She had remembered what she had wanted to say to him.

"Wait!" Kagura shouted, causing Sougo to face her.

With clenched knuckles and a slightly faster heart beat, she spoke, "I-itzniceseeinyuagan!"

"What!?" Sougo yelled back.

Kagura closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

When she opened her eyes again, she felt calm.

This time, when she faced Sougo, a huge grin was plastered across her face.

"It's nice to see you again, Sadist!"

* * *

Still smiling, Kagura watched Sougo walk away with the old couple in tow.

She could vaguely hear them question him about who she was.

A slight twinge of annoyance came to her when she heard him reply that she was just some crazy girl that used to be his stalker.

Like hell she was!

Perhaps it was because she was too busy thinking about all the truths she could reveal about Sougo, to the old couple, that she did not notice Hijikata's presence behind her.

"Ah!" she yelped as she accidentally smacked right into him when she tried to turn around.

"Sh*t!" Hijikata let out.

"Oy, is that how you talk in front of your girlfriend?!" Kagura growled.

"Sorry, It wasn't directed at you though. I just accidentally dropped the hot dogs I'd brou-!" Hijikata said before realizing something and stopping in the middle of his speech.

"Hey," He began, "Did you just call yourself my 'girlfriend'?"

Kagura couldn't help giggle at the expression on his face, "Yeah, what about it."

Hijikata stared at her long and hard.

"Oy, is this some prank you and Sougo cooked up to get me?" he asked.

This instantly earned him a smack on the chest.

"Why do you always assume the things I do are meant to be a joke, huh? First, that time I asked you out for real, and now when I finally declare myself your girlfriend. You really like pissing me off, don't ya, Mayora?!" Kagura growled.

Rubbing his chest, Hijikata looked his pissed off date in the eye.

"You sure you want to be my girlfriend?" He asked, seriously.

Kagura let out a 'Tch!' before grabbing his idiot head and kissing him.

"What do you think?" she asked when they separated.

Hijikata leaned in and they kissed again.

"I think I want to be your boyfriend as well." he murmured into her ear after the kiss.

"W-what are you doing, you perv! S-stop that, its weird, and I'm ticklish there!" Kagura replied hysterically, red in the face.

Hijikata chuckled, "Sorry, It's just that, I'm really happy right now."

"In all honesty, I thought what we had for the past few weeks was gonna end right then and there when I saw you and Sougo talking but, I'm glad I was wrong."

"Hah!? Me leave you, for the sadist? That's about as likely to happen as Madao getting a job!" Kagura scoffed.

"You loved Sougo though." Hijikata said with a sad smile.

"Exactly," Kagura replied, surprising him, "I love-ed him. I still care for him of course. But now, well, now my heart beats like crazy for a damn mayonnaise addict." She further explained, then, in a more dramatic tone " AaAaAh! You better take responsibility Toshi!my poor maiden heart is in your hands now."

"Tch! You can have it back if you're gonna be that dramatic about it!" Hijikata growled, making Kagura break character and giggle.

"Really though, Me and Sadist are okay now." With a grin, she added, "We're back to kicking each other's a*s'"

Hijikata couldn't help but smile back.

He was finally in an official relationship with the girl he loved, with the bonus of her previous flame back to being just her rival. What more could he ask for?

"Oh right, you dropped the hot dog before. We should buy some more." Kagura piped up, "By 'we' I mean you should buy me more. Right, boyfriend?"

An anger marked appeared on Hijikata's forehead.

A bigger bank account was deffinitely something he could ask for.

* * *

On their way back from their date, Hijikata couldn't help feel like they were stared at the whole time.

In fact, even now, as they walked through the streets of Kabuki-Cho, he could sense the eyes on them.

"Why do people keep staring?" He grumbled to his girlfriend.

It was then that Kagura remembered something.

"Sh*t! Check my back now!" She screamed.

As soon as Hijikata looked at what Sougo had written, his face turned pale.

Kagura noticed his expression and immediately ran to a nearby vending machine.

The reflection was sketchy at best but Sougo had made sure to use a super dark marker that even in the blurry glass, Kagura could clearly make out the message.

"What the hell Sadist!" She shrieked.

Hijikata's eyes rolled back into the back of his head.

What the hell, indeed.

He couldn't believe that they'd been going around all over Edo with "I'm with Loli-con -" written on Kagura's back, with the arrow pointing at Hijikata.

His reputation was over now.

As well as his life, if the glowing red eyes, coming from both floors of the Yorozuya building were any indication.

* * *

After barely escaping Kagura's rabid guardians, Hijikata had finally made it back to the safety of the Shinsengumi compound.

Or at least he thought it would be safe.

The huge plumes of smoke, coming from beyond the gates, said otherwise.

"What the hell is going on here!?" He shouted as he rushed inside the grounds.

There, in the middle of the courtyard, was a giant bonfire, surrounding it were a bunch of dark-faced Shinsengumi members.

"Move!" someone roared from behind Hijikata.

He barely had time to step to the side before Yamazaki plowed through with a bunch of objects in his arms.

He proceeded to throw these objects into the bonfire.

Laughter erupted from nearby.

Hijikata followed it's direction, only to find a couple of old people, sitting on the balcony and watching the flames with glee.

"Oy," Hijikata began, grabbing Yamazaki before he could run off again, "Who are those people?"

"They're Captain Okita's guests apparently." the spy replied.

Then, realizing just who he was talking to, Yamazaki promptly burst into tears.

"Vice-Chief!"He wailed, "Save us! The devil is back!"

"Save you, why? What's going o-" But before Hijikata could finish his questioning, Kondo came rushing out of the building and fell onto his knees in front of the fire.

"Noooo!" He howled, "I wanted to keep some as souvenirs!"

"Keep some of what?" Hijikata asked, he dropped the crying Yamazaki and went over to his boss.

"Kondo-san, what is that being burned?" He asked, "Also, will you please get up! Act like the chief of the Shinsengumi, dammit!"

But Kondo was too busy howling to hear him.

"Calm down, Kondo-san, I left just a few in your room." A voice drawled from behind them.

There, relishing the flames with his blood red eyes, was Sougo.

"You're behind this, aren't you? Answer!" Hijikata growled at him.

Sougo gave him a smirk, "Relax Hijikata-san. This isn't anything but a rubbish burning. You should be happy that I'm cleaning up after myself for once."

"Rubbish?" Hijikata asked before squinting really hard into the flames.

"Well, not really rubbish, more like stuff I don't need anymore." Sougo corrected himself, "I realized I don't really need them in my life, because even without them, I'm okay. Plus, they're at a better place now."

Hijikata raised an eyebrow at him, "What the hell are you blabbering about?"

"Also, how is this a better place? Whatever it is you threw in there, is being burnt to a crisp now, though!"

"Sougo, you forgot this box." the old lady from before called.

Sougo walked over and took the box from her.

"Right, thanks Baba." he said, before making his way towards the fire.

In that split second between the boxes' contents leaving the box, and the contents falling into the fire, Hijikata finally saw what it was that Sougo was burning.

All the SadChi merch that had been made, were now fuelling a large and beautiful bonfire.

"Sougo." Hijikata began, his eyes danced with the reflection of the flames.

"What?" The Sadist asked, putting the now empty box down.

Hijikata turned to face him, a small smile graced his face, "Thanks."

Sougo let out a 'Tch!', "Whatever"

"I mean it Sougo. You've really cha-" Hijikata tried to say but stopped when Sougo suddenly pushed him towards the flames.

"Hijikata-san, if you really want to show me gratitude, why don't you jump into the fire as well. It's starting to get smaller. I'm sure all that mayonnaise inside your bloodstream will fuel it up nicely."

"Like hell, damn Sadist!"

END

* * *

 _I know I already thanked you guys last chapter but Heck! I'll thank you again!_

 _In all honesty, after two months of being out of touch with this story, I almost decided to leave it unfinished in the Hijikagu side. But, one night, when I was supposed to be sleeping, I went on Fanfiction instead and reread my stories. I fell in love with this story all over again and realized I needed to do justice to HijiKagu and to the readers that follow it. So here it is and I hope you guys had as great of a ride as I did in this story._

 _More stories Update: I have so much ideas for other long term stories, especially after watching the new Live action movie, (which I loved and totally recommend by the way, if you already watched it and wanna gush about it, feel free to private message me here.) I'm not sure which I should pursue so if you guys have a preference, please share. I think I only have time (and dedication capacity lol) to do one of the ideas right now._

 _Some previews:_

 _First story: "What if Gintoki never met Shinpachi at that diner? Which means they would never have hit Kagura with his scooter. Who would have saved Otae when she was taken to work in outer space then? Who would have saved Kagura from the gang life she'd accidentally entered on Earth? Why the Shinsengumi of course. After all, they'd have been the ones to do the job if Gintoki hadn't beat them to it. Now Gintoki slowly encounters the people he should have met but didn't, just how have their lives turned out? and will they still become attached to the man that had meant so much to them in another life?_

 _Second story: Growing up with famous and powerful parents is hard. Thankfully, the next generation of Gintama kids have each other. Just what kind of trouble will these crazy strong brats get into when they get together? Imagine 7-10 year old okikagu and other couples' kids, wreaking havoc in Edo and giving their parents high blood pressure (or blood sugar depending on the parent)._

 _Third story:Kamui comes back to earth to spend time with Kagura. But wait, why does she keep hanging out with that sandy haired guy he'd once fought? Hold on, who's this black haired man she's with now? Also, why is the glasses guy always around her? How come Gintoki and her still live together even when she's an adult now? What the hell is a gorilla doing near his sister? A big brother's woes on the men surrounding his little sister._

 _See you guys on the next tale._

 _Thanks for everything again._


End file.
